


Thicker Than Water

by Krickis



Series: Who We Become [9]
Category: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Band Fic, Depression, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Character, Punk, Punk Rock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 106,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22561090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krickis/pseuds/Krickis
Summary: Life for a band on tour always brings fresh challenges. Fluttershy is ready to meet them, having grown confident as a band manager in the past two years. It’s just about the only thing she’s good at, after all.
Relationships: Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow x a spoiler owo, fluttershy x a lot of people tbh
Series: Who We Become [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/509844
Kudos: 2





	1. Life as it Comes

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 
> 
> Cover art by [Pasu-Chan](http://pasu-chan.tumblr.com/post/168498282478/guess-what-im-opened-for-commissions-d) (sketch) and Adgerelli (lines and color)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> And if these are my friends, if this is my home  
> If this is how i spend my nights  
> How I communicate and demonstrate a love of life  
> My eyes roll into the back of my head  
> If these are the last words that I've ever said  
> No, I'm not ready to die just yet
> 
> ~ Against Me!, T.S.R.

# Act I

# Dissonance

#### Chapter One

## Life as it Comes

There was a sort of beauty to the chaos of it all. The sound was, at first listen, an assault on the senses. Almost more noise than music. But after a rough start, it channeled itself. The sound of guitars, bass, and drums tightened up, giving it a sense of order.

Not that it wasn’t still chaotic, but that was the beauty of it. Order and chaos intertwined, creating their own kind of harmony. It pulsed in the air and flowed through Fluttershy, who sat alone in a small room. She was playing the day’s recordings back for what felt like the hundredth time.

The room was a small recording studio, just as big as it needed to be. There was a soundboard in the middle of the room, against a wall with a window looking into the booth that Lemon Zest’s drums were mic’d up in. Next to that was a smaller booth with a mic to record vocals. Since they weren’t recording any acoustics for the album, the electric guitars and bass could be played in the main room where Fluttershy sat. The only other thing in the room was a minifridge.

Fluttershy sat at the soundboard with headphones on, sipping on a cola in one hand and her fingers tapping against the terminal with the other. As she listened to the recording, she tried to distill the parts of the music and piece it together in new ways.

She had to, because something didn’t sound quite right. There was beauty to the chaos, yes, but it was just a seed right now. A seed that needed to grow and encompass the whole song.

And it was Fluttershy’s job to nourish it. She was not a member of Bitchette, but she was their producer in addition to being their manager. The band was working on their second album, and Fluttershy was working on helping shape their vision into the best that it could be.

But this song just didn’t seem to work. It wasn’t bad by any means; it was one of Windfall’s, and Fluttershy was quite fond of it. That was why she was giving it so much attention. She heard a single in it, but only if she could figure out what was going wrong in it. Or perhaps, just not going right enough.

She closed her eyes and focused only on the music, cutting out the rest of the recording studio. She’d done it time and time again already, but another time couldn’t hurt. While she listened, she hummed along with the lead guitar line.

Her eyes shot open and she took off her headphones. She crossed the room to a keyboard that someone had left in the room and started playing a few notes on it. She wasn’t a keyboardist by any means, but she had picked up a few basics in the two years since she’d became Bitchette’s band manager.

It was just a simple melody, but she scrunched up her face as she played it. After playing it a few times, she brought the keyboard over to the soundboard and put her headphones back on, leaving one ear uncovered. She restarted the track, and played a few notes on the keyboard as she listened to it.

She adjusted the sound of the keyboard, switching from a piano to a synthetic sound that melded better with the guitars. She played the same notes again, and she smiled. It was a strange mixture, but she liked the way it sounded.

It was far from perfect. She muted Rainbow’s lead guitar track and tried playing the keyboard in its place, but she wasn’t satisfied with that. So instead, she grabbed her own guitar, a seafoam green one with a V-style body.

She wasn’t as good of a guitarist as Rainbow, but she had been playing for a few years now. She was at least good enough to tool around with the lead guitar riff and come up with something that sounded better with the keyboard. She recorded a rough version of it to play along with the rest of the recording and played it back, playing along with the keyboard over it.

It was only a temporary solution, of course. Fluttershy wasn’t a band member, and she would let Rainbow make the final recording. In truth, she wanted the whole band to reconsider the song with the new instrumentation. Really nail down the new sound of the song and create something that would stand out on their album.

Maybe she could retool some of their other songs. She knew better than to go too far – Bitchette was a punk band, and no one wanted to change that – but there was nothing wrong with incorporating some other elements into their music. And weren’t they just saying the other day that they were a little tired of how the new songs sounded too much like their old songs?

Time got away from her as she worked, and she was still at it when the door opened and a few other people came into the room. Their appearance caught her by surprise, but she smiled when she saw who it was.

“Hey, Shy,” Rainbow Dash said. She walked over and leaned on the back of Fluttershy’s chair. “Already working on it?”

“Of course she is,” Lemon Zest pointed out. “You know Fluttershy has no chill.”

“I just thought it’d be nice to have some work done before you all got here,” Fluttershy said. “I was thinking we could maybe add some keyboards.”

“Keyboards?” Lightning Dust asked skeptically. “Shy, we’re a punk band.”

“It is a pretty weird choice,” Windfall agreed. “You mean like piano and stuff?”

“Well, not piano. But here, listen to this.” Fluttershy switched the audio to a speaker and played the song over. While they listened to it, she played along on the keyboard.

Rainbow was the first to speak as she played. “Hold on, that’s not what I recorded.”

Fluttershy nodded it. “I rerecorded it, just as a placeholder. I wanted to try something that worked more with keyboard.”

“I dunno, Shy…” Lightning Dust frowned.

“I like it,” Lemon Zest said. “It’s different, and even more important, it’s fun. I think it needs work, but I want to see where it goes.”

“Seriously?” Lightning Dust looked at Lemon Zest incredulously.

“Well, yeah.” Lemon Zest shrugged. “Our stuff’s been kind of bland this time around, you know? Not bad, just kinda… samey?”

“I’m not sure about this either,” Rainbow said. “But I guess we can give it a shot. We should at least do a proper recording.”

“You just think that because you used to be in a pop-rock band,” Lightning Dust said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You’re never gonna drop that, are you?”

“You know,” Windfall said, “we had a keyboardist in the last band I was in, and that was heavy metal. I’m not saying we need a full keyboardist in Bitchette, but it’s not just a pop thing.”

“But it’s not a _punk_ thing,” Lightning Dust pointed out.

“Do you have to only ever do punk things?” Fluttershy pointed out. “Besides, there are dance-punk bands.”

It had been the wrong thing to say, and she knew it immediately. Sure enough, Lightning Dust shot her a glare. “Bitchette is _not_ a dance-punk band.”

Fluttershy put on a patient smile and held up a hand. “I know, I don’t think we need to try for a dance-punk sound. I’m just saying there are punk bands that use keyboards is all, and I’d like to at least give it a try and see how it works first hand.”

“I like dance-punk…” Lemon Zest mumbled.

“Shy…” Lightning Dust sighed. “You know I think you’re the most kick-ass manager that there ever was. There wouldn’t be a second album for us to work on if you weren’t there to push us along. But… I can’t be the only one thinking this isn’t right.”

“I think it’s worth a shot,” WIndfall said with a shrug. “Seriously, keyboards can add a whole other layer to a song’s sound.”

Lightning Dust scowled. “We don’t _need_ another layer, that’s the point!”

“Why are you so against this?” Lemon Zest asked. “Like, we’re just experimenting with the sound. We’re not gonna do it if it doesn’t sound right in the end.”

Lightning Dust pursed her lips and didn’t say anything, so Rainbow folded her arms and met her eyes. “Come on, spill it.”

“Fine,” Lightning Dust said. She walked over to a wall and leaned against it. “Because this isn’t just about the keyboards.”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“I just… look, I’m, I don’t know, not sure the production is going in the right direction.”

“What!?” Rainbow scowled and put a hand protectively on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Shy’s been doing a great job!”

“At making us more commercial, yeah.” Lightning Dust looked away. “But like, why are we going for a more commercial sound? We got our fans through our raw intensity, and I say what we’re missing is the next logical step with that. We need to make our second album _more_ intense!”

No one said anything right away. Eventually it fell to Fluttershy to answer. “If you all don’t want to do the keyboards, we don’t have to. It was just an idea.”

“Hang on, I want to do the keyboards,” Rainbow said.

“Really?” Lightning Dust asked. “Because you didn’t a second ago.”

“I said I wasn’t sure, not that I didn’t want to.” Rainbow put her hands on her hips. “But I _do_ want to try it. Maybe it’s a bust, but it’s just something to give a try right now.”

“You’re serious?” Lightning said, looking at each of them in turn. Silence filled the room. It screamed the unwanted truth at her with strength and clarity. “You can’t be serious…”

She turned toward Rainbow Dash, locking eyes with her. “Dash, you're really okay with this?” This was barely a question, as if she didn’t expect an answer. As if she just needed to hear it in certain terms.

Rainbow sighed. “Yeah. I think we should try Fluttershy’s idea.”

“I’m with Dash,” Windfall said. “I think it all comes down to how we use the keyboard rather than the fact that we’re using it. If ska bands can make brass instruments with punk work, then we can absolutely try keyboards.”

“It’s not just the keyboards!” Lightning Dust threw out her hands. “Come on, guys! We’ve been getting more and more commercial since our first EP.”

“Playing on the radio isn’t a bad thing, Dust,” Rainbow pointed out. Her voice was quieter than Lightning Dust’s, but every bit as intense.

“ _Selling out_ is a bad thing, Dash!” Lightning shot back.

Rainbow reared back. “We’re _not_ selling out!”

“Look, what matters is the music,” Windfall said. It was typical of him to try and placate the others during an argument. “We make kick-ass music. Who cares if it’s punk enough?”

“That’s what I’m saying though!” Lightning Dust said. “We could be doing so much more. We’re pushing ourselves, but we’re pushing in the wrong way.”

“Dust,” Fluttershy said calmly. Everyone turned towards her. “I think you’re the only one who feels this way. Everyone else likes our sound.”

Lightning Dust looked around at everyone. A moment later, she turned on her heel and walked to the door. She opened it and stopped before stepping through. “Fine, but don’t expect me to go along with it while you all ruin the sound we worked for.”

“Dust, wait!” Lemon Zest said desperately as Lightning slammed the door on the way out. No one had anything else to say.

It wasn’t like they always agreed. The band was close, but they had gone on two tours and recorded an album and an EP together already. They’d lived together on the road for two years now, with only fans, roadies, and each other for company. They’d had plenty of chances to disagree and get on each others’ nerves as time went on.

But this? This was something else entirely. This time, they’d had a full-blown fight, and it had been over something Fluttershy had suggested. The others all seemed to like the idea, but did that really matter? She wanted the whole band in on this together, that was how they did everything.

“So… now what?” Windfall asked.

“Now…” Rainbow sighed. “I guess I’ll talk to her.”

“No, I will,” Fluttershy said with a calm that she didn’t really feel. “I’ll explain that we don’t have to change the songs.”

“I… kind of want to, though,” Lemon Zest said tentatively. “Maybe it’s not really my place to say since I don’t write songs, but… I don’t know, this stuff has just been less fun.”

“I could do another album like our last one,” Windfall said. “But then what? Is our third album going to be the same thing _again_? Do we really want our new thing with each album to be ‘we’re more extreme than before’?”

Rainbow nodded. “And… it’s nice having people like our songs, you know? Hearing us on the radio, seeing people wear our shirts when we’re out, it’s awesome. Maybe it is just because we were in a pop band, but I don’t know. I like this stuff, and other people do too. That’s not ‘selling out’.”

“So then… what do we do?” Windfall asked.

They all looked to Fluttershy. She was their manager, she was supposed to be the one with the answers in times like this. And yet this time, she was as lost as any of the others.

But she had to say something. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. I think she probably needs some time to herself right now.”

Lemon Zest shifted uncomfortably. “You know, maybe it would sound better coming from one of us. She, uh… she seemed to be kinda, you know…”

“Against Fluttershy?” Rainbow deadpanned.

“I just think she needs to see we’re on the same page as Shy,” Lemon Zest said. “Maybe Windfall or I should go after her, and everyone else can work on the keyboard idea?”

“I’d rather not touch the keyboards until we’re all on the same page,” Fluttershy said. “Maybe you could go, Zesty, and the rest of us can work on guide tracks?”

Rainbow groaned. “Guide tracks?”

“They’re important, Dash,” Fluttershy said.

“It’ll be nice to get them out of the way,” Windfall said. “Think you can handle Dust on your own, Zest?”

Lemon Zest smirked, already on her way to the door. “Yeah, no problem. I’ll bring her back before you know we’re gone.”

Fluttershy swivelled her chair around so she could face Lemon Zest before she left. “Make sure she knows we want her to be happy with the recording too. We won’t do something she doesn’t want to be a part of.”

“Sure thing.” Lemon Zest flashed a thumbs up, then she left.

It was all Fluttershy could do to hope that Lemon Zest would be more successful one on one. She had a point that it might sound better coming from a band member, but Fluttershy still thought Lightning Dust might need some more time to herself first.

“Well, let’s get to it,” Rainbow said, collapsing into a chair of her own.

At first, there wasn’t much for Rainbow and Windfall to do. Fluttershy needed to set up a click track, a simple repeated clicking that matched the tempo of the song so that they could keep time easier.

Once the click track was in place, it was time for Rainbow and Windfall to do their part. They recorded their guitars together, Rainbow playing lead and Windfall playing rhythm. It didn’t have to be perfect, just a guideline for the rest of the instruments to be recorded.

Once that was done, Rainbow recorded the vocals. Nothing fancy, no double tracking, no harmonies, no counterpoints. Just one pass at the lead vocals to put over the guitar track. And with that, they had a guide track for the band to listen to while making the actual recording.

Truthfully, Rainbow really could’ve recorded the guide track on her own, but having Windfall saved some time – and some of Rainbow’s sanity. Rainbow worked great with others, but when it was just herself on guide tracks, she seemed to feel uncomfortable.

And despite Rainbow’s protests, it really didn’t take very long. Making professional recordings could take some time. Recording something, playing it back, trying it again, comparing takes… it all added up. Guide tracks would never be heard by anyone who wasn’t present for recording sessions, so there was no pressure to make them sound good.

And so they finished long before Lemon Zest and Lightning Dust came back. So they moved onto another, and then another after that. They usually recorded one guide track, then worked on recording the actual song. Fluttershy found she kind of liked doing the guide tracks back to back. Get it all out of the way so that when they sat down to do the recordings, they could jump from one to another effortlessly.

Hours slipped away in the productivity, and they managed to get guide tracks done for the rest of the songs they were considering for the album. All in all they had more songs than they were likely to use, but it didn’t hurt to have the guide tracks done.

Although having them done and no Lemon Zest or Lightning Dust did leave them in an awkward place. “I’ll call Zesty,” Fluttershy said after they had run out of work to do.

She pulled out her phone and found Lemon Zest’s name in her contacts. She hit call and listened to the ringing. After a moment, Lemon Zest’s voice answered her. “Hey, Shy.”

“Hi, Zesty. How’s it going?”

“It’s, uh…” Lemon Zest sighed. “I’m sorry, Shy, but I don’t think we’ll be back today. Things are… Well, I don’t know yet. I think we’ll see how things go tomorrow.”

Fluttershy frowned. They only had a month left of recording time, and the label had been clear they expected the album to be finished and ready for pressing after that month was up.

But she couldn’t force them. Things were already heated enough, and they had managed to get a few solid hours of productivity in already. “Okay, Zesty. We’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah. See you then.”

Fluttershy hung up and leaned her head back until it rested on the backrest of her chair. She wished Lemon Zest had been a little more open about what was going on, at least. “Dammit…”

“So… what’s up?” Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy picked her head up and shook it. “They won’t be back today.”

“Ouch.”

“So what’s the plan?” Windfall asked.

Fluttershy sighed. “Zesty said they’ll tell us what’s up tomorrow. I’d rather wait until this is settled before working on something.”

“So… we just call it a day then?” Rainbow asked.

“I guess.” Fluttershy checked the time. It was already a quarter after five anyway.

“So wanna go grab dinner?” Windfall suggested.

“Sounds good,” Rainbow said.

They both stood up to go, so Fluttershy followed. She wasn’t really hungry yet, but she didn’t know what else to do. She had other plans for later in the night, but it was a little too soon for that.

Fluttershy took one last look at the equipment as they left, hoping they could get a more productive day tomorrow with everything settled. She sighed and shut off the lights, then followed the others out the door.

* * *

Fluttershy liked being in cities where she didn’t know anyone. Back in Everton, she would be afraid of running into people she knew, but here? She was all the way out on the west coast, thousands of miles away from everyone she knew.

Which helped when she left the restaurant. Rainbow had asked them if they wanted to go out for drinks, and Fluttershy had declined. She _did_ in fact want to go to a bar, but not with Rainbow and Windfall.

She took a taxi from the restaurant to a local gay bar. When they left Everton, Fluttershy couldn’t imagine ever going to a gay bar; she wasn’t yet comfortable with her sexual orientation, and the idea of going out to an actual bar hadn’t been appealing.

But it had been two years since she had left her hometown. She was now the manager and producer of a punk band, and that had changed her in some ways. Alcohol flowed freely at the concerts, even before the band members were old enough to drink, and girls were scarcely harder to get.

And those habits persisted when they weren’t on tour. She had become a regular of this particular bar, known for her generosity and her openness to the affection of the other patrons.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite punk chick,” the bartender said as she walked in. Fluttershy had been trying to get this particular bartender back in her hotel since she had arrived in… whichever town they were in. Fluttershy didn’t always bother to keep track.

She gave a shy smile. “Hello, Honey Spice. How are you tonight?”

“Same as usual. Better now that I get to see you.”

Fluttershy giggled and took a seat.

“So what can I get you?”

“Hmm, I think I’ll start light tonight. How about a hard lemonade?”

“You got it, doll.” Honey Spice bent under the counter and pulled out a bottle of hard lemonade. She opened it for Fluttershy, then passed it across the counter.

Fluttershy sipped the drink slowly. If tonight was going to be the night she got Honey to leave the bar with her, she was going to be here for a while. Better to stick to low alcohol drinks and make them last.

“So how’s things with the band?” Honey asked, leaning on the counter to be closer to Fluttershy.

“Things are going well,” Fluttershy lied. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone that Lightning Dust had walked out on them. “The second album is coming along nicely, I can’t wait until people get to hear it.”

Without getting into the events of the day and the fight they’d had, Fluttershy told her about how things had been going. They had about half the songs they definitely wanted to be recorded, although some of those might still get touched up, and they had guide tracks for the rest of the songs.

After Fluttershy explained what a guide track was and why they were important, Honey Spice asked, “So then after that, it’ll be time for you to hit the road, huh?”

Fluttershy nodded. “The tour doesn’t start for another two months, but the band has to work on their setlist. We’ve got one more month of recording, then our focus is the live show.”

Honey Spice ran a hand through her hair. “Geez. And even though you’re not in the band, you have to go with them.”

“Well, I don’t _have_ to.” Fluttershy took a sip of her lemonade. “Most band managers don’t go on tour with them, and they hire separate tour managers for that.”

“Ever thought of doing that? You know, settling down?”

Fluttershy smiled. She knew that Honey was only thinking about her wellbeing, but it really was unnecessary. “I _like_ touring with them. It, well, for one thing, it gives me a job year-round. Being a manager to just one band only gives me so much to do. Besides, my band is like my family, I wouldn’t want anything to change between us.”

Honey shrugged. “I guess. Must make holding down a relationship hard.”

Fluttershy’s smile faltered a little. “I’m not… really good at relationships, anyway.”

“Nice girl like you? I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend in every state you visit.”

Fluttershy giggled and stalled from answering by taking a drink of her lemonade. Thankfully, she was saved from needing to say anything, as Honey had to attend to other patrons.

It wasn’t a matter of finding a girlfriend. Fluttershy was pretty sure she could do that if she wanted to. But then what kind of relationship would she have? No, things were better if Fluttershy avoided that.

As if to prove Honey’s point, it wasn’t long before another girl sat down beside Fluttershy. “Anyone sitting here?” she asked after she was already in the seat.

Fluttershy smiled. She really had her eye on Honey, but she was open to seeing where this went first. “No, go right ahead.”

The other girl smiled back. She was around Fluttershy’s age and she had red skin with yellow freckles. “My name’s Strawberry Kiss.”

Fluttershy was tempted to ask if that was her real name, but she didn’t really care either way. Instead, she simply offered her own name. “Fluttershy. Nice to meet you.”

“I hope this isn’t too forward of me, but can I buy you a drink?”

Being a manager, producer, and songwriter had proved to be fairly lucrative for Fluttershy. Indeed, she made more money off the band than any of the band members did for the various things she did for them. She didn’t need anyone to buy her drinks.

But, of course, she didn’t want to be rude. “Sure, if you’d like.”

“Excuse me?” Strawberry said to Honey. “Can I get two strawberry daiquiris?”

Honey Spice smirked and leaned across the bar. “Word to the wise? She likes Hurricanes.”

Strawberry smiled. “Okay, two Hurricanes then.”

Honey Spice mixed their drinks for them, giving Fluttershy a wink as she handed them over. Fluttershy giggled as she took a sip of hers.

“So you must come here pretty often, huh?” Strawberry asked.

“Maybe,” Fluttershy said. She smiled. “Does that bother you?”

“No, no, I wasn’t judging or anything,” Strawberry answered quickly. “I think it’s cool. I… well, I wouldn’t even have been able to work up the nerve to talk to you, but my friend…” She looked across the room at a guy who was already flirting with someone else as well.

“Afraid I might bite?” Fluttershy asked.

“No, I’m just…” Strawberry blushed, barely noticeable against her red skin. “I’m not that used to, you know, being open yet.”

“Ah, I see. We’ve all been there.”

Strawberry took a long drink from her cocktail. When she finished, she smiled broadly. “Anyway, tell me a little about yourself.”

That was a good thing about being a band manager – it was always easy to have something interesting to say. “I work in the music industry.”

“Oh really? That’s so cool!”

It always was. Fluttershy was twenty-two, which meant women her age were easily wowed with her career, whether they were Bitchette fans or not. “It’s a fun career. I tour around the country with the band I manage.”

“Is it anyone I’d know?”

“Maybe. Bitchette? Some of their songs get radio play.”

“What? Are you for real?”

“My picture’s in their CD booklet, if you feel like checking.”

“No, I believe you it’s just… wow!”

Fluttershy chuckled. This was a pretty typical response. “So what about you, Strawberry?”

Strawberry blushed and looked down slightly. “I, uh, I can’t really compare with that…”

Fluttershy sipped on her Hurricane. Unfortunately, _this_ was sometimes a response as well. “I’d still like to know.”

“Well, I’m an art student…”

“Oh, cool. Have you been drawing a long time?”

“My whole life. But… I don’t know if I’m all that good yet.”

If Fluttershy wanted a girlfriend, this was where she could say she’d like to see Strawberry’s art sometime. Everyone liked it when people showed interest in their passions, and it gave them an excuse to keep talking after the night was over.

Instead, Fluttershy said, “I’m sure you’re better than you give yourself credit for. And besides, that’s what school is for, right?”

“I guess so.”

There was something to be said about not being invested. It let Fluttershy be bold. If Strawberry got offended, it didn’t matter; Fluttershy could just try flirting with Honey Spice again, maybe even get some sympathy for having struck out.

So it didn’t matter how this went either way, and that let Fluttershy do it without worrying too much. She took a large drink from her Hurricane, then leaned in closer to Strawberry. “So, Strawberry Kiss. Does that mean your kisses taste like strawberries?”

It was hard to tell, but Fluttershy knew Strawberry must be blushing. “I– I guess so. It’s the flavor of chapstick I use, so…”

“Hmm… maybe I can see for myself?”

Strawberry slowly smiled. “Okay.”

Fluttershy closed her eyes and tasted strawberries on her lips, soon followed by the Hurricane on her tongue. She placed her hand behind Strawberry’s head, fingers intertwining in her hair, and traced it along to her cheek as they pulled apart.

Strawberry placed her own hand on Fluttershy’s and beamed. “Want to get out of here?” Fluttershy asked.

“Uh…” Strawberry looked back at her friend, who was still preoccupied with his own conversation. “Where did you have in mind?”

“We could go for a walk, there’s a park near here.” Fluttershy pulled her hand away, but she grinned suggestively. “Or we could go back to my hotel.”

“Your hotel? You mean like…”

Fluttershy took another drink from her cocktail. “Strawberry, I’m leaving town in a month. I’m not looking for a girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, though. Just… let yourself enjoy the night.”

“I…” Strawberry placed her hand on Fluttershy. “Okay. Yeah, sure. Let’s go back to your place.”

Fluttershy smiled. She could try to get Honey another night, right now, she had plenty of ways to make the night enjoyable with a girl who tasted like strawberries.

* * *

The morning after was always awkward. Like so many before her, Strawberry seemed to want to make something of their time together. Fluttershy had come to expect that, however. It didn’t matter how clear she was upfront, they always wanted to know if they could meet again before Fluttershy left town.

It was another reason she looked forward to the tour. The girls she slept with on tour never asked to see her again, they never wanted to make something out of nothing. They were there for the exact same thing she was, and that made everything so simple.

Since they had taken a taxi from the bar, Fluttershy left Strawberry with enough money for one before she left. Then she donned a pair of sunglasses, and walked down to the recording studio.

It would take a lot more than a hard lemonade and a Hurricane to get Fluttershy hungover, so the glasses were hardly necessary. Still, it wasn’t like they hurt either, and the sun was shining particularly brightly.

Although she was looking forward to seeing her band, Fluttershy paused in the lobby to grab a coffee. She hadn’t slept well the night before, and she was hoping for a productive day. She was often the first one in the studio, but Lightning Dust had asked the whole band to show up together, and Fluttershy was hoping that meant she was interested in making up for yesterday’s lost time.

Whatever she wanted, it wouldn’t be long before Fluttershy found out. She pushed open the door to the studio room Bitchette used for recording and found the whole band was waiting for her. She smiled and took off her sunglasses. “Nice to see everyone early for a change.”

Everyone offered their good mornings except for Rainbow, who just grunted. It was already noon, but that was early for the band. Most of their sessions went late into the night, and they slept through the mornings.

Lightning Dust cleared her throat. “Alright, I guess I should start. I’m sorry I walked out yesterday. Bitch move on my part.”

“You said it, not me,” Rainbow grumbled. Windfall elbowed her.

Lightning ignored her as she continued. “But I did some thinking, and well… I’m not happy with where Bitchette is going.”

“We’re still on this?” Rainbow asked irritably.

“Let her finish,” Lemon Zest said. Fluttershy realized she had a resigned look to her, which complimented Lightning Dust’s anxious look in the worst possible way.

“Yeah, I’m still on that, Dash,” Lightning said, although she sounded more defeated than anything. “Which is why I’m leaving the band.”

“You’re _what?_ ” Rainbow suddenly sat bolt upright.

“Dust, what the fuck?” Windfall shook his head. “That’s not funny.”

“And I’m not joking,” Lightning said. “Look, I’m the only one with a problem here. Everyone else loves this alternative thing you want to do, but like, I just don’t, okay? It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just not what _I_ want to be a part of.”

“We can figure something out,” Fluttershy said. “No one wants you to leave the band.”

“I know that,” Lightning said. “But I’ve made up my mind. I’ll stick around and record the album. I’ll record it exactly how you want, no arguments or anything. I don’t want any hard feelings, this isn’t because of you guys, I just know that this is never going to go back to being the band I wanted it to be.”

No one said anything for a moment. For her part, Fluttershy was just hoping Lightning would reveal this was a particularly mean prank, even after she said she wasn’t joking.

Eventually Lemon Zest spoke up. “Dust and I talked about it yesterday, and… I think she’s right. I don’t want her to go either, but I see where she’s coming from. The rest of us all agree on what direction we want to go, and well… none of us really want to go the direction Dust wants to.”

“This is bullshit.” Rainbow stood up and walked to the door.

Fluttershy walked in between the door and Rainbow. “Dash, don’t.”

Rainbow had her hands balled into fists and a glare on her face, but Fluttershy knew it wasn’t meant for her. In some way, she wished it was. She could also see Lightning’s point, even if she didn’t want to, and she hated seeing Rainbow so angry at her.

“Let me go, Shy,” Rainbow said.

“Dash…”

“She just needs to clear her head,” Windfall said. “Let her go.”

Fluttershy sighed and stepped aside, and Rainbow left the room. No one else reacted for a few moments. What was there to say?

Windfall seemed to have an idea. “We’re all sorry to see you go, Dust.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lightning said. She gave a weak smile. “Don’t know how you’re going to replace me.”

“I guess we’ll have to figure that out,” Fluttershy said. “Maybe we could advertise somewhere?”

“I know a few people I could ask,” Windfall said. “I know a lot of musicians back in Everton.”

“I guess it would be nice if it’s someone you know,” Lemon Zest said. “As much as wanting someone that’s good for the music, we need someone we can get along with on tour.”

Another silence fell over the room. This time Fluttershy was the one who broke it. She looked up at Lightning and asked, “So what will you do now?”

“You have to ask?” Lightning smirked. “Find another band.”

“Oh, so we’re the replaceable ones?” Lemon Zest asked with a smirk.

“Hmm, I don’t know about that.” Lightning shrugged. “But maybe I can get a group going that’s _almost_ as good as Bitchette is.”

“Well, if you do get a band together, I’ll try to do what I can to get you signed,” Fluttershy said.

“Leave it to Fluttershy.” Lightning shook her head. “She’s finally done having to put up with my shit, and here she is still trying to look out for me.”

“I liked putting up with your shit,” Fluttershy said. “It’s Zesty’s shit that’s the problem.”

“Hey, what!” Lemon Zest said. “Come on, I’m like the most laid back member of the band!”

“Uhm…” Windfall quirked an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m the second most laid back member of the band!”

Everyone laughed, in part because it was true. Windfall and Lemon Zest were never known to cause problems of any sort, whereas Lightning Dust and Rainbow were. Still, Fluttershy wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.

And yet, she had to. Somehow she had to find someone to replace Lightning Dust, who had been a part of the band even before Fluttershy was. More than that, Lightning Dust was her friend. They had spent two years touring the country together, and now she would no longer be there.

Fluttershy walked across the room and put her free hand on Lightning’s shoulder. She considered going for a hug, but she knew that even now, even after this, Lightning just wasn’t the type of person who went in for hugs. “I’m going to miss you, Dust.”

“I know. I’ll miss you too, Shy. Tell you the truth, I almost wanted to ask you if you wanted to try and manage a second band.”

Fluttershy frowned. “I’d almost want to say yes, but…”

“I know, that’s why I’m not asking. You give everything you’ve got to Bitchette, and another band would just be in the way.”

Fluttershy smirked. “I’d say if you ever need a producer I’m sure I could take some time off, but…”

Lightning laughed. “That’s where we might not be the best fit.”

“So, uh…” Windfall glanced at the door. “Want me to go after Rainbow, or…”

“No.” Fluttershy left Lightning’s side to walk over to the door herself. “I’ll do it. She’ll want to talk to me about this.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Windfall said.

Fluttershy was definitely right, and they all knew it. They were all close. They’d spent two years with mostly just each other and an endless stream of changing faces for company, they had to be close. But Fluttershy and Rainbow were and always would be inseparable.

She didn’t find Rainbow in the lobby, so she stepped outside. Sure enough, Rainbow was standing outside of the building.

“Tell me she changed her mind,” Rainbow said.

“You know she didn’t.”

“How could she do this to us?”

“She’s right, Dash.” Fluttershy put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “You know she is.”

Rainbow pulled away from Fluttershy. “No, she’s not! She can’t just abandon us like this!”

“She’s _not_ abandoning us!” Fluttershy shook her head. “She said she’ll keep recording on the album. She wants to make sure she’s not screwing us over.”

“She is screwing us over though!” Rainbow folded her arms. “What about the tour? We have to go on tour when the album’s out, she’s leaving us alone for that!”

Fluttershy pressed her hand to her temple. She didn’t need Rainbow making this worse than it already was. “We have two months to find a replacement.”

“And get them trained up to be in the band.” Rainbow quirked an eyebrow.

“We’re a big name now, Dash. We’ll be able to find a good bassist who can learn our songs quickly.”

“How are you not more pissed about this!”

Fluttershy pursed her lips together. “Because it’s not my decision, Dash! It’s Dust’s, and she made it already!”

“Well, she can unmake it.”

“Or you can stop being a child about it!”

Rainbow’s mouth fell open and she stared at Fluttershy. It was rare for the two of them to be on opposite sides, and it always threw Rainbow off when it happened.

“Don’t you realize what she’s giving up?” Fluttershy tried again to place her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. This time, she allowed it. “This can’t be easy for her, and she needs our support. We’re her friends, Dash. And yes, she’s going away, but that doesn’t mean we can just stop caring about her.”

Rainbow deflated. “It’s just, you know… Me and Dust started this band together. It started with just the two of us, and now… I don’t want her to go.”

“I know, Dash. Neither do I.”

“So… what do we do now?”

Fluttershy wished she had an answer to that. “Take life as it comes, I guess. We still have an album to record, and then we need a new bassist.”

“Yeah…”

“It’ll be okay, Dash.”

Rainbow was quiet for a moment before saying, “Come on, let’s go back inside.”

Fluttershy nodded, and followed Rainbow back into the building.

Their lives had become chaotic. Fluttershy travelled the country with a punk rock band, and she rarely saw the same faces twice. But there was an order to it too, four faces she could always count on to be there. The beauty in her chaos.

And now it was changing, and all she could do was wait and see where it wound up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another new story! This will be a twenty-three chapter story divided into three acts. It should publish weekly for its entire duration.
> 
> Yes the drink choice was a Hurricane Fluttershy reference. And incidentally, I know that Fluttershy is taking on both the job of producer and audio engineer here; this was done to simplify the story a bit by having less technical stuff and cutting out the necessity for another character. It’s one of several concessions I knowingly made in the story to improve it as a work of fiction. That said, I’m by no means a musician and there may be unintended inaccuracies all of the place. Sorry for those in advance :twilightblush:
> 
> Don’t feel like waiting? [$3 patrons get access to all of Act I right now (seven chapters) and $5 patrons get access to everything I write as I write it, which includes this whole story](https://www.patreon.com/Krickis) ^^
> 
> Fluttershy’s Equestria Girls cutie mark by [Shafty817](https://shafty817.deviantart.com/art/EQG-Fluttershy-s-Cutie-Mark-669600031).
> 
> The song excerpt from the beginning comes from [T.S.R. by Against Me!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHINQu-NbKQ&feature=emb_logo). If this story were an animated series, I would want that to be the openning credits song.


	2. Creative Differences

#### Chapter Two

## Creative Differences

It was bullshit. No matter what anyone said, that’s what it was. They had built this band together, and now Lightning Dust was just going to walk away from it? She was one of the founding members, how were they ever going to do this without her?

No one else seemed to see it that way, though. Hell, everyone continued on as if nothing was changing, save for the occasional update from Windfall when someone he’d contacted replied that they were interested in the position. Rainbow usually went silent when those updates came; there shouldn’t _be_ a position for them, their band had always been just fine as it was.

The least she could do was the tour with them, then they could take some time off before scheduling another one to find a replacement. But no one else seemed to think that was a problem, so Rainbow held her tongue. Better to be silent than to have Fluttershy tell her off again.

Distantly she at least acknowledged that there _was_ a lot to be said for the increased notoriety that Bitchette had achieved since releasing their first album. Sure, they weren’t selling out stadiums, but music magazines talked about them as an up and coming band worth watching, and they had songs on the radio. Along with giving them a way to make money doing what they loved, that came with certain other perks.

At the very least, they had more than one person looking to audition this time. Enough people sent videos in that they had decided to hold off on watching them, that way they could see them all at once and compare them with one another.

Meanwhile, everyone just went about recording things while the videos kept coming in. It had been almost a week and true to her word, Lightning Dust never protested no matter what they wanted to record. Rainbow kind of missed it. Sure, they didn’t always agree, but an extra opinion on the proceedings had been welcome.

It didn’t feel like it mattered that everyone else liked the new sound. Knowing that it was pushing Lightning Dust away made Rainbow want to wipe the recordings and start fresh, make something they could _all_ get behind.

But she didn’t. She held her tongue, and let her frustration out in her recordings.

“I want to try that again,” Rainbow said after doing a third take on the lead vocals. “I feel like I can get my voice to go a little farther.”

“Okay, Dash,” Fluttershy said from her seat behind the console. “But how about first you come out and get some water? I don’t want you throwing out your voice, we have a lot to record today.”

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow took off the headphones she was wearing and set them down, then stepped out of the soundproof booth where she recorded vocals. She grabbed a bottle of water out of a mini-fridge in the corner of the room, then collapsed into a chair.

“I think things are coming along pretty well,” Fluttershy said. “At this rate, we shouldn’t have a problem finishing on time.”

“Mmm.” Rainbow drank her water. She idly wondered what would happen if they didn’t finish on time. Would Lightning Dust stick around until they were done?

“Wanna play it back?” Windfall asked.

“Alright.” Fluttershy hit some buttons on the console and their music filled the room. They’d been working on a song called _Your Impatience_ , and the only thing that still needed to be finalized was the vocals. Once they had Rainbow’s lead in place, they could record Windfall and Lightning’s backing vocals.

Everyone listened to the recording intently, searching for any flaws that needed to be ironed out. Everyone except Rainbow, of course. She was miles away in her head, thinking about how they only had three more weeks together.

Three weeks, then recording would be wrapped up. After that, there would be no need for Lightning to stick around, so she’d probably head back to Everton. Three weeks, and then they wouldn’t be quite the same band ever again.

She looked over at Lightning Dust, who was listening to the song as critically as the others, but who would definitely not be voicing her thoughts on the track. It was one of the songs in their new style, one of their ‘alternative’ songs as Lightning had described them.

So Rainbow tried her best to bring as much energy to the recording as she could, tried to show Lightning that they weren’t getting soft just because they wanted to try new things. She wasn’t sure how well that was working out, since Lightning never showed any signs of what she felt.

Rainbow looked away. When it came down to it, they already weren’t the same band they had been. Lightning Dust was still here, but she was acting like little more than a session musician. Sometimes Rainbow was tempted to ask her not to bother recording backing vocals for the album at all, her voice only serving as a reminder that she wasn’t really present.

But as with all things, Rainbow held her tongue. She waited for the song to end, then she said, “I don’t like my vocals.”

“Yeah, you wanted to rerecord them,” Fluttershy said. “We can do that.”

Rainbow frowned. She needed the vocals to be more raw, and she’d been pushing her voice to its limits to get it there. She was not a traditionally good singer, she knew that. But her voice was built for punk. It had an edge to it that suited the genre well. And yet, somehow it just wasn’t cutting it. Not for what she had in mind.

But she held her tongue. She would try again later, because that was all she could do.

“I liked it,” Lemon Zest said. “I think it’s fine the way it is.”

“I think so too,” Windfall said. “What are you trying to do here, Dash?”

“I don’t know,” Rainbow said. “I just don’t like it.”

“Maybe we should take a break,” Lightning Dust said. It was the first time she had suggested they do anything since she announced her departure, and she was getting them _off_ schedule?

All eyes turned to her, but it was Windfall who spoke up. “What’s up?”

Lightning frowned. “Look, we’re ignoring it, but I’m leaving. We need to go through those videos and find a replacement, and the sooner the better.”

“We?” Rainbow said bitterly.

Lightning sighed. “I’ll stay out of it if you want, but for fuck’s sake, get a move on it.”

“We should get these recordings nailed down first,” Rainbow said.

“No, I think Dust is right,” Fluttershy said. “Even if we find someone, we still have to get them here then practice with them. The recordings are going fine, we’ll have time to make sure they’re up to speed, but only if we get them on board soon.”

Again, Rainbow held her tongue. And since no one else voiced a complaint, they all moved over to crowd around Windfall, who pulled out a laptop. Fluttershy plugged it into the studio’s speakers so that they could hear the videos in high quality, then they picked one at random to play.

They watched a guy play along with one of their songs, the sound of which came out of a CD player he had in the background. It proved a little distracting, and just made the sounds from his own bass blend in too much with Lightning Dust’s. He seemed to play the song well, but he displayed no kind of stage presence as he played.

“I think we’re all thinking pass on this one,” Lightning said.

“At least we agree on that.” Rainbow wondered what would happen if she vetoed every audition.

Next up was a girl who had the decency to play the music she was listening to on her headphones, leaving only the audio of her bass for them to judge. She was much more energetic than the guy had been, both in her playing and her movements. She jumped around the room, which might have been impressive on stage if she didn’t topple into one of the other members as she did it. To finish off her video, she took off her bass and smashed it against the floor.

“I guess she… really counted on getting the part…” Lemon Zest said.

“I’m… not sure I want to go on tour with her,” Fluttershy said.

It was one thing to smash an instrument when the label gave them cheap ones for that exact purpose, but to break her own instrument for an audition of all things… “Yeah, she looks like a liability waiting to happen,” Rainbow added. “Next.”

They sifted through several more videos. One was a fantastic audition for a funk bassist, something none of the members were really sure if they wanted. One certainly played energetically, but seemed to mute half her notes. One played an original composition with lyrics and everything, which was decent in terms of performance but frankly sucked in terms of songwriting.

There were good ones too. Most of them were decent, at least. They kind of blurred together after a while though, and it was obvious they’d need another pass after eliminating obvious failures to really compare them all.

Until there was only one left. “Saved this for last,” Windfall said. “She’s a special treat.”

“Is she good?” Lightning asked.

“She was the first person I asked for a reason.” Windfall grinned. “And she went to Cloudsdale Middle with me, Rainbow, and Fluttershy.”

“What?” Rainbow turned to Windfall, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he just hit play.

A tall woman with brown skin stood in what looked like a garage. She had white hair, which was frosted on the tips. Rainbow recognized her immediately.

“Holy shit, it’s Gilda,” Rainbow mumbled.

“I’m Gilda, and this is my Bitchette bassist audition,” Gilda said, then she started playing. She didn’t seem to need any music to play along with, having neither music playing that they could hear nor headphones on with her own music.

“Alright, so, stupid question,” Lemon Zest said as they watched, “but that _is_ a bass, right?”

“Yeah, that’s a bass,” Lightning Dust said.

It wasn’t hard to see why Lemon Zest would ask that. Gilda played a five-stringed bass, and she a blistering solo on it that at times sounded more like the low notes on a guitar. It was an impressive solo, both in skill and composition, and Rainbow wondered if she had written it herself.

Gilda was also far from stationary as she played, though she kept herself well contained to one area. It was easy to see that the audience would love watching her, but that she wouldn’t get in the way of the others on stage.

Her solo came to a close, but she didn’t seem to be done. She pressed play on a CD player, and a recognizable drum pattern came on.

“Another of these,” Lemon Zest said with a frown. Of course, she recognized the drum loop immediately – she had recorded it.

But then guitars came in, and Rainbow realized something was slightly off. It was their song, but it sounded different. “This is a cover, isn’t it?” Rainbow asked.

She got her answer soon enough, as no vocals came in. There was also no bass – someone had recorded only the drums and guitars for one of their songs to serve as the backing track to this part of her bass audition.

In place of having bass on the recording, Gilda performed it herself. But rather than try to play it exactly as written, she changed it. It was still grounded in the same groove that Lightning Dust had recorded, but she made it her own. It sent a clear message – Gilda was not Lightning Dust, and if they chose her, they were taking her as she was instead of trying to mold her into something they were used to.

She stopped when the song was over and grinned. “All instruments played by yours truly. Bass is my instrument of choice, but I can play guitar and drums. I also write my own stuff, including the solo I opened with. Call me, Dash.”

Gilda reached towards the screen and shut off her video recorder, and everyone looked at one another. It was Lemon Zest that said what they were all thinking. “Wow.”

“Okay, if you _don’t_ want her, you’re all idiots,” Lightning Dust said. “She blew away all the other auditions.”

“Yeah, she’s got my vote,” Windfall said.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you had Gilda!” Rainbow punched Windfall’s shoulder. “Having someone we already know on board makes this so much better! Right, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy was still staring at the screen, and she had a frown on her face. She didn’t respond.

“Fluttershy?” Rainbow prompted.

Fluttershy blinked a few times then shook her head. “I… I never thought I’d be seeing Gilda again.”

“Pretty cool, right?” Rainbow asked with a smirk. “Wonder whatever happened to her after middle school.”

“I went to high school with her too,” Windfall said. “We kind of fell out of touch after that, though. I didn’t realize she had gotten _that_ good since I last heard her.”

“So we all in agreement then?” Lightning Dust asked.

The idea of Lightning leaving still sucked, but Rainbow couldn’t deny that there was a silver lining now. “I think so.”

Fluttershy sighed. “I’m… well, I guess it might be okay.”

“Might be?” Rainbow asked. “She was awesome.”

“Oh, yeah, she definitely had the best audition,” Fluttershy agreed with a slight smile. It didn’t last for long, however. “But I was just thinking, well… Gilda was really mean to me back in middle school.”

“What?” Rainbow scrunched up her face. “I don’t remember anything like that.”

“No, I don’t think you ever knew about it. She… when you weren’t around, she used to make fun of me a lot.”

“Oh.” Lemon Zest frowned. “Well, fuck her then. We don’t need that kind of negativity in the band.”

Rainbow frowned for different reasons. “Shy, why didn’t you ever tell me that?”

Fluttershy looked away from Rainbow. “She was your friend. I… I didn’t really know what you’d think.”

“Didn’t know what I’d think? I would’ve kicked her ass to the curb in an instant!”

“I guess… I guess I knew that. But, uhm, I didn’t want to get in the way of you and your friend.”

“Geez, sometimes I forget how meek you used to be,” Lightning Dust said.

“Look, Gilda was going through some really bad stuff back then,” Windfall said. He wouldn’t meet their eyes. “And I knew her in high school. She turned over a new leaf, she’s not the bitch she used to be.”

“Well, sure, not to you,” Rainbow pointed out. “But we were her friends, Windfall. She was cool to us even back in middle school.”

“I’m just saying we should hear what she has to say,” Windfall said. “She’s good, Dash. She’s really good. She could be an asset to us.”

“We have to live with her,” Rainbow said irritably.

“I _don’t_ have to live with her and I’m calling bullshit.” Lightning Dust folded her arms. “I don’t want someone like that being in the band. Shy’s the one who’ll have to deal with her crap.”

Lemon Zest nodded. “Yeah, why take the chance?”

“That’s what I’m saying, though,” Windfall said, finally looking at Rainbow. “No one has to deal with her crap, she’s changed.”

“Look, we’re done talking about this,” Rainbow said. “Sure, she’s good. That’s obvious. But we need more than good, and none of us want to give her a second chance after she blew her first one.”

“I might,” Fluttershy said. She turned to Windfall. “You really think she’s changed?”

Windfall smiled at Fluttershy. “Yeah, I do.”

“And so have I,” Fluttershy said. “I’m not the pushover I was back then. If she’s causing problems, I can tell her to get the hell out of here.”

Rainbow glared at Windfall. Why was he sticking up for her so much? “I’m not working with her. End of story. Now, let’s get back to recording.”

“Dashie…”

“Don’t ‘Dashie’ me,” Rainbow snapped. “This is for your own good, Shy. For all of our own good.” She got up and walked back to the booth, stopping at the door to turn to the others. “Now, I want to take another pass at those vocals. We’ll go through the videos again later and figure it out then.”

Without waiting for an answer, Rainbow stepped into the booth.

* * *

Days passed, and it was more of the same. They recorded, Rainbow felt like something was missing, and she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t get the vocals on _Your Impatience_ right no matter how many ways she attempted it, and she could tell the others were frustrated of her trying. They eventually tabled that song and moved onto another.

But while the song they were recording may have changed, the recording sessions didn’t. Rainbow was dissatisfied, Lightning Dust was silent, no one else seemed to notice or care.

“Great job, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said once Rainbow had recorded her lead guitar on a song. “I think that’s a perfect take.”

Rainbow was less sure. “Well, let’s play it back then.”

Fluttershy hit a button, and the song started playing from the top. Everyone silently gave it their attention, Rainbow most of all. She wasn’t sure she liked what she heard, but she also wasn’t sure what to do about it.

“I like it,” Windfall said when it was finished.

“I don’t know,” Rainbow said. “Feels like it’s missing something…”

“Keyboards?” Lightning Dust asked with a smirk.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. Contrary to what Lightning seemed to think, they weren’t filling the album with keyboards. Like the majority of the songs they were recording, this one featured the standard guitar, bass, drums, and vocals approach.

Before anyone was able to offer any suggestions, the door opened. Rainbow turned to tell whoever it was that they were in the wrong studio, but her words fell to the ground as her jaw dropped open.

“Hey, dweeb,” Gilda said with a grin. “I hear you could use someone to fill in with your band.”

Rainbow couldn’t manage to say anything, so Lightning Dust filled in for her. “What are you doing here?”

“Not exactly the welcome I was hoping for…” Gilda said, scratching her neck as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

“I _did_ warn you that they would need to be convinced,” Fluttershy said. All heads snapped towards her. She sighed softly. “I invited Gilda here. I thought it would be good for all of us to have the chance to talk things out and decide if we want to try things out together.”

“Wait… you called her without telling us?” Lemon Zest asked.

“At first I just wanted to talk to her, but then I thought it would be best if we all talked.” Fluttershy looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry, I know I should have told you all, but I just… didn’t want you to shoot it down before she was even here.”

“No way.” Rainbow narrowed her eyes at Gilda. “I don’t care if you came all the way here, Fluttershy told us what happened back in middle school.”

“Well, I want to hear her out,” Windfall said before Gilda could answer. “Gilda, why don’t you tell us your side of things?”

Gilda sighed. “My side of the story is that I was a huge bitch to Fluttershy back then. I made her my punching bag and I wouldn’t have blamed her if she wanted nothing to do with me.”

“I guess it’s good you realize you fucked up,” Lemon Zest said.

“I did fuck up, and I’m not going to fuck up again. I’m not the same bitch I was back then.”

Rainbow’s blood was boiling. She was looking at Gilda, but she was seeing someone else completely. Someone who said something similar once, someone who failed time and time again. “I don’t care. We don’t need someone around who put Shy through hell.”

“Gilda wasn’t _that_ bad,” Fluttershy said. “I’m not a little kid anymore, Dash. I can take care of myself.”

Gilda scoffed and looked away from everyone. “Look, I don’t want to be here if you don’t want me here, RD. I just, I dunno, I thought out of everyone that you might give me the benefit of the doubt.”

“Why don’t you tell her what you told me?” Fluttershy asked.

Gilda frowned and took a seat. “Alright, guess I might as well, huh? So yeah, back in middle school, I was going through some stuff.”

“Like that’s an excuse,” Rainbow said.

“It’s not,” Gilda said. “But I’m not trying to make excuses. I’m just saying that I’m not that person anymore.”

“Let’s at least hear her out, Dash,” Lightning Dust said.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you,” Rainbow snapped, turning to glare at Lightning. “You just want to be able to leave guilt-free.”

“That’s low, Dash,” Lemon Zest said harshly. “Dust cares about us. And fine, if you need to hear it from someone else, _I_ want to hear Gilda out. Shy invited her, after all.”

Gilda groaned. “This is stupid. She doesn’t give a shit what my reasons were.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Gilda’s parents lost their house.”

Gilda just stared off into the distance, not giving any sign that she even heard Fluttershy at all.

“That’s pretty harsh,” Lemon Zest said.

“You don’t even know if that’s true,” Rainbow pointed out. “Just because she said it, doesn’t mean it happened.”

“It happened,” Windfall said. “Remember, I knew Gilda back then, and in high school too. Her parents lost their house and they had to move into a one-bedroom apartment in a shitty part of town.”

“Tell them the rest, Gilda,” Fluttershy prompted gently.

“It’s dumb,” Gilda said. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“It changed things for me,” Fluttershy said.

Gilda groaned again and shifted positions. “I guess I kinda felt like it was my fault, you know? Like I was just a drain on their time and money and if they didn’t have a kid, they’d be able to live a better life. I even ran away from home for a while to try and make things easier for them.”

No sob story was changing things. Not for Rainbow. “So what, you want me to be so sympathetic that I forgive you for bullying my best friend behind my back?”

“No,” Fluttershy said sharply. “But _I_ want you to think things through. Gilda had the best audition out of anyone. We all agreed on that. You were ready to give her the part before I said anything, and I’m willing to let the past go. If I’m willing to leave it behind, then why the hell aren’t you?”

Rainbow tried to come up with a response to that, but nothing came to mind.

“Besides, we only have a limited time,” Fluttershy said. “We have to be tour-ready in under two months, and that involves finishing this album and then practicing the tour setlist. We _need_ to settle on someone soon, and Gilda is the best choice.”

“You’re sure about this, Shy?” Lemon Zest said.

“I’m sure I’d like to give it a shot,” Fluttershy said.

Lemon Zest smiled. “Then I’m willing to try as well.”

“I was with you from the beginning, Gil,” Windfall said.

Rainbow looked around at the room. As usual, Lightning Dust wasn’t weighing in, and everyone else voiced their support of Gilda. As usual, Rainbow was the only one with a problem.

So she did what she always did. She got up, and she walked away.

“Rainbow, wait,” Fluttershy said, but Rainbow was already out the door. She needed to get away, she needed to clear her head.

She left the building and looked down the sidewalk. She considered just making a run for it. She barely ever got a good workout in anymore, and there was no room for second-guessing when she was pushing herself to run as fast as she could.

Instead, she leaned against the building and waited. Fluttershy would come follow her soon, and then they’d talk about it. But this time, Rainbow wasn’t folding. They had time to find a new bassist, and if not, Lightning Dust would just have to stay.

Predictably, the door opened. “Just give it up, Shy. I’m not working with her.”

“Not quite,” Lightning Dust said. She leaned against the building with Rainbow. “So, wanna talk about what this is about?”

Rainbow scoffed. “It’s about Fluttershy. She doesn’t need someone around who hurt her!”

Lightning Dust just shrugged it off. “She doesn’t seem all that hurt, Dash.”

“You just don’t –”

“Know her like you do?” Lightning Dust quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe I know her better than you give me credit for.”

“You weren’t there when we were kids. This is how things are with us.”

“Yeah, and that’s why maybe I know her better than _you_ do.”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “Bullshit.”

“No, really. You look at her and you see whoever she was back when you were in school together. And I didn’t know her then, but I know that’s not who she is anymore. She’s a strong woman, Dash. Not a little girl who needs you to protect her.”

Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets and kept her mouth shut.

“This isn’t about Fluttershy. This is about me.”

Rainbow gritted her teeth.

“I’m not staying. I need to do what’s right for me, you know? And when the album’s done, if you haven’t found someone, I’m still going.”

“So just fuck us then, huh!?” Rainbow pushed herself off the building and threw out her hands.

“It isn’t like that, Dash.”

“Yeah it fucking is! You’re leaving us!” Rainbow placed her hand on her chest. “You’re leaving _me_!”

Lightning Dust frowned but she didn’t answer.

“Alright, fine, I don’t want Gilda to replace you! Happy? That’s what this is about, you’re leaving us and it’s just… it’s really shitty.”

“Yeah,” Lightning Dust said. “Yeah, it is. I’m the bad guy here.”

Rainbow looked away. “Why don’t you just go. We have Gilda now, I guess, so why don’t you just get the hell out of here?”

“Tch.” Lightning Dust shrugged. “Is that what you want?”

Rainbow stepped closer to Lightning Dust, so that they were face to face. “What the hell do _you_ want, Dust!? You said you’d stick around to do the album, but I could play bass on it myself if that’s all you’re here for. I want you to be a fucking member of the fucking band you helped start!”

Lightning Dust’s eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched. “You think I want to leave? No! This was _my_ band too! And you have no idea how much it sucks to see it turning into something else without being able to do shit about it! And you, just… just what the fuck, Dash? I’ve watched you disagree with every fucking decision that’s being made and you haven’t said shit about it! You wanna act all high and mighty because you’re staying, but let’s see _you_ show some god damn backbone for your own band! Because…” Lightning Dust tore her eyes away from Rainbow’s. “Because you’re the only one left to do it.”

The two of them stood in silence for a while, then Rainbow sighed. “You really suck, you know that?”

“Yeah, I do.” Lightning smiled. “What do you say we go back inside and show the newbie a thing or two.”

“Yeah, alright.”

Lightning opened the door for them, so Rainbow walked in. She paused before they reached their studio, however. “Hey, Dust. When you start your own band, you singing lead?”

Lightning shrugged. “Haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

Rainbow opened the door. “Just wondering.”

It looked like Windfall was talking to Gilda, but whatever conversation they were holding died as Rainbow and Lightning walked back in the room. All eyes turned to the two of them, so Rainbow decided to finally live up to her position as the band’s frontwoman.

She pointed to Gilda. “You. Watch and try to learn something.” She turned next to Fluttershy. “I don’t want to rerecord the vocals to _Your Impatience_.”

Fluttershy quirked her head. “Decided you’re happy with it?”

“No. Lightning Dust is gonna do it.”

“I’m gonna do what?” Lightning asked incredulously.

“Yeah, what are you talking about?” Lemon Zest said. She was sitting backwards on a chair and leaning on its headrest. “You’ve always been our singer.”

“And I think Dust can sing this one better than me.” She turned to look at Lightning Dust. “I meant what I said. If you’re not going to be a part of this band, you can just leave now. But if you’re gonna stick it out with us for one more album, then you gotta be willing to get your hands dirty.”

“By recording lead vocals?” Lightning asked.

“By giving it a shot, or at least by convincing me it’s a bad idea.” Rainbow folded her arms. “So what’s it gonna be?”

Lightning smirked. “Alright, fine. I guess if you’re really that determined to see me leave you in the dust.”

No one really seemed sure of it, but despite it being one of their alternative songs, _Your Impatience_ was raw. Rainbow’s voice wasn’t good in a traditional way, but she’d been singing her whole life. Despite how her voice sounded, she could sing.

Lightning Dust was much rougher than Rainbow was, and that’s what the song needed. She put on the headphones and stepped up to the mic. “Ready.”

“Alright,” Fluttershy said. “ _Your Impatience_ , Lightning’s vocals, take one.”

* * *

_Hey bitches, Lightning Dust here. Just recorded my first ever lead vocals today, so be ready to get blown away when the album drops! It’s gonna be INSANE!! When me and Rainbow first started this band I never thought I’d be singing lead, but I gotta say I kicked ass today._

_That’s also the last lead vocal you’ll ever hear from me on a Bitchette song. Turns out this is my departure announcement. I’m recording the rest of the album with the band, then I’m hitting the road. I know everyone says creative differences in times like this, but that’s really the only way to describe what’s going on right now._

_The tour’s still on, we got a replacement all lined up. I’ll let the band introduce you to her on their own when they’re ready, but she’s fucking GOOD. I want each and every one of you bitches to make it out to a show and see her yourselves because you can bet I’ll be there in the audience too._

_I’ve loved being in Bitchette. I love my family that I’m leaving behind, and I know they’re going to keep kicking ass without me. I’ve also loved seeing you all when we tour, you all are what made being in this band worthwhile!_

_It’s been a wild ride, but for this bitch, it’s time to go out on my own. But don’t miss me too much, I’m sure I’ll be back with my own thing before too long. So keep rocking, and try to keep Rainbow from crying over me leaving! I’ll see you all around, until then, peace!_


	3. With Meaning and Without

#### Chapter Three

## With Meaning and Without

It was good to see a crowd again. They had worried that there might not be many people in the audience, what with it being a surprise show with minimal advertising, but the venue was filled up.

Fluttershy faded into the crowd. She was sitting at the bar and drinking a beer that cost far too much money. She wouldn’t normally have bothered, they had booze backstage, but she had a reason to be out on the floor.

“It’s weird seeing the stage from the audience’s view,” Lightning Dust said as she sipped on her own beer.

“Yeah, it is,” Fluttershy agreed. “It’ll probably be even weirder once Bitchette gets on stage.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Lightning took a big drink. “Hey, Shy, can I tell you something? But like, you can’t tell the others.”

“Of course.” Fluttershy smiled as if she wasn’t, but she was surprised. She was friends with Lightning Dust, of course, but they had never really exchanged secrets.

Lightning Dust fidgeted uncomfortably. “I’m kind of scared. What if they get on stage and I just realize I made a mistake?”

“I don’t know,” Fluttershy said, although that wasn’t entirely honest. Because in truth, she did know. Nothing would change. They’d made it all official, done the all the necessary contract things and got Lightning Dust released from the band and Gilda added as her replacement. Legally speaking, she was not and could not be part of the band any longer.

Lightning grinned. “Ah, fuck it. It’ll be cool to sit back and watch for a change.”

“I’m sure it will.” Fluttershy pulled out her phone to check the time. “I should head back to see them before they go on. But I’ll come back and find you here when the show starts.”

“Sounds good.”

Fluttershy quickly downed the rest of her beer and stood up, and Lightning Dust did the same. She put her hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder, so she stopped and turned to her. Lightning smiled. “Make sure Dash is holding it together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Fluttershy said with a smile of her own. Lightning sat back down, so Fluttershy made her way through the crowd.

It was slow going, since Fluttershy was small and lacked authority, but she managed to get backstage with a little effort. Things were much calmer once she did, although roadies were busy moving around and setting up the stage for Bitchette’s set.

Fluttershy ignored them and went straight for the band’s dressing room. As she expected, no one seemed particularly nervous. Rainbow and Windfall were on their phones, Lemon Zest was dancing to whatever music she had playing in her headphones, and Gilda was sitting quietly drinking a beer.

Even if it was their first show in months, they were professionals. They’d toured the country and played more concerts than Fluttershy cared to count. She knew they would be fine. Still, it was their first show with Gilda, so Fluttershy approached her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

Gilda just shrugged. “Just looking forward to being on stage, I guess.”

“Nervous at all?”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

She certainly seemed fine. It had been a month since Gilda joined the band, and she’d done well in their rehearsals. The only thing left to be seen was if she could hold it together in front of an audience. She didn’t seem worried though, so Fluttershy tried not to be either.

And while this would be the first real test of Gilda’s performance with the band, Fluttershy was less concerned about that. She’d had some reservations, even though she was the one who invited Gilda to fly across the country to meet with them. But Gilda seemed to be making good on her word to be a better person than she’d been in middle school, and she’d been fast friends with the band.

Well, most of the band, anyway.

There was a knock on the door, then it opened. A roadie popped his head into the room. “You’re on in five.”

“Got it,” Rainbow said. She stood up and stretched, then looked at Fluttershy. “Hey, Shy, wanna come check the stage with me?”

Fluttershy didn’t for a second believe that Rainbow gave a damn about checking the stage before the show, but she decided to humor her. “Sure.”

They left the room, which of course meant leaving Gilda. That was how Rainbow was whenever Fluttershy talked to Gilda; she seemed to think that Fluttershy needed to be saved from having to talk to her former bully. It was unnecessary, but Fluttershy suspected she’d get over it once they were on tour together. Travelling together every day and playing together every night would be sure to bond the two once again.

There wasn’t much to do, so they just watched the roadies work. Fluttershy smiled. “Pretty big turnout for a surprise show.”

“Yeah, well, it _is_ Friday night. Good night for a show.”

“Yeah, I suppose it is.”

The tour didn’t properly start for another few weeks yet, but they’d finished wrapping up the album and had been working every day on practicing their setlist. This was a good way to introduce Gilda to their fans, as well as get her used to playing on stage before the tour properly began. As a bonus, they could play some of their new songs.

Before too long, the rest of the band came out to join them, followed by a venue staff member. Fluttershy put on an encouraging smile, even if they hardly seemed like they needed it. “Are you all ready?”

“I think so,” Windfall said. The rest of the band gave their agreement.

The staff member nodded and ran off, then a moment later the lights went dim and the venue’s music stopped.

“You’re on,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah. See you in a bit, Shy!” Rainbow led them onto the stage, and the others followed. As soon as the audience saw them, they started cheering.

Without bothering to introduce themselves, Lemon Zest clicked her drumsticks together four times, then the band launched into their first song. It was one of their new ones, so the audience wouldn’t know it, but even from where she was just behind the stage, Fluttershy could see the audience going crazy over it.

She watched for a minute or so, then she made her way back to the audience. She weaved through the crowd to get back to the bar, where Lightning Dust was still waiting. She didn’t seem to notice Fluttershy walk up, too transfixed with watching the concert.

Fluttershy didn’t often watch the shows from the crowd anymore; she’d seen them perform far too often for it to hold the same excitement. From time to time, however, she decided the crowd was exactly where she wanted to be. Sometimes it was because she wanted to get a better idea of what the audience saw to be able to advise the band, sometimes it was just because she got bored of being backstage.

And of course, tonight was an exception for Lightning Dust’s sake. Because after all, Fluttershy _had_ seen this before, while Lightning had not. She had seen plenty of concerts in her time, but never had she been able to sit back and just watch Bitchette play.

She seemed to be transfixed by it. It was a straightforward concert, just like all of their concerts were. The band didn’t have the budget for big pyrotechnics, they didn’t have some crazy light show, there were just four people on a stage playing the hell out of their instruments. But Lightning Dust couldn’t take her eyes off it; she watched as if it was the most captivating thing she’d ever seen.

Fluttershy could only guess what she must be feeling. She knew more than most what it was like to be in the band. Indeed, she knew more than anyone other than the band members themselves. But she didn’t know what it was like to walk away from them, to see them in a new light and know that things would never be the same.

She didn’t know what it was like to say goodbye.

“How are my bitches tonight?” Rainbow asked when the song was over. The audience cheered.

Lightning Dust had a weird sort of smile. It had been her idea to call their fans bitches. It almost felt wrong to keep up the tradition without her, Fluttershy thought.

Not that Lightning seemed to have a problem with it. She just took a sip of her beer and apparently noticed Fluttershy for the first time. “So I guess these new songs might not be so bad after all. Or maybe they just put on a hell of a show, I don’t know.”

“You all always did.”

Lightning laughed and took a drink.

“I want to introduce you to our new bassist!” Rainbow said. “Everyone give it up for Gilda!” The audience cheered again, and Gilda played a short but complicated riff on her bass.

Rainbow announced the next song, and the band resumed playing. It was hard to talk over the sound of the music, so Fluttershy and Lightning just watched silently for the most part. Perhaps that was for the best; Fluttershy certainly had no idea what to say under the circumstances.

There was something great about the band live that they had never quite captured on their albums. Indeed, they probably had come closer on their debut. Maybe that was what Lightning Dust saw that the band was lacking.

It made Fluttershy wonder if Lightning was right, if it was her fault that they couldn’t capture that element in the studio. Their live sound was one thing that Fluttershy didn’t touch, after all.

 _‘Maybe we could do a live album,’_ Fluttershy thought. Then she thought about how much of a shame it would be for Lightning Dust to not be a part of that. Guest appearance for the song she sang lead on?

She looked to Lightning and wondered if she’d be open to something like that. It was far from the right time to ask her, however. Fluttershy would have to bring up the idea of recording a live album with the band first, and as much as she wished it did, that no longer included Lightning Dust.

The show passed in much the same way. Fluttershy wondering what Lightning Dust was thinking, Lightning giving no real indication. Occasionally she would weigh in on something, commenting that Gilda had good stage presence, or about how she’d never really had the chance to see Lemon Zest perform live before. Vague comments that didn’t show how she felt about the whole thing.

“We got one more for you,” Rainbow announced. “But first, I gotta say something. This is more than Gilda’s introduction, this is Lightning Dust’s send-off. Lightning Dust was right there with me when we first started this band, and now she’s off to do her own thing. But she’s here in the crowd tonight, so let’s hear it for Lightning Dust!”

The crowd cheered, and Lightning Dust smiled sheepishly.

“She was more than our bassist, more than a songwriter. She was our sister, and for that, I want you all to head to the bar and make sure she doesn’t leave here sober! For our last song, we’re gonna do one that she wrote. You all know it, so you better fucking sing along!”

Rainbow played the intro to a song called _Broken Mirror_ , and then the rest of the band jumped in. The vocals started with the band wordlessly harmonizing, and the audience sang along. Fluttershy looked at Lightning Dust, and for the first time, she was pretty sure her friend was enjoying herself.

Per Rainbow’s request, fans arrived at the bar to buy Lightning a drink and tell her that they enjoyed her songs. Lightning was quick to point out that although she had written the music for _Broken Mirror_ , she wasn’t a lyricist – Fluttershy had written the lyrics to this one. Soon, people were buying her drinks as well.

“That girl must have fell from the stars

She kept one of them still wrapped ‘round her finger

No surprise she moved through my life

Onto something better, and something bigger.”

Fluttershy drank deeply. She had never quite known how to feel about this song. It had changed things for her, that’s for sure. It was released as a single, and while it hadn’t been their most popular single, it had been relatively successful. And more importantly, it had become a fan favorite.

“Thank you all for coming out!” Rainbow announced after the song ended. “We’ll be back as part of the tour in a couple months, so come see us again!”

“Guess that’s our cue,” Fluttershy said to Lightning Dust. She looked around at the fans that surrounded them and smiled. “Excuse us, we’re expected backstage.”

Lightning Dust rolled her eyes and grabbed Fluttershy’s wrists. She led her through the crowd. “Alright, make way, make way.”

Lightning proved far more effective at getting them through the crowd than Fluttershy had. Many of the fans were going the opposite way, heading for the merch booth or the bar, but few seemed to actually be leaving the building. The band hadn’t planned an encore, but it looked like their audience might be expecting one.

By the time they got backstage, the band was already there. Rainbow saw them coming and grinned. “So what do you think? Do we still kick ass or what?”

Lightning grinned back. “I guess it was alright. You know, for a show without me. How you feeling, newbie?”

“That was pretty sick,” Gilda said. “Got me looking forward to the tour.”

“I think you all did great.” Fluttershy laughed. “I think the audience wants more.”

“Oh yeah?” Lemon Zest asked. “Think we should give it to them?”

“I don’t see why not,” Fluttershy said. “Don’t want to disappoint the fans.”

“Yeah, just gimme a minute.” Windfall took a long drink out of a bottle of water. “Those stage lights are hot.”

“Yeah, but nothing beats the rush.” Lightning Dust looked out to the stage. “I’m gonna miss it.”

“You know,” Gilda said, “if you’re looking to start a band in Everton, I have some friends who might be interested.”

“Cool. I’m not trying to rush it, I wanna make sure whoever I start a band with has the same idea for where they want to go as I do.”

Although she probably didn’t intend for that to be taken negatively, Rainbow, Windfall, and Lemon Zest all averted their eyes. “I think whatever you do, it’ll be wonderful,” Fluttershy said.

“Wonderful.” Lightning Dust smirked. “Probably not a word that’ll be used to describe us much.”

“Hey, Shy knows her stuff,” Rainbow said. “I’m sure your new band will be wonderful, and lovely, and cute, and –”

“We’re about to see how cute I am with my foot up your ass,” Lightning said.

“Uhm, excuse me.”

They all turned around to see a young woman that Fluttershy didn’t recognize. There were a few people backstage that didn’t look like roadies or the venue staff, so Fluttershy put on a bright smile. They had to show their best to the fans who liked them enough to get backstage passes, after all.

“Hey there,” Rainbow said. “How’d you all like the show?”

Everyone offered their opinion all at once, but they all seemed enthusiastic. The band gave their thanks, and soon they were mingling with one another.

Fluttershy left them to it and instead decided to check what was going on with the rest of their fans. She peeked over the stage and saw that the crowd didn’t seem to have thinned out, so she made her way back to the others.

“They’re still out there,” Fluttershy told them. “Any ideas what to play for an encore?”

“We only really rehearsed the stuff we played,” Windfall pointed out, then he turned to Gilda. “Think you could play some of our other stuff?”

“I can manage,” Gilda said.

“I, uhm, I have an idea.” Fluttershy looked at Lightning Dust and smiled. “What about _Your Impatience_ with Lightning on lead vocals? It’s her moment, I think she should get to share it live at least once.”

“That’s a great idea,” Lemon Zest said. “I’m down for that.”

“The song you recorded the day I showed up?” Gilda asked. “I don’t know it.”

“I could play, I guess.” Lightning kept her voice nonchalant, but she couldn’t hide her smile. “But you all will _really_ have to get by without me after this.”

“I think we’ll manage,” Rainbow said. “But come on, let’s get back on that stage before they riot.”

Lightning Dust borrowed Gilda’s bass, then the band went back on stage. Since it was just the two of them and the fans backstage, Fluttershy turned to Gilda. “Hope you don’t mind being left out.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I know I’d want to go up there if I was her.”

The audience cheered as the band got back on the stage. “We heard you all want some more!” Rainbow said, to more cheers.

“Got something good for you bitches,” Lightning Dust said. “I’ll give you a break from listening to Rainbow’s voice. I’m gonna sing _Your Impatience_ , a song off our new album I sing lead on. This might be the only time it’s ever played live with me here, so hope you’re all still sober enough to pay attention!”

Windfall played the guitar intro, then the rest of the band came in together. Even if they had never rehearsed the song for live performance, they played it well.

“Wow, this is really cool,” the fan from earlier said.

Fluttershy smiled for her. “It is for me too. I’m glad to see Dust gets to go out with a bang.”

“I can’t believe she wrote _Broken Mirror_. I always thought that was Rainbow Dash’s song.”

Fluttershy nodded. Being the lead singer, Rainbow had most of the songs attributed to her. “Dust wrote about a third of the music for both albums.”

“It just feels so personal. And it always really meant a lot to me. I… I kind of came backstage to tell Rainbow Dash how much it means to me as a lesbian to hear someone being so open about it. But I guess I should tell that to Lightning Dust instead.”

Fluttershy had seen this a lot. The band had gotten a large gay following, almost certainly because of Fluttershy’s lyrics. No one had ever really stopped to think about it; Fluttershy was gay, and she wrote lyrics about her love life. Rainbow was straight, but she sang the songs as Fluttershy wrote them. It was all credited in their CD booklet who wrote what.

But a lot of fans didn’t bother to read who wrote what, it seemed. Show after show, fans constantly credited all the lyrics to Rainbow. And, to be fair, she did write most of them. Lightning Dust and Windfall both wrote music, but not lyrics. Meanwhile, Fluttershy often helped Rainbow with hers, but she only wrote a few of their songs herself.

Fluttershy didn’t mind, though. “Do you want a drink?” she asked the girl. She accepted, so Fluttershy, Gilda, and the fan all grabbed a beer together.

“The new songs sound so good,” the girl said.

“Glad you like them,” Fluttershy said. “We’re all really excited for the album to come out.”

She gave Fluttershy a confused look. She seemed to be figuring out that Fluttershy wasn’t just another fan. “Uhm, I hope this isn’t rude, but who are you, exactly?”

Fluttershy just laughed. “I’m Fluttershy. I’m the band’s manager.”

“And producer,” Gilda added. “And keyboardist. And songwriter.”

“Well, I played keys on a few songs on the new album… I’m not much of a keyboardist, though.”

Gilda just smirked. “From what I gather, Shy’s the reason the band took off at all.”

“Oh wow, that’s so cool!” the girl beamed. “So you get to work close with the band, that must be awesome!”

Gilda frowned, but Fluttershy kept smiling. She was used to fans not really understanding how much she did. They were Bitchette fans, after all, not Fluttershy fans. To them, working with the band was the most notable part of Fluttershy’s job.

“So what’s everyone like?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “You can ask them yourself when they come back.”

It wasn’t long before that happened. They played one more song with Lightning Dust before coming back to mingle with their backstage fans as others filed out of the building and the venue staff started the cleanup.

“Rainbow Dash!” The girl practically had stars in her eyes as she looked up at Rainbow. “I’m your biggest fan! And Lightning Dust, _Broken Mirror_ is like my favorite song ever.”

Lightning smirked. “Yeah, it’s a pretty good one. But if it’s because the lyrics, Fluttershy wrote them.”

The fan turned back to Fluttershy. “Really?”

Gilda patted Fluttershy on the back. “She’s too modest to say, but she wrote a lot of our lyrics.”

“I don’t know about a lot… I did write _Broken Mirror_ though. It’s about my ex-girlfriend.”

“It was the song I listened to when my girlfriend broke up with me. It really helped, you know?”

“I’m glad my song could help,” Fluttershy said.

“In other news,” Rainbow said, turning to Lightning Dust, “how are you feeling after that.”

“I feel good,” Lightning said. “I wasn’t sure what it would be like to see you all on stage without me, but it made me realize that you can do this. That you’ll all be okay, you know?”

“Yeah, I’m more worried about _you_ ,” Lemon Zest said with a smirk. “Thirty bucks says she cries herself to sleep tonight.”

“I don’t like those odds,” Windfall said.

“You can both fuck off, I’ll be fine,” Lightning Dust said.

“You know,” Gilda said, “after spending a few weeks with you all, I’m wondering if she’s the one who gets off easy here.”

“I didn’t say they wouldn’t be tears of joy,” Lemon Zest said.

Everyone laughed, and they talked together for some time. The fan – whose name Fluttershy never wound up catching – hung on every word from Rainbow. Even learning that Fluttershy had written the lyrics to _Broken Mirror_ didn’t seem to sway her from her obvious crush on Rainbow.

Nor did that stop Fluttershy from making a move when the night is over. “So, uhm, would you maybe want to head back to my hotel with me?”

The fan glanced at Rainbow and then turned back to Fluttershy with a smile. “Sure. Is the whole band staying at the same hotel?”

A typical question. “Yes, but they’ll probably be tired from the show so they’ll be in their own rooms. We might see them in the morning, though.”

“Oh, cool.”

Fluttershy led her out of the building, where she called them a taxi. They talked idly about the band and what being on tour with them was like, which was also typical, then they took the taxi back to the hotel. Once they were in the cab, Fluttershy kissed her for the first time.

It didn’t really mean anything, and they both knew that. Fluttershy just wanted someone to take back to bed with her, and the fan – whatever her name was – just wanted that chance to be a little closer with the band.

It didn’t mean anything, and that was okay. It didn’t have to. Fluttershy was just passing the time, waiting for the tour to start. Then on tour, it wouldn’t mean anything either. Each night would just be another night that she wasn’t alone with another girl who she didn’t need to remember the name of.


	4. Good Intentions

#### Chapter Four

## Good Intentions

Another morning, and it was time to leave another hotel. That was life though; they occasionally stayed a few days in one city, but often it was onto the next town first thing in the morning so they could play another show by the evening. They were two weeks into the tour, which meant everyone was accustomed to this once more.

Which meant they all should’ve been downstairs on time, and yet, one of them was absent. “Shouldn’t Fluttershy be the one to handle check out, since she’s our manager and all?” Gilda asked.

“Give her a break, Gil,” Lemon Zest said. “She barely ever gets enough sleep. As far as I’m concerned, her getting to sleep in a bit is a good thing.” That was fair; it was the second week of the tour, and this was the first time that Fluttershy hadn’t been the one to check them out of their hotel.

“Yeah, but we gotta go,” Gilda said. “Besides, I don’t know how much _sleep_ she got last night, if you catch my drift.”

“Watch it,” Rainbow warned. Whether it was true or not, she didn’t want anyone talking about Fluttershy like that. “Zest, you mind going and getting her?”

Lemon Zest sighed and walked back to the elevator. “Yeah, I’ll get her.”

No one was closer with Fluttershy than Rainbow, but Lemon Zest and Fluttershy were close in a different way than the two sisters were. They all knew that Fluttershy would have a guest, and out of all the girls, Lemon Zest just seemed the most comfortable with walking in on that.

For her own part, Rainbow wouldn’t really care, except that the whole situation made her angry. It wasn’t like Rainbow hadn’t had her fair share of random hookups, so she couldn’t really say anything, but something about seeing Fluttershy do it just rubbed her the wrong way. She was better than that, she just didn’t seem to see it these days.

Within a few minutes, Lemon Zest came down. She was followed by Fluttershy and another girl that Rainbow vaguely recognized from the night before.

She walked up to Rainbow with a CD and a pen in hand. “Hi, uhm, will you sign this for me.”

Rainbow wanted to refuse. She wanted to ask this girl if she even cared about Fluttershy at all, or if sleeping with her was just a way to get closer to the band. Rainbow wanted her to realize she was using one of the best people in the world for her own selfish reasons.

She wanted to, but instead, she just smiled and said, “Sure.” She took the pen and pulled out the CD book, scrawling a quick signature on it. She saw that the Lemon Zest had already signed one, and that despite her own contributions to the album, Fluttershy hadn’t.

She handed back the CD and saw the fan’s eyes go to Windfall and Gilda. “Don’t look at me,” Gilda said. “I wasn’t even part of the band when they recorded that.”

“Here, I’ll sign it,” Windfall said with a good-natured smile. Rainbow couldn’t fault him, not after she’d just signed it herself.

“Did everyone check out of their rooms?” Fluttershy asked.

“Everyone except you,” Rainbow told her.

Fluttershy nodded and went to the checkout desk to turn in her room key. The fan looked at Gilda again, who didn’t look up from her phone, and she seemed to have the good sense to not press for an autograph from her. She hung back and left the building with the band.

At least once they were outside, she walked up to Fluttershy to say goodbye. “I had a great time last night.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Me too.”

“You’re off to the next town then?”

“Yup. We’ve got another show tonight.”

“That’s so cool.” The fan smiled and waved. “Well, take care of yourself.”

“You too. Do you need me to call you a taxi?”

The fan smiled and waved away the offer. “No thanks, I’ll just have my girlfriend come pick me up.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy’s smile fell and she turned away. “Well, alright then. We should be leaving.”

The girl put her arms around Fluttershy and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for the great night! Bye!”

Fluttershy led the way onto the tour bus. Rainbow barely waited for the doors to close. “What the fuck!?”

“I didn’t know she had a girlfriend!” Fluttershy shot back.

Rainbow shook her head and quickly corrected herself. “No, I didn’t mean you! I meant, like, what the fuck is with her not telling you that?”

“Shit, she could’ve just kept not telling you that at that point,” Gilda said as she collapsed into a seat. “Bitch move.”

“Big time,” Lemon Zest agreed. She took a seat beside Fluttershy. “Hey, don’t worry about it though. You didn’t know.”

“Uh, maybe she didn’t mean it that way, though?” Windfall pointed out. “Girls are always calling other girls their girlfriends.”

“Not gay girls,” Gilda said. She shrugged. “I’m with Zest. It’s shitty, but it isn’t your fault.”

Rainbow sat on Fluttershy’s other side, so Windfall sat beside Gilda. Fluttershy sighed. “Let’s just… not worry about that.”

“Right,” Windfall agreed. “How long’s the drive today?”

Fluttershy checked something on her phone, then told them, “Three hours. Not too bad.”

“Cool.”

This was also life for a band on tour. The tour bus was a constant companion of theirs. It wasn’t so bad, though; they’d been successful enough that the label gave them a bus, at least. They’d toured out of Rainbow’s van at first, and that had been miserable.

They passed the time with lots of games – board games, card games, and videogames, whatever kept them occupied. And, of course, with conversation with one another. Rainbow waited a while to see if the conversation ever turned back to the girl Fluttershy had slept with, but it never did. Not surprising, Fluttershy had asked them to move on from that.

But Rainbow still had more to say on the subject. Maybe Fluttershy wouldn’t like it, but it was for the best that they talked about this. It had gone on for too long without anyone addressing it, and Fluttershy wasn’t doing herself any favors with her actions.

So she waited long enough to make sure Fluttershy seemed to be doing okay, then asked her if they could speak in private. Fluttershy agreed, and the two of them stood and left the others.

The back of the bus had a cabin people could sleep in if they needed to nap or were driving through the night. That’s where Rainbow led Fluttershy, and she closed the door from the others.

“What’s up?” Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow took a deep breath. She had wanted to talk to Fluttershy about this for a while. Indeed, she’d wanted to broach the subject before they even left for the tour, but she never found a good way to do it.

But if she had any hope that things would work themself out, it was clear that wouldn’t be the case. So she forced herself to look Fluttershy in her eyes, and she just hoped that she wasn’t crossing a line.

“I just… wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Is this about the girl?” Fluttershy smiled. “Really, I’m fine, Dashie.”

Rainbow ran her hand through her hair. “It’s not _just_ that. I mean, it _is_ , but like… Ugh.”

Fluttershy put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Dash, whatever it is, you can say it to me.”

Rainbow looked up and tried to force out her words. What was it? She had the idea fully formed in her head, but not the words to express it. “Well, you know, she didn’t even seem as interested in you as she did in us.”

“Dash, I don’t even remember her name. I don’t expect her to be that interested in me.”

Rainbow winced. How could Fluttershy just say that as if it was okay? “I just, I don’t know… I worry about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about. I’m a grown woman, Rainbow. I can have sex with people.”

“It’s _not_ that you’re having sex,” Rainbow insisted through her blush. “It’s just, you know, these girls… a lot of them just want to get closer to the band. They’re using you, Shy.”

“I know that.” Fluttershy frowned. “Do you really think I don’t know that? I’m not some big musician, I’m no one special. I could stand to lose fifty pounds, and I’m constantly too exhausted to take care of myself. People don’t go out of their way to sleep with me. The only thing I’ve got going for me is being your manager.”

That was a lot heavier than Rainbow had thought it would go. But then, what _did_ she think would happen? What good end did she see to this conversation? “Shy, that’s not…”

“Dashie, I know you mean well, but you don’t need to worry. I know better than to go getting attached or anything like that. It’s just harmless fun.”

Rainbow wasn’t sure of that, but she no longer felt like there would be any good in convincing her. “Yeah, of course. As long as you’re happy.”

Fluttershy smiled, then looked to the door. “We should go back to the others.”

“Yeah, alright. Sorry I just made things awkward.”

“Don’t worry, Dash.”

Rainbow sincerely wished she could obey that order so easily. But all she could do was follow Fluttershy back to the others and hope that somehow things would work out for the best.

* * *

“Sounding pretty good,” Rainbow announced with a smile.

“I think I’m still coming in a little quiet,” Windfall said.

“All good on my end.” Lemon Zest punctuated her comment with a little drum roll.

“Same,” Gilda said. “But I agree with Windfall, he was quiet.”

The sound mixer nodded and adjusted some dials. “Gimme some chords.”

Windfall began strumming, and he adjusted the volume as he did. After that, the band played another song together to make sure everyone’s instruments were well set. It was only a soundcheck, but that’s why it was so important to make sure everything was perfect now.

“That sounded better,” Windfall said when they finished the second run through.

“So we all good?” Gilda asked.

“I think so,” Rainbow said. “I’m happy with it.”

“Me too,” Lemon Zest said. “Anyone want a drink?”

“Maybe in a bit,” Gilda said as she took off her bass. “Dash, you got a minute?”

Rainbow frowned, not sure what Gilda might want but sure she didn’t want to deal with it. “Yeah, of course.”

Lemon Zest and Windfall left the stage so Rainbow was alone with Gilda. Truthfully, she didn’t like for anyone to be alone with Gilda, but if someone had to be, she was glad it was herself. She didn’t expect Gilda to do anything as crass as physical violence, but she did expect _something_ every time she saw their new bassist singling anyone else out.

“What’s up?” Rainbow asked. “Something wrong with the soundcheck?”

“No, it’s not about that. It’s about Fluttershy.”

Rainbow frowned and narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t even fake a casual tone at that. “What about Fluttershy?”

Gilda seemed oblivious to Rainbow’s tone. “It’s… I was just, you know, wondering… So how long has she been out of the closet for?”

Rainbow gritted her teeth. “Why?”

“Nothing really, just kinda wondering. I’ve never actually known anyone so, I don’t know, open?”

“Is that a problem?”

“What?” Gilda shook her head. “I never said I have a problem with it.”

“Fluttershy’s gone through way too much shit to need anything about being gay.”

“I don’t care that she’s gay!” Gilda threw out her arms. “What the fuck, Dash? I was just asking a question, I’m not some homophobe!”

“Then why do you care? What’s it matter if you don’t have a problem with it?”

“Maybe because I’m bi and I thought it was fucking cool to meet someone who’s that open with liking girls. But you know, if this is gonna be your attitude then fuck off, I’m not gonna deal with you accusing me of shit.”

Rainbow was too stunned to stop Gilda from walking off, and even if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t know what to say. As usual, Rainbow had run off her mouth without understanding what was going on, and now all she could do was watch the results of her actions walk away.

With a sigh, Rainbow left the stage. She saw Lemon Zest running after Gilda. Great, it was obvious enough that Rainbow had fucked up that someone else was getting involved too now.

Meanwhile, Windfall looked at Rainbow. “Uhh, everything okay?”

Rainbow sighed and took a seat next to him. He passed her a can of beer, so she opened it and took a sip. “I don’t know. I just try to do the right thing, and it always blows up on me.”

“Well, there’s something to be said for good intentions, right?”

“I guess…”

Windfall drank some of his own beer, then finally asked the question they both knew was coming. “So what happened?”

Rainbow sighed and sunk into her chair. “Gilda was asking questions about Shy being gay, and I thought… I don’t know, that she was making a big deal out of it for nothing.”

“Why does she care?”

“Exactly! That’s what I was thinking, why the fuck does it matter, you know? But then…” Rainbow deflated. “Well, turns out she actually has a reason.”

“So it was just a misunderstanding then.” Windfall shrugged and wore a grin. “No big deal, you just gotta sort it out.”

“She’s pretty pissed at me.”

“Pretty sure Gilda’s pretty pissed at everything all the time.”

Rainbow chuckled. “She always was, huh? Even back in middle school.”

“Especially back in middle school,” Windfall corrected. “If anything, she’s chilled out a lot since then.”

“I guess. But back then, I don’t know, I guess I was pretty pissed at everything too.”

“Ah, puberty.”

“Yeah.”

They sipped their drinks in silence for a few moments, the weight of her actions slowly sinking onto Rainbow. She’d screwed up twice today, and it was still early yet.

“Hey, Dash?” Windfall frowned. “You know Shy isn’t the same as when we were in middle school, either. She’s grown up a lot, and I don’t think she needs you to protect her anymore.”

“You just… don’t know her like I do.”

“That’s not fair.” Windfall looked Rainbow in the eye, then turned away. “I’m not as close to her as you are, but I do know her. And I knew her back then too. In those days, yeah, she needed you to look out for her. But now she’s stronger. She can take on the world, you know?”

“But just… what if she can’t? What if she still needs me, and I don’t do anything to help?”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be there for her. We’re _all_ here for her, and Gilda is too, whether you believe that or not.”

“Tch.” Rainbow drank her beer.

“I’m just saying, you know, you don’t need to baby her.”

Rainbow sighed. “Lightning Dust told me the same thing.”

“I’m not saying me and Dust are the smartest people out there, but I think if we both see it, well, that means something.”

“Maybe.” Rainbow finished her beer and stood up, tossing the empty can into a nearby trash can. It missed, but she didn’t bother to get it. “Thanks, Windfall.”

“Anytime, Dash.”

Rainbow sighed in resignation. “I think I should find Gilda.”

“Yeah, just clear the air.” Windfall tossed his own empty can into the trash, landing his shot perfectly. “Everything will work out.”

“Maybe.” Rainbow walked in the direction that Gilda and Lemon Zest walked off. She looked around, but didn’t see either of them. Instead, she found Fluttershy.

“Hey, Dash,” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“Hi, Shy. You seen Gilda around?”

Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “No. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. She just…” Wanted to talk to you? Even after what Windfall had said, Rainbow couldn’t bring herself to admit that. “I saw her and Lemon Zest wandering off, and I wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”

Fluttershy gave her a knowing smile. Did she know that wasn’t entirely true? “Rainbow, you can’t keep doing this.”

“Er, doing what?”

“I know you don’t like when Gilda’s alone with us, but she’s part of the band now. What happened in middle school is over and done with.”

“Yeah, but –”

“No buts, Rainbow.” Fluttershy smiled. “You need to learn to trust people more. Sometimes people deserve second chances.”

There was someone else that Fluttershy had tried to give a second chance. That didn’t work out so well. “I guess sometimes people deserve second chances, but other times… well, some people just don’t change, Shy.”

Fluttershy’s tone became darker. “Are you talking about Gilda or Sunset?”

Rainbow frowned and answered automatically. “Gilda.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Sunset deserves more credit than you give her, and you definitely shouldn’t hold her actions against Gilda.”

“She threw a glass at you.”

“It wasn’t _at_ me,” Fluttershy pointed out for what felt like the hundredth time.

Rainbow shoved her hands into her pockets and turned away. “Whatever. This isn’t about Sunset.”

“Okay, Dash. But you still need to give Gilda a second chance. She’s part of the band now, whether you like it or not. This attitude of yours isn’t helping anyone.”

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow smiled, but she didn’t buy into it for a second. All she needed was one reminder to set her mind straight. “I’m sure Zest and Gilda are fine. I’m gonna go head to the dressing room.”

“Alright, Dash. I’ll come back and check on you in a bit.”

Rainbow smirked and kept her eyes on Fluttershy as she walked backwards. “I’m fine, Shy. You worry too much, you know that?”

Fluttershy smiled. “So I’ve heard.”

Rainbow turned around and made her way to the dressing room. To hell with finding Gilda, and to hell with what Windfall thought. All it took was one reminder of Sunset, and Rainbow’s course was set.

Maybe Fluttershy didn’t need to be protected in the same ways anymore, but she still made bad decisions sometimes. She was too trusting, and it had already blown up in her face in a major way with Sunset. Rainbow wasn’t done protecting Fluttershy, and she wouldn’t let Gilda or anyone else hurt her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be Fluttershy; know and trust your sexual partners, kids!


	5. Reinvention

#### Chapter Five

## Reinvention

As she often did, Fluttershy found herself staring at a mirror. She never liked what she saw. She was overweight, she had bags under her eyes, she barely found the energy to brush her long hair most days.

She told herself it didn’t matter, she was on tour with a punk band. None of them looked presentable in the traditional sort of way. Who cared if she was a mess? So was everyone else.

But there was a difference, she knew. The others cultivated a certain look, they had an intentional aesthetic to them. Fluttershy just looked sloppy.

She sighed and turned on the water, rinsing her face off. Not that it would help much, but it was something. She was in a hotel bathroom, wondering what to do with her time. They had a day off, so she could actually do something to feel better about herself, but she was in a city she didn’t know and her friends were all sleeping in, as usual.

There was a knock on the door, so Fluttershy dried off her face. She must have forgotten to put the “do not disturb” magnet on the door. She put on a smile and answered the door, prepared for room keeping, but instead she found Gilda on the other side.

“Hey, Shy. Figured you’d be up already.”

That was fair, she was usually up pretty early. “Surprised to see you up at this time, though.”

“Yeah, I just… couldn’t really sleep. Mind if I come in?”

“Oh, of course.” Fluttershy stepped aside, so Gilda came in. Fluttershy closed the door behind her. She frowned briefly, but fixed it before Gilda could see. Rainbow was wrong, she reminded herself; there was nothing to worry about. “I’d offer a drink, but I never stocked my fridge.”

“Yeah, I figured as much. No worries.” There was no couch, so Gilda took a seat on the bed.

Fluttershy opted to sit down on an armchair on the other side of the room. “So what’s up? Something on your mind?”

“I guess.” Gilda looked away from Fluttershy and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s not, like, a big deal or anything.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy said, then waited for Gilda to continue. She didn’t, however, which left Fluttershy thinking it _was,_ in fact, a big deal. “You can talk to me about anything. Is it a problem with the band?”

“Tch, no, nothing like that.” Gilda looked to the side and grumbled, “Though it might be nice if Dash would stop staring daggers at me.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure she was meant to hear that, and she was sure that it wasn’t what Gilda wanted to talk about. Not that it mattered – Fluttershy was Bitchette’s manager, she had to try and smooth things over in the band before they grew out of hand. “I’ll talk to Dash about it.”

“It’s fine, I get it.”

Fluttershy frowned. “It’s not fine. You’re a part of this band now, that’s what matters. Not what happened in the past.”

“So it’s not just me then?” Gilda asked as if she already knew the answer. “She really is still holding that against me.”

“Yeah, she is…” Fluttershy sighed. “Rainbow is… very protective of me. If you had been mean to her instead, she would’ve forgiven you by now.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Again.”

“I don’t hold it against you.” Fluttershy showed Gilda a warm smile. “We’re friends now, that’s what matters.”

Gilda smiled a little as well. “I know you’re still kinda unsure of me too. It’s fine, I know it’ll take some time before you both trust me again.”

Hearing Gilda say that made Fluttershy feel guilty for having doubts about her. She always tried to push them down, but there was no denying she had her own doubts. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t sweat it. You’ll see in time. I’m not the same bitch I was back then.”

Fluttershy nodded and smiled. “Yeah, you’re a much nicer bitch now.”

“Damn right!” Gilda grinned as if that was the biggest compliment anyone had ever said about her.

Fluttershy laughed. “So, uhm, if that’s not what you came to talk to me about, what _was_ on your mind?”

“Oh. That.” Gilda looked unsure once again. It was strange that she could talk about Rainbow and Fluttershy doubting her so openly, but this gave her pause. Come to think of it, it was strange to imagine Gilda being unsure about anything. “I just… look, don’t take this the wrong way, but how did you figure out that you’re gay?”

Fluttershy frowned, more out of confusion than because she had a problem with the question. “Well, I’ve sort of always known. Even when I was little, I knew I really liked girls and didn’t see anything in boys. I didn’t really think of it as romantic at the time, it was just a sort of… I don’t know, girls were nice and pretty and boys just usually weren’t.”

“Really? So you never really doubted it?”

“I did, but deep down, I knew better. I’m a Christian, which made it hard once I was old enough to understand things. I tried, you know. Seeing what other girls saw in boys. But I knew enough to know I was gay, even if I was trying not to be.”

“Huh. Okay then.”

“Why do you ask?”

Gilda ran her hand through her hair again and sighed. “It’s just… I’ve always been bi. Or at least, I always said I was. But I’ve only been with guys.”

Fluttershy shook her head a little. “You don’t have to date a girl to know how you feel about them.”

“It’s not that. Or, well, not exactly.” Gilda frowned. It was obvious this was hard for her, even if it wasn’t yet clear exactly why. “To me, I think it was just a sort of natural thing. I hated everything back then, you know? I hated the heteronormative system and didn’t want to be a part of it.”

“Oh. So it was more a rebellious thing than how you really felt?”

“Yeah, kind of. I guess I always thought girls were okay, you know. I can appreciate a hot woman as well as a dude can. But I never knew if I wanted to actually date them, you know?”

“It’s okay to not know,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “But I can’t really help you figure it out. That’s something you need to find out on your own.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just, I don’t know. Hoping this whole thing didn’t sound stupid, I guess.”

“Of course it doesn’t.” Fluttershy leaned forward. “You know, if you really want to try to find a girl, I could probably help.”

Gilda smirked. “Wow, maybe get me a drink first?”

Fluttershy blushed but she laughed it off. “Oh, I didn’t mean me. I, uhm, don’t think we’re really each others’ type.”

Gilda laughed as well. “Yeah, I was joking. But I guess that _is_ also part of why I wanted to talk to you. You, uh, you seem to know a thing or two about picking up girls.”

“It’s not that hard. The thing I remember is that I’ll never see any of these girls again, so I can take risks. Sometimes I strike out, but it’s not like I’m trying to start a relationship with them.”

“Yeah…” Gilda scratched at her neck. “Look, it’s not my place to say, but are you happy with that? Different girls every night and all that, it just… doesn’t really seem like you.”

“I know, but I’m not looking for a relationship. This is easier to just get what I want for now and not have to worry about trying to make something work long term.”

“I guess. So, hey, if you don’t mind me asking, have you ever actually been in a relationship? Like, tried to actually make things work with the touring and all that?”

“I… I have. Not when we were touring, that’s what ended things for us once and for all. But we dated for about a year.”

“Guess it’s probably impossible to actually have something work long term on tour.”

Fluttershy shrugged. “None of us ever really tried. But you know, I’ve met people in other bands who made it work. Some of them were even married with kids.”

“I don’t think I could ever do that. Not be there for my kids, you know? Like, I don’t even think I want kids anyway, but if I did, I’d have to give up touring.”

Fluttershy’s hand moved to her stomach. “I feel the same way.”

Gilda shifted a little bit, but she talked openly as if this wasn’t a deeply personal conversation. “We grew up poor as fuck, but at least my parents were there for me. So now, I guess I’d want to combine what I had with what I wish I’d had. Be able to give kids my attention and have a more stable career.”

Fluttershy smiled. “You sound like you’ve thought about it a lot for someone who doesn’t want kids.”

Gilda blushed. “Well, I’m not out looking for a stable career, am I? I play in a fucking punk band, I’m not exactly parent material.”

“You could always retire. Record a couple albums, then get a regular job with the royalties supplementing your income.”

Gilda smirked. “Trying to get rid of me already?”

“Oh no, of course not. Just…” Fluttershy frowned and her tone grew subdued. “I guess I’d hate for anyone who wanted to be a parent to miss out on that chance.”

Gilda was, of course, oblivious to the fact this subject held weight for Fluttershy. “Eh, I’m not worrying about it right now. Maybe someday, but for right now, I was just trying to think of how to score with a chick some time.”

Fluttershy laughed. “Oh, right. Uhm, it’s really not hard. We have a lot of lesbian fans because of my lyrics, even though they all think Rainbow is the gay one. It’s, uhm… Well, a lot of people come to shows looking to party and sleep with the band.”

“Yeah, they’re called groupies, Shy.”

“Yeah… Well, it makes it easy if you just want sex, anyway.”

“Makes sense.”

Gilda didn’t look too comforted by that, so Fluttershy asked, “Or did you want to try actually dating someone?”

“I don’t know.” Gilda ran a hand through her hair. “I guess I’d like to, but come on. How the hell is that going to work?”

Fluttershy remembered an option that had once been presented to her. “Find someone we can invite as a roadie.”

“I guess. But like, I’d have to meet someone, date them, and then ask them to drop their whole life to come tour with me? In what, a couple days because that’s the longest we ever stop anywhere.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Fluttershy thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Sex is a lot easier. Maybe you could meet someone online so the distance doesn’t matter as much? I’ve never tried online dating before.”

“I never really did a lot online period. But I guess it might be worth thinking about.”

It didn’t really look like Gilda was convinced, and to be honest, Fluttershy wasn’t either. “It was just a thought. We’ll take a break for a while after the tour’s over, so you might find someone then. For now, there’s nothing wrong with just having a little fun.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Gilda shifted in her seat. “So I guess one of these nights, I should just… go for it.”

Fluttershy laughed a little at seeing Gilda so nervous. “Gilda, if it works for me, it’ll work for you.”

“You say that as if you’re not, like, super pretty.”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Gil, I probably weigh more than you and I’m like a foot shorter.”

“Weight isn’t everything.”

“And I don’t think I’m the type of girl a lot of our fans go for.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“I am.”

Gilda sighed. “Look, Shy… You gotta just not give a shit about that stuff. You’re not some little toothpick like Dash, and you know what? Hell yeah! Why should you be? Because society says that’s what women should look like? Fuck that!”

Fluttershy smiled a little. “That’s a nice thought, but it doesn’t stop me from hating what I see in the mirror.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re trying, like, way too hard. If you can’t fit in with how they want you to look, then don’t bother trying.”

“So how should I look? Shave my hair and wear punk clothes?”

Gilda shrugged. “Not unless you think you want to. But you know, looking punk is about embracing ugly things about us. Do you have any idea how liberating it is to look in the mirror and say ‘I look like shit and I love it’?”

Fluttershy laughed a little. “I’ve, uhm, I can’t say I’ve ever felt like that.”

“Hey, here’s an idea. You make, like, crazy money, right?”

Fluttershy averted her eyes. “Well, not _crazy_ money.”

“Let’s go fucking shopping!”

Fluttershy blinked. She’d never really stopped to think about what she and Gilda might do if they spent the day together, but if she had, she was sure she’d have come up with a different answer than shopping. “What?”

Gilda just grinned. “Come on, a new wardrobe to get you out of your funk.”

Maybe it was just that she reminded Fluttershy of Rarity while being as positively un-Rarity as anyone could ever be, but the suggestion got Fluttershy to smile again. “Are we gonna dress me up like a punk?”

“Why not?”

“Well, I don’t know…” Fluttershy shifted and smiled a bit. “Wouldn’t that make me a poser?”

“Oh please.” Gilda rolled her eyes. “Do you really think the others aren’t posers? Dash grew up in an upper-middle-class household and her political beliefs are essentially ‘we should all be friends’. Zest is a little better if only because she actually cares about politics a bit, but like, only a little, plus she comes from more money than Dash. Windfall is more punk than either of them, and it’s literally not even his scene.”

“Is it all about money?” Fluttershy frowned.

“It’s more about politics, but like…” Gilda sighed. “The whole punk movement started with poor working class people who got screwed by the system. Dash and Zest are great, but their parents are _part_ of the system that screwed people like me.”

“So then if you’re a real punk, why did you join a band of posers?”

“Because the music kicks ass.” Gilda shrugged. “Most punks are full of shit these days anyway. Besides, I never said I’m a ‘real punk’. Most people who talk about being ‘real punks’ are the type of people who would write me off just for playing in a band I like and hoping to actually be successful with it. The whole ‘big labels are selling out’ crowd.”

“So since everyone’s full of shit, we might as well do what we want?”

“Yeah, now you’re getting it!”

Fluttershy smiled. Not because she agreed – she knew just enough about punk ideologies to know she shouldn’t presume to know anything – but because Gilda was really trying to sell her on it.

“Well, why not?” Fluttershy stood up and stretched. “I’ve kind of wanted to try looking the part for a long time.”

“There you go!” Gilda got up as well and pumped a fist.

Fluttershy led them out of the room and down the hall, looking up a mall on her phone while they walked.

“A mall?” Gilda asked skeptically when she noticed what Fluttershy was doing. They were in the elevator heading for the lobby. “Look, you may be a punk poser, but you’re not gonna be _that_ much of a poser. Gimme that, I’ll find somewhere good. We’re going to look for a local store, bitch.”

“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy handed over her phone, and Gilda found a store she said was worth taking a look at. She gave Fluttershy back her phone as the elevator door opened, so she used a ridesharing app to get them a cab.

They sat outside while they waited for their ride to get to them. To pass the time, Gilda explained about how most punk clothing was traditionally made at home, but that it was fine to buy from smaller businesses. It was an interesting topic, and one Fluttershy knew next to nothing about. That was fine, though. It made it easy to spend most of her time listening without worrying about talking.

“You sure care a lot about this for a poser,” Fluttershy said as their ride got there.

“Look, I never said I was a poser either. I’m just… I don’t know, this is me.”

Fluttershy laughed. “I’m just teasing. I think it’s good that you actually know all this stuff. I think Dash just thinks it’s cool.”

“Oh, Dash definitely just thinks it’s cool. She probably _does_ shop at the mall for her clothes. But who knows, maybe you’ll be different.”

“Sometimes she does,” Fluttershy admitted with a slight grin.

Gilda laughed. “Anyway, it’s not that complex. It’s not about cred and all that like some jackasses think it is, it doesn’t matter if you make or buy your clothes or whatever. What matters is that big corporations are shit, they profit off paying their employees poverty wages and stuff like child labor in third-world countries.”

It was interesting hearing Gilda be so principled. On the surface, she seemed crass and didn’t seem to care about anything. Fluttershy enjoyed seeing a little more inside her mind. “I can agree with that. But earlier you said Dash and Zest’s parents were part of the system. What about me? I’m a manager in the music industry.”

“You’re a manager of _one_ band. And the way you do your job, you’re there to protect us as much as you can from the wolves in the industry that try to prey on us.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so highly of me. Not sure I agree with that part as much.”

“That’s because you’re too hard on yourself.”

“Dash says the same thing.”

“I never said she isn’t right about some things.”

The drive into town was more fun than Fluttershy expected. She went back and forth with Gilda about her punk ideologies and how she fit into it all, and she found she agreed with most of what Gilda was saying.

The shop they went to was small and tucked away in a downtown minimart, squished in between a small pizzeria and a shop that sold knickknacks. It didn’t look like much on the outside, and if she were walking past it, Fluttershy never would have given it a second look.

Heading inside, it didn’t exactly look much better. There weren’t any other customers and only one employee. She was dressed in ripped jeans and had studs on her leather jacket, and she smiled at them as they walked in. “Hey there, can I help you two find anything?”

“We’re trying to do a punk makeover for this one,” Gilda said, gesturing towards Fluttershy. “Got any ideas?”

She quirked her eye at Fluttershy. “You sure this is your scene, honey?”

Fluttershy wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Well, uhm…”

“We’re just trying something different out for her,” Gilda answered.

“Alright. Here, let’s see what we’ve got.”

The three of them looked through clothes and picked stuff out for Fluttershy to try. If the clerk had any doubts about it, she soon got over them. She offered as many suggestions as Gilda did, and did so more enthusiastically.

They decided on a black tank top with a denim jacket which didn’t have studs, but did have patches covering various parts of it. To go with it, they chose a pair of pants which seemed to be made of usable parts of two different pairs of pants, one faded black and the other faded red. All in all, it gave her a sort of patchwork look.

They picked out a few other outfits, but that was the one Fluttershy decided to wear out. In the end, there was just one thing that didn’t quite fit. “Dunno about that hair,” the clerk said.

“Maybe if we tied it back?” Gilda suggested.

“Or, uhm…” Fluttershy ran her fingers through it. They got caught on tangles she hadn’t bothered to brush out. “Maybe I could just… cut it.”

“You sure about that, Shy?” Gilda asked.

“It’s just hair,” Fluttershy said, as much to herself as to Gilda. “If I don’t like it, it’ll, uhm, grow back, right?”

“Well, yeah, but… I dunno, I always thought you must love your hair.”

In truth, she always did. Sort of. She hated maintaining it, especially in the past few years, and had often thought about cutting it shorter. She kept it long almost out of habit as much as anything.

She smiled at Gilda. “I think I’d like to get it cut shorter.”

“I think you’d look wicked with a fade,” the clerk said.

“A fade?” Fluttershy asked. “What’s that?”

Gilda snickered. “That might be a little too short. Look it up on your phone.”

Fluttershy did, and she noticed all the pictures were of men. She frowned, but then Gilda took her phone and specified ‘women’ in the search.

“Oh, some of them are pretty,” Fluttershy said. She could definitely see the appeal in it when it was on someone else. But on herself?

The sales clerk smiled. “Well, whatever you decide, I’ve got a place you can go.”

They followed the sales clerk to the checkout counter, and Fluttershy noticed a bunch of pins near the register. She looked through them and had to smile when she saw a Bitchette pin. She added it to her order, as well as another pin that had two interlocking female symbols, which she pinned to her new jacket as her debit card processed the payment.

The clerk wrote down the address of the stylist she went to, so they got another cab and took it across town. Fluttershy expected the driver to say something about her new outfit, but of course he didn’t. As far as he was concerned, he was just bringing a couple local punks across town. The thought made Fluttershy smile.

When they reached their destination, they found that the stylist turned out to be a simple barbershop. They went inside and found a casually dressed guy cutting another customer’s hair, so they took a seat. “Be with you two in just a moment.”

“Take your time,” Fluttershy said with a smile. She was a little surprised that nothing about the place looked punk in any way. As far as she could see, it was just a normal barbershop.

They waited for about fifteen minutes, listening to the radio play classic rock songs. Gilda didn’t seem to think anything of the fact that it seemed to be a normal barbershop, so Fluttershy didn’t say anything.

Once the other client was finished and on her way out, he turned to Fluttershy and Gilda. “So what can I do for you ladies today?”

“I… I’d like a haircut,” Fluttershy mumbled.

He smirked. “Don’t sound too sure about that.”

“She is,” Gilda said before Fluttershy could reply. “It’s talking to people when she’s not in boss bitch mode that she’s not sure of.”

“Gotcha. Well, come on up.”

Fluttershy stepped up to the chair and took a seat, and the barber put a cape on her. “I was thinking, uhm…”

“Do you really want a fade?” Gilda said doubtfully.

“Well, I did like them…”

“So we’re thinking short short?” the barber asked, to which Fluttershy nodded. He disappeared for a moment and came back with a book, which he flipped through and then handed to Fluttershy. “Here, take a look at some other short women’s styles. See if anything else sticks out to you, because it may grow back, but you’re gonna be living with it for a while yet.”

Fluttershy flipped through the book, and found she liked a lot of the short hairstyles more than she thought she would. It took a while and she had to get Gilda’s input on it, but she eventually settled on a sort of messy pixie cut.

They had to brush her hair first, which was a bit embarrassing. Once that was done though, the barber had her lean back and in a smooth move cut off the bulk of her hair.

Fluttershy had to fight to keep from crying. She wanted to do this, she did. She was young, and if there was a time to make decisions she’d regret, it was now. More to the point, she didn’t think she _would_ regret this decision. But even so, she had been growing her hair for so long, it was hard to not have mixed feelings about having it cut off.

“We can donate it, if that’ll help you feel better,” the barber said.

“Really?”

“Aye, for use in making wigs and stuff. They go out to cancer patients and the like.”

That did, in fact, make Fluttershy feel a lot better. It was yet another reason why this was a good idea for her.

“So, why the change?” the barber asked.

“Just trying something new out,” Fluttershy said.

“Hell of a change.”

Fluttershy giggled. “I guess it is.”

They kept talking, but Fluttershy didn’t notice much of what was said – even when she was the one who was talking. She was just too out of it by the whole experience.

At least it served to make it all go by faster. Hardly any time seemed to pass by the time the chair was turned around so she could see herself.

It left her breathless. She looked so different. Her hair had gone all the way down her back before, and now it barely reached her ears. She reached up her hand to run her fingers through it, and she was amazed at how short it felt.

“So, what’s the verdict?” the barber asked.

“I don’t know…” Fluttershy said. She moved her head to different positions to try and get a better feel for it. “Oh, I mean, it looks incredible! I’m just, uhm…”

The barber laughed. “It’s a big change.”

“You look amazing, Shy,” Gilda said. Fluttershy turned to look at her and saw she was grinning. “Rainbow is gonna flip.”

“Oh, shit…” Fluttershy hadn’t thought of that. What was Rainbow going to say? She laughed a moment later. “I… I think you’re right.”

Fluttershy paid the barber and they left the shop. Outside, Gilda threw an arm around Fluttershy’s shoulders. “I can’t believe you did that!”

“Me either.” Fluttershy smiled and was glad that since they were side by side, she had an excuse to not look Gilda in the eye. “I… I kind of want to do more.”

“Shy, you don’t want to be bald.”

Fluttershy laughed. “No, not my hair. Uhm, I meant like… maybe a piercing?”

“Whoa, okay, haircuts are one thing, but you want me to take you out to get needles shoved in you? Rainbow would kill me.”

“I mean… I _am_ her boss…”

Gilda burst into laughter and clapped Fluttershy on the back. “You’re really serious?”

“Well… yeah. I don’t mind the pain, and if I don’t like it, I can just take it out and let the hole heal up.”

“This is wild. Rainbow is going to flip shit.”

That was the common thread of conversation as they made their way through another cab to another shop – a tattoo and piercing parlor.

This was a familiar place to Fluttershy. She had gotten two tattoos at different times – a sun on one shoulder and Bitchette’s logo on the other – and she had pierced her ears. This time, she thought she’d get something a little more extreme.

“Do your nipple!” Gilda said as they looked through options.

Fluttershy laughed. “I’m _not_ getting my nipple pierced. Maybe my eyebrow, like Lemon Zest?”

“Hey, it’s your face.”

Fluttershy nodded and turned to the piercer. “I’ll do my eyebrow.”

She sat in the chair just like she had when she had gotten her ears pierced. That was her only piercing, but she wasn’t worried about this part; her hair had been a much bigger deal to her.

It hurt more than she expected, but then, she only had her pierced ears from years ago as a reference point. Still, it wasn’t anything she couldn’t take, and she liked the result. It was just a simple barbell on the outside of her eyebrow, but it was just the accent she needed to complete the look.

“Shit, we’re already here.” Gilda took off her jacket and T-shirt, stripping down to her bra. It was the first time that Fluttershy had seen so much of Gilda’s skin, and she found that she already had a lot of tattoos. “I’ve been meaning to get this done for a while now. Let’s get me a Bitchette tattoo on my shoulder blade.

The space wasn’t a random choice, it was where she had some bare skin to fill in. On her right shoulder, she had a griffon and falling feathers trailed down her arm. Her left arm had vines and flowers growing over it.

“Interesting tattoos,” Fluttershy said.

“Thanks. Right’s for my dad. Don’t know what his thing with griffons is, but he loves them. Left is my mom, who had to give up her flower garden when we moved.”

Fluttershy frowned, remembering Windfall mentioning that. “Back in middle school, right?”

“Yeah. Dad lost his job, Mom couldn’t support us. We could’ve been out on the street, but my uncle helped us get a shitty little apartment.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds tough.”

“Yeah, well… They won’t be living there long. The first thing I’m doing with my money is buying them a fucking house.”

“With a garden?” Fluttershy asked.

“Hell yeah with a garden! What kind of daughter do you think I am?”

Fluttershy smiled. “The best kind.”

It was refreshing to hear how close Gilda was with her parents. Fluttershy didn’t have any parents of her own, of course, and Rainbow had always had a strained relationship with hers. Lemon Zest and Windfall both thought highly of their parents, but they never talked about them like Gilda talked about hers. She didn’t seem to care about looking soft or anything of the sort; Gilda loved her parents and wanted everyone to know.

Gilda had no problem talking about them more as she got her tattoo. Fluttershy took off her jacket so that the artist could use her Bitchette tattoo as a reference point. Fluttershy didn’t usually like showing off her tattoos – or rather, her sun tattoo – but she felt pretty good about it this time around.

“What do you think?” the artist asked once it was all done.

Gilda craned her neck to try and see it in a mirror, but Fluttershy just laughed and took a picture with her phone. “It looks great,” Gilda said, with Fluttershy echoing the sentiment.

“Now unless we’re getting you another tattoo while we’re at it,” Gilda said with a smirk, “I think we should head back.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Fluttershy agreed. She was kind of excited to see what everyone else would say, even if she was a bit nervous about Rainbow’s reaction.

They caught one more cab back to the hotel, and texted the band on the way to be out in the lobby waiting. They figured they could all celebrate Fluttershy’s new look by going out for lunch. And, of course, it wasn’t like they had any food in their hotel rooms anyway.

“Here it comes,” Gilda said as they stood outside of the hotel. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Fluttershy said, although she was smiling.

Gilda held open the door, so Fluttershy stepped in. Windfall noticed her first. Or rather, he glanced up at her first, then he simply turned away. A moment later, he did a double-take, looking up and blinking. “Holy shit.”

Fluttershy giggled, and both Lemon Zest and Rainbow noticed her as well. Rainbow was stunned speechless, but Lemon Zest ran over to her. “Dude! What the fuck, you look so good!”

“Thank you.” Fluttershy beamed.

“Yeah, wow.” Windfall laughed. “I didn’t even recognize you for a minute.”

Rainbow continued to stare. “Shy, you…”

“Is that a piercing?” Lemon Zest asked. “No shit, we match! That’s so awesome!”

“Love the hair,” Windfall said. “And just, like, everything. You really look like one of us now.”

“Shy… did… did Gilda put you up to this?” Rainbow asked, staring directly at Gilda.

“No,” Fluttershy said sharply. “Gilda helped me because I said I wanted to. It was all my idea, she just helped me decide on what to do.”

“Most of it,” Gilda said with a shrug. “I wanted her to get a nipple piercing.”

“Oh, ow.” Lemon Zest grabbed her boobs. “Why would you do that?”

Gilda snickered. “I mean, I’d do it if Dash does.”

Rainbow walked over to Fluttershy as if she was in a daze. She gingerly reached her hand up to Fluttershy’s hair, but stopped short of touching it. “But… why would you…?”

“Because I don’t like myself, Dash.”

“Shy –”

“I don’t. Maybe I should, but I don’t. So… I wanted to reinvent myself. And I don’t know if I’ll like this me, but I wanted to try.”

Lemon Zest cupped her hand around Fluttershy and squeezed. Windfall smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hopefully this helps you see the you that we do.”

Fluttershy smiled back, then she turned to Rainbow. She frowned when she saw Rainbow was still looking at her like she was injured. “Dash, it’s hair for goodness sake. It’ll grow back.”

“I… I guess.”

“Now, I’m gonna drop these other clothes we bought off in my room, then we can get going.”

“Sounds good,” Windfall said. He nudged Rainbow. “I’ll try to get Dash to snap out of it.”

Fluttershy nodded, then took the elevator up to her room. She let out a sigh when she was alone in the elevator, though she wasn’t sure if it was out of frustration with Rainbow, exhaustion from a busy day, or contentment with herself for making a change.

The elevator reached her floor, and she went to her room. She unceremoniously tossed her new and old clothes onto her bed, then she took the time to go into the bathroom and look in the mirror.

She smiled at her reflection and ran her hand through her hair again. She wasn’t quite sure what she felt when she looked at herself. She supposed it didn’t feel like she was looking at herself at all.

But then, that was the point. Fluttershy wouldn’t do the things she did, and yet, she had done them. It was all to be a new Fluttershy, a better Fluttershy.

If she didn’t like herself, she would just be someone else.


	6. No Other Feeling

#### Chapter Six

## No Other Feeling

Ever since Bitchette had started touring across the country, they had learned to deal with crowds. No, deal with wasn’t right. They loved the crowds. Even Fluttershy, who was never cheered for, found the cheer of the audience gave a rush like nothing else ever could.

But despite that, there was another pleasure that was almost as good, especially with how rare it was. No matter where they went, no matter what they saw, no other feeling was ever quite like coming home.

It was only for a few days, Everton was just a stop on the tour, but it was time for them to see their friends and family.

And, of course, that meant their show had to be it’s very best. Fluttershy watched it from the audience because that’s where her friends were, and she didn’t regret it. She’d be lying if she said she felt excited to hear the same songs every night, but hearing them tonight, sitting with Applejack beside her on the right and Pinkie clinging to her left arm, she felt their excitement and how much extra the band put into this performance for their hometown.

“Thank you all for coming out!” Rainbow said after they wrapped up their encore. They were coming to a point in their career that it seemed to be expected that they’d perform an encore, and there was no way in hell that they’d miss one for their hometown.

“We’ve played all over this country, but nowhere compares to right here in Everton!” Rainbow announced. The audience cheered. “We only wish we could do more for our hometown. But just for you all, we’re gonna be running our own merch table tonight! So come down to get some shit or just to say hey, we’ll be there!”

“Guess that’s our cue to head over that way before the mob does?” Applejack asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “Let’s go.”

She got up, and Pinkie shifted from holding onto Fluttershy’s arm to holding her hand. It was Pinkie’s usual behavior around Fluttershy. They didn’t see each other often, but when they did, she could always expect Pinkie to cling to her as if she might disappear again any second.

Along with Applejack and Pinkie, they had shown up with Pinkie’s sisters. Fluttershy didn’t expect the show to be Maud or Marble’s kind of music, but they seemed to enjoy themselves enough. Limestone, on the other hand, had gone absolutely wild when Bitchette came on. She disappeared into the mosh pit, then they saw her half an hour later crowd surfing. It was anyone’s guess where she was now.

They’d find her sooner or later. For now, they moved through the crowd to the merch table. They reached it before the band did, though there were already some fans around. Two roadies were helping set up the table display, so Fluttershy gave them a hand.

Since there still wasn’t any sign of the band when they finished, Fluttershy took a seat and smiled at the fans. “The band will be here soon for anyone who wants to wait for them. In the meantime, I can help anyone who wants to buy something.”

No one seemed to want to buy anything until the band showed up, but eventually, a girl with hair as short as Fluttershy’s stepped up. She had brown skin and lighter brown hair, and she looked like she was a few years younger than Fluttershy.

Fluttershy exchanged her awkward smile for a warm one. “How can I help you?”

“Uhm, well…” She shifted in place. “Are you Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy blinked. No one ever recognized her, she must have known this girl from somewhere. They _were_ back in Everton, after all. “I am. I’m sorry, but I can’t place where I know you from.”

“Oh, you don’t. I just, er, recognize you from the CD booklets.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy blinked again. Someone _did_ recognize her. That had never happened before. “I’m surprised you recognized me.”

“Yeah, well, Broken Mirror is my favorite song, like, ever.”

Ah, that made a little more sense. It was obvious at a glance that she was a lesbian, she must be one of the many gay fans Fluttershy’s lyrics had earned them. Still, to actually be noticed… “I’m sorry.” Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s just this has never happened to me before.”

“I also know you produced all of Bitchette’s songs.” The girl smiled a little more genuinely. “And wrote some other songs with them.”

“Yes, I did.”

Suddenly, the girl frowned a little. “I’m sorry, I hope I’m not being weird.”

“Of course you’re not!” Pinkie said before Fluttershy could. “Fluttershy is super awesome, and it’s really cool that someone can see that!”

“In that case, uhm, if it’s not too weird, can I get your autograph?”

Fluttershy blinked yet again. It seemed to be the only response she could come up with for everything this girl said.

“I think ya broke her,” Applejack said with a smirk.

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, uhm, of course you can.”

The girl chose to buy Bitchette’s second album on vinyl even though she said she already had the digital version. Although Fluttershy had never signed an album for a fan, she had practiced her signature many times on legal forms for the band.

“Can you make it out to Amber Glow?” the girl asked.

“Of course.” Fluttershy wrote ‘To Amber Glow with love, Fluttershy’ and handed the album to her. “The rest of the band should be here soon if you –”

“We should be here now,” Gilda said as Rainbow pulled up a seat beside Fluttershy.

“This is Amber Glow,” Fluttershy said to the band. “She was just asking for my autograph.”

“Really?” Rainbow asked. “That’s awesome!”

“About time too,” Lemon Zest added.

“Yeah, well, gimme that.” Gilda held her hand out to Amber and smirked. “Might as well get the whole set.”

Amber handed Gilda the record, so she signed it as well. It was nice that it was on vinyl, as it gave them all plenty of room to sign it.

After Rainbow signed the album slightly larger than Gilda had, Applejack took a picture of Amber with the band, and she exchanged email addresses with Fluttershy. On any other night, Fluttershy would have invited her backstage, but tonight was about her friends. It was probably for the best; Fluttershy wasn’t exactly sure how old Amber was and the last thing she needed was to hook up with someone who was underage.

At least Amber left with stars in her eyes. Their group was already big enough, anyway. It did seem like it was about to get a little smaller, however. “I think I should get Marble home,” Maud said. She and Marble had been on the sidelines, with Marble herself mostly looking down at the floor. “Thank you for inviting us, Pinkie.”

“Aww, okay.” Pinkie hugged her sisters. “Thank you both for coming!”

“Hope you enjoyed the show!” Rainbow said.

Marble nodded and Fluttershy was pretty sure she said “Mhm,” but it was hard to hear over the sound of the crowd.

“I also had fun,” Maud said unenthusiastically. Fluttershy knew better than to expect any other response though. She would just have to take their word for it, in the end.

“Of course they did!” Pinkie said. “Everyone in my family just _loves_ rock!”

Marble and Maud waved to the others, then they made their way into the crowd.

Meanwhile, the band quickly found out they couldn’t give each fan much attention and run the merch booth, so Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Applejack took to running the booth while the band signed autographs and took pictures with fans. The system they worked out was still on the slow side, but it was better than the band trying to run the table themselves.

It took ages to get through everyone, but Fluttershy didn’t mind. It was fun, and it gave them a way to be closer to their hometown fans than they usually were elsewhere.

As the crowd thinned out, they also got a couple surprise visitors, one of whom stood out more than the other. “Lightning Dust?” Fluttershy broke into a grin as she walked up. “And Flash, glad you made it.”

“Holy shit, Shy?” Lightning grinned as well. “Almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Fluttershy?” Flash asked. “Is that really you? What happened to your hair?”

Fluttershy giggled, though she doubted the sound could be heard by the others. “I decided to try a different look. I like it.”

“It’s cool, just… wow.” Flash shook his head and smiled. “I mean, it looks great.”

“Damn right it does,” Lightning said with a grin.

“Thanks.” Fluttershy ran a hand through her short hair. “Gilda helped me out with it.”

“Nice.”

“Why didn’t you come find me earlier?” Fluttershy asked.

Lightning shrugged. “Didn’t realize you’d be in the crowd.”

“Is that Dust?” Lemon Zest asked. “What the fuck are you doing on that side of the table? Get over here!”

Lightning chuckled. “Not in the band anymore, remember?”

“There’s no leaving this ride!” Lemon Zest said.

“And you know she won’t let up until you listen to her,” Windfall added. “Just get over here already, Dust.”

Whether because she wanted to or because she knew Windfall was right about Lemon Zest, Lightning ducked under the table to get to the others. “Too bad you weren’t here earlier,” Rainbow said. “Shy got her first autograph.”

Flash clapped her on the back. “Nice going!”

“What? Sweet!” Lightning Dust gave Fluttershy a high five.

“It was pretty cool,” Fluttershy said, still feeling a little starstruck by the whole thing.

Lightning Dust joined the others in signing autographs while Flash just stood off to the side and waited for everyone to finish. Whether because fans recognized her or because they didn’t realize she hadn’t been on stage, no one commented on Lightning’s sudden appearance.

Eventually Limestone found their way to them as well, apparently coming from the bar. She took a seat right on the merch table, which didn’t really matter with how they were selling out of stuff.

“So how much longer are we here for?” Limestone asked.

“Until all the fans get to see the band, silly,” Pinkie said.

She looked over at the band while they posed for a photo with a fan. “Think anyone would notice if I took one of their places?”

“I’m sure they would,” Pinkie said.

Fluttershy wasn’t so sure. “If you took Rainbow’s, yeah. The others…”

Limestone laughed. “We should totally try it!”

“That wouldn’t be nice,” Pinkie said with a frown.

“I think the fans deserve to meet the real band,” Fluttershy said. “Whether they’d know about it or not.”

“Tch, fine.” Limestone picked up one of their CDs and looked it over.

“What do you think everyone would say if they knew we all used to be in a band?” Applejack asked.

“Some of our more hardcore fans know about the Rainbooms. Not that I think anyone would recognize us from it.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Applejack glanced over to the band. “They ever get stopped on the street?”

“No, I don’t think we’re quite that big.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Applejack said. “Could you imagine how obnoxious that would be?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s probably best this way.”

“We ran out of another T-shirt design,” Pinkie informed them.

It wasn’t long before they ran out of just about everything. The timing was good at least, since the fans finally started thinning out. Fluttershy checked her phone and saw that it had taken over an hour.

Before they could finish greeting all the fans, the venue staff informed them they needed to empty the building so they could clean up. The band didn’t have to leave, but the fans did. Since they still had a few more fans to wrap things up with, they left the building. Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie, Limestone, and Flash stayed behind to put away the rest of the merch.

“So what now?” Limestone asked as they were wrapping up.

“We were going to go to Applejack’s,” Pinkie said. “But I can drop you off at home first.”

Limestone frowned. “They’re finally back in town and you’re just going to Applejack’s? Why not go out and party!?”

Pinkie shrugged. “We just wanted to hang out and catch up.”

“Lame. And here I was gonna tag along.”

“You still can.” Pinkie smiled. “Come on, come with us! It’ll be good for you to get out of the house for a bit!”

“You should both come,” Fluttershy said, smiling at Flash. She was looking forward to catching up with him. Although when it came down to it, she could take or leave Limestone, but she didn’t want to be rude to Pinkie’s sister.

“I’m down,” Flash said.

“To just go to Applejack’s house?” Limestone sighed.

“Aww, ya never seemed to mind when we do holidays together,” Applejack said, then she put a finger to her mouth in thought. “Well, ya don’t seem to mind more than ya mind everything else, at least.”

Limestone rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever, I’ll go.”

“Yay!” Pinkie threw her arms around her sister. “It’ll be fun, you’ll see!”

They boxed everything up and handed it off to roadies to pack away for the next show, then they went outside to find the band. It wasn’t hard, they were hanging out in front of the venue with the last few fans.

At least the weather was nice. It was still summer and the days were still hot, but the night was cool and refreshing. It would be a perfect night for hanging out at Sweet Apple Acres.

They split themselves between Pinkie’s minivan, Applejack’s truck, and Flash’s car. For her part, Fluttershy rode with Applejack.

“So how’s life in Everton?” Fluttershy asked as they pulled out into the street.

“Reckon it hasn’t changed much since y’all been gone.” Applejack looked over and grinned. “From the look of things, you’re the one with changes going on.”

Fluttershy smiled. She had fully expected her new look would come up in conversation with everyone. “Things aren’t that different, although I still don’t really know that life on tour can ever be described as ‘normal’.”

“So what got you to change up your look then?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “I guess I just got used to the style on everyone else, and I decided to try it out for myself. Figured if I don’t like it, I can just grow out my hair again and change my clothes.”

“And do ya like it?”

“I do.” Fluttershy smiled at her reflection. She was already debating another piercing. Maybe on her lip like Lightning, or her upper ear like Rainbow.

“Well, I can’t say I see what you see in it, but I’m glad it makes ya happy.”

Fluttershy giggled. “I don’t know, a punk rock Apple would be pretty cool.”

“Reckon I’ll pass on that.”

“But enough about me,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “How’s business going?”

Applejack filled her in on how things were going for Sweet Apple Acres as they drove. When Fluttershy had first left on tour, she was struggling to turn the business around, trying to remarket Sweet Apple Acres as a high-end organic brand to be able to cover the costs of running it the traditional way. She was glad to hear those efforts were starting to pay off. It wasn’t much, but the brand was starting to turn a profit again.

They reached the orchard before Applejack had time to get into the finer details of everything, but the big picture sounded good. It was about time things started working out for someone other than her and Rainbow.

The lights of the farmhouse were off, but the outside lights were on. Applejack and Fluttershy made their way to the backyard, waving to Pinkie and Flash’s groups to follow. They set to gathering extra lawn chairs and placing them around the picnic table so that everyone could have a place to sit.

By the time they finished, everyone was back there. “Someone want to come help me get drinks?” Applejack asked. “We gotta be quiet ‘bout it though, since everyone else is asleep by now.”

“I’ll help,” Fluttershy offered.

“Me too!” Pinkie said.

The three of them went into the cellar as quietly as they could. Applejack got them a cooler to help carry drinks and they loaded it up with soda and beer. There was some ice in the freezer, so they dumped it into the cooler as well. It wouldn’t be enough to keep their drinks cold for long, but it was late at night and most of the stores in the area would be closed, so it was what they had to work with.

They brought the cooler back out and found people had already started breaking into smaller groups to talk. Windfall and Lemon Zest were talking with Lightning Dust, no doubt filling her in on how the tour was going. Rainbow and Flash were together, as were Gilda and Limestone. Fluttershy wasn’t sure what the latter pairing was talking about, but they both sounded equally gruff with whatever it was.

Fluttershy chose to join Lightning Dust’s group first, bringing over an armful of beer cans for everyone. “Hey, Shy,” Lemon Zest said. “We were just asking about Dust’s new band.”

“Not much of a band yet,” Dust said. “I’ve been working on some songs myself, just guitar and bass, and I think I’m getting ready to knuckle down and look for a band.”

“That’s great.” Fluttershy smiled as she opened her own beer. “I’m really excited to hear what you come up with.”

“Yeah, just gotta find the right people I guess.” Lightning sipped on her beer. “I was kinda thinking I might sing and play bass.”

“You totally should,” Lemon Zest said. “You rocked on _Your Impatience_.”

“It’ll probably be a lot easier to find musicians,” Windfall said. “You’re a bit more known now, you know? People are going to expect your band to be good because of your reputation.”

“Have any suggestions on who recruit?” Lightning Dust asked him. “You got plenty of bassists to audition for Bitchette.”

Windfall nodded. “I know a few people. Think Gilda knows some musicians in the area too.”

“I, uhm, may know a guitarist,” Fluttershy said. “Although I don’t know if he’s available.”

“Who is it?” Lightning asked.

Fluttershy glanced over towards the others. “Flash is really good. We did try getting him in Bitchette for a long time.”

“You think he’s gonna be free now?” Lightning asked.

“I think it’s worth asking him,” Fluttershy said.

“Can’t hurt.” Lemon Zest gave Lightning Dust a push towards him. “Go get in there before he’s too drunk to answer!”

That didn’t seem likely since Flash was only drinking soda, but there was no time like the present. “Come on,” Fluttershy said. “We can ask him together.”

Fluttershy and Lightning walked over to Flash and Rainbow, who were talking about Flash’s studies as a music theory major. “Think you’ll put it to good use?” Rainbow asked.

“I think so. Maybe as a record producer, or doing soundtrack work or something.”

“How does lead guitarist sound?” Lightning asked with a grin. “I’m looking to get a new band started.”

“This sounds familiar,” Flash said.

“Yeah, but _this_ band will be way better,” Lightning said. “Plus like, I have weight behind my name now. And with Shy’s help, I’m pretty sure we can snag a record deal pretty easily.”

Fluttershy _had_ offered to help, but she wasn’t sure how much weight her input would really have. That said, she did want to help Lightning look good. “No better way to rack up some experience in the industry.”

“I’ll… think about it. I always really wanted to finish school, you know?”

Lightning shrugged. “Not like I have a band ready to go or anything. You’re the first person I’ve talked to about it.”

“You could always join for now and then bail if it conflicts with school too much,” Rainbow pointed out. “You’ll have to get a whole band together, write songs, rehearse, start playing locally… It’ll probably be a while before you have to make a decision between school and the band.”

Flash smiled. “It could be fun. Here, give me your number and I’ll let you know after I’ve given it some more thought.”

Flash and Lightning exchanged numbers. Fluttershy hoped it would work out with them. Flash was a great guy and it would be nice to know Lightning had someone like him in her band.

While the two of them talked shop, Gilda came over to grab a drink from the cooler. Once she did, she didn’t go back to Limestone, however. Instead she walked over to Fluttershy and gestured away from everyone else.

Confused, Fluttershy followed after Gilda. They walked a little ways away before Gilda stopped, and she glanced over at Limestone.

“What’s up?” Fluttershy asked.

“So, uh… You know Limestone right?”

“A little. Pinkie’s an old friend of mine, but I’ve only met her sisters a few times.”

“Shit.”

Fluttershy frowned as Gilda shifted uncomfortably. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just…” Gilda took a deep breath. “Remember what we talked about a couple weeks ago?”

“Uhm…”

“About, you know, girls?”

“Oh!” Fluttershy smiled, remembering Gilda’s uncertainty about her sexuality. “Gilda, do you have a thing for Limestone?”

“Shh, not so loud!” Gilda said despite the fact that Fluttershy had been quite quiet. “I just, you know, was hoping you might know if she likes girls.”

Fluttershy glanced over at Limestone, who was standing irritably by herself. She may not see what Gilda saw in her, but she did want to help. “I don’t know, but I know who would.”

“Wait, you’re not going to ask her sister are you?” Gilda asked, but Fluttershy was already walking away. “Shy. Shy!”

Fluttershy walked up to Pinkie, who was talking with Lemon Zest and Windfall. “Uhm, Pinkie? Can I ask you something?”

“Silly Shyshy, you can ask me anything!” Pinkie beamed, but showed no inclination of going somewhere more private.

Thankfully, Windfall noticed and took Lemon Zest by the arm. “Zest, we should go check in on Dash.”

“Uh, sure,” Lemon Zest said, letting herself be guided along.

Fluttershy smiled appreciatively, then turned to Pinkie. “Uhm, so I was wondering, is Limestone into girls?”

Pinkie’s mouth fell open for a second, then she threw her arms around Fluttershy. “Oh, you two would be so cute together!”

“Uhm, I’m asking for a friend…”

“Right,” Pinkie said in a tone that suggested she didn’t believe it for a second.

“Really, Pinkie, I…” Fluttershy shook her head. If everything went well, Pinkie would see for herself soon enough. “I just… wanted to know.”

“She is,” Pinkie said in a singsong voice.

Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Pinkie. But uhm, please don’t tell anyone I was asking.”

Pinkie made a zipping motion across her lips, then mimed throwing away the zipper. She flashed a thumbs up, so Fluttershy nodded and returned to Gilda.

Gilda wasted no time in telling Fluttershy off. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Oh, so you don’t want to know what I found out?”

Gilda blushed. “Fine. What’d she say?”

Fluttershy looked back to Limestone, who was looking at Gilda. As soon as she saw Fluttershy noticed, she turned away. Fluttershy turned back to Gilda. “I think you should go for it. She does like girls, and if I’m right, I think she feels the same way about you.”

Gilda swallowed. “Okay. So, uh… what do I say?”

“Remember what I told you? Don’t worry about it going wrong, because in a few days, we’ll be back on tour.”

“Right.”

“So then you can just ask her if she’d like to go to your place when we leave here. That’s usually what I do.”

“I don’t have my own place though,” Gilda said. “Shitty one bedroom apartment for me and my parents, remember?”

“Oh.” Fluttershy didn’t know Gilda hadn’t ever moved out of her parents’ apartment. And Fluttershy didn’t have a house either, so she couldn’t offer her place for Gilda to use. “Maybe she has her own place now? I know before she lived with the rest of her family, though…”

Gilda sighed. “I mean, I could rent us a hotel room, but that feels kind of… disrespectful?”

“How about you just let tonight be tonight?” Fluttershy suggested. “Just let it happen. For now, just go talk to her. If you see an opportunity to flirt, take it.”

“Right.” Gilda nodded. “Just see what happens…”

Gilda made no move to leave, so Fluttershy did it for her. She stepped behind Gilda and gave her a push, which got her going.

As Gilda walked on back to Limestone, Fluttershy saw that Rainbow and Applejack had got together, so she made to join them.

“So how’s Apple Bloom?” Rainbow asked as Fluttershy was walking over.

“Doin’ good,” Applejack answered. “Still dating Trail Blazer. I gotta say I had my doubts, but they seem to be doin’ alright together.”

“Cool,” Rainbow said.

“So what about you two?” Applejack asked knowingly. “Either of you settled in with anyone yet?”

Fluttershy and Rainbow looked at each other. “I don’t think either of us are the settling down types,” Rainbow said.

“I guess I might be,” Fluttershy said. “If we weren’t on tour all the time.”

“Suppose that does make things a bit hard,” Applejack said.

“And what about _you,_ ” Rainbow asked with a smirk. “What’s your excuse?”

“Y’all know how busy I am.”

“Hasn’t stopped Apple Bloom or Big Mac,” Fluttershy said slyly.

“Oh! I haven’t told y’all yet!” Applejack beamed. “Big Mac and Sugar Belle are gettin’ hitched!”

Rainbow grinned. “Wow, really? That’s awesome!”

“You’ll have to tell them congrats from us,” Fluttershy said. “How long ago did they get engaged?”

“Bout a month now, maybe a little more. No idea when the wedding is gonna be yet, they’re tryin’ to get it all sorted still.”

“Geez, I can’t imagine actually settling down and getting married,” Rainbow said. She nudged Fluttershy. “Gotta stay free, am I right?”

Fluttershy smiled and nodded, even though it didn’t feel like so long ago that she would have been thrilled at the idea of getting married.

“They got a little place together already,” Applejack said. “We all saw this comin’ a mile away, but we’re still plum proud of the two of them.”

“It must be weird without Big Mac at home,” Fluttershy said.

Applejack nodded. “A bit, yeah.”

Marriage. It really hadn’t been all that long ago. And yet, it had been a lifetime ago.

“So, uhm…” Fluttershy looked back at the party and saw everyone was preoccupied with their own conversations. “How’s Sunset doing?”

Applejack took a sip of her drink and didn’t meet Fluttershy’s eyes as she answered. “She’s good. Her relationship’s going strong, and she’s still sober.”

It was so strange to hear Sunset was sober. She had been the one who got Fluttershy to start drinking, after all. When Fluttershy looked back on their relationship, sometimes it felt like one long wine binge.

And, of course, it was only when she got away from Fluttershy that she was able to get sober. “That’s great,” Fluttershy said. “Really, I’m glad to hear things are going well for her.”

“Ya know…” Applejack adjusted her hat. “She’d really love to see ya sometime.”

“I… I don’t think I want to. Not yet.”

“It’s been years, Shy,” Applejack said.

“Sunset isn’t as great as you think she is.” Rainbow folded her arms.

“Dash, ya ain’t even spoke to her in two years.”

“Whatever. I’m going back to the others.” Rainbow walked away, leaving Applejack and Fluttershy alone.

“Sorry about Dash… She’s just…” Fluttershy wasn’t even sure what excuse she could use with Applejack.

“I ain’t worried about Rainbow,” Applejack said with a shrug. “I dunno if she’s ever gonna come around. But you know, I really thought you’d want to, I don’t know… bury the hatchet?”

“I’m not angry with her,” Fluttershy said. “I’m just… I want to move on.”

Applejack was quiet for a moment, until she eventually sighed. “Fine. Do ya maybe at least want to visit Sk–”

“No.” Fluttershy pursed her lips.

Applejack stared at her, finally seeming to be at a loss for words.

Before Fluttershy could work up an apology, Pinkie popped up from somewhere behind her and threw her arms around Fluttershy. “So I take it your _friend_ is enjoying herself?”

Fluttershy smiled. “Pinkie, you said you wouldn’t mention anything.”

“Hmm? I was just saying it’s a fun party.”

Fluttershy laughed and shook her head, then looked over to where Gilda and Limestone were sitting side by side, trying not to look at each other as they scooted slightly closer. “I think she is.”

“What’s this about a friend now?” Applejack asked.

“Nothing,” Fluttershy and Pinkie said together, then laughed.

At Pinkie’s insistence, Fluttershy and Applejack joined the others. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and they steadily worked their way through the beer. The soda lasted a little longer, as it was primarily drank by Pinkie and Flash, the group’s designated drivers.

Eventually, Limestone and Gilda joined the others. “The two of us are gonna head out,” Gilda said.

“Oh, together?” Pinkie said with a grin.

“We’re just sharing a cab!” Limestone said definitively, although everyone knew that if they wanted to, they could just head out with Pinkie.

“I should get heading out too,” Flash said. “I can give you both a ride.”

Gilda and Limestone both looked angrily away from everyone.

“Is it to one house or two though?” Pinkie asked.

“Pinkie!” Limestone glared at her sister.

Pinkie just shrugged. “Just saying that maybe Gilda would be more comfortable crashing at your house, Limey.”

Gilda scratched awkwardly at her neck. “Well, I do normally sleep on a couch, so…”

“Fine,” Limestone said as if this was a huge inconvenience for her. “I _guess_ you can come home with me.”

“Yeah, well, whatever.” Gilda folded her arms and looked off to the side.

“Have fun you two!” Pinkie called, with the rest of Bitchette joining in on the cheers.

“Anyone else want a ride?” Flash asked.

“I’ll take one,” Lightning said. “Might as well take the front seat so these two have the chance to sit in the back together.”

Both Gilda and Limestone started sputtering excuses about how wrong everyone was, but the two of them walked back to Flash’s car side by side.

The rest of the group condensed to the picnic table, which Lemon Zest made room on by sitting on the table itself. They talked about Limestone and Gilda and how they were oddly perfect for one another, and no one seemed to notice Fluttershy slipping off into the night.

This all was nice, but it wasn’t really part of Fluttershy’s world anymore. Hanging out with friends, talking about young love and engagements. It was like stepping through a mirror into an older part of her life, and it dragged up feelings she wished could just stay buried forever.

So she wandered off by herself, walking along the side of the road. She just needed to clear her head. Some time away from the others to get herself sorted. That was all this was.

She stopped when she came up to a grave surrounded by flowers. She frowned as she looked at it. She hadn’t meant to come here. That’s what she told herself, that she was just walking aimlessly and wound up here. She didn’t believe it, but it helped to lie sometimes.

A few years ago, she would have knelt down at the grave. She would have cried. She would have felt overcome with emotion. Now she felt hollow. Everything she had done for the past two years had been to change into a person who didn’t hurt anymore.

And she had succeeded. But what was left of her now? Was there even anything left of the girl who had once cared about everything so much that it had hurt?

She felt an arm wrap around hers and she didn’t need to look to see who it was. “I just needed to clear my head,” Fluttershy said.

“I know,” Pinkie answered softly. “Is it working?”

“No. It never does anymore.”

“It’s okay, Shy.” Pinkie leaned her head against Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I heard what you said to Applejack, but… it’s okay to talk about her.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Is that really how you feel?”

Fluttershy knew that Pinkie was looking up at her, trying to look her in the eyes. She knew, but she refused to comply. “I don’t know.”

“I still think of her a lot, too,” Pinkie said. “And I help Applejack and Sunset tend to the flowers.”

“Sunset comes…” Fluttershy frowned.

“Sunset still comes by to see her from time to time. Even now.”

Fluttershy quirked her face into a strange smile. “I bet her girlfriends just love that. Still hung up on someone else’s kid.”

“They’re not like that,” Pinkie said. “They both understand what Sky means to her.”

Fluttershy winced at the name, like she always did. “I should have had an abortion.”

“What?” Pinkie backed up a little.

Fluttershy let out a small laugh. “I was so young and stupid. If something like that happened now, I would just get an abortion. I wasn’t ready for a kid, and neither was Sunset. It was the worst situation we could have been in! If anything we were lucky that –”

Fluttershy’s words caught in her throat, as did something else. No. She didn’t hurt anymore. She wouldn’t _let_ herself hurt, not anymore. If being hollow was all she could be, then that was what she would be. No other feelings.

“You don’t mean that,” Pinkie said softly, as if she were consoling a small child. “I know you don’t.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Maybe not all of it. Come on, I don’t want anyone else to notice where I am.”

“Shy…” Pinkie followed after her when Fluttershy walked away. “It’s okay to talk about it.”

“No,” Fluttershy said. “It isn’t.”

Fluttershy pulled her arm away from Pinkie and rejoined the others. Windfall and Applejack were arm wrestling, and Applejack was winning effortlessly. Fluttershy smiled joined the others when they poked some lighthearted fun at Windfall, and she did not hurt anymore.


	7. Growing Up

#### Chapter Seven

## Growing Up

Few things lasted for a band on tour. At most, they could stay in one place for a couple of days at a time, and then it was onto the next city.

And so it was with the band’s time at Everton. Fluttershy had managed to get them a whole day off in their hometown before they had to leave it, but they did indeed have to leave it. Rainbow climbed onto the bus, waving goodbye to her friends and family.

Then the door shut, she took a seat, and it was ever onwards. It was Friday morning, and they had to drive several hours to get to their next stop by night time. It was a tight schedule, but they had opted for that instead of driving overnight to give everyone a little more time with their families.

“Always hard to leave home,” Lemon Zest said with a sigh. “How long until we’re back again?”

“Three more months,” Fluttershy said. “That’ll end this leg of the tour, then we’ll have two weeks off before starting the next part.”

“Two whole weeks,” Windfall said. “What will I even do with myself?”

“Guess it doesn’t really get easier…” Gilda said.

Fluttershy smiled at her. “It does get easier, but some days are still hard. This is one of them.”

“Well, I’m ready for it,” Rainbow said, propping her feet up on the empty seat across from her. She put her hands behind her head and wore a cocky grin. “Sure, it was nice to see everyone, but what I _really_ want to see is tonight’s crowd!”

“Easy for you to say.” Windfall frowned. “You’re lead singer _and_ lead guitarist. It’s you they’re cheering for, and you know it.”

“Come on, no ‘I’ in team, right?” Rainbow said. “We couldn’t do this without all of us.”

“Rainbow’s right,” Fluttershy said. “You know you’re all important parts of this band.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Windfall leaned back and closed his eyes. “I was just up late last night and didn’t want to get up this morning.”

“Take a nap,” Lemon Zest said with a shrug. “No one’s stopping you.”

“Yeah, I think I will.” Windfall stood up and walked to the back of the bus where there were cots for them to sleep in.

Rainbow let out a yawn. “I might too in a bit.”

“Up late?” Lemon Zest asked.

“Nah, I just appreciate a good nap.”

Rainbow just sat back and watched as Lemon Zest flipped browsed through options until she got to a movie they could agree on. Once it was settled, she leaned against Fluttershy while she watched it. As usual, Rainbow had no idea what was going on with the two of them, but Fluttershy put her arm around Lemon Zest. Gilda was more preoccupied with doing something on her phone than with following the plot.

She didn’t really mean to fall asleep, but she had gotten too used to sleeping on tour busses and it was too early to want to be coherent. The next thing Rainbow was aware of was something small and soft hitting her face.

She blinked a few times, then looked down to see a few pieces of popcorn on her shirt. “The hell?”

Gilda laughed. She was holding a bag of popcorn. “Sleeping well, princess?”

Rainbow frowned and brushed herself off. “I wasn’t sleeping.”

“Yeah, you were,” Lemon Zest said. She was still lying on Fluttershy, who was stroking her hair. “You were snoring and everything.”

“That was why we were trying to get popcorn in your mouth,” Fluttershy said.

Rainbow grumbled and stood up. “You’re all bitches, you know that?”

“You’re just now noticing?” Lemon Zest said as she snickered.

Rainbow grumbled and made her way to the bus’s fridge. She grabbed herself a bottle of water and took it to the back room, placing a door between herself and the others.

The cots were oddly comforting. They were small and confined, separated with curtains so that they completely encased whoever was lying in them.

Rainbow didn’t climb into one, not right away. She instead leaned against a wall and took a sip of water. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to nap, but if the others were gonna be bitches…

She sighed and drank more of her water. To her surprise, Windfall answered her sigh. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Rainbow said. “Can’t sleep?”

“No.” One of the curtains opened up and Windfall looked out at Rainbow. He shimmied out of the cot to stand beside her. “Something wrong?”

“Not really.” Rainbow shook her head. “Alright, maybe a little.”

“I thought so. What happened?”

“It wasn’t so much that something happened, it’s just…” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Just seeing Lightning Dust the other night.”

Rainbow felt stupid saying it, and the surprised look Windfall gave her made her feel stupider. “You’re not still mad with her about leaving are you?”

“Aren’t you?” Rainbow knew the answer before she even asked the question.

“No,” Windfall said, just as Rainbow had expected him to. “She didn’t like the direction we were heading in. It wasn’t personal.”

“I know, but just…” Rainbow looked towards the other room, but there was a door separating them. “I can’t get used to Gilda being here. Everyone keeps saying that she’s changed, and I know she seems like she has, but…”

“But she’s not Lightning Dust,” Windfall finished for her.

“Yeah…”

Windfall folded his arms. “She’s never gonna be Dust, Dash.”

Rainbow winced at the finality in his tone. “I know that.”

“And it’s not her fault that Dust left.”

“I _know_.”

Windfall put his hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I miss her too, you know.”

“We started this band together!” Rainbow frowned. “And now Gilda’s signing albums Dust recorded with us.”

“She’s just trying to give the fans what they want.”

“Why do the fans want her!?” Rainbow shook her head and spoke more quietly. The last thing she needed was for Gilda to overhear her. “They don’t even care that Dust is gone, you know? I’ve looked around online, checked all the social media sites, no one even talks about the fact that Dust left. It’s all ‘oh, the new album is so different’ and no one puts it together that that’s _because_ of Dust!”

“Yeah. But that’s just because they weren’t there on the journey. They didn’t see what went into each of those songs.”

“Maybe they should.”

“Dash?”

Rainbow bowed her head. “I don’t know. Just wishful thinking, I guess.”

“Look, I gotta be honest. I wish I got more recognition sometimes too. I’m just the rhythm guitarist, so all our guitar stuff still gets credited to you.”

“Doesn’t it piss you off?” Rainbow scowled. “I don’t even want this, you know? Everyone looking at me, everyone thinking it’s all my songs and my decisions and everything being all about what I’m doing in the band.”

“I know you don’t.”

They were quiet for a moment, then Windfall slowly pulled Rainbow into a hug. “We’ll always know the truth, though.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Windfall let go of Rainbow and smiled. “Now, you come in here to sleep, or did you just miss me too much?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Getting to sleep will mean getting to the show that much faster. That’s one thing I’m not sick of, at least.”

“Well then better get your ass in bed then.”

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow climbed into one of the cots, then looked out to see Windfall doing the same. “Hey, Windfall?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

He chuckled. “No problem. But one of these days, you’re gonna have to learn to sort out your own messes.”

“Nah, I got you around for that.”

“Night, Dash.”

“Night, Windfall.”

Rainbow pulled the curtain closed and stared up at the ceiling. With the curtain closed, the cot was completely encased, a small little room all to herself.

While she lay in bed waiting for sleep, her mind kept wandering back to the person she started this band with. She wondered if Lightning Dust had gotten more recognition, if she’d still be around. And if that was why she left in the end, who would be next? Lemon Zest? Windfall?

Rainbow rolled over and chastised herself. She shouldn’t be thinking like that. Lemon Zest and Windfall were part of her Bitchette family, and they weren’t going anywhere. And for better or worse, so was Gilda now.

And Fluttershy, of course. At least that was one person Rainbow could always count on to be there. She knew better than to think that way, but it was true that everyone else might come and go. Not Fluttershy, though. She would always be there for Rainbow, just as Rainbow would always be there for Fluttershy.

* * *

Rainbow was still groggy as she wandered around backstage. The opening band was on stage, which gave Rainbow little to do but wait. She’d seen them perform from the audience several times, and while they were good, she wasn’t in the mood tonight.

So she wandered around aimlessly, trying to find something to do. She debated just heading back to the tour bus until it was time for them to go on stage, but she came across something that made her stop in her tracks – Fluttershy and Gilda going into the dressing room together.

There wasn’t anything suspicious about that, not really. Rainbow knew that, and she told herself to keep on walking. Leave it alone, because every attempt to do something more blew up in her face.

She told herself, but her legs still carried her over to the door. They had shut it behind them, so Rainbow placed her head against it to listen. She could hear voices, but no words.

That was for the best. She didn’t really want to eavesdrop on them. She trusted them, and she would…

She would need to stop kidding herself someday. She trusted Fluttershy, but Gilda? No way.

Rainbow opened the door, then acted surprised to see the others in there. “Oh, hey you two.”

“Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked with a frown. “What are you doing here?”

As far as she could tell, Gilda and Fluttershy had just been talking. “I was just trying to kill some time You know, just –”

“Just butting into someone else’s business.” Gilda turned and walked to the door, bumping Rainbow with her shoulder along the way.

“Hey, what gives?” Rainbow asked.

Gilda didn’t stop to answer though, just walking through the doorway and leaving Rainbow and Fluttershy alone.

“Rainbow…” Fluttershy balled her hands into fists. “What is wrong with you?”

“What!?” Rainbow’s mouth fell open. “What are you talking about? I’m just here to get ready for our act!”

“Gilda saw you when we entered,” Fluttershy said. “She knew you’d follow us in. I tried standing up for you, but… Well, look how that turned out.”

“I… I didn’t…” Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets and looked away.

“You can’t keep doing this!” Fluttershy said. “I wish you would see that Gilda isn’t doing anything wrong, but if you can’t… well, at least fucking act like you do.”

“I didn’t accuse her or anything!” Rainbow said desperately. “I just walked into a fucking room!”

“Because we were in here alone!” Fluttershy stamped her foot. “Because you don’t trust her with me!”

“It wasn’t that!”

“Then what was it?” Fluttershy asked. “Because please, I’d love to know why you keep acting this way. This is just like Sunset all over again.”

“I was _right_ about Sunset.”

“No, you weren’t!”

“Whatever. I’m just trying to look out for you, okay? Fine! You want to know, yeah, I saw Gilda bring you in here and I wanted to know why she needed to be alone with you.”

“Because she wanted advice with her new girlfriend.”

“Her what?”

“Come on, Dash, we all saw her leave with Limestone. Or can you not be bothered to care about anything in her life that can’t be used as evidence that she’s still out to get me?”

“I didn’t know they were dating!” Rainbow’s face was growing hot, but she ignored that in favor of getting more and more defensive. “I just saw them leave, how was I supposed to know that?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe by fucking asking her?” Fluttershy threw out her arms. “You could _try_ to get along with her, you know.”

Rainbow gritted her teeth. She was so tired of being nice about things only for it to blow up on her. If she was going to get blamed for saying something, she might as well say something worth getting blamed for. “Why should I? Why should any of us? Why are we parading around someone who hurt you and welcoming her in as part of the band?”

“Because we’re grown-ups now, Dash! At least the rest of us are. But you…” Fluttershy ran her hand through her hair, balling a clump of it up into her fist. “You just keep acting like the kid who’s afraid that there’s less love for her because someone new is in the picture.”

“That’s _not_ what I’m acting like.”

“That’s what it’s really starting to feel like!” Fluttershy shook her head and there were tears in her eyes. “First Sunset, now Gilda. You push people away when I try to get close to them.”

“No. No, that’s bullshit. Lightning Dust? Lemon Zest? Windfall? You’re close with all of them, and I’ve never tried to stop that.”

“Right, because it’s okay when they’re you’re friends too.”

“I was friends with Sunset.”

“And when you _were_ friends, you were okay with me being close to her! That’s the point, Sunset was fine until you stopped being her friend, then she needed to be out of my life.

“That’s fucking backwards and you know it! I stopped being friends with her because she was a bitch to you!”

“No, she wasn’t!” Fluttershy yelled. Rainbow had rarely heard Fluttershy actually yell, but this time she did. “I don’t need your god damn protection! I don’t need you to put me on a fucking pedestal! It doesn’t help me!”

“How am I putting you on a pedestal?”

“Because you refuse to even consider the ways I hurt Sunset too! I’m not perfect, Rainbow!”

“Like what?” Rainbow asked skeptically. “What did you do that was so bad that I ignored?”

“You always gave her shit for drinking, and you never cared when I did.”

“Because you didn’t have a problem!”

“How can you be so dense? I _still_ have a problem! I drink like every fucking day!”

“Yeah, but you do it, you know, responsibly. You don’t cause problems with it.”

“Argh! You’re infuriating!” Fluttershy looked at Rainbow and scowled, then took a deep breath. “I threw the glass.”

“What glass?”

“You know, the one thing you _never_ forgave Sunset for? That wasn’t her. It was me. She lied about it so you wouldn’t be mad at me.”

Rainbow shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would _you_ do something like that?”

“I don’t know! Because I was angry, I guess! I don’t even remember what we were fighting about!”

“Well…” Rainbow searched for something, anything she could say to make that better. “If you did something like that, then she probably deserved it.”

Fluttershy screamed. Then she crossed the room and grabbed Rainbow by the shirt. “Just admit that I can do things wrong! Because having this perfect version of myself always held over me that I can never live up to, it just makes me feel so much worse.”

“Shy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean –”

“No. Shut up. God damn it, Dash, I love you but I can’t keep doing this! You need to fix your shit, or I’m leaving.”

Rainbow blinked. She didn’t just say that. Fluttershy could _not_ have just said that. “You’re _what?_ ”

“You already cost me my girlfriend, the only person that’s ever made me happy. And now you’re pushing away more of my friends because you’re too insecure to admit that I’m not fucking perfect. So _fix_ your _shit_ or I’m going home.”

Fluttershy let go of Rainbow and walked out of the door. Rainbow just stood still, unable to move. That hadn’t happened. There was just no way that something like that could have happened. Especially not over Gilda of all people.

And yet somehow, it had. And now Rainbow had to do something about it, or else… or else Fluttershy was going to quit.

 _‘She can’t,’_ Rainbow told herself. _‘She’s just bluffing. She’s our manager, she can’t just leave us like this.’_

But Rainbow knew better. Sure, Fluttershy was their manager, but nothing said she always had to be. Hell, she could be their manager from back in Everton and hire a different tour manager.

She could still be bluffing, but Rainbow couldn’t feel good about banking on that. She stumbled backwards into the wall and leaned against it, leaning her head back until it clunked against the wall.

“What the fuck is wrong with me…”

There was no answer, of course. Rainbow sure as hell didn’t have one. Fluttershy seemed to, though. Had she been right? Was Rainbow just pushing people away from her?

She stumbled out of the room, dead set on finding Windfall. He’d know what to do, he was always there to keep Rainbow’s world grounded. Sure, he’d tell her it was her fault, but he’d be able to help put things into a perspective that she could understand.

She just had to find him. She ambled around backstage looking around for him, but she found no sign of anyone. So left the building, heading back for the tour bus.

Somehow she would have to perform on stage with her band soon. It wouldn’t be the first time that they’d had to put aside issues to perform, but no problem they’d had with each other had ever felt this big before. Certainly nothing had ever made Fluttershy threaten to quit.

Rainbow needed this settled. She needed Windfall’s advice, and then she needed to figure out a plan. She needed things to be right, god damn it, she _needed_ this to be okay.

She reached the tour bus and pulled open the door, stepping inside. She found Windfall there, as she had hoped, but he wasn’t alone.

Gilda sighed when she saw Rainbow. “Oh come on.”

She got up and tried to walk past Rainbow. “Gilda, wait.”

Gilda stopped and arched an eyebrow.

Rainbow had only a moment to think, Gilda or Windfall. She knew which of them she wanted to talk to, but running into Gilda here changed things. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Alright, fine.”

Windfall stood up and walked past Rainbow, heading out of the tour bus. Rainbow stood in awkward silence for a moment after he left, until Gilda eventually asked, “So what’s up?”

Rainbow took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I _did_ follow you into the room, and that was shitty of me.”

“Whatever.”

“No, not whatever! I’ve been a huge bitch to you since you joined this band, and I don’t want to be!”

Gilda turned away. “It’s fine.”

“It’s _not_. Look, I’m… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You said it, not me.”

Rainbow walked past Gilda to collapse into a seat. “Whenever Shy’s involved, I just get… I don’t know, overprotective.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I don’t want to be like this though!” Rainbow threw out her hands. “I know Shy trusts you, and she should! And so should I! I just…”

“Look, I get it.” Gilda leaned against the wall. “If anyone gets it, it’s me. You were the one who always had to look after Shy back in middle school. Probably high school too.”

Rainbow bowed her head. It was just like everyone kept telling her. “Yeah, but she doesn’t need me to look out for her anymore. Now I just make things worse.”

“Yeah, you do.” Gilda shrugged. “But it’s hard to get over things like that.”

“I don’t want things to be this way between us. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I… I don’t want to be the one who tries to protect Shy. Because… because she can do that herself now.”

“Well, it sounds like you have this figured out.”

Rainbow laughed. “No, I haven’t figured out shit. I just know I _want_ to change, I don’t know how.”

“Fair enough. Guess you gotta sort that out for yourself though.”

“Yeah…” Rainbow sighed. “You’re probably pretty sick of me.”

“Sick of your shit, yeah. But you? Nah, you’re cool.”

Rainbow looked up uncertainly. “Even after all the crap I’ve been giving you?”

“Yeah. I know it’s all looking out for Shy. Or trying to.”

Rainbow sighed. “I think… I think I really hurt her. Not just this time, but… probably lots of times. She said it’s my fault she lost her girlfriend.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah… And I’m just like… Shy broke up with her, you know? That wasn’t my decision. But then… it would have been. Maybe it really was my fault.”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But in my experience, things are usually more than one person’s fault.”

“I always thought that was all one person’s fault.” Rainbow thought for a minute then smiled. “Her name was Sunset Shimmer, and we used to be good friends.”

“Oh yeah?”

Rainbow took a seat. “To tell you the truth, back when they first got together, I thought the world of Sunset. She was helping Fluttershy, and she was doing so much for her. Then… I don’t know, things got bad. And maybe… maybe it was more complicated than it just being Sunset’s fault.”

“I think it probably was.”

“Probably…”

Gilda walked over to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. She sat down beside Rainbow and handed her one.

“So…” Rainbow said, searching for something to say. “You and Limestone?”

Gilda blushed, which looked so out of place on her that Rainbow couldn’t even find it in her to make fun of it. “I guess…”

“She cool with you going on tour and stuff?”

“Yeah, we decided we’re gonna try the long-distance thing while I’m gone. Meanwhile, we’re not worried about sex and stuff now. An open relationship kind of thing.”

“Huh. Guess that works out.”

“Yeah. Tell you the truth, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I agreed to it, but I’ve always wanted to just have one partner, you know?”

“You have a girl waiting for you and can have all the sex you want. Sounds pretty sweet.”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Are you ever gonna grow up?”

Rainbow chuckled. “Maybe someday. Not today though.”

“No, perish the thought.”

Rainbow chugged her water bottle, then crunched the bottle down and looked for a trash can to throw it into. There wasn’t one out in the open, so she had to get up and throw it in the pull out trash bin that the tour bus had.

She turned back to Gilda. “You ready to go back to the venue?”

“Yeah, alright.” Gilda stood up, and Rainbow followed as she led them out of the bus. “Hey, Dash?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Rainbow stopped walking and cocked her head to the side. “For what?”

Gilda stopped as well and looked Rainbow in the eye. After a moment she smirked and punched Rainbow on the shoulder. “For being such an easy target!”

Rainbow blinked, then Gilda started running. After a moment, Rainbow broke into a grin and ran after her. “Get back here! I’ll kick your ass, Gil!”

“Running that slow? Not likely!” Gilda shot back.

Rainbow laughed as she ran, which slowed her down, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t really trying to catch Gilda. All that mattered was that things were okay between them, and that things were going to stay that way.

~ End Act I ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we end Act I. I hope you’re enjoying things so far, because we’ve got two more acts to go!
> 
> And, as I like to do, here’s some end of act music for you! Think of it as like a special song at the end of a season finale if this were an animated TV show. If you’re not a fan of this sort of thing, feel free to skip it.
> 
> [Against Me! - All This (And More)](https://youtu.be/5hXUIgozbiY)


	8. Welcome to the Show

# Act II

# Duets

#### Chapter Eight

## Welcome to the Show

Everything changed just as it stayed the same. The band finished a leg of their tour, took time off to spend with their families over the holidays, recorded a couple music videos, then went back out on tour.

They’d certainly been busy, but ultimately, the tour was always there to return them to their brand of normality. Every night was a different city, but even so, this felt like home.

“Thank you all for coming out!” Rainbow said to the crowd after the band finished another encore. The audience cheered as they always did, so Rainbow raised her fist triumphantly before turning and walking backstage.

Once she was a safe distance away from the crowd, she set aside her guitar and rubbed her hands together. The heat from the stage lights helped keep them warm on stage, but it was an outdoor venue and it was early January. The tour was heading south, but they hadn’t quite gone far enough for it to not be freezing.

At least the heat was on backstage, so Rainbow started warming up. She saw Fluttershy was sitting on a couch and watching the news on TV. Rainbow took a seat beside her and smirked. “Anything big going on?”

“There’s a story about arson, but it wasn’t in this area,” Fluttershy said

Rainbow smirked. “Since when do you keep up with the news?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “Someone else had it on.”

_“…addition to the arson, several items may have been stolen. Police believe that the fire may have been to cover tracks of grand theft. If anyone has any information at all, please call the hotline on screen.”_

“So like, do we have the remote?” Rainbow asked. Fluttershy looked around for it then shrugged again.

“Look sharp, you two,” Lemon Zest said. “We got fans.”

Rainbow turned to smile at the fans that were beginning to enter the backstage area. “Hey, hope you all enjoyed the show!”

The usual choruses of fans assuring her that they had indeed enjoyed the show followed. Rainbow thrived off the sound; it was nice and routine, which was how she liked it. No shortage of people to remind her that no matter what else happened, this was all worth it.

“Well, it certainly was different,” a voice said that threw Rainbow off. She knew she recognized it from somewhere, and she knew it wasn’t good. “But I think your last band had more… harmony, perhaps?”

Rainbow looked around to find who had spoken, and her jaw dropped open when she saw who it was. “No…”

Adagio Dazzle laughed at the distress on Rainbow’s face. “My my, you _do_ remember. we were afraid you might have forgotten.”

“What are you doing here?” Rainbow asked, rising to her feet.

“I’ll get security,” Fluttershy said, standing up as well.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Adagio said with a smirk. She stood with her hand on her hip and looked every bit as sinister as they remembered her. “Believe it or not, I’m _not_ your enemy.”

“Bullshit!” Rainbow said.

“Do you two know her?” Lemon Zest asked. Gilda and Windfall also noticed what was going on and came over. Windfall stood beside Rainbow and Fluttershy, while Gilda stood in front of them protectively.

“Oh my, what a motley crew you’ve assembled.” Adagio grinned, clearly unintimidated. “Would you believe I’m here to talk?”

“Why should we listen to what you have to say?” Rainbow asked.

“Because there’s something worse than me out there. And because…” For the first time her composure cracked and she couldn’t look at them. She sighed. “We need your help.”

Rainbow and Fluttershy exchanged shocked looks. “What do you want from us?” Fluttershy asked.

Adagio pointed to the TV. “You’ve seen the news stories about the unexplained arsons and thefts? They’ve been happening in three states now.”

“Yeah, so?” Rainbow asked. “Don’t try to tell me you give a shit.”

“I do. No, not because I care about a little thing like fire and theft. But because of who’s causing it.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “And who is that?”

“It’s more of a what, actually.” Adagio took a step off to the side, seemingly examining a guitar. “Equestrian magic is behind this.”

“Oh fucking shit…” Lemon Zest took collapsed onto the couch.

“What?” Windfall asked. “Did she say… magic?”

Gilda scoffed and folded her arms. “Unless ‘Equestrian magic’ is some sort of street name for a drug, this girl’s a damn loon.”

“She’s not, though,” Lemon Zest said. “I’ve… _we’ve_ run into it before. At the Friendship Games.”

“The Friendship Games?” Adagio turned back towards them with a smirk. “You lot do have such predictable tastes.”

“Hey, you weren’t there!” Lemon Zest said accusatively, then turned to Fluttershy. “Er, she wasn’t there, was she?”

“No,” Fluttershy said. “She and the other Dazzlings were before the Friendship Games.”

Someone coughed, and everyone soon became acutely aware that fans were all watching them intently. Fluttershy stood up. “Adagio, I have no idea what you’re talking about. None of us do.”

“What?” Lemon Zest asked. “But, Shy –”

“Let’s get somewhere we can talk about whatever’s bothering you more privately.”

“As you wish,” Adagio said with a little mock bow.

Rainbow turned to the fans. “I’m… really sorry about this. Adagio is… a friend of ours from high school. We’ll all be right back to hang with you guys! And, uh…”

“And we’ll bring free shirts for you all,” Windfall said.

That seemed to do the trick to get the fans smiling again, so the band brought Adagio to their changing room. Rainbow was tempted to ask Windfall, Gilda, and Lemon Zest to stay behind with the fans, but she wanted as many people with Adagio as possible in case she tried something.

“When you say she was before the Friendship Games,” Lemon Zest said once the door was closed behind them, “do you mean that wasn’t the first time you all dealt with magic?”

“No,” Fluttershy said. “The Friendship Games were the third. Adagio was the second.”

“How does that not come up in conversation!?” Lemon Zest asked.

“Because we don’t usually like to talk about it,” Fluttershy said. “Just like you don’t like to talk about the Friendship Games.”

“Fair enough, so –”

“Hold the fuck on,” Gilda said. “You all want me to believe there’s some sort of fucking magic bullshit going on and you’ve all seen it before?”

“From her.” Rainbow nodded her head towards Adagio. “She has two partners though. Where are they, Adagio? Waiting to spring some sort of trap?”

“Now that’s not fair,” Adagio said with a pout that Rainbow didn’t buy for a moment. “You know _we_ don’t have magic anymore. You lot saw to that. No, Aria and Sonata are waiting outside. We thought you might feel less threatened if I talked to you myself.”

“Waiting outside for _what_ exactly?” Fluttershy asked. “You still haven’t told us what you want.”

“My apologies. You see, we’re tracking the magic. We may not have any magic of our own, but we are attuned to it. But the truth is that we lack the means to go after it.”

“And we do?” Rainbow asked.

“You already are.” Adagio tried to take a step closer to them, but Gilda stepped in her way with her arms folded. Adagio didn’t seem to mind. “Your tour is heading the same way as the Equestrian magic is. We propose you take us with you so that we can go after it.”

“And why the hell should we do that?” Rainbow asked. “You lot getting your hands on Equestrian magic? Sounds like a horrible idea.”

Adagio shrugged. “Even if we could get to it, we couldn’t use it. You shattered our gemstones, remember? We’re doomed to live as normal girls, and the only little bit of power we have is that we can track it. Something, I might add, that none of _you_ can do.”

“So then why go after it?” Fluttershy asked.

“Because we live here now.” Suddenly Adagio was deadly serious. “I don’t need to tell you what Equestrian magic left unchecked can do to this world. So while we’ll never like each other, it’s in our mutual interest to make sure whoever is wreaking havoc with magic is stopped.”

“So that’s it then?” Rainbow asked. “You only care because you’re in danger?”

“Yes,” Adagio said simply. “We’re… I’m scared. The last time Equestrian magic was loosed on the world, it nearly tore it apart. I don’t know if you realize how close we came to extinction, but I do.” Adagio placed a hand on her heart and looked down. “I felt it. I’ll never forget what that felt like.”

Rainbow and Fluttershy looked at one another, but it was Gilda that spoke up. “Look, this all sounds like a load of shit to me. What do you two know that we don’t?”

“Have you all seen our old Rainboom music videos?” Fluttershy asked. “The ones where we got pony ears and Dash and I got wings?”

“Yeah, it was like your whole theme,” Windfall said.

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “That wasn’t special effects. When we played in the Rainbooms, we would really ‘pony up’, as we called it.”

Windfall shook his head. “That… I’m sorry, but that’s not possible.”

“I know it sounds fake, but I saw it too,” Lemon Zest said. “You know, for whatever that’s worth.”

Fluttershy pressed her hand to her temple and turned to Adagio. “Do you have anything else to say to us?”

“I think that about sums it up,” Adagio said. “So what’ll it be?”

“We need to talk about this in private,” Fluttershy said.

Rainbow turned to Fluttershy, surprised at the suggestion. It made sense, but that didn’t stop her from being worried. “Are you sure we can trust her without supervision?”

“There’s security outside,” Fluttershy pointed out. “Besides, I don’t think she’ll do anything until she knows our answer.”

“I never pegged you for the smart one,” Adagio said. Fluttershy just pursed her lips. “Fine, I’ll leave you to talk amongst yourselves.”

Adagio walked past them without bothering to look twice. Rainbow wanted to turn her down just to wipe that damn smug look off her face. At least she closed the door behind her.

“So… what do we do now?” Lemon Zest asked. She leaned against a wall and folded her arms.

“We have security throw her out on her ass,” Rainbow said, not sure why this even warranted a discussion. “You remember Midnight Sparkle? This would be like inviting _her_ on tour, but there’s no turning back to Twilight.”

“I… think I agree,” Lemon Zest said. Her mouth moved as if she was trying to force out other words, and eventually, they came. “I mean, I don’t know anything about Adagio, but… if there’s magic going on, I want to be as far away from it as possible.

Fluttershy sighed. “If they come with us, we’d be able to keep an eye on them.” She looked around the room at everyone, stopping at Rainbow. “If they’re really determined to go after this Equestrian magic, I think they’ll do it one way or another. Better that we can watch them.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but it sounds like a whole lot of crazy,” Windfall said.

Rainbow seized his point, nodding enthusiastically. “It’s _so_ much crazy. Come on, Shy, this is a horrible idea.”

“I don’t know… I don’t want to trust them either, but…” Fluttershy shook her head, and when she looked at Rainbow again, she had fire in her eyes. “If there is magic, we have a responsibility to do something about it.”

“What are we gonna do?” Gilda asked. “Even if this magic thing is somehow legit, I ain’t no exorcist.”

“But we are.” Fluttershy put an arm around Rainbow. “Well, sort of.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “That was years ago. We don’t even pony up anymore.”

“I just think we should do what we can.” Fluttershy looked around the room and ran a hand through her hair. “Besides, we could take them along as roadies, tell them they’ll have to work to earn their keep.”

“I’m sure the road crew would like having a hand,” Gilda said. “I don’t know that I really believe in all this magic stuff, but if they’re earning their way here, I guess I don’t really give a shit.”

Windfall was watching Fluttershy closely. “This is really important to you, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy nodded. “It is.”

“Then I’m in. I think we can handle a few extra women around, even if they are, er… magic.”

Fluttershy smiled. “They’re not magic though. Not anymore.”

Rainbow clenched her teeth and looked around, as if she would find the words she needed to say somewhere in the room with them. She didn’t, so she just forced something out as best she could. “I still vote no. I don’t want them on tour with us.”

Fluttershy placed her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Dash, please, trust me on this. I know this is the right thing to do.”

As always, it proved hard to maintain her disagreement when Fluttershy was pleading with her. “But… how do you know?”

Fluttershy frowned and shook her head. “I just… feel it.”

“You _feel_ it? Shy, do you realize how big of a risk this is?”

“I think it would be a bigger risk to not take them with us.” She turned to Lemon Zest. “Zesty, imagine if the Friendship Games happened and we weren’t there to keep it in check. I know it’s scary, but I need you with me on this. Everyone does.”

Lemon Zest sighed. “Fine, I’m with you.”

Everyone turned to Rainbow, who scowled and turned away. “Fine, but I’m not fucking around with this. The second they get suspicious, they’re gone.”

Fluttershy took hold of Rainbow’s hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, Dashie.”

Gilda rolled her shoulder back until it made a popping sound. “Guess we should go tell her then.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Fluttershy led them out of the room, stopping just before she reached the door. “Uhm, can someone go get those T-shirts we promised?”

Windfall laughed. “Yeah, I’ll go get them.”

“I’ll come with you,” Lemon Zest said. “I want to stay away from the crazy magic bitch…”

They left the room, to the celebration of their fans. Rainbow tried to look like she was living it up, but right now she wanted to be anywhere else. She, Fluttershy, and Gilda made their way to Adagio, who was sitting on the couch Fluttershy had been on earlier.

“Alright,” Fluttershy said. “You can come.”

“But you gotta work for it,” Rainbow said. “For free.”

Fluttershy frowned and looked at Rainbow, no doubt thinking that they had never said anything about it being free labor.

Adagio didn’t seem to care though. “Fine. Perhaps you could arrange for Aria and Sonata to be allowed in then?”

Fluttershy sighed and turned away from the others. “I’ll go send for them.”

Rainbow glared at Adagio for a moment more, then turned away, taking Gilda with her. “Gil, listen… I know you don’t believe us about, uhm, all that stuff, but believe me when I say these girls are bad news.”

“Relax, Dash. You think I’m gonna let some bitches come in and wreck shit? I could break her face without even trying.”

Rainbow grinned, finding that reassurance meant more to her than any of the others. “I’m counting on you to help me keep an eye on things.”

“You got it, Dash.”

Windfall and Lemon Zest returned, so Rainbow tried to feel better by mingling with their fans and handing out shirts. It might have worked, at least a little, but occasionally she caught sight of Adagio and it all came crashing down.

It was even worse when Aria and Sonata showed up. Aria immediately took to talking to the fans as if she was supposed to be there, while Sonata seemed more interested in raiding the food spread.

The tour was supposed to be Rainbow’s haven, her home, her normality. Then the Dazzlings showed up, and now… now Rainbow just hoped it could ever be the same again.


	9. Fraternizing with the Enemy

#### Chapter Nine

## Fraternizing with the Enemy

The crowd was still cheering when the band came backstage. They had really put on a great show in spite of all the stress they were under, and as always, the crowd ate it up.

But even so, Rainbow looked at Fluttershy with an anxious look. Fluttershy smiled and shook her head, which made relief flash across Rainbow’s face and the tension she was holding fade away.

Fluttershy felt the same way. She had thought that she’d been used to living every day as it came for the past few years, but now she realized that she’d had a sense of routine that had kept her sane.

A sense of routine that was now shattered. Ever since the Dazzlings had joined the band on tour, every night was a mystery. Sometimes no one ever saw them. Tonight was one of those nights, at least so far. They were good at making themselves scarce when they wanted to be, and Fluttershy neither knew nor cared where they were.

Maybe she should. No, she knew she should. They couldn’t trust the Dazzlings, and at least when they were around, they could be watched. But it was so nerve-wracking whenever they were backstage that Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel relieved when they weren’t there.

She tried to hold onto that feeling while the band got together with their fans. Everything was going smoothly, and that wasn’t something that could be said for every night lately. But still, Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel worried.

“Hey, Shy,” Gilda said from behind her, causing Fluttershy to jump. “You seem a bit tense.”

Fluttershy frowned. “You know why.”

Gilda nodded. “Yeah, I do but… You know I’ve been thinking. Actually, can we go somewhere else to talk about this?”

“Of course.” Fluttershy led them through the fans that were still filing in until they got to the dressing room. She closed the door behind them and smiled. “So what’s on your mind.”

Gilda shifted around uncomfortably. “It’s just… they haven’t done anything.”

“They’ve done plenty, trust me,” Fluttershy said.

“I don’t mean in the past, I wasn’t there for that. I mean since they got here.”

Fluttershy folded her arms. “Not yet.”

Gilda scratched at her neck. “What if they’re, I don’t know, legit?”

“Since when do you even believe in magic?”

“I don’t need to believe in it to know that they do. Whether it’s real or not, maybe they just want to go on their little magic quest and not bother anyone.”

“You just… you weren’t there.”

Gilda sighed and looked away. “I’m just saying that people can change. I did.”

“You’re not like them!”

“Because I’m your friend?”

“No. You were a bully, these girls were pure evil.”

Gilda put her hand on the doorknob, but she stopped before opening it. “I’m just saying that there’s nothing a person can’t come back from. But if the only option anyone holds open for them is being terrible, well, then they’re going to wind up being terrible.”

Gilda opened the door and left, but Fluttershy didn’t go out right away. Instead, she took a seat and looked into a vanity mirror.

She stared at her reflection, thinking of what Gilda had said. Once upon a time, Fluttershy had been the type of person who would _always_ be willing to give a second chance. And it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen someone come back from a terrible place. Maybe Gilda really wasn’t a good comparison to the Dazzlings, but what about Sunset?

Sunset had once tried to take over the school with mind control. Which, as it happened, was incredibly similar to what the Dazzlings did later. Sunset had gone from being one of the worst people Fluttershy had ever met to being one of her best friends to the only real lover Fluttershy had ever had.

Fluttershy placed her hand on the mirror and wondered what Sunset would do. Part of her wanted to ask. She could, she knew. Applejack had the journal, she could get a message through to Sunset in an instant.

But then… Sunset might want to come back and take care of things herself. No, she definitely would. That was just how Sunset was. If there was a problem, she would be there to face it head-on.

Well, Fluttershy didn’t need Sunset. She knew how Sunset would handle things, and she could do the same thing. Sunset wouldn’t shy away from them, she would be right there making sure that the Dazzlings were really doing what they said they were.

Fluttershy stood up and walked out of the room. Immediately, she saw that she would have no problems putting her new determination to the test – the Dazzlings had arrived.

The first thing that caught her eye was that Adagio was talking with Windfall. Although a large part of her insisted that no good could come from Adagio talking to anyone in the band, Gilda’s words kept echoing in her head.

That didn’t mean she would leave them unchecked, however. So Fluttershy got closer under the guise of getting herself a drink from a nearby mini-fridge. They seemed to be talking about the night’s show.

“It really was something,” Adagio said. “Much better than I expected.”

“Thanks,” Windfall said in his usually friendly tone. He had no idea whom he was talking to. “Glad we were able to surprise you.”

“It really is a shame, though. You’re so talented, and they’re just keeping you out of the spotlight.”

Fluttershy frowned and glanced in their direction. Adagio had her back to Fluttershy, which limited what she could see. Even Windfall was hard to make out over her poofy mass of hair. Even so, she could tell he looked surprised by the comment.

“I don’t know about that,” he said. “I mean, I’m up on stage with all the others and everything.”

“Yes, but you’re stuck playing _rhythm_ guitar. I’m a musician myself, so believe me when I say I can see your obvious talent. I can’t imagine you’d have any difficulty playing guitar solos the crowd would go crazy for.”

“Well, I have written a few solos.”

“And I bet you _never_ get to play them, you poor thing.”

Windfall had written solos? Fluttershy didn’t know that. She inhaled and prepared to step into the conversation, but as soon as she turned towards them properly, Aria was in front of her.

“Great party,” Aria said. Fluttershy couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

“Thanks,” Fluttershy said. She looked past Aria, but Adagio had shifted position so Fluttershy could longer see Windfall past her hair.

“I have to say, I’m a little surprised though.” Aria walked past Fluttershy and grabbed herself a beer. “I always thought you and your friends were so close, and yet, only one of them is here.”

“We’re still close,” Fluttershy said.

“Oh yeah?” Aria popped open the can and took a long drink of her beer. “That’s cool. You know, distance ends so many friendships.”

“What are you getting at?”

“Whoa, just making small talk.” Aria grinned. “Geez, I thought you were supposed to be the nice one.”

Fluttershy fixed her with an icy stare. “I don’t appreciate people telling me my friends and I aren’t close anymore.”

“I didn’t tell you anything, I was just asking a question.” Aria’s grin grew wicked. “If you feel like that, that’s on you, not me.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath and forced herself to remain calm. “We just chose different paths in life. The others didn’t want to be in a touring band like Bitchette.”

“I guess that’s fair. Thought you’d call them in when Equestrian magic hit the scene again, though. You know, call the cavalry?”

Fluttershy’s eye twitched. “They’re all busy with their own lives. They can’t just drop everything and head across the country.”

“So what _are_ they doing these days, anyway?”

“Why do you care?”

Aria shrugged. “Like I said, just making small talk. What about that Sunset Shimmer chick? She ever do anything besides hang off the rest of your coattails.”

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

“Whoa, I hit a nerve there?” Aria didn’t even try to look guilty.

Fluttershy realized her fists were balled up. She forced herself to open them, but she couldn’t manage to calm herself down.

“I’m surprised you care.” Aria shrugged. “The way I remember it, you all didn’t much care for her.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh sure, you were all friends, but you didn’t invite _her_ to join your band.”

“We did!” Fluttershy wasn’t sure why she was having this discussion. What did it matter if Aria understood? “Sunset joined the Rainbooms after the Battle of the Bands.”

“Really? Huh.” Aria just shrugged again and drank the rest of her beer. She crushed the can and threw it into a trash bin.

“I see what you’re doing,” Fluttershy said accusatively.

“Really?” Aria smirked. “What am I doing?”

“You’re trying to get under my skin. I just don’t know why.”

“You think _way_ too highly of yourself. Why should I care about getting under your skin?”

Fluttershy didn’t have an answer to that, but she realized she didn’t need one. “Aria, do you know what it is I do here?”

“No idea. You’re like… a groupie, or something?”

Fluttershy clenched her teeth and stepped closer so she was right in front of Aria. “I’m the tour manager, which means it’s _my_ decision whether you stay on this tour or not. So I’m giving you one warning, don’t fuck with me or I _will_ kick you off of it, magic or not.”

Aria turned away from her. “Tch, whatever.”

Fluttershy pushed past Aria and kept walking. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but she was sure she was going to put distance between herself and Aria Blaze.

She kept walking until she reached a door, then she went through it. She found herself outside and looking at their tour bus, which suited her just fine. She realized too late that she had left Windfall to deal with Adagio himself, but she was sure he could handle himself. She just… couldn’t be in there anymore.

“Oh, uh… hi.”

Fluttershy winced. She knew that voice. Sure enough, she turned to see Sonata Dusk leaning against the building beside her. “What are you doing out here?”

Sonata frowned. “I’m just getting some air.”

Fluttershy folded her arms for warmth. “It’s forty degrees out here.”

“Yeah,” Sonata said somberly. “It is.”

Fluttershy waited a bit for more, but it didn’t come. Eventually she sighed and asked, “So what’s _your_ angle?”

“My angle?” Sonata quirked her head to the side.

Fluttershy wasn’t buying it. “How are you trying to cause problems? What are you up to?”

“What?” Sonata flinched back and shook her head. “I’m not up to anything! I’m sitting outside in the cold, what do you possibly think I could be plotting?”

“I don’t know, just…” Fluttershy pressed her hand to her temple. “I just got done dealing with Aria making me feel like shit for my friends not all being here, and then I heard Adagio trying to convince Windfall we’re keeping him out of the spotlight.”

Sonata bowed her head. “They don’t mean anything by it. We just… aren’t really used to dealing with people without, err… manipulating them.”

“That doesn’t make it okay!”

“No, I know it doesn’t.” Sonata sighed and looked up at Fluttershy. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but they’re trying.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Fluttershy mumbled.

“I know. Just…” Sonata pushed herself off the wall and placed her hands together. “You have to get to know them.”

“I’d rather not…”

“Well then… get to know me. And then you can trust my word on it!”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. She had better things to do than to get to know a Dazzling. “I’ll pass. Just keep them in line better, or else all of you are off the tour.”

Not wanting to stand out in the cold, Fluttershy walked across the parking lot to get to their tour bus. She got as far as the door, then stopped. The bus was going to be just as cold, and she had made up her mind to confront the Dazzlings head-on. What good would running away do?

So instead, Fluttershy turned back to the building. She saw Sonata giving her a questioning look, but she ignored it. She opened the door and went back inside, immediately looking around for the other Dazzlings.

They weren’t too hard to spot. Aria was surrounded by a group of the band’s fans, while Adagio was talking to just one guy. Since she had already given Aria a warning, Fluttershy decided to drop in on Adagio instead.

“So what are you doing after the show?” the guy asked. He was leaning in close to Adagio and seemed to be too caught up in her to notice Fluttershy.

“I don’t know,” Adagio said in a sultry tone that would give him plenty of reason to be hopeful. “Depends if the boss is here to pile extra work on me.”

She turned to face Fluttershy, causing her to drop all her words. With no time to pick them up, she scrambled for new ones. “What?” was all she managed to come up with.

Adagio just smirked. “Well, I figure you must be hovering for _some_ reason.”

“I’m just… making sure everyone is doing okay.” Fluttershy knew it was a weak excuse, but what was she supposed to say? She had no reason to suspect she was up to anything sinister yet.

“How considerate.” Adagio turned back to the guy. “But we’re doing just fine here. Might want to check on Aria, I think she’s also flirting with someone, heaven forbid.”

“I never said you couldn’t flirt with people,” Fluttershy said, frowning at Adagio dismissing her so readily. “But, well… I heard you talking to Windfall earlier.”

“Really?” Adagio looked at her over her shoulder. “Well, my secret’s out. You know I’m a fan, then.”

“It was more than that and you know it. You were filling his head with the idea that we don’t want him taking lead.”

“Well, he _is_ the rhythm guitarist. All I said was that it was a shame. I don’t see why that should bother you.” Adagio put her hand to her mouth. “Unless… you really _are_ keeping him from the spotlight.”

“Of course we’re not!”

“In that case, you shouldn’t mind me telling him how impressed I was at his performance.” Adagio turned back to face Fluttershy properly. “Now, am I going to be able to resume my conversation, or did you have more circles to run around in?”

Fluttershy took a step back. She had told herself she’d meet the Dazzlings head-on, and she had. Only, she never suspected that she would be so bad at it…

Without giving an answer, Fluttershy turned around. She looked over at Aria to see she was laughing at something a guy said while she had her arm around a girl. Knowing she would do no better with her, she decided not to bother.

Fuck it, she was going to the hotel. She was going to wait for the others like she usually did, but they’d be fine. She’d just shoot them a group text saying she was heading out early and maybe talk to them about the Dazzlings’ behavior tomorrow.

The cold air stung as Fluttershy made her way out of the building for the second time. She looked to the side and, sure enough, Sonata was still there.

She should just leave well enough alone. She’d had no luck with any of the Dazzlings, and she’d already decided to call it a night.

But while she rationalized that, she still found herself asking, “What are you doing out here?”

Sonata groaned. “This again? I already told you.”

“You said you were getting some air. It’s fucking cold out, you’re going to freeze.”

Sonata folded her arms and looked away. “Do you care?”

“I don’t know.” Fluttershy frowned and hated herself for the answer that came to her lips next. “Yes. Okay, yes, I care. I don’t want you to freeze to death.”

“Even though I’m a siren?”

“Yes, even though you’re a siren.”

“Well, if you really want to know…” Sonata looked down as if this was some big secret, although it couldn’t be that big of a deal if she was telling Fluttershy. “I don’t like big groups.”

“Well, neither do I, but that doesn’t mean I want to stand out in the cold.”

Sonata shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know, you came out here twice already.”

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “That’s because of your sisters, or… whatever they are.”

“We’re not sisters,” Sonata said. “We’re packmates.”

“Packmates?”

“Your language doesn’t actually have a word for it. We call it visera. It’s like…” Sonata put her finger to her mouth to think. “A family can break apart, but when you’ve bonded with you visera, that’s for life.”

“A family by choice is still a family,” Fluttershy pointed out. “Like Rainbow Dash. She’s my sister, but we’re not actually related.”

Sonata just shook her head. “Humans never really get it.”

“Yeah, well, your _visera_ are a bunch of bitches…”

Surprisingly, Sonata laughed. “Yeah, they really are. Sorry about them…”

“Pretty sure they’re both in there flirting. Aria’s with a whole _group_ of people, and I kind of think she’s flirting with all of them.”

“Yeah, she does that. We come out to shows when we feel like hooking up with someone.”

Fluttershy could hardly blame them for that, but she worried about their fans. “They’re _just_ hooking up? No weird, I don’t know, mind control shit?”

Sonata pointed to her neck, which was bare. “We can’t do that anymore. Remember?”

Fluttershy found a small smile working its way to her face. “You say that like I ever understood magic in the first place.”

“You didn’t?” Sonata cocked her head to the side. “But you used it against us.”

“It all just sort of… happened.”

Sonata facepalmed. “Oh man, we got beat by a bunch of teenagers who didn’t even know what they were doing… Please don’t tell the others that.”

Fluttershy actually felt a little bad for her. Of course, she knew they had done the right thing to stop the Dazzlings, but it sounded like it had been quite hard on them. “Well, if it helps, Sunset and Twilight understood magic. Just… not the rest of us.”

“I guess that’s a little better.”

Fluttershy took a step closer to Sonata. She felt a little guilty for accusing her earlier. As far as she could tell, Sonata was genuinely not that bad. The others were awful, of course, but Sonata seemed alright.

“So what about you?” Fluttershy asked. “If you’re all here to hook up, then why are you out here?”

Sonata grinned. “Well, I never said _I_ was in the mood to hook up with someone.”

“So then why come?”

Sonata seemed confused by the question. “They’re my visera.”

“So? I was about to leave the band and go to my hotel. I love them, but I don’t need to be here just because they are.”

Sonata nodded and smiled. “Well, they’re your band, not your visera. We go everywhere together.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure that sounded particularly healthy, but she was sure it wasn’t her place to question Sonata’s culture. Besides, she has another question on her mind. “Wait, if they’re trying to score and Adagio was talking to Windfall earlier… Was she coming onto him?”

Sonata shrugged. “Maybe.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Tell them that the band is off limits. As long as they’re not hurting anyone, they can flirt and sleep with who they want, but _not_ anyone in the band.”

“Alright, I’ll tell them.” Sonata shifted in place. “Uhm, I know you’re not too happy with us, but please keep letting us come with you. This is really important. For everyone.”

“I know, you want to track the magic.”

“We do, and you do too. Who knows what’ll happen if whoever’s using the magic goes all crazy?”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “I already got the whole spiel from Adagio. But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick you all off the tour if you cause problems.”

“I’ll tell them not to mess with you all,” Sonata promised. “I’ll tell them not to even _talk_ to you all unless you talk to them first. We really need this.”

Listening to Sonata made Fluttershy wonder if she should be doing more herself. “You really think this magic thing is that serious, huh?”

“It is, I know it is. And…” Sonata looked away from her. “And we don’t have any other options.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve never… needed to do things on our own before, you know?” Sonata traced her hand around her neck. “We used to just manipulate people into doing things for us. Giving us food, or money, or places to stay. Whatever we needed.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip. “Am I supposed to feel bad that you can’t mind control people anymore?”

“No. I don’t mean you should feel bad, I’m just… explaining.” Sonata looked up at the night sky. The city lights blocked out most of the stars, but there were a few visible. “Because now… we have to do things for ourselves. And we’re bad at it. We scrape by on a little hole in the wall bar, and we barely even knew how to shop for food until a few years ago.”

Despite her claim of not feeling bad for them, Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel a little less upset.

“The reason Adagio came by herself at first was that we could only afford one backstage pass. We really don’t have a lot, you know? Like a car, we’ve never had one of them. And that means that even if we know where the magic is, we don’t have the ability to go after it, you know? Even if we tried to make it on foot, we wouldn’t have money for food or shelter.”

“So what about your bar?”

“We closed it for now, and we just have to hope we can reopen it without any problems when we get back. We’re risking our livelihood to be out here, so… Please don’t kick us out.”

Fluttershy sighed. “I won’t. But you all need to be on your best behavior.”

“Yes!” Sonata jumped up and grinned. “You won’t regret this!”

Fluttershy sighed. She certainly hoped she wouldn’t, but she couldn’t be sure about that. One thing was sure though. “I _do_ regret standing out here for so long. I’m getting a taxi and then getting out of here.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea.”

Fluttershy pulled out her phone and opened a ride sharing app. She ordered a cab and gave directions for them to come to the back of the building.

When she was finished, she frowned at Sonata. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I am, but… I’d just be in Adagio and Aria’s way in there.”

Fluttershy’s eye twitched. “Come in and wait with me then.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Come on.”

Fluttershy opened the door and held it open for Sonata. It took her a moment, but she eventually stepped through. Fluttershy followed immediately after.

Sonata stretched out her fingers, and Fluttershy wondered how long she had been outside for. It wasn’t like her blue skin gave any indication.

“You know, I’m surprised,” Fluttershy said.

Sonata cocked her head to the side. “About what?”

“You don’t seem like someone who would be bad at groups.”

Sonata grinned sheepishly. “I never… really needed to talk to anyone other than Aria and Adagio. I’m a little better than I used to be.”

Once again, Fluttershy wondered if this ‘visera’ was really a good thing. “I guess you get practice at the bar.”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Here, let’s get you something to warm you up.” Fluttershy led the way to the mini-fridge, where she pulled two of the last three beers. She handed one to Sonata. “I hope you don’t mind beer, it’s all we have here.”

“I don’t mind.” Sonata opened her can and started drinking.

Fluttershy smiled and did the same. Being inside seemed to put an end to their conversation. Maybe it was the fact that Adagio and Aria were in the room, maybe the group was just a little too big for Sonata.

Either way, it got them out of the cold, and that was enough on its own. It wasn’t like Fluttershy was trying to make friends with Sonata; she was just being friendly with someone she was forced into spending time with.

Within fifteen minutes, she got a notification that the taxi had arrived. “I’m heading out now,” she told Sonata.

“Oh. Okay.”

Fluttershy smiled at her. “Try to stay warm.”

Sonata nodded, and Fluttershy walked off to the door. She opened it one more time, then walked out into the cold.


	10. Anger Rising

#### Chapter Ten

## Anger Rising

Having time to go into town for lunch was always a great feeling. It almost made up for having to soundcheck first. Since soundchecks were performed in reverse order of performing, and Bitchette was the headlining band, they had to do theirs first out of the three bands on tour. They’d often have to get off the tour bus and perform a soundcheck without having enough time to so much as stretch.

But the upside was that they were afforded more consecutive downtime. They had no reason to stick around for the other bands’ soundchecks, nor did they actually _need_ to be there for their performances. That gave them a lot of time between their own soundcheck and performance.

So as they usually did, the band went out for lunch. Fluttershy had stayed behind to take care of some sort of manager stuff, so it was just the four band members. They’d stopped at a sub shop and were just wrapping up.

“So what do you all make of the Dazzlings?” Rainbow asked. It had been two weeks since the Dazzlings joined them on their tour, and there was something unsettling about it.

“Those girls that have been tagging along?” Lemon Zest shrugged. “They haven’t really done a lot. I’ve seen Fluttershy talking to one of them a few times, but none of them have said a word to me.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of weird.” Rainbow sucked on her soda, the telltale sign that she needed a refill sounding in the air. “Trust me, this isn’t like them.”

“Yeah, Fluttershy told me the same thing.” Gilda wiped mayonnaise from her sub off her face. “Said I shouldn’t trust them. I said, you know, sometimes people change.”

Rainbow winced. She knew why Gilda would say that, but it just wasn’t the same. “Not people like them.”

“Yeah, she said that too.” Gilda sounded irritated. Was she really on the Dazzlings’ side?

“I talked to one of them a few days ago,” Windfall said. He grabbed Rainbow’s cup and brought it up to the soda machine. He refilled both his own soda and hers, then brought them back to the table.

Rainbow waited while he drank, but he didn’t seem like he was going to elaborate. “Yeah, and?”

Windfall shrugged. “She seemed nice. The one with all the hair.”

“Adagio?” Rainbow asked. “They kind of all have a lot of hair.”

“I dunno. Looks kinda like a cheese poof.”

“Yeah, that’s Adagio. She’s like their leader.”

“Well, like I said, she seemed nice. Said she liked my guitar playing.”

Rainbow frowned. That was just what was so unsettling about it – they didn’t seem to be doing much of anything. Where were the plots? Where was the deception? Whatever was going on behind the scenes, Rainbow liked it a lot less than if they were being openly hostile.

“You’re overthinking it,” Lemon Zest said.

“What do you mean?”

Lemon Zest sighed. “Look, we can all see it, you know? You’re like, trying to find something that these girls are doing wrong.”

“You don’t _want_ them to be good,” Gilda said bitterly. “Dash, you’re doing the same shit again.”

“I’m not!”

“You _are._ ” Gilda leaned on the table and held Rainbow’s glare. She didn’t look upset, not really. If anything, she looked tired. “I’m telling you straight up as your friend. We all are. Because this is the same thing you did with me, and I know you’ll beat yourself up over this in the end.”

Rainbow folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. “I thought you were supposed to be on my side. What happened to breaking their faces in?”

“If they step out of line, hell yeah.” Gilda drummed her fingers on the table. “But Dash? They haven’t. They even do good work, the rest of the road crew has good shit to say about them.”

Rainbow wasn’t convinced that she was wrong, but she could easily see that she was outnumbered. “Whatever, just forget I asked.”

Lemon Zest groaned and went limp leaning back in her chair. “Don’t be a drama queen. We’re not attacking you, we just want you to see that maybe you’re wrong.”

“I said whatever, I’m fine.” As if it proved her point, Rainbow took her cup off the table and drank more of her soda.

“Well, alright.” Windfall leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. “So I had something I wanted to bring up with y’all.”

“What’s up?” Lemon Zest asked.

Windfall took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk about me maybe stepping out into the spotlight a little more.”

“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked.

Windfall looked directly at Rainbow. “I want to play lead.”

Rainbow blinked, unsure what to make of that statement. She was the lead guitarist, what was he talking about?

It seemed that Windfall realized he hadn’t really made sense, because he shifted positions then elaborated. “Not like all the time or anything. Just, you know, sometimes.”

Before Rainbow could work some words into sentences, Gilda spoke up. “Shit, you write songs, you should at least play lead on them.”

“What?” Rainbow turned to her, almost as surprised at her for siding with him as she was at Windfall himself.

“I guess why not?” Lemon Zest asked. She grinned at Rainbow. “I mean, Rainbow’s already lead singer. I don’t think even her ego is big enough to need to play lead on every song too.”

Rainbow cleared her throat. “You joined as the rhythm guitarist.”

“Yeah, and I will be.” Windfall frowned. “I’m not trying to steal your thunder, just get some of my own.”

“Dash, it’s not that big of a deal,” Gilda said. “I say he should go for it. Dude’s never going to compare to you and me on stage anyway, might as well throw him a bone.”

That brought a good point to Rainbow’s mind. “Look, we all signed up for our parts.” Rainbow gestured to the other members in turn. “Gil’s bassist and Zest is drums. Neither of them ever get to take the forefront, it doesn’t mean they’re any less important.”

Lemon Zest arched an eyebrow. “Dude, if I could grab my drum kit and drag it to the front of the stage to play a sick solo, I absolutely fuckin would. I’m cool with just being the drummer because I don’t have a choice. I love the drums, and that comes with the territory whether I like it or not.”

Gilda shrugged. “And I spend every night trying to steal as much of your spotlight as I can.”

“Why are you so against this?” Windfall asked. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

“I don’t know, I just…”

“Look, I’m a good guitarist.” Windfall was starting to sound more offended. “Other people see that. I’ve even gotten invitations to join other bands as lead guitarist.”

“You what?” Rainbow scowled. “Who the fuck is trying to poach you?”

Windfall shook his head in disbelief. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not joining them.”

“That’s… actually kind of cool,” Lemon Zest said. “I mean, it was really lame of them to try and steal someone who’s already in a band, but it’s cool that they wanted you.”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. Windfall was playing dirty. Sure, he wouldn’t join them, but he brought this up right when they were talking about him being lead? He was using this as leverage.

“Maybe you should just fucking join them.” Rainbow stood up, the chair legs scraping noisily against the floor behind her. “Get to be lead guitarist, since that’s what you’re after here.”

Lemon Zest reared her head back. “Dash, what the hell?”

“Be another fucking disappointment, just like Lightning Dust!”

“Okay.” Gilda stood up as well. “You need to calm the hell down.”

“No, I need to get the hell out of here.” Rainbow turned around and walked away, ignoring the way that everyone in the restaurant was staring at her. She especially ignored the way Windfall was staring at her.

She pushed open the door and started walking through the cold. They were only a couple blocks from the venue, so there was no need to get a cab, even if it was tempting. The cold January air kind of sucked, but they were far south enough that there was no snow at least.

What was going to happen now? Would Windfall really leave if he didn’t get to be the lead guitarist? If so, then fine. How hard could it be to find a replacement? Maybe next Lemon Zest would leave, and then Bitchette would be one of those bands where it was all about the lead singer and the band was just whoever was playing with her at the time.

So what if Windfall left? And so what if even Fluttershy had threatened to leave her? Rainbow could do it all on her own, she didn’t need anyone, she’d be better off, she… she…

She didn’t really believe that. Even as upset as she was, she didn’t really believe she’d be okay on her own. That’s not what this was about, this band was supposed to be about family. They were supposed to stick together, no matter what. They _weren’t_ supposed to leave when things got a little rough.

The angry thoughts burned in Rainbow enough to get her through the cold, but it was still a relief when she reached the concert venue. It was still a good half an hour before doors opened, but there were already people gathering around outside.

Rainbow bypassed them by going to the back door. Even before she opened it, she could hear the sound of the opening band performing their soundcheck. She pushed the door open, increasing the volume and bringing a welcome relief of warm air.

Since she had nothing better to do, she made her way to the stage to watch. It used to feel a bit strange watching a band perform with no audience, but it was something she’d long since gotten used to. There were a few roadies around, either watching or setting things up, but otherwise the venue was empty.

She must have just caught the tail end of the soundcheck, because a few minutes later, they were wrapping up. There were a few comments from the band agreeing that everything was in order, then they all put aside their instruments to take a small break before the doors opened.

The singer noticed Rainbow and walked over to her. He wore a big grin, which was usual of their interactions. His band was new to touring and they still looked up to the more successful headlining act, but they had always been pretty cool about it.

“Hey, Rainbow,” he said. His name was Boltsinger, and he had bright orange skin and messy neon blue hair. In some ways he reminded Rainbow of Fluttershy, in that he was also too nice to be touring with a punk act.

“Hey, Bolt. Everything going good?”

“Yup! We just finished our soundcheck and we’re ready for the big night.”

The ‘big night’ was, of course, just a routine show. But Rainbow liked that he was still so enthusiastic about every performance, so she didn’t say anything about that. Instead, something else caught her attention. “Hey, Bolt?”

“Yeah?”

“You have two guitarists in your band. That ever causing issues?”

“Issues?” He cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” Rainbow shrugged and kept her voice as casual as she could. The last thing she needed was for anyone to suspect there were issues in the band. “Butting egos, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, not really.” Boltsinger looked over at his guitarists, both of whom were talking casually. “We’re lucky that everyone pretty much gets along in our band. We’re just like you guys that way.”

“Yeah, of course.” Rainbow looked away. “So, uh, which ones the lead guitarist again?”

“Depends on the song. We split it about fifty-fifty.”

Splitting lead guitar duties, just like Windfall wanted. “Yeah, that’s pretty cool. Anyway, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You’re not in my way at all,” Boltsinger said with a warm smile.

“Yeah, I just gotta… go check on something.” Rainbow waved and turned to leave. “Good luck tonight!”

“Thanks, you too!”

Rainbow didn’t have anywhere in particular in mind to go, but she did want some time to herself to think. She wound up waiting near the back door.

What if Windfall actually took her seriously? Of _course_ she didn’t want him to leave the band, she had just been angry. He knew that, right? He had to, they could work things out, they just needed to talk about it more.

Talk about it… What the hell did that mean coming from the bitch who had just walked out on him trying to do just that? Rainbow held her face in her hands. What the hell was wrong with her?

Did she really even care if Windfall took lead on some songs? Well, sort of. She liked being the one in the spotlight, there was no point in denying that. She lived for it. But that didn’t mean she _had_ to have it all the time, right? God damn, she was already the lead singer, how much more did she need?

It didn’t matter. Windfall wouldn’t leave the band, Rainbow wouldn’t have it. If that meant sharing the spotlight, then that’s what that meant. It’s not like he was asking for anything unreasonable.

She wasn’t sure how long she waited by the door, but it was long enough for it to open. Windfall and the others came in, and they all stopped when they saw her. Unsurprisingly, all three of them looked upset with her.

“Windfall, I wanted to talk to you,” Rainbow said meekly. “About, er, the lead guitar thing.”

“Save it,” Windfall said, already walking away. “I don’t want to talk about it now.”

Rainbow held out her hand, but he kept walking anyway. So she turned instead to Lemon Zest and Gilda. Gilda just groaned and went after Windfall.

Lemon Zest waited though. “You know, he’s always been there for you. For all of us.”

“I know.”

“He’s not asking for much.”

“I _know_ …”

“Just…” Lemon Zest shook her head and walked after the others. “Ugh!”

Rainbow hung limp, staring at the floor and wondering, not for the first time, exactly what was wrong with her.

She didn’t find an answer, but at least she knew what to do. She had fucked things up again, and there was no one who would help her fix it.

No one, of course, except Fluttershy. All Rainbow had to do was find her.

She first left the venue to check the tour bus, but it was empty. She went back in and checked the dressing room, where Boltsinger told her he’d seen her in the audience during the soundcheck.

That was a little strange, since Fluttershy didn’t usually bother to sit and watch soundchecks, but maybe she had finished her manager work and gotten bored. With the soundcheck done and doors opening any time now, it was unlikely she was still there, but it wasn’t like Rainbow had any other leads.

She walked through the venue, going around the stage to get to the audience area. Against the odds, Fluttershy was there, and surprisingly enough, she wasn’t alone.

Fluttershy was sitting at the bar with Sonata, both of them sipping from plastic cups. Fluttershy was laughing at something Sonata said as Rainbow walked up.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said, glancing at Sonata. What the hell was Fluttershy doing talking to a Dazzling anyway? “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course.” Fluttershy turned to Rainbow and took a sip from her drink.

Rainbow frowned at Sonata, who was spinning around on her barstool. “Uh, in private?”

“Oh, sure.” Fluttershy smiled at Sonata. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Sonata stopped herself from spinning and blinked a few times before beaming. “Okay, Shy!”

Rainbow winced. Only Fluttershy’s close friends called her ‘Shy’. Why was Sonata using that nickname?

She wouldn’t bother asking now though, she had more important matters at hand. Fluttershy stood up and followed Rainbow away from the bar. They stopped by the stage, where they’d be far enough away from Sonata to talk in relative private.

“Is everything okay?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah, it’s just…” Rainbow scratched at the back of her head. “No. I screwed up, Shy.”

“What happened?”

“Well, Windfall told us he wanted to play lead guitar.”

“Really?” Fluttershy cocked her head to the side. “I always thought he was happy playing rhythm.”

“Yeah, so did I.” Rainbow kicked at the ground and realized she wasn’t being fair to Windfall. “I mean, not on every song. Just sometimes.”

“I guess that’s pretty reasonable.”

Even Fluttershy agreed. Of course she did though, it was just Rainbow who couldn’t keep her ego in check for long enough to see things clearly. “Yeah, I kinda… blew up on him.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Just because he wants to play lead sometimes?”

“Yeah…”

Fluttershy sighed. “Rainbow…”

“I know! I screwed things up, I should have been more understanding, it’s just… he started talking about other bands wanting him to be their lead guitarist, and I started thinking about Lightning Dust, and I just…”

Fluttershy put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “You made a mistake.”

“Yeah…” Rainbow managed to pick her head up enough to look Fluttershy in the eyes. “I need your help. He doesn’t want to talk to me now.”

“Alright,” Fluttershy said. “I’ll talk to him. What do you want me to say?”

“Tell him I’m sorry and I… I want to talk more about it. Without blowing up this time.”

Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

Rainbow found a small smile of her own. “Thanks, Shy.”

“Don’t mention it.” Fluttershy looked back to Sonata. “I’ll talk to him in a little bit, just as soon as I’m done talking with Sonata.”

Rainbow wanted to insist Fluttershy should talk to him now, or at least to ask why the hell talking to Sonata took precedence. She didn’t, however. This whole mess was her fault, and Fluttershy was helping her resolve it. Rainbow couldn’t be pushy.

So all she said was, “Yeah, okay.”

Fluttershy smiled and walked back to Sonata, leaving Rainbow alone.

Well, almost alone. “Nice one, bandleader.”

Rainbow whipped around and saw Aria on the stage. She glared at her. “What was that?”

“Just saying this is supposed to be your band and you’re not only letting someone move in on your turf, but you’re also delegating to _her_ of all people to handle your shit.”

“What the fuck are you even doing here?” Rainbow demanded. “Do you just hang around waiting to antagonize people?”

“Uh, I work here?” Aria shook her head and quirked an eyebrow. “Remember? Part of our whole agreement?”

Rainbow climbed onto the stage and picked herself up so she was face to face with Aria. “Yeah, well, how is this any of _your_ business?”

Aria shrugged. “It’s not. I was just here and couldn’t help but overhear your little ‘oh, please help me fix my screw up!’ ”

Rainbow grabbed Aria by her shirt and pulled her closer. “Wanna run that by me again?”

“Hey, back off!” Aria shoved Rainbow away from her. Rainbow stood in a fighting stance, but Aria just rolled her eyes. “Tch, geez, you must be really screwed up if a little thing like this is getting under your skin.”

“Don’t think I won’t wipe that smug look off your face!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Aria flipped her hair over her shoulder and spun around, so her back was to Rainbow. “Good luck with your little band drama.”

Rainbow fixed her with a glare that was so severe she must have been able to feel it even as she walked away. Once she was gone, Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets and turned back to look at Fluttershy. She seemed to be enjoying herself while talking to Sonata, which was almost as bad as listening to Aria trying to start shit.

Fans started entering the venue, and Rainbow wasn’t in any mood to pretend things were cool just yet. She would have to in a few hours for the show, but until then, she might as well wait on the tour bus. Windfall and Aria were both somewhere in the venue, and Rainbow wanted to be somewhere they weren’t.

The worst part was that Rainbow was no longer sure who she was angrier at – herself or everyone else. It didn’t matter. Aria’s words echoed in her head, and no matter who it was directed at, Rainbow was angry.

She stepped out into the cold and pushed through it to get to the tour bus. At least if she was going to be angry, she could be angry all on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boltsinger is making a cameo appearance from a friend’s underrated fic [One Bolt, Many Questions](https://www.fimfiction.net/story/396367/one-bolt-many-questions) ^^


	11. From Out of the Rain

#### Chapter Eleven

## From Out of the Rain

Birthdays on tour were a bit different than they were back home. There was no stopping the tour, no taking days off. There was no going out to a show to celebrate, the band _was_ the show. Rainbow made an announcement that their band manager and album producer was another year older that night, the crowd cheered, then it was back to the show.

Backstage was another matter, although it was still a far cry from being back home. In place of celebrating with friends, dozens of random strangers all wanted to give Fluttershy their congratulations and call a toast in her name. She had to resort to taking very small sips every time someone did. They were only drinking beer, but she was expected to drink a lot of it.

It was different, but Fluttershy didn’t dislike it. She wouldn’t want to be the center of attention all the time, of course, but it made for a nice change of pace.

It also brought other perks with it. Normally Fluttershy had to seek out girls to flirt with, but on hearing it was her birthday, they came to her. It helped that her new appearance gave a much stronger lesbian vibe, so a lot of them came knowing exactly what they were after.

She was talking to just such a girl now. “Oh, I love Broken Mirror! I’ve listened to it on repeat so many times!”

Fluttershy smiled. Having written a minor punk hit wouldn’t go far most places, but backstage at a Bitchette show, it was a pretty amazing pickup line. “Thank you, I’m glad to hear it.”

“And I heard it’s your birthday, right?”

Fluttershy giggled. “Yup. Twenty-three.”

“Nice! Here let me get you a drink!”

Fluttershy picked up her beer from off a nearby counter. “Oh, I already have one.”

“Well then a toast.” The other girl raised her own drink, and Fluttershy bumped her plastic cup against it. “To a great night with a great new friend.”

Fluttershy giggled and took a drink. “I like the sound of that.”

“So what are you doing after here? You don’t have to leave for the next venue right away, do you?”

“No, I’m just going back to my hotel room.”

The girl bit her lip and smiled. “Well… Maybe we could go back together?”

Fluttershy grinned, but before she could answer, she saw something that stopped her. Or rather, someone. “Uhm, I’m sorry, that does sound nice, but I… just saw a friend of mine.”

“Oh.” The other girl frowned.

Fluttershy matched her expression. “I’m sorry, I thought I was free tonight, but I… Well, please excuse me.”

Fluttershy felt bad for turning her down so late into their flirting, but that didn’t stop her from walking away. Nor did it stop her from smiling as she greeted her friend. “Hey, Sonata.”

“Hi, Shy!” Sonata beamed. She had been lingering uncertainly on the sidelines when Fluttershy first saw her, but now her smile lit up the room. “I heard it’s your birthday!”

Fluttershy giggled and nodded. “But, uhm, between you and me… I’ve had enough drinking tonight. At least enough beer.”

Sonata giggled. “Glad everyone wants to be nice to the birthday girl.”

“Yeah. I’m glad to see you, though. When I didn’t see any sign of Adagio or Aria, I thought you wouldn’t show.”

“Yeah, they… they didn’t want to come.” Sonata’s smile faltered a little, and Fluttershy immediately saw why.

“You’re here without your visera?”

“Yeah, I…” Sonata blushed. “I wanted to see you.”

“Aww!” It may be true that Fluttershy didn’t exactly understand what it meant to be visera, but she understood well enough to realize this was a big deal. She held out her arms.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

Fluttershy blinked. “Uhm, offering a hug?”

“Oh. Really?” Sonata didn’t move to accept. “People never just… want to hug me.”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide and she moved in to hug Sonata. Even if she wasn’t used to hugs, Sonata quickly hugged her back. “You poor thing.”

“Well, I mean…” Sonata pulled away, but Fluttershy kept her hands on her arms. “I’ve hugged people before, of course. But usually they were, er… kind of under mind control a little bit?”

Although there was really nothing funny about that, Fluttershy laughed. “Well then, it’s about time you had a guilt free hug.”

Sonata smiled again, but she didn’t say anything. Fluttershy thought she understood why pretty well. “Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure!”

Although she had gotten a lot better at talking to Fluttershy, Sonata remained uncomfortable in large crowds. It probably wouldn’t help matters that _this_ crowd all wanted to approach Fluttershy for birthday wishes.

They walked up to the door, but they were stopped before they reached it. “Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy turned and smiled at Rainbow. “Hey, Dash. We’re just going for a walk.”

Rainbow looked at Sonata, and even if she hid it well, Fluttershy could tell there was distrust there. “But it’s your birthday. Everyone wants to party with you.”

“Dash, these people didn’t even know it was my birthday when they came here. They want to party with _you_ , and the rest of the band.

“I guess, but I just…” Rainbow rubbed her hand through her hair. “I kinda wanted to party with you, you know?”

“We’ll be back,” Fluttershy said. “We’re just going to get a little air. You know it’s too cold to stay out long anyway.”

“I guess. Just come back, yeah?”

“Of course.” Fluttershy waved at her and opened the door. She almost changed her mind when she felt the wind come in through it, but she didn’t want Sonata to be uncomfortable.

“Brr, chilly tonight,” Sonata said once they were outside.

“Yeah, it is.” Fluttershy rubbed her hands together to try and generate a little extra warmth.

Sonata picked a direction and they started walking in it. “We always talk about moving farther south to get away from the weather here.”

“Oh yeah? I like it around here. But I’m from farther north, so I’m used to things being a little colder.”

“Yeah, well…” Sonata looked up at the sky. “It’s not nice when you don’t have heat.”

“Oh…” Even when she was living in poverty, Fluttershy had always had heat.

“Well, the barroom does. We need it there or else we’d never get clients in the winter. On really cold nights, we bring blankets out and sleep in there.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure that was any better, but she didn’t know what to say exactly. “I guess I can see why you’d do that.”

Sonata didn’t seem to think much of it, just shrugging it off. “We were going to get a couch once, but Adagio and Aria kept arguing over who’d get to sleep on it if we did, so we didn’t bother.”

“You didn’t join in the fight for it?”

“Oh no, I’m sure I would never sleep in it.”

Fluttershy’s frown twitched. “Why not?”

“Well, Adagio’s the leader, so usually she gets the nicest things. _But_ Aria is also really cunning and super useful at handling problem clients and stuff, so sometimes she gets her way. Really, I’m just lucky to have them to look out for me.”

“Sonata…” Fluttershy searched for the right words, but she couldn’t find them. She stared at the way the wind blew around Sonata’s long hair and decided to do something else the siren wouldn’t be used to. She put her arm around Sonata as they walked.

“Shy?”

“Hmm.” Fluttershy smiled and blushed a little. “It’s cold.”

Sonata put her arm around Fluttershy as well. “Yeah, it is. Look at me, I’m turning blue!”

Fluttershy laughed and held Sonata a little tighter. They walked in silence for a little bit, heading straight down the street so that it would be easy to turn around and find their way back when they were done.

But Fluttershy didn’t want to be done, not really. It was cold as hell and she was ready to get into the warmth, but she liked being on Sonata’s arm.

At least, she liked it until she felt water droplets on her cheek. “Is it… raining?”

Sonata held out a hand. “I think so. We should turn back.”

“Yeah, it’s about time anyway.” Fluttershy suppressed a sigh and turned around. They’d had a nice walk and they would both benefit from getting into the heat.

They made it about halfway before the rain picked up. It was freezing, even colder than the air around them. They took to running instead, and they both laughed even as they were soaked by an ice-cold downpour.

That continued for a few minutes, but there was no sign of the venue. Soon enough, Sonata said what they were both thinking. “Where the heck is it?”

Fluttershy stopped and looked around, panting from the unexpected exercise. “Did we… did we pass it?”

Sonata held her hand over her eyes as an impromptu visor to keep the rain out of them and stared down the street. “I think we might’ve.”

“Oh, fuck it.” Fluttershy grabbed Sonata’s arm and pulled her under a restaurant’s canopy. They were closed and empty anyway, they weren’t likely to care about two waterlogged girls huddling together underneath it.

Fluttershy stood close to Sonata and pulled out her phone. “What do you say we go back to my hotel to dry off?”

“Is it okay? With the band, I mean?”

Fluttershy quirked her head to the side. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, you’re inviting someone like me to your band’s hotel room. I… don’t think they like me much.”

“Oh, shush. They just don’t know you.” Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Besides, I have my own hotel room.”

“Really? All to yourself?” Sonata frowned. “Doesn’t that get… lonely?”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure if she should point out how often she brought company to her room. “Well, sometimes I share a room with Lemon Zest. But I don’t really mind being by myself either.”

“I’d get lonely.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure what to say, but they still needed a taxi. She ordered one quickly, eager to get out of the rain, and they waited.

“I’m freezing…” Sonata said.

“Here, scoot closer.” The two of them held each other and huddled together for warmth, and possibly for other reasons. It proved to be a nice way to wait for the taxi, in any event.

It took about ten minutes for the taxi to get there, which they eagerly climbed in. “Sorry we’re a little wet,” Fluttershy said to the driver when they got in their seats.

“No worries,” he said. “Glad to get you girls out of the rain. Here, let me turn up the heat for you two.”

Both Fluttershy and Sonata stretched out their fingers in front of the air coming from the front of the car, grateful for the warmth. Still, Fluttershy looked forward to getting changed into dry clothes.

Along the way, Fluttershy talked to the driver about what they were doing out so late. She told him that they’d come from a concert and let him believe they were just fans. Sonata didn’t say much, but that was how she usually was around people she didn’t know.

It wasn’t a long drive to the hotel, but it was well worth it between the cold and the rain. When they arrived, Fluttershy used the app to give him a nice tip for his friendly demeanor and as an apology for getting his back seat all wet, then they quickly ran into the hotel building.

The hotel had its heat on, but it still felt cold on their wet skin. They wasted no time getting on the elevator and riding it up to Fluttershy’s floor.

“It’s been years since I was in a hotel,” Sonata said as they were on their way up. “We used to stay in them all the time.”

“Really?” Fluttershy cocked her head to the side. “Where do you your visera stay?”

Sonata looked confused at the question. “In the van with the equipment. Where else would we stay?”

Fluttershy’s mouth fell open and she felt like such an idiot. She had never thought about the fact that since they weren’t officially on the tour, the sirens didn’t get hotel accommodations from the record label.

Well, not for long. “I’ll pay for a hotel room for you all tonight. And every night. You shouldn’t be sleeping in a van…”

“Really?” Sonata’s face light up. “But… why?”

“Well, because I don’t want you sleeping out in the cold. You all must be freezing in there every night.”

“We’re used to it, remember? No heat at home either.”

“I don’t care. As long as you’re on this tour, you’re sleeping in hotel rooms.”

“Thank you…”

They reached the floor and Sonata seemed to be in a daze as they walked down the hall. Fluttershy unlocked the door to her room, walked in, and quickly pulled off her wet jacket. “I have some clothes you can borrow if you want to change into something dry.”

“Thank you, I’m freezing.”

Fluttershy dug out a pair of pajamas for herself, then turned back to Sonata. “Do you want pajamas or regu– Oh, uh…”

Sonata was just smiling at her as she pulled off her bra, seemingly indifferent to Fluttershy’s presence. “What was that?”

Fluttershy turned her back to Sonata to give her a bit of privacy and blushed a little. Still, she couldn’t keep a small smile from spreading across her lips. “I was asking if you wanted a pajama or regular clothes. Either way, they might be a bit big on you…”

“Either one works fine with me.”

It might make it a little awkward if Sonata didn’t stay the night with her, but Fluttershy chose a pair of pajamas for her. Well, that might have been _why_ Fluttershy chose pajamas.

By the time she turned around to hand Sonata the pajamas, she had stripped completely naked. Although Sonata really didn’t seem to care, Fluttershy averted her eyes as she changed into the pajamas.

There turned out to be another benefit to Sonata wearing her pajamas – she looked cute in them. They were too big for her so they hung loosely, but still, Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile once Sonata was all dressed.

When she was, she flopped onto the bed. Fluttershy took the chance to change herself, following suit in not bothering to excuse herself to the bathroom. It was a little strange. Fluttershy had gotten quite used to being naked with other girls, with being very intimate with them. And yet, here was something as innocent as changing clothes with a friend in the room, and she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

Not that Sonata did or said anything to make it awkward. She really seemed to just not think about it. Fluttershy wondered if it was a siren thing or just a Sonata thing.

Once she was dressed, Fluttershy called down the front desk and paid for another room. She felt a little guilty only getting them one, but Sonata insisted they would prefer that anyway. Afterwards, she called to the road crew to have them let the other sirens know the plan and arranged a ride for them to get to the hotel.

When she was finally done making calls, she sat down next to Sonata. “There, everything’s taken care of.”

“You’re so nice…” Sonata looked down for a second, almost looking sad about something. Then she shook it off and beamed with that smile that always lit the room. “Thank you so much!”

“I guess people being nice to you is another thing you’re not too used to?”

“No, not really.”

“You all haven’t been in this world for too long, though.”

Sonata chuckled. “We’ve been here a _lot_ longer than the Battle of the Bands.”

Fluttershy quirked her head. Sonata looked like she was about the same age as Fluttershy, how long could it have been? “How long ago did you come here?” She supposed it wouldn’t be the first time an Equestrian was aged down coming through the portal.

“About a thousand years or so.”

Fluttershy laughed. “No, really.”

Sonata frowned. “Really really. We were banished from Equestria by Star Swirl the Bearded, about a millennium ago.”

Fluttershy blinked. She’d heard and seen a lot of crazy things when it came to Equestria, but to think that Sonata might really be that old was just… “You’re really not joking?”

“Nope. I mean, what kind of joke would that even be? Hey, I’m super old, psyche!”

It slowly sunk in that Sonata was being completely serious. Somehow this girl that Fluttershy had pegged as being a little younger than herself was actually a thousand years old. “Wow.”

“Do you have any snacks?”

Fluttershy smiled. A thousand years old or not, Sonata could be wonderfully childish. “I’ll order us something, okay?”

After a bit of discussion on what to get, Fluttershy placed an order for pizza from a chain restaurant. She ordered a bottle of soda and two medium pizzas, so they could each have their preferred toppings – veggie lovers for Fluttershy and seafood for Sonata.

But once that was settled, Fluttershy couldn’t help but have some questions. “So what’s it like to have been alive for that long?”

Sonata just shrugged. She was lying on the bed and flipping through a magazine that had been in the room when Fluttershy had checked in. “It all kind of blurs together after a while. I can remember the last hundred years or so pretty clearly, but just fuzzy details before that.”

“That’s still just… wow. The things you must have seen in your life.”

“Fluttershy…” Sonata put down the magazine and frowned at her. “You know I was the bad guy, right? We weren’t out seeing all this cool stuff, we were making terrible things happen.”

Fluttershy usually tried not to think about that. “I guess so…”

“I just… don’t want you to forget what I am.”

Fluttershy took Sonata’s hands in her own. “What you _were_. You’re not like that anymore.”

“Yeah…”

Fluttershy bowed her head. “Would… you do it again? If you still had your gemstones, would you still manipulate people?”

“I… I don’t know.” Sonata pulled her hands away and got off the bed. She folded her arms and looked at the ground as she paced around. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Sonata, you won’t.” Fluttershy got up as well and placed her hands on Sonata’s shoulders to hold her in place. Sonata still wouldn’t look at her, but Fluttershy knew they were taking things a step at a time. “You don’t even have to answer me. What matters now is that you’re here and you’re my friend.”

“I like being friends with you.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Me too.”

“I… I don’t regret it. I think I should, but I don’t feel bad about what we did.”

“I see.” It would be a lie to say Fluttershy had hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but now that it was… She found she didn’t care as much as she thought she would. “Do you regret the way things ended up?”

Sonata finally looked at her and smiled. “No. I used to, but now… I guess I see that there are good things to being a regular girl too.”

Fluttershy smiled, but before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door. She let go of Sonata to answer it. A pizza delivery guy was on the other side, so Fluttershy took the pizzas and soda and signed the receipt, then went back inside and decided to make sure the rest of the night’s conversation was more fun.

She set the pizzas down on a table and opened one to check it. She closed the box and passed it to Sonata. “Here’s your seafood special.”

Sonata licked her lips and pulled out a slice, which she instantly burned her mouth on. “It’s hot!”

Fluttershy giggled. “It just got here, Sonata. Here, have some soda.” She got them some of the disposable cups the hotel left in the room and poured them each a soda.

“Thanks,” Sonata said as she took one of them. She took a drink, then went right back to the pizza.

Fluttershy shook her head and opened her own pizza, pulling a few pieces apart so they’d cool faster.

“I love seafood,” Sonata said as she ate. “Do you want some?”

“No thanks. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh.” Sonata looked down at her slice of pizza. “Does it bother you that I’m eating this?”

“No, it’s fine.” Fluttershy finally took a bite of one of her own slices.

“I couldn’t imagine being a vegetarian. We used to be carnivorous, though.”

“Oh?” Fluttershy took another bite of pizza. “What do you mean?”

“Back in Equestria. Sirens are carnivores. We mostly lived on fish.”

“Guess that explains why you love seafood.”

Sonata nodded. “Yup! It reminds me a little of home.”

Fluttershy wondered if she was crossing a line back to downer conversations, but she couldn’t help but ask once the question popped in her head. “Do you still miss it? Equestria?”

“Not really. Aria does, but Adagio and I both got used to living here.”

Fluttershy smiled, glad that hadn’t wound up being a touchy question. Not sure what else to talk about, she got the remote from a bedside table and turned on the TV.

“Is this okay?” Fluttershy asked when she stopped at a cartoon. It seemed like something Sonata would enjoy.

“Sure! I never really watch TV much anyway.”

As she expected, Sonata seemed enraptured in the cartoon. She laughed loudly at the jokes and smiled constantly, which Fluttershy loved to see.

“I’m glad you came to see me,” Fluttershy said after a while.

“Me too. It’s been a fun night.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yeah, it has.”

“Even if I did stop you from bringing that cute girl back here…”

“Oh, uh… you heard all that, then?”

Sonata shifted awkwardly. “Yeah, I did. And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Tonight has been a lot more fun than some meaningless sex would’ve been.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Fluttershy regretted bringing attention to it. Sonata didn’t seem to mind, though. “I don’t really like meaningless sex much either.”

“I… I do usually.” Fluttershy wasn’t sure why, but she felt compelled to be honest. “I actually… have a lot of meaningless sex.”

Thankfully, Sonata just laughed. “So do Adagio and Aria. Only for the last few years though.”

“Oh. Is it something to do with losing your gemstones?”

“Yeah, I think so. We used to thrive on people needing us. Sex is kind of similar.”

Fluttershy nodded. She was in no position to judge; she did the same thing time and again. “But not you?”

“Oh, I like sex too. It’s just… that’s not the same as before. It’s not _really_ being needed. Or at least, not how I want to be needed.”

Fluttershy looked down at her pizza, but she didn’t really see it. The words seemed to leave her lips without her willing them to. “What about… an actual relationship?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Fluttershy slowly traced her eyes over the bed and settled them on Sonata. She was looking up with eyes full of wonder, but not because of what Fluttershy was saying. That was just Sonata. She found wonder in everything, and maybe even somehow, she found it in Fluttershy. “Would a relationship be how you want to be needed?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been in a real relationship. You know, with no mind control or anything like that.”

“That’s a shame.” Fluttershy lips flicked to a smile briefly. “You’re a great friend, and I think you’d be a great girlfriend. If you ever wanted to be.”

“I don’t know. I’m forgetful, and I say weird stuff, and I’m just… not the kind of person people look for a relationship with.”

“Neither am I,” Fluttershy said. “I drink too much, I’m married to my job, I haven’t been pretty in years, not since I got so fat, I –”

“Whoa!” Sonata launched herself across the bed and threw her arms around Fluttershy’s stomach. “Don’t talk about yourself like that! You’re beautiful!”

Fluttershy smiled and brushed her hand across Sonata’s hair. It was still damp from the rain. “Thank you, but it’s okay, I know I’m –”

“No!” Sonata looked up with Fluttershy with the most adorable pout. “Please don’t say mean things about yourself! You’re my friend, and you’re like, super pretty!”

“Okay.” Fluttershy kept stroking Sonata’s hair. “I won’t say mean things about myself.”

“Good.” Sonata nuzzled in closer to Fluttershy. “Hey, Shy… Did you maybe want to try being in –”

“No.” Fluttershy winced as the word left her mouth and she froze in place. She hadn’t meant to, she hadn’t even let Sonata finish the sentence. But she knew what it was. “I’m sorry. I… I’m sending mixed messages. I… I like you, Sonata. I really do. But I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“Relationships.”

“Oh.”

They were both quiet for a moment, with Fluttershy kicking herself the whole time. She had clearly been leading them to a relationship discussion for a while, this was all her fault that they were here.

Suddenly, Sonata looked up at Fluttershy and grinned. “Well, do you want to try _not_ being in a relationship together?”

“Uhm.” Fluttershy couldn’t help but laugh a little. “We’re already not in a relationship together.”

“No, like. Not like not being in one with each other, but like not being in a relationship, right? But we do it together!”

“I… don’t understand. How do we do that?”

“Like this!” Sonata popped her head up and kissed Fluttershy, leaving her momentarily dazed. “But we’re not dating.”

Fluttershy blinked and tried to process what had just happened. She wasn’t able to, but that didn’t stop her from kissing Sonata again.

Fluttershy leaned in and Sonata responded by lying back in the bed. She ran her fingers through Fluttershy’s hair as they kissed, and Fluttershy felt so overwhelmed with emotions she couldn’t even begin to identify.

All she knew was that she was not in a relationship with Sonata Dusk.

And she liked that very much.


	12. Rocking the Status Quo

#### Chapter Twelve

## Rocking the Status Quo

It wasn’t about sex. Not really. The sex was nice, of course, but that wasn’t the point. It was about the closeness. It was about the openness. It was about forgetting. It was about warmth. It was about being held. It was about holding someone. It was about not having nightmares for at least one night.

That’s why each night, after every show, Fluttershy would take Sonata up to her hotel room. And then in the day, Fluttershy would go back to the band and Sonata would go back to her visera.

And that was how things were for the two weeks that followed Fluttershy’s birthday. And in that time, Fluttershy felt a fog that she hadn’t even been aware of begin to lift. Things became a little easier, just a little bit clearer.

She even woke up with a smile on her face most days. It helped that she got to wake and see Sonata still sleeping beside her. The siren liked to sleep in, which was rarely an option with their tour schedule. And so every morning had its own little routine.

Fluttershy opened her eyes and smiled at Sonata’s sleeping face. She was still snoring lightly. Fluttershy scooted closer and planted a kiss on her cheek, which got Sonata to grumble and turn away from her.

“Come on,” Fluttershy said softly as she moved in ever closer, curling herself against Sonata, enjoying the skin to skin contact of their naked bodies pressed against one another. “Rise and shine, dear.”

“Five more minutes…” Sonata mumbled.

Fluttershy giggled. “And in five minutes, you’ll want five more.”

“Well, yeah…”

Fluttershy kissed Sonata’s neck. “Want me to help you wake up?”

Sonata turned to her and opened her eyes. “What did you have in mind.”

Fluttershy kissed her neck again. “Oh, you know.” She moved a little lower to kiss her collarbone. “I’m sure we could think of _something_.”

Sonata giggled. “Naughty, Shy. Well, if you insist…”

Fluttershy moved a little lower, pulling the blanket out of the way. Before she could get anywhere fun, however, the door opened. Fluttershy instinctively moved under the blanket, but Sonata didn’t bother, despite her bare chest being exposed.

“Shy, it’s time to go,” Lemon Zest said. “You slept in again.”

“You could knock,” Fluttershy told her, not for the first time.

“Yeah, I could,” Lemon Zest said with a grin. “But embarrassing you gets you moving faster.”

Fluttershy wanted to throw something at her, but that would mean leaving the safety of the blankets. It didn’t matter, since Lemon Zest left quickly anyway. At least she shut the door before walking away this time.

With a sigh, Fluttershy turned to Sonata. “Sorry, looks like we’ll have to take a raincheck on that wake-up call.”

“Does that mean I get to go back to bed then?” Sonata asked hopefully.

Fluttershy just rolled her eyes as she answered. “Come on.” She got up and tossed Sonata her clothes, then found a fresh change of clothes for herself. “Why don’t you just pack your spare clothes with mine? You spend every night with me anyway.”

“I don’t know, I’m lazy?” Sonata said as she got dressed. “All my clothes are already packed on the van.”

“Wait… do you get dressed on the van with all the roadies?”

Sonata smirked. “Would you be jealous if I said yes?”

Fluttershy frowned. “No, just worried about you. I mean they all seem nice, but I don’t want any of the guys getting the wrong idea about you.”

Finished getting dressed, Sonata borrowed Fluttershy’s hairbrush. She only kept it around for Sonata these days anyway. “Relax, Aria would never allow that anyway. She makes everyone get out when we’re changing.”

Fluttershy never thought she’d find something to be grateful towards Aria for. “That’s good.”

Since her daily upkeep just amounted to getting dressed ever since she chopped her hair off, Fluttershy was ready sooner than Sonata. She took a seat on the bed beside her and looked closely at her. “You have something on your face.”

“Huh? What?”

“This.” Fluttershy leaned in quick and kissed Sonata, causing her to giggle.

Since Fluttershy never bothered to unpack more than her hairbrush and phone charger, there was no real packing to worry about. Sonata finished brushing her hair, then the two of them left the room together.

On the way down, Fluttershy felt the familiar tug. It wasn’t a big deal. She knew that she’d have a fun day with the band and that Sonata would be back in the evening. But still, part of her wished it didn’t have to end.

But then, did it? “Hey, Sona?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna ride with us on the tour bus today?”

Sonata gave her a familiar look, so Fluttershy knew the question before she asked it. “Are you sure that’s –”

“Yes, I’m sure it’s okay.” Okay didn’t really sell it well enough, though. “In fact, I’m sure the others would love to get to know you better.”

Sonata was quiet as they walked, and Fluttershy thought she knew why. Or rather, she knew two possible reasons, and knew it might be both at once. For one thing, Sonata felt strange about being away from her visera. Even sleeping away from them sometimes gave her anxiety attacks that Fluttershy would have to calm her down from. And then there was the fact that Sonata was never sure of herself in groups. True, it would be a small group, but it might still be too big for the socially inept siren.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Fluttershy said brightly as they stepped into the elevator. She meant it, too. She’d like for Sonata to join them, but she didn’t want to push her friend.

“I want to, I just…”

Fluttershy’s hand found Sonata’s and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it this time, but if you want to another day, you’re always welcome.”

They continued holding hands as they walked. By the time they reached the lobby, everyone else was already there waiting for them. That included Aria and Adagio, although the two of them made no efforts to be part of the rest of the group. Even when Sonata came down, they seemed wholly uninterested.

Since everyone else was present, all that there was left to do was for Fluttershy to check out of her own room, then she joined the others. “How’d everyone sleep?”

“Pretty good,” Gilda said. “I’d ask how you slept, but those hotel walls are thin so I know you didn’t.”

Fluttershy blushed, but it was Rainbow who answered. “Okay! _So_ let’s get a move on then!”

Everyone laughed as Rainbow led the way out of the room, Adagio and Aria following at a distance. Windfall hung back a little to be next to Fluttershy and Sonata, and Fluttershy thought it was to tease her some more until he said, “Good morning, Sonata.”

“Oh, uh, good morning.”

“Doing alright today?”

Sonata looked to Fluttershy for help, but she just smiled encouragingly. After a moment, Sonata smiled as well and said, “I’m okay. How are you?”

“Good. Wish I got a little more sleep, but oh well.”

“Yeah, me too.” Sonata nudged Fluttershy. “Shy wouldn’t let me sleep in.”

“We both slept in,” Fluttershy reminded her. “I woke you up, like, two minutes before Zest would’ve.”

“Hey, two minutes is two minutes, right?” Windfall asked.

“Yup!” Sonata said, but she was smiling broadly. Fluttershy was smiling too. It was great to see her talking with someone outside of her comfort zone.

The tour bus had been brought around to the front to load the band, and the band filed in. Fluttershy lingered to give Sonata a hug before she left; the sirens would have to walk to the parking lot to get to the van that the equipment was hauled in.

“Come on, Sonata,” Adagio said when they caught up to the others at the bus.

“Uh, actually…” Sonata looked to Fluttershy, then smiled at Adagio. “Fluttershy invited me to go on the tour bus with them.”

“She _what?_ ” Aria’s eye twitched as she stared at Fluttershy.

“I’ll see you two at the venue,” Sonata said.

“Fine,” Adagio said. She didn’t seem happy, but then, she rarely did unless she was manipulating someone or something. She walked away, and Aria could only stare daggers before walking after her.

Fluttershy felt a little guilty for splitting them up, but there was no way in hell she was asking Adagio and Aria to join them on the bus. Besides, she suspected this distance was doing a world of good for Sonata, who didn’t seem to have as great of a relationship with them as she thought she did.

“I’m glad you decided to come,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, it sounds like fun!”

Fluttershy smiled as she led them onto the bus.

“Alright, Shy,” Rainbow said when she entered. Rainbow’s back was turned to her as she was setting up a game on the TV. “We’re gonna have a rematch race, and I’m _totally_ gonna win this time!”

“A race?” Sonata said. “Oh, is that one of those videogame thingies?”

Rainbow wheeled around at Sonata’s voice and stared at her. Fluttershy stared too, but likely for an entirely different reason. “Don’t tell me you’ve never played a videogame before?” Fluttershy asked.

“Nope! Well, I’ve played some arcade games. Do those count?”

“Basically the same thing,” Windfall said. “Welcome to the tour bus, Sonata.”

“Thanks!”

Fluttershy led them to a seat while Rainbow finally thought to close her jaw. “What is she doing here?”

Fluttershy glared at her. “Don’t be rude, Dash.” She hoped the rest of her message was conveyed wordlessly. Don’t ruin this for me.

“Sonata, right?” Lemon Zest asked, sticking out her hand. “I’m Lemon Zest. Nice to formally meet you.”

Sonata shook her hand and wore an innocent smile as she said, “You’ve seen me naked, like, three times. We’re basically best friends already.”

It seemed only Fluttershy was embarrassed since Lemon Zest just laughed. She gestured to the others in turn. “You know Windfall already, I guess. Gilda’s trying to ignore us and Dash is the one who’s about to get her ass handed to her in another race. Seriously, none of the rest of us will race against Shy anymore.”

“Ooh, you’re good?” Sonata asked.

“I’m okay,” Fluttershy said with a grin. She turned to Rainbow. “Are you gonna set it up.”

Rainbow seemed to be studying Fluttershy’s expression, and she made a very wise choice based on what she saw. “Yeah, just gimme a minute.”

Rainbow set up the game, and they took turns playing. As Lemon Zest predicted, Fluttershy won again, but Rainbow came a bit closer than she had before, so she seemed content. Sonata took a turn and spent most of the time driving off ledges and going the wrong way, so she decided to just watch after that.

They had a fun time. After the racing game, they played a few others, Sonata watching while hanging on Fluttershy’s arm the whole time. She didn’t talk much to anyone other than Fluttershy, but she slowly seemed to be getting used to the group.

“Damn, look at Fluttershy go flying!” Gilda said after she knocked her out in a fighting game. The two of them, Lemon Zest, and Windfall were playing it in a free for all match.

“This one’s not my favorite,” Fluttershy said after her third consecutive loss at it.

Sonata chuckled. “Aww, you can’t be good at all of them.”

“Zest can,” Windfall grumbled.

Lemon Zest snickered as she knocked Windfall’s character out of the ring. “What can I say, I’m an expert.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Rainbow said as she watched Gilda and Lemon Zest go head to head. “I’m playing next, and I’ll totally own her ass!”

“You’ll own her ass?” Sonata said. “I didn’t think you swung that way, but go Rainbow!”

On the one hand, Fluttershy was proud Sonata had jumped into the conversation with someone other than herself. On the other, Rainbow was probably the worst person on the bus she could choose to poke fun at.

“I don’t,” Rainbow said flatly.

“My ass is pretty great,” Lemon Zest said. “It could convert you.”

“Please, your ass isn’t that good,” Gilda said as she furiously pressed buttons to avoid falling out of the arena. “Someone back me up here.”

“Don’t look at me,” Windfall said with a slight smile. “As the only dude here, I’m legally not allowed to enter this conversation.”

“Or legally _required_ to!” Lemon Zest said. “Come on, you can say it. I have a nice ass.”

“Windfall, if you say she has a nice ass, I’m holding it against you,” Gilda said.

Windfall smirked. “See, this is why I can’t get involved.”

“Fucking damn it!” Gilda jumped to her feet as her character was knocked off the screen.

Lemon Zest raised her fist triumphantly. “And the winner is the girl with the ass to turn Rainbow gay!”

“No one’s ass is turning me gay!” Rainbow said.

“Aww come on,” Lemon Zest said. “Not even a little?”

Rainbow smirked. “Look, if Applejack’s ass didn’t do it, no one’s will. Girl can bench a god damn truck, okay?”

Everyone burst into laughter, and Fluttershy felt a little better. Rainbow was taking part in their jokes, which probably meant she wasn’t upset at Sonata for starting it.

“This is great,” Sonata said, turning to smile at Fluttershy. “I’m so glad you invited me. I just can’t believe how well you all get along! Travelling with Adagio and Aria is nothing like this.”

“I’m glad you decided to come,” Fluttershy said. “And you’re welcome to ride with us again, you know.”

Rainbow coughed, but she didn’t say anything. Fluttershy pursed her lips and hoped that Sonata wouldn’t think anything of it.

“Yeah, we get along pretty well,” Windfall said. He must have had the same thought as Fluttershy, because he was fixing Rainbow with a stern look. “Usually.”

Rainbow sighed. “I said I was sorry.”

Oh, Windfall wasn’t looking at her because of Sonata. It was because…

Oh.

Shit.

Fluttershy had never talked to Windfall that Rainbow had wanted to apologize about the lead guitar thing. That was already three weeks ago now…

“Uhm.” Fluttershy cleared her throat. She hadn’t prepared for this at all, but they might as well address the situation. Better than let it fester anymore than it already had… “Windfall, did you want to talk about something?”

“No,” Windfall said and turned away.

“Come on, don’t be like that!” Rainbow said.

Gilda groaned. “Okay, this shit has gone on long enough. You two _need_ to talk this out. Dash, you were a bitch before. Windfall, you’re being an ass about it now.”

“I can agree with that,” Rainbow said, then soon thought better of it. “I mean the bitch part.”

Windfall sighed. “I just wanted to play lead on some songs.”

“Okay.” Rainbow nodded. “Okay, I’m with that. When we get to writing the third album, you can play lead on some songs. Absolutely. Happy now?”

“What about live?” Windfall asked.

Rainbow seemed confused. “Of course, you’ll play lead on those songs live too.”

“I meant _now_.”

“What?” Rainbow shook her head. “It’s not even personal, it’s just like, we have our setlist all rehearsed, you know?”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t shake things up,” Lemon Zest said.

Sonata leaned in towards Fluttershy and spoke quietly. “What’s going on?”

Fluttershy sighed. “Windfall wants to play lead sometimes. We all agree he can, but now we’re just trying to figure out how.”

“Oh.” Sonata thought for a moment then shrugged. “Why don’t you both just be the lead guitarist?”

Rainbow’s eye twitched. “Do you know how ‘lead’ guitar works? We can switch out who’s lead on different songs, but we can’t _both_ be lead.”

“That actually gives me an idea,” Gilda said with a grin. “You can absolutely both be lead and the crowd will eat that shit up.”

“Uh, how?” Windfall asked.

“Guitar battle!”

Windfall grinned. “That sounds really cool, actually.”

“Then you’ll both be in the spotlight,” Fluttershy said, looking meaningfully at Rainbow. She knew that when it came down to it, that’s what this really was about.

For some reason, it was Sonata whom Rainbow directed her frown towards. “We still haven’t rehearsed that. We have a setlist that we stick to, that’s how our shows are consistently good.”

Sonata shrugged. “You play for like half an hour before every show. Why not practice it then?”

“That’s a soundcheck.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It’s an important part of making sure our performance is perfect.”

“But it _is_ a good place to practice something too,” Lemon Zest said. “I mean, we’ve done that before. Rotated songs through our setlist and used soundchecks to work the kinks out.”

“I agree,” Fluttershy said. “I wouldn’t want you adding anything you’re not ready for, but I think coming up with a guitar battle routine on one of your songs during your soundchecks is a good idea.”

“Yeah, of course you do,” Rainbow muttered.

Fluttershy stood up. Sonata was quick to follow suit, so Fluttershy turned to her and smiled. “I’m going to talk to Rainbow in private. Give me a moment?”

“Oh, of course!” Sonata sat back down, and Fluttershy turned to Rainbow.

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow stood up and walked to the back of the bus.

Fluttershy closed the door behind them, giving them privacy. “Rainbow, what’s gotten into you? I thought you were ready to work with Windfall on this?”

“I am, I just think this isn’t the right way to do it.”

Fluttershy frowned and folded her arms. “Be honest. Is this because Sonata was the one who suggested it?”

“What? No.”

Fluttershy wasn’t convinced. “Don’t pretend you don’t like her.”

“I _don’t_ like her,” Rainbow said. “But I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because _you_ like her. So give me a little credit, I’m not always the bad guy.”

“I’m not trying to make you the bad guy!”

“What do you want from me, Shy?” Rainbow held out her arms then let them fall back to her sides. “I’m trying to be friendly with your girlfriend even though she tried to control the whole school. God, is that just your type or something?”

“No!” Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “And Sonata isn’t my girlfriend. We’re just taking things as they come.”

“You’re fucking her, Shy!” Rainbow threw out her hands. “Call it what you want but Christ, don’t blame me for not knowing what’s up.”

“Fine. Whatever. I just want to know why you’re shooting this down?”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets. “But I’m clearly outvoted, so fuck it, I’ll go along with it. As long as we don’t play it until it’s ready, I don’t care anymore.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath. It wasn’t really the win she was hoping for, but she’d take it. “Alright. Good.”

“I’m going to sleep.” Rainbow kicked off her shoes and climbed into one of the cots. “Tell the others that we’re good, alright?”

“Okay.”

“And maybe don’t forget and leave me hanging this time?”

Fluttershy winced. She wanted to be angry at Rainbow for the comment, but she had a point. “I’m sorry…”

“Yeah, whatever. Have fun with Sonata.”

Fluttershy wanted to say something snippy to that comment too, but it wouldn’t get her anywhere. She couldn’t help being angry at it, though. “I’m sure I will.”

Fluttershy opened the door and stepped back into the main part of the bus. The others all looked at her expectantly, except for Gilda who didn’t look up from her phone. Fluttershy smiled at them “Rainbow agreed to the guitar battle.”

“How much did you have to twist her arm?” Windfall asked.

Fluttershy frowned. “She agreed. Please don’t drag it on anymore.”

Windfall sighed. “Fine.”

Fluttershy sat down next to Sonata, who leaned against her. “Wow, you’re really good at your job.”

“What?”

“Well, everyone was upset and you smoothed it over.” Sonata placed her hand on one of Fluttershy’s cheeks and kissed the other. “That’s like, what you do, right?”

Fluttershy smiled at her. “Yeah, that’s what I do.”

Rainbow would come around. They could fight, but in the end, Rainbow would always have Fluttershy’s back. That’s how it always was for them, and how it always would be. Fluttershy believed in that, she believed it because she had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunset: Magically manipulates students into zombie army.  
> The Dazzlings: Magically manipulate students into fighting each other.  
> Fluttershy: “That’s my kink!”


	13. Playing Nice

#### Chapter Thirteen

## Playing Nice

It was so sickening. Rainbow hated watching the way Sonata clung to Fluttershy’s arm like that, the way they smiled at one another all the time, the way they just seemed so perfect together.

Because no matter how they looked, Sonata was _not_ what she seemed to be. She wasn’t perfect for Fluttershy, and she wasn’t their friend. For fuck’s sake, she wasn’t even human!

“Remember, today’s a special day,” Fluttershy said to the _thing_ hanging off her. “It’s very important to me.”

“Aww, every day’s special with you!” Sonata said. Rainbow had to suppress the urge to gag.

Fluttershy seemed to be immune to the sickeningly sweet Sonata, as she just giggled. “Well, today’s extra special. We haven’t seen Rarity in years.”

Rainbow resisted the urge to tell Sonata that meant she shouldn’t mess it up for them. She was trying to be nice to Fluttershy’s girlfr– her ‘friend’.

Still, she was afraid Sonata’s presence alone would be enough to mess things up. How would she react to the fact that the band hung out with a siren these days? She wondered if Fluttershy had even warned her about it.

It was important that this day be awesome, since they barely ever got to see Rarity. The last time they had was when they were still touring for their first album. They hoped to break into European touring soon to be able to visit her in her own city, but until then, they were limited to when she was able to take a trip to the States.

Not that there was anything Rainbow could do about it. Fluttershy was insistent on dragging Sonata around with them, even on the tour bus. And since Rainbow was trying to respect Fluttershy’s decisions, her hands were tied on the matter.

And even if she could think of some solution, it didn’t matter. The bus was pulling up to the venue to drop them off, so there was no time left to do anything. Ready or not, it was time.

“Rarity said she’d already be here, right?” Rainbow asked as the bus came to a stop.

“Yeah, she said she’d be waiting,” Fluttershy said. They normally liked to pick Rarity up at the airport, but her flight arrived sooner than they could arrive at the city, so they decided to meet up at the venue.

And now it was time to do just that. Everyone rose and filed out of the bus, Rainbow and Fluttershy leading the way. No sooner did they step outside than they heard a squeal that could only come from one person.

“Fluttershy, darling, what happened to your coiffure!?”

Rainbow couldn’t help but smile at the look of horror on Rarity’s face. She debated pulling out her phone to get a picture of it, but before she could act, Rarity was already running over towards them.

She ran right past Rainbow and buried her hands in what little remained of Fluttershy’s hair. Fluttershy just grinned good-naturedly. “I wanted a change. I think it looks –”

“Rainbow!” Rarity wheeled around to fix a glare on her. “Is this your doing!?”

“No!” Rainbow shot a dirty look at Gilda, who was watching the drama unfold with a wide grin. “Gilda was the one who –”

“Oh, my sweet little butterfly…” Rarity turned away from Rainbow and threw her arms protectively around Fluttershy’s head, pulling it close to her heart. “What did they do to you!?”

“Nothing!” Fluttershy insisted. “I wanted to do this!”

“Besides, it looks _super_ cute!” Sonata said.

Rarity seemed to notice Sonata for the first time. It was clear she didn’t need any reminder of whom she was looking at, as she took a step back and her mouth fell open. Rainbow suspected if she didn’t already have snow-white skin she would’ve gone pale.

“Uhm, hello there.”

Ever the idiot, Sonata seemed to be completely oblivious to Rarity’s reaction. “Hi! I’m Sonata! Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand for Rarity to shake.

Rarity ignored her hand, which brought a smile to Rainbow’s face. In place of shaking Sonata’s hand, Rarity grabbed Fluttershy and Rainbow by the wrists and dragged them away. “Please excuse us for a moment.”

Sonata turned to Windfall. “Was it something I said?”

They didn’t hear Windfall’s reaction, since they were dragged away by Rarity. They walked a fair distance, then Rarity turned to look at the two of them. “What is a Dazzling doing here?”

Fluttershy smiled while Rainbow frowned. “She’s a friend now,” Fluttershy said.

Rainbow held her tongue.

“A friend?” Rarity looked at Sonata and frowned. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

Fluttershy lost her smile as she stared into Rarity’s eyes. “It’s no different than Sunset. People change.”

“Yes, well…” Rarity was still frowning, but she couldn’t seem to meet Fluttershy’s eyes. “I suppose people do change.”

“All of the Dazzlings are on the tour with us,” Rainbow said. They might as well not beat around the bush, Rarity would probably see them all at some point. “Sonata’s the only one that any of us are friends with, though.”

“They’re on the tour?” Rarity asked. “Certainly not as musicians?”

“No, as roadies,” Rainbow said. “Well, except Sonata. I don’t think she actually does much work these days.”

“That’s not fair.” Fluttershy turned her frown on Rainbow. “She still helps her visera at every show. Besides, they’re not here to help us. They’re tracking Equestrian magic.”

“Equestrian magic!?” Rarity threw her hand over her mouth. “But, darling, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because you have your own lives now,” Fluttershy said. “And the sirens have it under control. I won’t say that they’re all nice people, but they’re not evil anymore. They’re trying to do good.”

“Tch, more like trying to save their asses,” Rainbow said. “Adagio told us she only cared about the magic because it was a threat to them as well.”

“It doesn’t matter why they’re doing it, the point is they’re the good guys this time.”

Rarity frowned, but she clearly picked up that this was a sensitive subject. “I suppose as long as you’re sure this is for the best…”

“I am.” Fluttershy found her smile again. “I’ve been looking forward to you getting the chance to get to know Sonata.”

Rarity hesitated for a moment, then she smiled as well. “Well then, let’s get back to the others then, shall we?”

Fluttershy’s smile grew as she turned around to lead the way back. Rainbow was concerned that Rarity was already buying into it after one little conversation, but then before following Fluttershy, Rarity turned to Rainbow with a worried expression.

But all Rainbow could do was roll her eyes and jerk her head in Fluttershy’s direction. At least Rarity seemed to get the message, because she nodded before walking back to the others.

If Rarity saw it too, maybe she could help Rainbow convince Fluttershy that something was going on. But that would have to wait. Right now, it was time to play nice with the enemy once more.

With some reluctance, Rainbow followed behind to join the group. Rarity was addressing Sonata. “Terribly sorry, that was very rude of me. I was just, er…”

“Aww, it’s okay.” Sonata shrugged. “I know we must not be your favorite people.”

Rarity’s smile was effortless. If it wasn’t for the look she had given Rainbow just a minute ago, it would be impossible to tell that she had any doubts at all. “Now now, as Fluttershy just reminded me, everyone deserves a second chance. I for one am looking forward to getting to know you.”

Sonata beamed. “Me too! Fluttershy told me a lot about you.”

“We always were quite close.” Rarity sighed. “It’s been hard being away from her and all of my other friends.”

“Fluttershy said you’re living in France, right? On a vécu là-bas!”

“Ah!” Rarity broke into a grin. “Quand exactement?”

“Oh… il y a deux cent ans plus ou moins?” Sonata grinned. “Mais au moins je me souviens de la langue!”

Rarity blinked in confusion at whatever Sonata had said. “Beg your pardon, but you lived in France two hundred years ago?”

As usual, Sonata didn’t seem to think anything of the weird things she said. “Yeah, but we kinda needed to get out of there fast. Then we went to England for a bit, but decided it might be best to get out of Europe completely.”

“You can’t be serious,” Rarity said.

“Remember, Sonata is an Equestrian,” Fluttershy said as she took Sonata’s hand. “She’s a siren. They live a lot longer than we do.”

“I see,” Rarity said simply.

Gilda laughed. “Yeah, we don’t really get it either. But she makes Shy happy, so whatever, right?”

“Oh, well, she’s not the first Equestrian I’ve met. It’s just that Sunset and Princess Twilight never said anything about living hundreds of years.”

“Hold on, Sunset like your ex?” Lemon Zest asked. “Oh shit, was she that crazy chick who got all super big and fought with… hold on, Twilight is _not_ a princess. She’s not even an Equestrian!”

Fluttershy chuckled. “It was a different Twilight.”

“Oh, they probably didn’t say because they’re both ponies,” Sonata said. “Ponies live about as long as humans do. Well, most of them, anyway.”

“They’re… ponies…?” Gilda shook her head. “Fuck it, I’m going inside. Y’all can come and get me when you decide to make sense.”

“I wanna know,” Lemon Zest said. “I was at the Friendship Games, and that shit was insane. I want to understand it better, no matter how crazy it sounds.”

“Oh boy.” Rainbow put her hands behind her head. “We’re gonna be here for a while. Maybe we should knock out the soundcheck first?”

“Alright, but you’re not getting out of this!” Lemon Zest let the others lead the way inside, where they split into two groups. The band met up with Gilda and made their way to the stage to perform their soundcheck, while Fluttershy, Sonata, and Rarity all took seats in the audience and kept talking.

“So is all that stuff true?” Windfall asked while they got their instruments out. “About… whatever it’s called? The magic place?”

“Equestria,” Rainbow said, knowing full well how dumb the whole thing must sound to the others. “And yeah, it is. Well, I don’t know shit about Sonata and her story, but the stuff about Sunset coming from there is true. Rarity was there, she saw it all too.”

“Wow.”

Rainbow eyed Windfall uncertainly. “What, do you actually believe it now?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Windfall shrugged. “It’s just that more and more people keep talking about it. You, Zest, Shy, those three girls, now Rarity.”

“Next time we’re in Everton, I can show you a ton of people who saw magic with their own eyes. But for now, let’s get this soundcheck done.”

The band launched into one of their songs to test the venue sound system and set the levels they wanted for the show. They mostly played it straight until they got to the song’s solo, which was radically different. Instead of a straightforward solo played by Rainbow, she and Windfall alternated playing mini solos in their own styles.

She hated to admit it, but… it sounded good. And it was sounding better each day they worked on it. Windfall was a great guitarist, and Rainbow was forced to push herself to keep up with him. She couldn’t wait to be able to perform their guitar battle to the public.

After they were done, Rainbow had some feedback on their performance and they all had some thoughts on how to mix the volume for the show, but generally it was a smooth soundcheck. Within a few more songs, they settled things with the venue’s sound engineer, and they would be ready for the show when the time came.

They wrapped it up and made their way to the others. Upon hearing that they were going to be discussing Equestria and magic, Gilda excused herself, but both Lemon Zest and Windfall were interested in hearing more.

“Okay, but you need to understand that none of us are experts,” Rainbow said.

“Well, I’m from there so I know a lot about it,” Sonata said. “Except I haven’t been back in a really long time, so I don’t know what it’s like now.”

They gave the best possible explanation they could. They explained what happened with Sunset and the Fall Formal, which Rainbow worried might be hard for Fluttershy, though she seemed to be fine.

Then they talked about the Dazzlings and the Battle of the Bands which Sonata was able to give a firsthand account of as well. She seemed to look back on the whole thing with far too much cheer.

“Oh, that’s when we convinced that girl to trap you all beneath the stage!” Sonata said brightly.

Rainbow’s eye twitched. “Which… was bad.”

“Well, yeah.” Sonata shrugged. “Everything we did back then was bad.”

Rainbow really didn’t think she believed that, but it somehow seemed to be enough for Fluttershy. Once they finished explaining the Battle of the Bands, they recounted the Friendship Games, this time with Lemon Zest offering her input.

Lemon Zest was still left shaking her head at the end. “I can’t believe the Friendship Games was the third time you all dealt with something like that!”

“So… there are two versions of you all?” Windfall asked with a frown. “Does that mean there’s another me out there too?”

Rainbow shrugged. “No idea. Like I said, we’re not really experts.”

“And then nothing ever happened after the Friendship Games, right?” Lemon Zest asked.

Rainbow shrugged. “Nah, things got pretty quiet after that.”

Fluttershy smiled sheepishly. “I think three run-ins with magic is more than enough.”

“Well, I went to Equestria once,” Rarity said. Rainbow had almost forgotten about that. “It was Sunset’s birthday party. I didn’t get to leave Twilight’s castle, but it was quite the experience. I met the other Rarity, and we exchanged some design ideas. I was a unicorn and could do some magic, although I certainly never got the hang of it in my limited time.”

Sonata sighed. “I miss magic.”

Rainbow frowned. “Yeah, must have been pretty great back when you were getting people to fight and draining their energy.”

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy scowled at her. “That’s not what Sonata meant, and you know it. Why are you being so antagonistic?”

Sonata placed her hand on Fluttershy’s arm. “It’s okay, Shy.”

Since she was trying to play nice, Rainbow knew she couldn’t push any further. But that didn’t mean she had to sit around and listen to all the reasons why Sonata was just ‘misunderstood’ or how she was so much ‘better’ now.

So Rainbow rose to her feet and walked away. “Whatever.” Fluttershy would probably find some reason to be upset about that, but if she was going to be upset either way, might as well have it be when Rainbow was somewhere that Sonata was not.

Figuring she might as well try to find Gilda, Rainbow made her way backstage. She barely got past the stage, however, someone came after her. Not the someone she would have expected, though.

“Rainbow, wait!” Rarity called after her. “Darn it, Rainbow, I can’t run in these heels, slow down!”

Rainbow stopped and turned around. Rarity walked over as fast as her high heels would allow, and she didn’t bother to sugarcoat things with a smile. “Look, I know Shy’s not happy with me.”

“Well I should say not,” Rarity glanced behind them, but they were already out of sight of the others. She turned back to Rainbow wearing a hardened expression. “But I’m not convinced you’re wrong.”

“Yes!” Rainbow broke into a grin. “Finally, someone’s seeing reason. Everyone keeps talking about it as if nothing she did before matters.”

Rarity took a deep breath. “Yes, she does seem very nice on the surface now. And I don’t like to hold her past against her, it’s just… Dear Sunset was positively beside herself the night of the Fall Formal, and she made it abundantly clear time and again how much she regretted her actions. Sonata hardly seems as remorseful herself.”

“Yeah! And trust me, that goes double for the others.”

“Adagio and Aria?” Rarity asked. “I haven’t seen them around.”

“Yeah, they like to make themselves scarce when they’re not stirring trouble.”

“Oh?” Rarity frowned. “Are they brazen enough to start problems while you’re bringing them on tour?”

“Not so much Adagio, but Aria doesn’t seem to care if we _do_ toss them out.” Rainbow sighed and looked around to make sure neither of them were hiding just out of sight. “Of course, Shy won’t see that in any of them…”

Rarity nodded. “Perhaps that means she can be used. If she cares the least, she’s the most likely to talk if you _do_ confront her.”

“Talk to Aria Blaze? You make that sound easy.”

Rarity placed her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder and grinned. “I know it won’t be, but I do believe you are quite capable. Or _we_ could be. The two of us together are sure to get to the bottom of this!”

Rainbow smiled. “Thanks, Rarity. I’m… not always the best at these kinds of conversations.”

“Think nothing of it. Now, where do we _find_ Aria?”

That was a good question. She somehow helped with the road crew, although to be honest, Rainbow had never bothered to keep tabs on what the Dazzlings did, exactly. As far as she was concerned, the less she had to do with them, the better.

That outlook proved somewhat troublesome now that she actually wanted to find one of them. They searched around backstage and couldn’t find her, but eventually one of the other roadies was able to point them in the right direction.

The van that hauled their equipment was parked out behind the concert venue, near the tour bus that the band rode in. They found Aria leaning against it, which brought to mind the question of exactly what she _did_ for the tour, but they had more pressing questions for her.

She was quick to notice them as well. As they walked up, Aria grimaced at the sight of Rarity. “Oh great, another of you is here now.”

“Aria,” Rarity said. “I don’t believe we were ever properly introduced. My name is Rarity.”

“And you, what, want to share the magic of friendship with me?” Aria asked skeptically.

“No, we want to ask you a few things.” Rainbow folded her arms. “What’s Sonata’s deal anyway?”

Aria shrugged. “She’s an idiot. I didn’t think you needed me to tell you that.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

As Rainbow felt her anger rise, Rarity placed a hand on her shoulder and spoke calmly. “We have doubts that Sonata’s relationship with Fluttershy is well intentioned. We were wondering what you have to say on the subject.”

“Their relationship?” Aria pushed herself off the van, but didn’t approach them. “Pretty sure they’re just fucking, princess. No need to get all lovey dovey with it.”

“You want us to believe it’s just mindless sex?” Rainbow asked skeptically.

“They do seem to be a good deal closer than that,” Rarity added.

That was an understatement… “Fluttershy practically parades Sonata around as if she’s the best thing that ever happened to her! The two of them are sickening to watch! They’re _way_ more than just fucking!”

Aria snickered. “Yeah, Fluttershy’s really falling for it.”

“Falling for it!?” Rainbow crossed the distance between them and pushed Aria into the van. There was a satisfying thud as her body hit the metal van, and Rainbow held her in place. “What the fuck does that mean!?”

Aria outright laughed at that one. “God, I was beginning to think you were really all stupid enough to buy into it at face value! About time someone starts to question things.”

“Buy what!?” Rainbow narrowed her eyes.

Rarity placed her hand forcefully on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Rainbow, this isn’t –”

“Answer me!” Rainbow demanded.

“Look, it’s not hard to figure out. Sonata’s _lying_.”

“Why would she do that?” Rarity asked.

Aria pushed Rainbow off of her. She was stronger than she looked, because with one shove, Rainbow was backpedalling to avoid falling on her ass. Aria just straightened her jacket. “Because ever since she got together with Fluttershy, the rest of us haven’t had to do shit. All that big talk of kicking us off the tour stopped, and she even got us hotel rooms every night.”

“You little…”

“Rainbow, stop,” Rarity said forcefully. “If that _is_ true, then why tell us? Wouldn’t this jeopardize your situation too?”

Aria shrugged. “Look, I don’t always like going along with Adagio’s little schemes. Oh, Adagio is behind it, if you couldn’t figure out. Sonata’s such a stupid little idiot, sleeping with one of you was pretty much the only way she could be useful to us.”

“That’s horrible.” Rarity glared at Aria. “How could you say something about one of your own teammates like that?”

“Uh, because we hate each other?” Aria shook her head. “We’re not humans, idiots. We don’t think like you losers do.”

“We have to tell Fluttershy,” Rainbow said. “This is ending _today_.”

“Good luck.” Aria was actually grinning, even in the face of getting tossed off the tour. “I’ll let you in on another little secret. The second reason I told you? Your girl’s hooked on a _siren_. We’re not easy to get over. She’ll fight logic at every turn to see Sonata as the perfect little girlfriend she wants her to be. Frankly, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens from here.”

“Fluttershy will believe me,” Rainbow said. She had to. Rainbow couldn’t let herself believe anything else could happen.

Aria gestured at herself. “Why, because I told you? What makes you so sure _I’m_ not the one lying?”

“What?”

“Think about it. Me or Sonata, one of us is lying here. Wonder which of us Fluttershy will believe?”

“Come on, Rainbow,” Rarity said. “We got everything we needed.”

“Hey, one more thing,” Aria said as they started to walk away. “When we leave? Sonata won’t even say goodbye, you know.”

Although she wanted to reply, Rainbow held her tongue. With some reluctance, she followed Rarity back into the building and away from Aria Blaze.

As they walked, Rainbow’s head was spinning with all the things that Aria said. She didn’t seem to care if they believed her or not. She didn’t seem to care about _anything,_ so sure that Fluttershy would choose Sonata over Rainbow.

Well, they would show her. Fluttershy would listen to what Rainbow had to say, and then the sirens would be off the tour.

Fluttershy and the others were right where Rainbow had left them. They were watching another act’s soundcheck, most likely because they were waiting on Rainbow and Rarity to come back. Fluttershy smiled as they walked up, and unfortunately, so did Sonata.

 _‘Your days are numbered here, bitch,’_ Rainbow thought. She bit her tongue for what she hoped would be the last time, though. First she needed to talk to Fluttershy.

Rarity beat her to it. “Fluttershy, can we speak with you for a moment?”

Fluttershy’s smile fell away. “Again?”

It was obvious Fluttershy knew what was coming, or at least, she knew the general subject. Again, Rarity answered. “I’m afraid so.”

Fluttershy stood up and followed Rainbow and Rarity backstage. She didn’t mask her irritation as she asked, “Is this about Sonata again?”

“Yes, it is,” Rarity said. “The thing is, well… We’re just worried about you, Fluttershy.”

“I know, but I’m fine.” Fluttershy sighed. “Rarity, I see where you’re coming from, I do, but please just trust me. And Rainbow, I thought we were done with this.”

“Yeah, well, we just talked to Aria,” Rainbow said with a scowl.

“Yes, and she had some… interesting things to say,” Rarity said. She took a deep breath. “Now, Fluttershy, I imagine some of this will be hard to hear, so please believe me when I say we wish this were different.”

Flutter leaned her head against her hand. “Just tell me.”

Rarity tried the delicate approach, but didn’t seem to know how to go about it. “She said, well… er, that is to say…”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “She says Sonata is using you. She said Sonata’s lying, that she’s just trying to keep you from caring about the others so that they get a free ride with us.”

“I see,” Fluttershy said. “And did Aria say anything else?”

Rainbow recoiled backwards a bit. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I just want to be sure I hear everything you have to say first.”

“She doesn’t think you’ll believe us,” Rarity said. “She says that because Sonata is a siren, you’ll have a hard time breaking away from her spell.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Is that all?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Rainbow said. “She was kinda a bitch about the whole thing, insulted us and stuff. But you know, that’s just Aria.”

“Yes, that is just Aria,” Fluttershy agreed. She folded her arms and shifted weight on her feet. “Which is just the point. She’s lying to cause drama between us. That’s what she does.”

Rainbow winced. “Come on, Shy, you can’t really believe that.”

“Look, I’m not stupid. I _know_ Aria is just as bad as she always was. Maybe Adagio is too, I don’t know. But what I do know is that they’re not threats to anyone. They can stir as much shit as they want, but they can’t hurt us.”

Rainbow threw out her arms. “And you’re okay with them just stirring up shit?”

“Of course I’m not,” Fluttershy said, sounding more weary than upset. “But what can I do? Aria is as bad as ever, but she’s harmless. Adagio keeps to herself and doesn’t fuck with us. But Sonata’s _good_. She’s not perfect, and I _know_ you want her to be more remorseful for how she used to be. But she’s a good person now, and she makes me happy. I can’t throw out her visera.”

“Her what now?” Rarity asked.

“Visera. It’s what they call themselves, a word from their culture. It’s sort of like an adopted family.”

“Some family,” Rainbow muttered.

“The point is that Sonata cares about them. I can’t kick them out without risking losing her too.”

“Shy, this is stupid!” Rainbow shook her head. “We know they’re a threat, we’ve seen it!”

“No, we know they were a threat! They’re not anymore, which also means that line about me being caught up in her spell is bullshit!” Fluttershy stamped her foot, causing both Rainbow and Rarity to flinch. “Did you even hear what I said? She makes me happy, Dash! Do you know when the last time I was happy was?”

Rainbow couldn’t find an answer for her. She never did when Fluttershy started talking like that.

“Fluttershy, darling…” Rarity was looking at Fluttershy as if she was injured. “What are you going to do when she leaves? You told me that she and the other Dazzlings have their own mission.”

Fluttershy turned away from them. “We’ll figure that out when the time comes. But right now, that’s just not something I need to worry about.”

Rarity sighed. “I really hope you’re right, darling. You know we’re just worried about you.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said. “But please, _stop_ worrying so much about me. Or at least accept my decision.”

“No way.” Rainbow took a step closer to Fluttershy. Rarity placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, but Rainbow brushed it off. “I can’t accept this, Shy.”

“You don’t have a choice!” Fluttershy wheeled around to look at Rainbow, and _now_ she looked angry. “ _I’m_ the tour manager, so it’s _my_ decision. If you can’t accept that, then just… learn to deal with the disappointment.”

Without waiting for a response, Fluttershy walked away. Not that Rainbow or Rarity knew what to say anyway. All they could do was watch as Fluttershy walked away.

Only after she left did Rarity find her words. “Dear God… I can hardly believe that was our dear little Fluttershy…”

“Yeah, tell me about it…”

“Well, that settles it then, doesn’t it?” Rarity steeled her expression. “Sonata _is_ influencing her. Our Fluttershy would never act that way!”

As much as Rainbow wanted to believe that, she couldn’t. Not when Fluttershy had almost quit the tour over Gilda some six months ago. “Shy’s… changed, Rarity. You just haven’t seen it like I have.”

“Now I don’t believe that for a second! What could have done _this_ to our sweet Fluttershy?”

“A car crash,” Rainbow said, causing Rarity to wince. “Or maybe it was Sunset ditching her for the horse version of herself. Or being a businesswoman in a cutthroat industry. _Or_ touring around with a punk band, since we’re not known for being a soft bunch. So like, take your fucking pick.”

Rarity stared at the ground. “Can so much really have changed?” She looked up and moved her mouth to form words, but none came. It was only when she looked back down that she managed the words on her mind. “And… the part about not knowing when she was last happy? Is that true as well?”

Rainbow didn’t want to answer that one, didn’t want to admit that no matter what she tried, she failed to make Fluttershy happy. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.”

“I see. So then it seems we’re at a loss for options. Fluttershy has made it perfectly clear that we have no say in the matter, so it seems the best we can do at this point is simply hope.”

“You want to do nothing, you mean.”

“No, Rainbow, I very much do not want to do nothing. But as I don’t see any other options, well… I think it would be worse if we alienated Fluttershy by forcing the matter.”

“I can’t just do nothing!”

Rarity placed her hands on her hips. “Then what do you propose to do, Rainbow?”

“I…” Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets and looked away. “I don’t know.”

“I thought as much. Now then, I’m going to go try and repair whatever damage our conversation may have done to Fluttershy.”

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow started to follow Rarity until she realized that they _weren’t_ heading towards the audience, because that’s not where Fluttershy went. “Actually, I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”

“What are you planning on doing?”

Rainbow shook her head. “Just… trust me. I’ll see you two soon. Take care of Shy for now.”

Rarity sighed. “Fine. But don’t you dare do anything to make this worse.”

Rainbow watched as Rarity walked off to go after Fluttershy, then she herself went out into the audience. Lemon Zest had left at some point, but Windfall was there talking to Sonata.

Perfect.

“Hey, Sonata, can we talk?” Rainbow asked.

Both Sonata and Windfall gave Rainbow an uncertain look, but after a moment, Sonata stood up. “Uh, okay.”

To make sure they weren’t followed, Rainbow brought Sonata into the venue’s foyer. It was relatively private, with a wall separating it from the rest of the venue, even if it did have large open doorways.

“What did you want to talk about?” Sonata asked. She seemed less upbeat than usual. Maybe she knew something bad was coming.

If Fluttershy wouldn’t take Aria’s word for it, then Rainbow would have to get Sonata’s. She just had to interrogate her, get a confession that she was up to no good, and then Fluttershy would _have_ to believe her.

“What’s your angle with Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked.

Sonata cocked her head to the side. “Angle? What do you mean?”

“What are you after?”

Sonata shrugged and smiled innocently. “She’s my friend. I just like spending time with her.”

Rainbow didn’t buy it. Sonata was just going to hurt Fluttershy in the end, just like Sunset did.

Just like Sunset.

There were so many things Rainbow should’ve said to Sunset before she left. So many ways she should’ve made Sunset realize what it was she was leaving behind. So many…

Rainbow sighed. There was only one thing she should’ve said to Sunset. Only one thing she ever should’ve said to her. “Just… don’t hurt her.”

“Hurt her?” Sonata wore a weird sort of smile, like she couldn’t quite understand what Rainbow’s words meant. “Why would I do that?”

Rainbow thought of several answers, then she pushed them all down. It was just like Sunset. Rainbow was driving a wedge between Fluttershy and someone who made her happy, just like she always did.

“Because…” Rainbow searched for an answer that wouldn’t hurt Fluttershy, and only found one. “Because I know you’re leaving. You’ve got this whole Equestrian magic thing to track down, so…”

Sonata put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder and smiled. “It’s sweet you care about her so much. But I like Shy a lot, I’m not going to hurt her.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Rainbow took a deep breath. In the end, that was all there really was to say. “Okay. Let’s get back to the others then.”


	14. Sinking Into Routine

#### Chapter Fourteen

## Sinking Into Routine

Maybe it was because she already missed Rarity, but Fluttershy found herself sleeping restlessly. They had parted the day before when the band had to go on to the next town and Rarity made her way to visit her friends and family in Everton, and she took that little sense of normalcy that she’d brought with her.

Even if she didn’t have many nightmares with Sonata, sleep was still a fickle thing. Still, it was something Sonata could help with just by being there, so Fluttershy rolled over and reached out her hand to feel the other woman’s comforting presence.

Her eyes only opened when she didn’t feel anyone in the bed beside her. Fluttershy looked around and was surprised to see Sonata sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to Fluttershy. “Sona?”

Sonata turned around and smiled. “Hey, Shy.” She spoke softly, as if she Fluttershy were still asleep. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“No, you didn’t.” Fluttershy patted the empty spot in the bed next to her. “Come back to bed.”

Sonata shook her head. “I can’t sleep. I was kind of thinking of taking a bath.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Sonata crawled across the bed to get to Fluttershy, who smiled at her as they kissed. She looked away from Fluttershy after, speaking almost bashfully. “Uhm, would you like to join me?”

It was strange to hear Sonata being shy about that. She had never once been shy about any of the things they had got up to in their hotel rooms, and Fluttershy couldn’t think of why a bath would be any different.

Whatever the reason, though, Fluttershy thought it sounded nice. “Sure. I can’t really sleep either.”

Fluttershy rose from the bed, then she followed Sonata to the bathroom. They were both naked from the night before, so there was no need for them to undress. Sonata ran the water and sat beside the tub while she waited for it to heat up.

It didn’t take too long for the water to warm up, then Sonata plugged the drain and climbed into the tub. Fluttershy followed her, trying her best to get comfortable as the water filled it. It wasn’t a premium room with an extra large bathtub, and having two grown women in it made for a tight fit.

They made the most of it, though. Fluttershy leaned back with her head resting against the wall and Sonata turned her back to Fluttershy and sat between her legs, leaning against her. Fluttershy put her arms around Sonata and decided it was comfortable enough after all.

When the water rose nearly to the top of the tub, Sonata turned it off with her foot. It was soothingly warm, and Fluttershy liked being so close to Sonata. “This is nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sonata said quietly. Although she could be shy around other people, one thing Sonata usually wasn’t was quiet. Fluttershy was starting to worry that something was wrong.

It wasn’t too hard to guess what it might be. Sonata occasionally had anxiety attacks about being away from her visera. This would be a new way for her to react to it, but maybe she was getting more comfortable with Fluttershy and that was making her reaction smaller.

Whatever the reason, Fluttershy just held her a little bit tighter.

“I haven’t taken a bath in ages,” Fluttershy said, matching Sonata’s soft tone to try and be as soothing as possible. “I usually just take showers. It always seems like we’re in a hurry.”

“It’s nice to slow down once and a while,” Sonata said. She combatted the idea that she might be upset by snuggling a little closer to Fluttershy and putting on a content smile. “I like baths. They calm me down when I’m upset.”

“So there _is_ something wrong.” Fluttershy frowned and stroked Sonata’s hair.

“No.”

Fluttershy wasn’t really sure if that was true or not, but she didn’t press it. “You know, I could buy bath bombs or bubble bath stuff if you want.”

Although that seemed right up Sonata’s alley, she shook her head. “I just like clear water.” She slid down and dipped her head under the water, then stayed there for a few seconds before she rose and resumed her position. “I miss having gills.”

“Oh. Did you have gills in Equestria?”

“Yeah. We lived in the ocean.” Sonata stared ahead, making it hard for Fluttershy to get a good read on her expression.

“I guess that makes sense. I remember during the Battle of the Bands when you three turned into… well, I don’t really know what it was.”

“Sirens,” Sonata said. “That’s how we really look. Or how we looked back in Equestria, at least.”

“I see. It must have been weird getting used to living on land.”

Sonata lifted her hand and watched the way the water ran off of it. “I can barely even remember Equestria itself, but I remember the ocean. We all do.”

Fluttershy finally thought she understood. “Baths remind you of the ocean?”

“A little. Just… water in general, I guess.”

Fluttershy nodded and stroked Sonata’s wet hair, finally seeing why Sonata had been acting different all morning. Sex wasn’t intimate to Sonata, but this was. She was sharing something deeply personal about herself with Fluttershy, and Fluttershy felt closer than ever because of it.

They sat in quiet for a while. Fluttershy wasn’t sure if she should say something or not. Sonata hadn’t seemed opposed to the conversation, but now that she knew how special this was, Fluttershy wasn’t sure if speaking was the right thing to do.

She was saved from making the decision by Sonata speaking instead. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Me too. I… feel a lot better these days.”

“Me too.” Sonata turned so she was more on her side, which let her put her arms around Fluttershy as well. “I’ve never had a friend like you.”

Fluttershy knew it wasn’t what she meant, but since it was the only thing she could think to say, she said, “Well, most friends don’t exactly do things like take baths together. Or most of the other things we get up to, you know.”

“I know. I’m glad we’re different.”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.” Sonata looked up at Fluttershy and smiled. “The water’s getting cold though.”

Fluttershy giggled. “You’re right. Want to get out?”

“Okay.” Sonata sat up and pulled the plug from the drain, but she didn’t stand. Instead, she sat and watched the water drain.

Unsure what to do, Fluttershy just waited with her. The air was cold on her wet skin, but she didn’t want to be the one to break the spell that the water had on Sonata.

Only when the water was drained did they rise. Fluttershy got out of the tub first, handing a towel to Sonata before taking one for herself. She wasn’t too concerned about the fact that they hadn’t actually bothered to do any cleaning up during their bath. It had clearly been for other reasons, anyway.

Fluttershy dried off and wrapped herself in her towel. Sonata did the same, but took an extra towel for her hair. The two of them walked out of the bathroom and took a seat on the bed as they finished drying off.

“You know,” Fluttershy said, “we can go to the beach sometime if you want.”

Sonata smirked. “Shy, it’s February.”

Fluttershy chuckled. “Well, maybe when it warms up a bit. But I’d like to go to the ocean with you, if you’d like to.”

Sonata smiled. “I think I’d like that a lot.”

Fluttershy smiled back. She thought she would, too.

It was getting late in the morning. As usual, it wasn’t yet checkout time, but the band had their own schedule. And since she was up, it was Fluttershy’s responsibility as tour manager to make sure they met it.

So she only allowed herself a little more time to relax with Sonata before she got up and got dressed. Sonata followed suit, although she wouldn’t exactly need to be up and about just yet. Fluttershy was the one who had to go around to everyone’s rooms making sure they were awake and collecting their keys to check out.

It kept her busy for a little while, but it was all routine by this point. She knew who would be awake and who would need extra prodding, so she visited Gilda first. She was an early riser and always had coffee brewed by the time Fluttershy got there, so the two of them would sit over coffee for a few minutes.

From Gilda, she would visit Lemon Zest. She would be asleep, but she’d wake up in an instant as soon as she needed to be up. From there, it would be kinder to go to Windfall, but she went to Rainbow’s room.

Rainbow would groan at her about needing more sleep, and Fluttershy would argue a little then give in, letting Rainbow think she was getting away with something. Afterwards, she would go see Windfall, who would rise slowly but surely, then go back to get Rainbow up for real, by which time she’d be a little more cooperative.

After all that, it was downstairs with Sonata to check out. As usual, Adagio and Aria were already down there. No one ever needed to wake them up for checkout, they were always ready and waiting.

It was a nice routine. In a career where Fluttershy would be in a new city almost every day, she clung to what routines she could.

This time, however, Adagio didn’t wait silently for them to leave. She approached Sonata when Fluttershy was checking out. “We need you today.”

“Oh, okay,” Sonata said.

Fluttershy just frowned. She would have liked a better explanation of why, but there was nothing she could do. Sonata was supposed to be helping her Visera with tracking the source of the Equestrian magic, and Fluttershy knew she monopolized enough of her friend’s time.

Soon enough the band was making their way downstairs, most of them still groggy. Since Fluttershy had checked them out already, she called for the tour bus to come and get them. They made small talk about how everyone slept while they waited for the few minutes it took for the bus to get to them.

Once it was there, everyone made their way out to it. Fluttershy lingered just a moment to hug Sonata. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Of course!” Sonata said with a bright smile. She leaned in to add, “Between you and me, I wish I was on the bus with you all. The van smells funny.”

Fluttershy considered inviting all of the sirens to join them on the bus since they didn’t want to split up today, but she was afraid once opened, that door couldn’t be closed again. Adagio, she could probably stand, but she _really_ didn’t want to share the tour bus with Aria Blaze.

With one last wave, she walked onto the tour bus and took a seat on the couch. Lemon Zest and Gilda sat on either side of her, and Rainbow and Windfall sat across from them. Lemon Zest was the first to comment on the obvious. “No Sonata today?”

“No, the others needed her for something,” Fluttershy said. “Probably tracking the magic. I don’t really know how that works.”

“Yeah, maybe they all need to be together to do it,” Windfall said. He’d been growing increasingly open to the idea that magic might be real, to the point where he no longer questioned it.

Gilda was more skeptical, although she rarely spoke against it. Instead, she just pulled out her phone when the conversation turned towards magic.

“Sonata say anything about how all that’s going?” Lemon Zest asked.

“No. I think she’d tell me if it wasn’t going well, though.”

“Yeah yeah, but more importantly –” Rainbow grinned and leaned closer “– do you have any plans for next week?”

“Next week?” Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Valentine’s Day is coming up.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy had forgotten about that. It had been three years since she had a reason to be anything other than miserable on Valentine’s Day. “I… I haven’t really thought about it.”

That got Gilda to put down her phone. “Think about it now then!”

Lemon Zest nudged Fluttershy. “Come on, when are you going to have all of us together with no Sonata again? This is the perfect time for us to come up with a plan!”

“I don’t think I need a plan…” Fluttershy shifted in her seat. “We’re not even dating, we probably won’t even do anything.”

“See, this is exactly why you need us!” Rainbow said. “Come on, Shy, you _want_ to do something on Valentine’s Day with Sonata, but you just don’t want to admit it.”

Fluttershy blushed. It might be kind of nice. And even more than that, she _loved_ seeing Rainbow have something positive to say about Sonata.

“Okay,” she said with a smile. “Let’s plan something then.”

Of course, they were limited on what they could plan that worked with the tour. The band had a show on Valentine’s Day, but they insisted Fluttershy take the night off – she didn’t need to be at _every_ performance, after all. They’d all ride the tour bus into town together as always, then Fluttershy and Sonata would go out for the evening and not come back until they were good and ready.

Most of their time was spent finding things that they’d be able to do. It wasn’t like any of them knew much about the city they’d be in, after all, so they were all on their phones looking up options. They found some nice sounding restaurants, a movie theater, some clubs if they wanted to go out dancing, and – courtesy of Gilda – a strip club.

Even discounting that last option, there was a nice variety of choices they could choose from. They all agreed it was best to not settle on any plans just yet. Fluttershy would try to worm some information about Sonata’s interests from her, then she’d plan a day around that.

It was nice to have something to look forward to, but it begged a question. “Do… you all think I should just ask Sonata to make this official?”

“Uh, yeah?” Lemon Zest said as if there was never a point in even asking. “Seriously, you two are great together.”

Windfall shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I mean… being honest, would it even change anything?”

Fluttershy frowned. “I guess… I guess it wouldn’t…”

Gilda sighed. “It would change how you think of it, and that’s plenty. And you know, it might change your future a lot. If you make it official, you’ll have more reason to keep in touch, right?”

“I think we’d keep in touch anyway,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, probably. But keeping in touch as friends and as girlfriends is different.” Gilda smirked. “You don’t want her looking for someone else once you two aren’t on tour anymore, do you?”

Fluttershy folded her hands in her lap. “I… I don’t _want_ us to not be on tour together.”

“Tch, nothing you can do about that one,” Gilda said. “You know they got their whole thing they’re doing. But you can still shape what happens after.”

Fluttershy didn’t want to think about it, but she knew it was true. “Yeah, you’re right.” She turned to the only person who hadn’t voiced an opinion. “What do you think, Dash?”

Rainbow kept her eyes on Fluttershy’s for a moment, then she broke into a grin. “Might as well go for it. You two are basically dating anyway.”

That meant more than Fluttershy could express. Certainly more than she could say without embarrassing Rainbow in front of the others. Fluttershy just smiled and nodded, resolving to thank Rainbow more personally later on when it was just the two of them.

The rest of the trip was pretty straightforward. It was a relatively short drive to the next stop on the tour, only three hours of driving. They passed the time as they usually did – with videogames, jokes, and conversation.

They made good time getting to the venue, so they were able to move about leisurely as they made their way in for the soundcheck. They met with the venue manager as the road crew brought in their instruments and got everything set up.

They were almost done when one of the roadies walked up to the band. “Hey, just letting you know those girls split today. They said they got where they needed to be and just walked off.”

Fluttershy blinked. The words surrounded her without really penetrating into her thoughts properly. She knew what she heard, but she also knew it couldn’t be right. “What?”

“Yeah, they said you knew they’d be leaving.” The roadie shrugged. “They were just temp help, right? They haven’t really done shit these past few weeks anyway…”

“Oh, fuck…” Rainbow put her arm around Fluttershy. “Shy, I’m so sorry.”

Lemon Zest hugged her from behind and didn’t say anything. Gilda just swore and kicked at the ground. Windfall walked up to the roadie. “Did they say anything else? A message for Fluttershy or anything?”

“Nope, just walked off. Is, uh, is it a problem?”

Windfall swore and clenched his jaw. After a moment he shook his head and tried again. “They didn’t leave a way to get in touch with them? Or say where they were going? Or just… fucking _something_ else?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Okay.” He turned back to the others. “Let’s get Shy somewhere she can sit down.”

“What?” Fluttershy repeated. She knew the answer, but she couldn’t believe it. She let herself be led to a chair, and she sat down, and she wouldn’t do anything else.

The others tried talking to her. Fluttershy heard the words, but her brain didn’t parse their meaning. And yet all the same, the reality slowly sunk in.

Sonata was gone.

She’d left her, and she hadn’t even said goodbye.

That was what really bothered her. Of course, Sonata not being around was the problem, but what _really_ made it difficult to process was how sudden it was. Sonata hadn’t even told Fluttershy she was leaving. The whole morning, Sonata had just been her usual self.

How could she do this? How could Sonata just leave her like this? True, they weren’t dating, but they were friends. Would it have been different if Fluttershy had made things official between them sooner?

Or would Sonata do the same fucking thing? The others could see it, only Fluttershy was stupid enough to think Sonata was authentic. To think she really cared about her.

“You were right,” Fluttershy said. Everyone turned to her in silence. She looked at Rainbow and repeated herself. “You were right about Sonata all along, Dash. She was using me, and I just let her.”

“Don’t be like that, Shy…” Rainbow said, failing to meet Fluttershy’s eyes. “I didn’t think…” She sighed and shoved her hands in her pockets. “I didn’t _want_ to be right, you know.”

“I know.” Fluttershy stood up and ran a hand through her hair, wondering for the first time why she had cut it all off. She used to be pretty once, before she got fat and stopped taking care of herself. The least she could’ve done was kept her hair pretty. Maybe then Sonata would’ve thought twice before she used Fluttershy and tossed her away.

“Just take it easy today,” Zest said. “We’ll take care of everything.”

“I’m fine,” Fluttershy said, and she was. She wouldn’t let herself be anything else. “It’s better this way. I don’t need someone around who’s just using me, and now I’ll have more time to focus on the band.”

“Shy…”

Fluttershy met Rainbow’s frown with a smile. “I’m fine, Dash. Come on. Let’s get that soundcheck started.”

* * *

It was just onto the next thing. Every day, just onto the next thing. That was all Fluttershy could do, live every day as it came.

And live in the routine. Wake up call. Check out of the hotel. Take the bus to the next stop. Soundcheck. Lunch. To the next hotel. Check in. Work on her laptop. Make phone calls. Back to the venue for the show. After party. Dinner. Back to the hotel. Shower. Find more work. Wake up call.

That was her life. Every day, the same routine. Some parts of it were easier than others – she never knew what to do on the tour bus, and it could be hard to find enough work to keep busy in the evenings. But she managed.

And when she couldn’t find work? She could _always_ find booze. It flowed freely for the band and their manager, and a quick stop to a liquor store to stock up the hotel refrigerator never hurt.

So it was no surprise that a bottle of beer was where Fluttershy found herself at an afterparty on Valentine’s Day. She just wished it was something stronger, but fuck it, she’d drank six of them so far. It couldn’t take that much longer for her to forget what day it was.

“Shy.”

Someone was saying her name, Fluttershy knew that. Still, her body was slow to respond.

“Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy turned around and saw Windfall frowning at her. Great, now he was mad at her for something too. “Hi.”

He pointed at her beer bottle. “How many of those have you had?”

Fluttershy frowned. “It’s just beer.”

“I saw the whiskey bottle in your bag this morning.”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. She’d finished that, like, hours ago. “I’m fine, Windfall. Go enjoy yourself.”

“I can’t.” He gestured towards Gilda and Lemon Zest, who were both looking at them. “None of us can. What are you doing to yourself?”

“That’s my business.” Fluttershy turned to walk away and tripped. Windfall was at her side trying to help her up in an instant, but she pushed him away. “Oh, fuck off. I don’t need you to pity me.”

“I don’t pity you, I care about you!”

“Okay, I’ve seen enough.” Gilda walked over and picked up Fluttershy. She struggled against it, but Gilda held tight. “Someone call me a cab, I’m bringing Shy to the hotel.”

“I don’t wanna go to the hotel!” Fluttershy said. “I’m not a fucking kid! I’m your boss!”

“Yeah, well, fire me.” Gilda brought Fluttershy to a couch and sat her down. Lemon Zest brought over a bottle of water and sat with them. She tried to hand it to Fluttershy, but she wouldn’t take it.

That was when Rainbow walked up. “What’s going on?”

Fluttershy looked at her pleadingly. “Dash! Tell them I’m fine.”

“She’s _not_ fine,” Gilda said. “She’s fucking wasted.”

Rainbow folded her arms. “Come on, Shy. Let’s go back to the hotel.”

“I don’t want to!” Fluttershy insisted. She jumped to her feet before the others could stop her. “Jesus, I’m an adult! I can take care of myself!”

“Yeah, you can,” Rainbow agreed. “Prove it by taking care of yourself now. We just worry about you.”

Fluttershy glared at her for a moment, then broke into a run. She wasn’t sure where to. She hadn’t really thought it through.

It didn’t matter. The next thing she knew, she was falling face-first to the ground. Everything was blurry, and she couldn’t even resist as others dragged her out. She heard voices, but not words.

_“Hold on, Mama…”_

She came to in the back of a taxi, sandwiched between Rainbow and Gilda. “What…”

“Shy?” Rainbow sounded scared, but Fluttershy wasn’t sure why.

Fluttershy realized that she was leaning against Rainbow, who had an arm around her. She looked up and her vision slowly focused on Rainbow’s face. She looked as bad as she sounded.

“You okay?” Gilda asked.

“What… happened…?”

“You passed out on me!” Rainbow said. There was fear and anger mixed together in one vocal cocktail. “I didn’t know what to do! If Windfall hadn’t already called a cab…”

Fluttershy pressed a hand to her head. “We’re going back to the hotel?”

Rainbow didn’t answer. She looked dead ahead, and Fluttershy couldn’t make out her expression through her blurred vision.

“No, we’re going to a hospital,” Gilda said.

“What?” Fluttershy forced herself up. “No! I don’t like hospitals!”

“I know,” Rainbow said. “But you… you blacked out, Shy. And we couldn’t get you to respond.”

“Driver, just take us to our hotel. It’s called, uhm…” Fluttershy shook her head. She _knew_ what the hotel’s name was she just couldn’t think. Everything was so blurry.

“Keep going to the hospital,” Gilda said.

“Yes, ma’am,” the driver answered.

Fluttershy looked between Gilda and Rainbow, feeling helpless. She couldn’t convince them, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t… she couldn’t…

All she could do was cry. Rainbow held her tightly as she did, and at some point, Fluttershy passed out again.

_“Hold on, Mama. Just wait a little longer…”_

The next thing Fluttershy was aware of, Gilda was carrying her into the hospital. Fluttershy didn’t want to be there. She hated hospitals. She just needed to sleep, why wouldn’t they listen to her? She told them… she told them… had she told them that?

She didn’t tell them now, she couldn’t form the words. She couldn’t form any words. They didn’t understand, she hadn’t slept in three days, she wasn’t even that drunk, she just needed to sleep.

They walked into the hospital, and Fluttershy gave in. She stopped fighting to get away, she stopped fighting to stay awake, she just stopped fighting.

_“Hold on, Mama. Hold on.”_

“Sky!” Fluttershy’s eyes shot open, and she became aware that her head was in throbbing pain. She looked around and found an IV sticking out of her arm.

“Fluttershy?” Rainbow stood up and walked over to her. She put her hands on the guardrail of the hospital bed that Fluttershy was in.

“Rainbow?” Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut, wishing her head would stop throbbing. “How… how long was I out?”

“Maybe twenty minutes,” Rainbow said, and Fluttershy sighed with relief. “Hold on, I’ll get the doctor.”

“You stay here, I’ll get him,” Gilda said. Fluttershy hadn’t even noticed she was there. She felt like she should have known she would be, but she couldn’t remember that.

“Shy…” Rainbow took Fluttershy’s hand.

“What…” Fluttershy forced herself to swallow. Her mouth was so dry. “What’s wrong with me?”

“They said severe dehydration. I don’t think they know anything else.”

That wasn’t actually what Fluttershy had meant, but she just nodded weekly.

Gilda returned with the doctor, who explained that even though Fluttershy had made sure to drink water with the alcohol she’d had, with the amount she was drinking it just wasn’t cutting it. Fluttershy mostly just stared at the ceiling when he talked.

When he paused from speaking, Fluttershy asked the only question that mattered. “Am I dying?”

He smiled. “No, nothing that severe. Afraid you’ll be staying here tonight.”

Fluttershy nodded as best she could, then went back to tuning him out.

She wasn’t dying, but she knew what she’d heard. Sky had called out for her, she had told her to wait a little longer.

Just wait a little longer. Fluttershy could do that. She was good at that. She wasn’t good at many things, but finding ways to wait out her time was one thing she could do.

But why? What was worth holding onto anymore? Fluttershy just didn’t know. Her hands drifted meekly to her stomach as she searched for an answer. She didn’t find one.

* * *

Fluttershy never told anyone she had heard Sky’s voice. They never talked about her, so it felt wrong to bring her up. Besides, other people would probably just tell her that she imagined it, and Fluttershy didn’t want to be faced with that possibility.

Not that they didn’t have plenty of other reasons to worry about her. She was stuck in the hotel room overnight, but at least she was allowed to leave in the morning. Not that they had a choice, they had to go to the next stop on the tour.

The trip on the tour bus was hell. Everyone looked at her like she was broken, and they wouldn’t let her have so much as one drink. It had been a few miserable hours, but it was finally at an end.

“Hey, Shy…” Rainbow fidgeted in place.

The bus had just pulled into the venue, and Fluttershy was looking forward to getting some peace of mind, but it looked like she had one more awkward conversation first. “Yes, Dash?”

“I thought maybe we should, I don’t know… cancel the show?” Rainbow wouldn’t meet Fluttershy’s eyes.

“Oh.” Fluttershy frowned. “But why?”

Rainbow shook her head. “That way we could take care of you! That way you won’t be alone.”

Being alone was exactly what Fluttershy wanted. “No. Definitely not. Rainbow, I’m surprised at you, you _know_ how important this show is.”

“It’s just a regular show, nothing special.”

“They’re _all_ special. There’s going to be people there who memorized every lyric, kids who have never been to a concert before. You _need_ to give it your best, and to not worry about me.”

“I can’t just not worry about you!” Rainbow took hold of Fluttershy’s hands. “You have no idea what it was like, I was fucking terrified…”

Fluttershy smiled. “I’m sorry I worried you, Dash. I’ll be better tonight, though. I think… I’m just going to go to the hotel. Get some rest tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Rainbow sighed. “Just… take care of yourself, alright? She’s not worth putting yourself through all this for.”

Fluttershy wished Rainbow hadn’t brought Sonata up, but she didn’t say so. “You’re right.”

With a little more convincing, Rainbow followed the others inside to do the soundcheck. Fluttershy waited in the tour bus for a taxi, which she took to the hotel.

Well, not directly to the hotel. She made one quick stop first. A liquor store, where she bought a bottle of vodka. She debated buying more, but she decided she didn’t want to get caught with anything. One bottle was easy enough to hide if any of the others came into her room.

From there, she took the taxi to her hotel. She checked in, then went up to her room. She slapped the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door and locked the deadbolt. She didn’t want anyone walking in unannounced.

She didn’t have any shot glasses, but that was okay. She wasn’t really in a shot kind of mood. Instead, she got one of the little paper cups they left in the hotel room and filled it with vodka.

She knocked it back and winced at the strong flavor. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

Sonata had left her. And worse, she hadn’t said she was leaving, hadn’t even left a message for her. Sometimes her brain tried to convince her that Sonata had loved her and she’d never see her again, but right now she knew better. Sonata hadn’t cared about her, she had just said the right things to get into Fluttershy’s head.

And it had worked. Fluttershy was head over heels for a girl who didn’t give a shit about her. What was it? What was so bad about Fluttershy that she kept driving people away?

Fluttershy went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her short hair was starting to grow back in, it was getting down towards her shoulders again. Last time, Gilda had trimmed it for her. She didn’t want to bother Gilda this time, though.

She rummaged around her things until she found the pair of scissors that Gilda had used. They were hair cutting scissors, whatever the hell that meant, so they were perfect.

She went back to the bathroom and grabbed a lock of her hair. Then she cut. She didn’t know what she was doing, but it didn’t matter. So what if it turned out awful? Fluttershy didn’t deserve to look pretty.

It seemed to hardly take any time at all. Gilda had taken her time, made sure it came out looking great, but Fluttershy didn’t bother. And in the end, it did look awful. How was it so hard to cut hair in a messy short style? It came out in uneven clumps, and her upper body was covered in strands of her hair. Tears welled in her eyes when she looked at what she had become.

She wiped her eyes and shook her head. She had the solution to this feeling. She went back into the other room and filled her cup with vodka again, then she drank.

 _‘Come on, damn it,’_ Fluttershy thought as she drank. _‘Talk to me again. Let me hear your voice, just one more time.’_

It had worked before. So what if she had to drink until she passed out, so what if she didn’t wake up, none of that fucking mattered. All that mattered was getting the chance to hear that sweet little voice, just one more time.

Instead, she felt a familiar sensation welling up in her stomach. She ran to the bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet just in time. A moment later, she was throwing up alcohol and stomach bile.

When she was done, she flushed the toilet and rinsed out her mouth. She caught sight of herself in the mirror again, and she cried again.

What a miserable excuse for a person she had become. She ambled into the shower and turned on the water, not bothering to get out of her clothes. Seeing herself naked on top of everything else would just make things worse.

And she cried. Not that there was anyone around to hear her, but the shower masked the sounds anyway. Fluttershy wasn’t even sure who she was crying for. Sonata? Sunset? Sky?

Probably just herself. That was the only person Fluttershy cared about these days, anyway.

It didn’t matter who she cried for. Fluttershy held her stomach, and she cried, and she wished the water would be enough to drown her.

Just wait a little longer. And then what? What would happen if she waited a little longer? Why couldn’t Sky just tell her what she was waiting for?

Fluttershy stood up and turned off the water. It was a different hotel room, of course, but she still hated being in bathtubs.

She stumbled out of the room, feeling cold and wet in her drenched clothes. She didn’t bother to do anything about that, though. Instead, she just poured another cup of vodka, and she drank.

Sky had spoken to her before, and she would again. If this was the only way Fluttershy could reach her then so be. And this time, she wasn’t going to let anything stop her happiness.

~ End Act II ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that got dark. Don’t worry, this story isn’t going to go to Playing House levels of depressing, I just want to hit those notes in some places.
> 
> Anyway, end of act music!  
> [Against Me! – Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMTiBHUIkz4)


	15. The Washouts

# Act III

# Crescendo

Chapter Fifteen

#### The Washouts

It always started with acoustic guitars. That was something a lot of people probably would be surprised by. But even with the electric energy of punk rock, the basics were still the tried and true method of songwriting.

Unfortunately, this song wasn’t quite coming together. Rainbow set aside her guitar. “I have, like, fifty different ideas we could just start from.”

Lightning Dust rolled her eyes. “Same. But Shy wants us to write something together…”

“I bet we could get away with it. Just… not tell her we used an old idea.” The idea was to give them both a writing credit, but fuck it.

Lightning smirked. “You’re really gonna lie to _Fluttershy?_ ”

Rainbow frowned. Lightning had her there. “Yeah, fine. We’ll get back to it.”

Lightning put down her guitar and stretched. “In a bit. It’s so fucking hot, how are we supposed to think like this?”

It _was_ pretty hot. Summer had started, and Lightning Dust didn’t have air conditioning. They could’ve been somewhere else – Rainbow had a perfectly serviceable house they could use – but every Washouts song had been written in this house, and they wanted to keep the tradition alive.

“So, think The Washouts will be tour ready?” Rainbow asked, lying back on Lightning Dust’s bed. They were in her room back in Everton, in a house she had rented with her money from Bitchette after she left the band. It was sparsely decorated, although there was a Bitchette poster on the wall.

“Hell yeah, I do!” Lightning grinned. “Trust me, my band will blow yours away.” It had been exactly what Lightning Dust had said she’d do when she left Bitchette – start a new band.

“Think we’ve got a pretty big headstart on you with Bitchette,” Rainbow said.

“Which will just make it _more_ impressive when we wipe the floor with you guys!” Lightning punched Rainbow on the shoulder. “By the end of the tour, we’re gonna have to switch places and _you_ can open for _us_.”

“Fat chance.” Rainbow sat up and swatted Lightning Dust’s hand away. “We’re still miles ahead of you guys.”

“Don’t forget who got you there though.” Lightning winked.

Rainbow grinned. “Same person who got you bitches on the tour. But Fluttershy is _our_ manager.”

“We’ll make do.”

“You better.” Rainbow only meant to give Lightning a small shove, but she wound up pushing her off the bed. She didn’t regret it.

Bitchette was in between tours at the moment, having finished their winter-spring tour and not yet started on their summer one. For _that_ tour, The Washouts were the opening act, so it was sure to be a blast.

If she and Lightning didn’t kill each other, of course. Lightning pounced onto the bed and held Rainbow down while she went for a noogie. Rainbow struggled to throw her off, not quite hitting the mark but managing to grab a pillow. She shoved it into Lightning’s face and pushed, so that she looked like a couple of arms flailing out of a pillow.

The bedroom door opened, and Flash’s voice greeted them. “You guys need… er, is this a bad time?”

“No, what’s up?” Lightning Dust asked as Rainbow finally managed to push her off. She smiled at Flash as if nothing had happened.

Rainbow punched her on the shoulder, but didn’t say anything.

Flash rubbed his hand against the back of his hair. “I was just coming to see if you wanted some help. You’ve been at it for a while.”

“Nah, we’re good,” Lightning said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m drenched in sweat and we don’t have shit to show for it. Yeah, we could use some help.”

Flash nodded and walked in, taking the guitar that Rainbow offered him. He strummed it once to check the tuning, then smiled at them. “So what do you have so far?”

Rainbow and Lightning looked at each other. Since she had offered up her own guitar, it fell to Lightning to show off their work. “Not a whole hell of a lot. We were thinking something like…” She strummed the chord progression they’d been playing around with for the verses. “And maybe like…” She shifted to a different but equally underwhelming riff for the chorus.

Flash took a seat and flayed the two riffs back to back first, needing nothing but to see Lightning play them once to pick up on them. “So maybe we could do something like this?” He played the verse riff, then a completely different one that he seemed to make up on the spot, and finished with a modified version of the chorus riff. “You know, like a pre-chorus thing.”

“Ooh, I like that,” Lightning played it as well, then handed her guitar to Rainbow. “I’m grabbing my bass.”

“Go on, play it again,” Rainbow said. Flash started with the verse riff, and Rainbow started working on a lead part. She stopped after a moment. “Hold on, you’re the lead guitarist in The Washouts, come up with your own shit. I’ll play rhythm.”

They switched places, with Rainbow playing with the verse part and Flash noodling over it. It took a few minutes, then something workable started to sound like it was coming out.

By then, there was a bass underscore to their playing. It sounded completely disconnected from the guitar parts, but Lightning found a nice groove and they worked with it, reshaping what they had to work along with what she was doing.

“Hold on, show me the pre-chorus again,” Rainbow said, and Flash obliged. Rainbow attempted it herself, picking it up pretty easily.

That matched the tone of the rest of the session. Flash had a gift for honing in on what the others were doing and playing along, and Rainbow got the impression they should have had Lightning on the bass all along for how well it worked to set the tone that the guitars played to.

It didn’t take long for them to have the song nearly finished. The only thing left was a bridge that could either be filled with lyrics or a guitar solo, and either of those would be written later.

They made a rough recording on Rainbow’s phone, then mercifully, they got to go downstairs. The upstairs bedroom was the hottest in the house, and they were met with a chorus of fans blowing in cooler air from outside.

Since Lightning Dust didn’t have a basement, the drums and everything else was set up in the living room. The rest of the band was down there sitting around and waiting for them to finish up.

As was Fluttershy. She had her laptop out and was busy with something. She worked so much these days, and Rainbow had no earthly idea what she could possibly be doing. She knew if she asked it would just be ‘making sure things are set up for the summer tour’, so she didn’t bother to ask.

Instead, she grinned and announced, “We think we have something to work with!”

She, Flash, and Lightning played the song for the others, Rainbow explaining what she was doing to Rolling Thunder, rhythm guitarist for The Washouts.

“Did you record it?” Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow held up her phone. “Of course we did.”

“Email it to me.” Fluttershy pulled a pair of headphones out of her laptop bag. “I think I should work on lyrics while you all get the music sorted for electric. I have a melody in mind already.

Rolling Thunder stood up. She was a tall and slender woman with grape-colored skin, curly white hair, and a scar around her left eye. She crossed the room to the counter Fluttershy was sitting at. Her voice was direct, but not unkind. “No can do, mate. I’ve written all of The Washouts lyrics, I should write these ones too.”

Fluttershy smiled and would have no doubt had a perfectly polite but insistent reply, but Lightning beat her to it. “Remember the whole point of the song is a collab between us and Bitchette. Why don’t you two write them together?”

“I’ve never written lyrics with anyone other than Dash,” Fluttershy said, then smiled again. “It’ll be fun.”

“Reasonable enough.” Rolling Thunder jerked her head away. “But might be best to get somewhere quieter before Short Fuse starts pounding them drums.”

The two of them left for the upstairs room as everyone else went to get their instruments. Since Rolling Thunder left to work on lyrics, Rainbow filled in for her on guitar.

“I guess let’s start with seeing how it sounds electric, then we can tweak it and add drums.”

They ran through the song together on electric guitars, and Short Fuse joined in on drums after a moment, finding a drumbeat that fit the song easy enough.

The four of them worked on the song together for a little while, getting it to sound pretty good all things considered. Rainbow recorded another version of the song once they had it and sent that to Fluttershy’s email in the hopes that it would help with lyrics.

After that, they took a break. “So is this how you all normally do things?” Rainbow asked.

“Usually me or Dust will have a song idea in mind and bring it to the others,” Flash explained. “We don’t usually try to force a song like this.”

“Sometimes we start with lyrics,” Lightning Dust said. “Thunder’s really good at them, so sometimes we turn her lyrics into songs.”

“Huh.” Rainbow had never started a song with lyrics before. Maybe she’d try it some time.

“Thanks for coming out and doing this song with us, by the way,” Lightning said. “I think it’ll really help.

Rainbow smirked. “Yeah, well, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.”

Short Fuse chuckled, but he muttered, “We don’t need any help.” He was Rolling Thunder’s opposite, short and squat. His skin was reddish-orange, and he had light blonde hair that he kept slicked back.

Rainbow had been warned that he didn’t take to jokes well and had a bit of a temper. She decided to try and patch things up before they turned negative by changing the topic. “You really rock on those drums. You been in any bands before?”

“No, I never really planned on being a musician, but…”

“But?”

“But nothing.” Short Fuse frowned.

Lightning Dust rolled her eyes. “Before his therapist suggested he learn the drums.”

“Oh, just like Zest,” Rainbow said. “She learned the drums because of her ADHD.”

“I don’t have ADHD!” Short Fuse said, going from mild irritation to actual anger in the span of one offhand comment.

“Uh, okay.” Rainbow blinked, unsure how to reply.

“Anger management issues,” Short Fuse muttered.

“He’s doing pretty good these days though,” Flash said. “The drums give him an outlet which keeps him calmer.”

“That’s our thing,” Lightning Dust explained. “We all didn’t really fit in somewhere, that’s why we’re The Washouts.”

“I kept getting fired for fighting at work,” Short Fuse explained. “Now no one wants to hire me because my work history is such rubbish. But here… I can make all that anger work for me.”

“And you know my story,” Lightning Dust said. “I’d rather be in a smaller punk band that stays true to the punk roots rather than take fame by playing something I don’t like.”

“What about you?” Rainbow asked Flash.

He smiled sheepishly. “I’m not that complicated. Dust asked me to join, and I thought sure, why not? I took a semester off from school to see how it goes.”

“Sounds like your whole theme is a little shaky,” Rainbow said with a smirk. “Rolling Thunder seemed pretty normal too.”

Lightning Dust laughed. “You have no idea. Thunder is an anarchist. Like, an _actual_ anarchist. She was pretty extreme back in the day, did some time for throwing a brick through the window of a coffee shop chain.”

Rainbow’s mouth fell open. “Holy shit. She didn’t hurt anyone, did she?”

“Nah, just property damage. Anyway, now she writes lyrics about politics and stuff, so we give her a platform to reach more people.”

Rainbow couldn’t help but grin. “You must love that. What’s more punk than anarchy?”

“It’s pretty cool. She’s been turning me on to more political stuff too. There’s a lot of things we never really cared about that we should’ve.”

Rainbow never went in for politics. She knew Gilda cared about all that, and the rest of the band did a little too, but Rainbow herself had always been content to stay out of it.

“Think she’ll try to turn this song political too?” Rainbow asked.

Lightning Dust shrugged. “Probably, but she’s writing with Shy, so who knows?”

Curious, Rainbow pulled out her phone and sent Fluttershy a text message. ‘How are the lyrics coming along?’

It didn’t take long for a reply to come in. ‘Great! I think we should use our platform to talk about important things more often.’

Rainbow couldn’t help but grin. “What’s up?” Lightning Dust asked.

“Nothing.” Rainbow put her phone away. “I just think Shy might want to do more than sad love songs on our next album.”

* * *

“And get this, our dumbass producer didn’t even have us doing guide tracks!”

The band had just finished recording the collaborative song, which was the only track on The Washouts’ album that Fluttershy was producing. Listening to Lightning Dust talk about the other guy they had, it sounded like they were lucky he wasn’t involved in this song.

“Do you think it made your songs come out worse?” Fluttershy asked. They were all sitting around the recording studio, unsure of what to do with all the extra time they had left.

Lightning Dust laughed. “Of course it did. So I started insisting we do them. You know, record properly.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Exactly. Being a traditional punk band doesn’t mean being unprofessional.”

“Yeah, we pretty much were on our own for the rest of the record,” Rolling Thunder said. “We should’ve had you produce it.”

Fluttershy and Rainbow exchanged looks. Neither of them seemed to know how to answer, so they were silent until Short Fuse said, “She’s probably busy with Bitchette stuff, Thunder.”

Lightning Dust sighed. “And… I kinda told her I wanted to work with other producers.”

“So we had to work with that jerkoff for no good reason?” Short Fuse asked irritably.

“There was a good reason,” Fluttershy said. “I was the reason Lightning left the band, after all…”

“No you weren’t,” Lightning Dust said sharply. “I left because _everyone_ else wanted to go in a different direction, not just you.”

“But it was my idea…”

“Shy, it wasn’t your fault,” Rainbow said. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“Besides, things are working well with Gilda, right?” Lightning asked. “And if I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t be working with these knuckleheads.”

Everyone murmured agreements, except for Short Fuse, who grumbled about being called a knucklehead.

Lightning Dust grinned. “But I gotta say, you did a lot better at producing for us than I thought you would. Maybe I was wrong for not inviting you.”

“I just had to keep telling myself it wasn’t a Bitchette song. It was a good reminder to me that my job is to help you achieve _your_ vision instead of my own.”

Lightning Dust nodded. “I don’t know if we’d want a whole album like this, but for a lead single, it turned out pretty perfectly.”

The song had come out with a very raw sound, but it was something they could see getting some radio play. A true collaboration, it fit nicely between the heavier punk sound of The Washouts and the increasingly alternative style that Bitchette was approaching.

“It’s the best thing we’ve recorded and you know it,” Rolling Thunder said.

Fluttershy giggled. “No, Dust is right. I don’t think I could get you the sound you wanted. Uhm, even if it doesn’t sound like your other producer was much help either…”

“At least the album is wrapped up,” Flash said. “We’ll find someone new for the next album.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Maybe I could still help. I’ll keep an eye out and ask around, try to find you all a more reliable producer.”

“That’d be killer,” Rolling Thunder said with a grin.

“But uh…” Flash looked at the empty recording booth. “What do we do now? We had the whole weekend to record that song.”

He had a point; it was only Saturday, and they still had a little time left before their session was up. Lightning didn’t seem to mind, as she just grinned. “Yeah, we tore through it. We’ve never been that focused. I don’t think Bitchette is ever even that focused in the studio.”

“Guess it was just a special song,” Rainbow said. She hadn’t needed to do as much warming up on her voice for her part, which Fluttershy had wanted to sound rough to match Lightning’s vocal style a little better. “One song is easier to focus on than a whole album.”

“I guess,” Lightning said.

“I’m not complaining,” Short Fuse said. “A whole day off sounds nice!”

“Have you recorded any B-sides?” Fluttershy asked.

The band looked around at one another, and eventually Rolling Thunder answered. “They didn’t ask us to.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Of course they didn’t… Okay, what do you say we try to knock one out with the rest of the day? Maybe we can get some extra sales of the single if it has an exclusive song on it.”

“Great, there goes my day off…” Short Fuse grumbled.

“Sorry, Fuse, but I’m with Fluttershy,” Flash said. He pumped his fist. “Let’s do it!”

Fluttershy nodded. “We don’t have time to write another song, so is there something you have written that you didn’t record?”

Lightning Dust shrugged. “We have a few things kicking around, but they’re not as good.”

“It’s a B-side, they don’t have to be as good,” Rainbow said. “Besides, me and Shy can try to shape them up, if you want.”

The Washouts discussed songs and picked one they thought might be a good choice, then they played it for Fluttershy and Rainbow to hear.

When it was done, Fluttershy put her finger to her mouth contemplatively. “Hmm, how many songs do you have?”

Lightning frowned. “A few. Don’t like that one?”

“Hmm? Oh no, it was good.” Fluttershy smiled. “I was just thinking, if we can work on them today, then maybe we can knock them out live in the studio tomorrow. The quality should still be more than suitable for B-sides, and that way you’ll have a few songs to put on singles and stuff.”

Rainbow clapped Fluttershy on the back. “Good thinking, Shy.”

So rather than record anything, the band played through a few more songs. Fluttershy took notes on them as they played, writing things like ‘bridge needs work’ or ‘possible backing vocals in chorus’.

For her part, Rainbow focused more on the guitar work to see if she had any input. She found she rarely did; Flash and Rolling Thunder made a good duo.

They wrapped up the last of their recording time right around when they finished the last song. Unfortunately, the studio wasn’t open at night or they might have just worked a double – they were just going back to Lightning Dust’s to work on the songs, and that meant they had to lug all the instruments around.

But there was nothing to be done about that, so they all pitched in to load everything into the van Lightning Dust had bought for the tour. Rolling Thunder volunteered to ride in the back to make sure the drum kit didn’t roll around due to Lightning Dust’s hazardous driving, and Short Fuse rode in the front with her.

That left Fluttershy and Rainbow to ride with Flash. Without bothering to ask, Fluttershy took the back so Rainbow could sit in the front.

“Thanks for doing this for us,” Flash said as they climbed into his car.

Rainbow shrugged. “We needed to do something with all that free time.”

Flash pulled into the road and followed Lightning Dust’s van. “Not just tomorrow, but today and yesterday too. And just… everything, you know?”

It was all Fluttershy’s idea, and part of how she sold the label on signing The Washouts. The idea was to get as many of Bitchette’s fans on board with the band as possible right from the get-go. There was obviously a connection with Lightning Dust forming the band, but they made it more than that.

They started by releasing Your Impatience, the song Lightning Dust had sung lead on, as a single. Fluttershy fought for it, figuring it could get their fans used to hearing her voice and hyped for her new band. From there, Fluttershy used Bitchette’s social media presence to advertise The Washouts and their upcoming album before announcing they’d join Bitchette on tour.

The duet was the icing on the cake. A song co-written by both Rainbow and Lightning Dust that they both sang lead on, with Fluttershy producing the recording session. That was going to be the lead single on The Washouts’ debut album, and they’d play it live with Rainbow making a guest performance every night. Then, during Bitchette’s set, Lightning Dust would come out to sing Your Impatience with the band.

In the end, the two bands would be completely linked in the minds of the fans. The label got a new act that started with a fanbase, and The Washouts got a leg up.

And since Fluttershy wouldn’t, Rainbow had to live up all the praise. “Yeah, we pretty much saved your band.”

“We just helped give you a headstart,” Fluttershy said. “The Washouts are a great band, you would have been fine without us.”

“Says the person who made it all happen,” Flash said with a smirk.

Rainbow turned around to look at Fluttershy and jerked her head towards Flash. “Probably convinced Flash to join the band too. He was pretty dead set on school until a sure thing came his way.”

“I won’t say it wasn’t a factor,” Flash admitted. “It was a lot easier to join up with a band that already had a good shot at getting signed.”

“I’m sure it was,” Fluttershy said.

Flash frowned about something, then shook his head. Rainbow quirked her head, but he just drove silently. “Something wrong?”

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Flash, we’re going to be living together on this tour. No secrets.”

Flash grimaced, then sighed. “Alright… The truth is I didn’t take a semester off, I dropped out.”

“Really? That’s dedication.” Rainbow didn’t want to say it, but she was glad to hear that. She wanted to know everyone in The Washouts was committed to the band.

“Yeah, well, not a lot of choice.” Flash frowned again. “I’ve been failing my classes for years.”

“Oh shit.” Rainbow frowned as well. “I always thought you were doing super good. You were always working so hard at school.”

Flash shrugged. “Didn’t show for a lot. I learn better when I’m doing something. To tell the truth, I learned more about music when I helped you all record your first demo than I did in the three years of studying that came after.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah. Guess no matter what it looks like, I’m a real Washout through and through.”

“Guess so.” Rainbow grinned. “But hey, if you learn by doing, then you’ll have plenty of chances to learn in a band!”

Flash nodded. “Yeah, that’s the idea. Don’t get me wrong, I love playing shows in The Washouts too, but I really want to learn as much as I can about the studio side of things. That’s what I’m passionate about.”

“You could learn to produce the music yourself,” Fluttershy said. “I could teach you how all the equipment works and give you some pointers.”

“Yeah, we could do another collab recording on our next album,” Rainbow suggested. They were slated to go back into the studio once the summer tour was over. “That’d be a good time for you to come in have Shy show you the ropes.”

Flash chuckled. “I thought music was supposed to be a hard career. You two make this easy.”

Rainbow laughed. “Yeah, we put in the hard work back when Bitchette first started. But I gotta be honest, touring isn’t a breeze. It’s… well, you’ll see.”

“We wouldn’t trade it for the world, though,” Fluttershy said brightly.

Rainbow looked back at Fluttershy and saw her smiling. “Hell yeah!”

Flash nodded. “I’m looking forward to the tour.”

Lightning Dust pulled into the driveway of her house, Flash pulling in behind her. As they got out, Fluttershy lagged behind a little, and she yawned once she finally moved.

Rainbow winced, and she asked a question she knew she didn’t want the answer to. “How much sleep did you get last night.”

“I’m fine,” was Fluttershy’s answer.

Rainbow quirked an eyebrow. “How much?”

Fluttershy frowned. “I didn’t. I was up all night trying things for the song so I would know how to make it work when we got into the studio.”

Rainbow deflated. “Shy…”

“I’m fine!”

Even Flash was concerned, and he didn’t know half of what had been going on with her for the past two months. “That’s not good, Fluttershy.”

Rainbow held out her hand. “Gimme your notes.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m gonna work with the band on those songs while you take a nap.”

“Rainbow –”

“Shy, come on. For me?”

Fluttershy sighed and pushed right past Rainbow, walking up to the house ahead of the other two. “I’m fine,” she spat behind her without turning around.

Rainbow folded her arms and leaned against Flash’s car, a grimace firmly on her face.

“Geez. I’ve never seen Fluttershy like that.”

“Heh, get used to it.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You’ll see a lot more of it on the tour.”

“What happened to her?”

Rainbow couldn’t help but smirk. “You know, people ask me that a lot. It’s a long story.”

“No secrets on tour, right?”

Rainbow shook her head. There was no telling how Flash would react to Sonata and the other Dazzlings showing up again, and that wasn’t even the half of Fluttershy’s problems. “Not now. We have work to do and… it’s a _long_ story.”

“Fair enough, I guess. But you know, I’m always here if either of you needs to talk.”

“I’m not the one who gives up sleep and snaps at my friends about it.”

Flash put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “Yeah, but you’re the one who’s always there for Fluttershy. It’s not always easy to be the support for someone like that. Trust me, I know.”

“You mean Sunset?”

“Yeah. Something tells me she had something to do with how Shy is now, huh?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow shook her head. “Come on, they’ll wonder about us if we don’t head inside.”

“Alright. Just remember what I said.”

“Thanks, Flash.”

Rainbow did appreciate it, even if she wasn’t sure she’d ever take Flash up on that offer. For starters, he was close to Sunset. And besides, she had her whole band in the same boat with her when it came to Fluttershy stuff.

All of that could wait though. For now, she led the way inside, where she’d see if she could convince Fluttershy to take at least a small nap. Whether she succeeded or not, she’d work on some songs with some friends, and try to feel like life was as simple as it should be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breaking news: Local rabbit has no idea how to write these two new characters RIP .-. I’m citing the fact that The Washouts episode isn’t actually canon to this series for any weirdness in their depiction lmao (that and Short Fuse had to be less over the top comical to fit into this story)


	16. Things to Smile About

#### Chapter Sixteen

## Things to Smile About

No matter how many times they did it, Rainbow never got tired of that encore. The audience would go wild as she and Windfall battled back and forth in their guitar solo duet, which culminated in the band exploding back into the song’s final chorus.

“Good work out there,” Rainbow said to Windfall as they walked backstage. “Always knew this guitar battle was a good idea.”

“Oh yeah?” Windfall grinned and shoved Rainbow playfully. “Always?”

“Hell yeah! I know awesome when I see it.”

“Right.” Windfall rolled his eyes and shook his head, then walked on ahead of Rainbow.

“Not bad out there,” Lightning Dust said as they walked backstage. She was leaning back in a chair with her hands behind her head, Flash and Short Fuse sitting in the room around her.

“Not bad yourself,” Rainbow said with a grin. “The Washouts put on a great show tonight.”

“Of course we did!” Lightning grinned proudly. “Like I told you, pretty soon you’ll be the ones opening for us.”

“Don’t count on it,” Rainbow said as she grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off her face. “Ten years from now, you’ll still be opening for us.”

Although truthfully, Rainbow didn’t believe that. Oh sure, Bitchette would _never_ open for The Washouts, but The Washouts were sure to have their own headlining tour someday. The first few weeks of the tour had proven to be quite a success, and their fans were going crazy for The Washouts.

“My drums were too quiet again,” Short Fuse said, his eye twitching.

“That’s ‘cause you never speak up at soundchecks, mate,” Rolling Thunder said as she walked in from somewhere behind them. “Fans coming in.”

Short Fuse stamped his foot. “Soundchecks are stupid!”

“Keep it cool in front of the fans, Fuse,” Lightning Dust reminded him. He grumbled something rude in response.

Flash smiled. “And about the soundchecks, that’s how you get your instrument to sound good.”

Short Fuse groaned.

“We gotta do them anyway,” Rolling Thunder said with a shrug. “Might as well make use of them.”

“Tell you what, I’ll help keep an ear on how you’re sounding tomorrow,” Flash offered.

It didn’t seem to placate Short Fuse, but few things ever did.

Slowly, fans entered the room. There was the usual chorus of how great the show was, requests for autographs, and people wanting to drink with the band.

They grouped together in their usual smaller clusters as their fans came backstage. For how different the two of them were, Windfall and Short Fuse always got on incredibly well. Maybe it was _because_ they were so different. Windfall was a chill guy, which probably helped Short Fuse keep his anger in check. It was also possible that Windfall was happy to have a guy friend after spending several years mostly touring with women.

Gilda and Rolling Thunder enjoyed getting together and talking politics. Gilda seemed to find it nice to have someone there who actually knew and cared about the political side of punk rock. Surprisingly, Lemon Zest liked to join them from time to time. As far as Rainbow had been aware, Lemon Zest had no particular political leanings, but she was proven wrong once there were politically minded people around.

That left Rainbow, Flash, and Lightning to group together. Rainbow enjoyed the sense of normality that Lightning brought with her, it reminded her of the good old days. Likewise, Flash was an old friend from back in high school before life got so complicated.

Although everyone on the tour was fun to be with – even Short Fuse with his temper – Rainbow was particularly happy to have Flash and Lightning Dust. More familiar faces on the tour helped a lot, especially in light of the past few months…

“Uhm, I really liked the show tonight,” a young woman said to Rainbow.

“Thanks,” Rainbow said with a grin. “Always a good thing to hear.”

“I’ve got both your CDs, you’re like, my favorite band.”

Rainbow wondered if she’d say that to any band she saw live, but then, she _did_ bother to buy backstage passes just to see them. “That really means a lot to us.”

Lightning Dust butted Rainbow out of the way. “Still listening to Bitchette? Gotta get with the times, The Washouts are where it’s at these days.”

“Oh, I really liked your band too!” the woman said. “I never heard of you before, but I bought your CD after your set!”

Lightning Dust winked. “Go on, one listen of that and you’ll toss those old Bitchette discs into a fire.”

“Yeah, or she’ll just play our collab on repeat.” Rainbow pushed Lightning Dust back out of her spotlight and turned to the fan. “Trust me, it’s pretty much the reason to get the CD.”

The fan laughed. “I’m sure you all could become my second favorite band.”

“Ha!” Rainbow grinned.

“Yeah, you say that now, but The Washouts are a _real_ punk band. You’ll see.”

“So, uhm…” The woman twirled from side to side, making her skirt sway a bit. “This is embarrassing, but I was wondering if I could get an autograph?”

Rainbow grinned. “Of course!”

“Sure thing!” Lightning Dust said at the same time.

The two frontwomen locked eyes and glared at each other.

Rainbow put an arm around the fan. “She came to see _us_ , she didn’t even know who you were until tonight!”

“She bought _our_ CD!” Lightning put her arm around the fans other shoulder.

The fan was laughing and looked between the singers with a broad smile.

They went back and forth until Flash stepped in to save her. “Hey, I’m Flash, I’m The Washouts’ guitarist. How about we _all_ sign something for you?”

Flash and Lightning Dust signed her CD, then they made the rounds to the others. Meanwhile, since she didn’t have a Bitchette CD, Rainbow grabbed one of the setlists that had been posted around the stage for the band to keep track of what song they were supposed to be playing and signed that.

“We’ve gotta settle this somehow,” Lightning Dust said once everyone from both bands had given out a signature. “I say we have a band battle at one of these shows.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’ll either be rehearsed and prove nothing, or it’ll be improvised and chaotic as fuck.”

“We can have the audience cheer for which one did the best. Whoever gets louder cheers wins.”

It wasn’t that Rainbow was afraid of doing something like that, it was just… “I dunno. Battle of the bands is kinda a sensitive subject.”

“Bullshit, you just don’t want to lose!” Lightning Dust pointed a finger accusatively.

“I know what she’s talking about,” Flash said. “It’s probably not a good idea right now. And anyway, can’t we just agree both our bands kick ass?”

“No!” Rainbow and Lightning said together.

Flash sighed and grabbed Rainbow by the wrist. “Come on, I’m separating you two.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes but followed him anyway. “Okay, _mom._ ”

Someone behind her laughed, and she turned to see the fan from before. She looked embarrassed to be seen. “Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Rainbow put on a grin. “No worries, backstage is all about the fans! You enjoying yourself?”

“I am, I was just wondering, uhm…” She blushed. “Maybe I could get you a drink.”

Rainbow was pretty sure where this was going, but she decided to not assume anything. “It’s an open bar back here, but we can grab a drink.”

She led them to the bar, where the three of them each grabbed a beer and sat down. “I can’t believe I’m drinking with _the_ Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow grinned and popped open her beer. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Flash leaned in and whispered loud enough for Rainbow to hear him. “Usually from herself when she looks in the mirror.”

Rainbow reached across the fan to punch him on the shoulder.

The fan giggled and blushed again. “So, uhm… what are you doing after you leave here?”

Oh yeah, Rainbow had definitely been right about where this was going. She took a drink of her beer. “Sorry, but Fluttershy wrote the gay song. She’s my sister, and she’s not here tonight.”

“Oh.” The fan’s face grew even redder, and she looked down into her lap.

Rainbow clapped her on the back. “But hey, I’m flattered! And believe me, you’re _not_ the first person to make that mistake.”

“I just… I’m sorry!” The fan got up and ran off without even taking her drink.

Rainbow reached out after her, then deflated as she disappeared into the crowd. She turned back around and took another drink of her beer. “There’s no good way to break that to people.”

Flash switched seats so he was sitting beside Rainbow. “Does it bother you to have people assume that you’re gay?”

Rainbow shrugged. “No, it bothers me that people think it bothers me! I don’t give a shit, but people act like they disappointed me by thinking I might like girls.” She flipped her rainbow-colored hair. “Like, I get it, you know?”

“Yeah.” Flash drank his beer. “Guess you probably get it a lot though.”

“All the time. I don’t know if it’s more because of the hair or Broken Mirror.” Rainbow finished her beer. She didn’t see a trash can, so she left the can on the table.

Flash smirked. “So is it all girls, or do you get guys trying to hook up with you too?”

“Mostly girls. The guys probably _also_ think I’m gay.”

Flash laughed. “Probably for the best. You don’t want to sleep with random people.”

“Speak for yourself, I wanna get laid from time to time.”

Flash laughed harder. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

Rainbow laughed as well. “But yeah, you’re probably right. Better to stick with people I know.”

Flash nodded. “I agree. I haven’t had any girls throwing themselves at me, but I don’t think I’d really go in for that. Felt pretty shitty after my last casual hookup.”

“I think Windfall’s had some girls go after him, so it’s not like it’s just gay girls. You know, if you ever change your mind.”

“Nah, I’d rather be in a real relationship.”

“You ever get a stable girlfriend?” Rainbow glanced away. “Other than high school, I mean.”

“No. A few flings, but I was busy trying to not flunk out of college.”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, fair. Well hey, maybe something can work out for you on the tour.”

Flash finished his beer and threw the can into the trash can that Rainbow had failed to see earlier. He turned to smile at Rainbow. “You know, I’ve kinda been hoping for exactly that.”

Rainbow punched him on the arm and grinned. “You could totally land a girlfriend! You’re the lead guitarist of a fucking band now, it doesn’t get any cooler than that!”

Flash smirked. “What about lead guitarist and lead singer?”

“Look, if you wanna date me, you could just ask.”

They both laughed, and Rainbow checked the time on her phone. “I should go check on Fluttershy.”

“Yeah…” Flash looked down at the ground. “How’s she been doing these days?”

It was a point of frustration that Rainbow needed to answer that question. In the past, Fluttershy was so present at their shows that she was basically another band member. But now? Now people needed to ask Rainbow how she was doing.

“She’s, you know.” Rainbow fidgeted in place. “She’s hanging in there.”

“Good. Say hi to her for me?”

“Yeah, of course.” Rainbow called for a taxi and then stood up.

“Or hey, want me to come with you?” Flash asked. “Maybe another friendly face would help.”

“If she was anyone else, I’d say sure. But Fluttershy is, well… I think it’s better if I go alone.”

“Fair enough.” Flash scratched at his neck. “I’m just worried about her. We all are, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Flash waited with her until the taxi came, then saw her outside. Rainbow wasn’t sure if he was just that old fashioned or if he thought she’d have a change of heart and tell him to come along with her anyway. Either way, once she was in the taxi, he could only wave her off.

“Ah, the Bitchette show,” the taxi driver said as they drove away. “I wanted to go, but I couldn’t get the night off.”

Rainbow grinned, happy she got the chance to make someone’s night. “You’re a fan?”

“Yeah, got into them about a year ago.”

“What’s your favorite song?”

“Hmm…” He thought for a moment, then said, “I’d say No Life.”

Rainbow sang the chorus of the song, and he looked at her more intently. “Wait, are you…?”

“Rainbow Dash, lead singer.”

“Oh my gosh!” The driver’s face lit up and he watched her from the rearview mirror. “I can’t believe you’re in my cab!”

Rainbow laughed. “Hey, always cool to meet a fan.”

They talked about the band and what it was like to play with them the whole way to the hotel. He seemed genuinely ecstatic to have met her, and when the ride was over, he asked for a picture.

So they got out of the cab and stood on the sidewalk to snap a quick picture, then he shook her hand and went on his way.

It gave her something to smile about on the way into the hotel. Which was good, because she needed things to smile about these days.

That wasn’t fair, not really. Rainbow had plenty of things to smile about. She had a successful band, she was on tour with friends, people genuinely loved to see her. All in all, she had it made, and she knew that.

She only wished she could share some of those good feelings with Fluttershy. Rainbow checked the notes in her phone to find Fluttershy’s room number and rode the elevator to her floor.

She took a deep breath when she reached Fluttershy’s door and braced herself for what she might find inside. Whatever it was is what it would be, so she knocked and waited for Fluttershy to answer it.

When she did, she had a guitar strapped to her back. “Oh, hi, Rainbow.”

“Hey, Shy. Working on a new song?”

Fluttershy stood aside, so Rainbow walked into the room. The guitar was a seafoam green V-shaped model, and it had been Fluttershy’s for three years. It was old, but she insisted on using that one instead of trading up, no matter how much money they made.

“Maybe. It’s not much of a song just yet. Maybe just an intro.”

Rainbow smiled. _Now_ she really had something to smile about. Fluttershy seemed to be sober, and she didn’t look like she’d been crying or anything of the sort. “Cool! You should totally play it.”

Fluttershy nodded and played what she had. Like she said, it wasn’t much of a song yet, but it would make a good introduction.

“Got any lyrics in mind?” Rainbow asked.

“No, just that.”

“You know, Lightning Dust said sometimes Rolling Thunder writes the lyrics before they come up with the music.”

“Really?” Fluttershy took a seat. “I really like her lyrics. I want to try writing more stuff like that.”

“Like political stuff?”

“Yeah. I think… I think I have a lot I’d like to say about the world. I’ve seen a lot of shit, it might be nice to get some of it out.”

“Yeah! And we got the new album we need to write for.”

“Yeah…” Fluttershy looked off to the side. “Uhm, actually I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “I have a lot I want to get out. More than just a few songs, but I don’t want to dominate the next Bitchette album when I’m not even in the band.”

“Hmm…” Rainbow put her hand to her chin. “Three guitarists might be a bit much, but I guess you could join the band.”

Fluttershy smiled, which was what Rainbow had been hoping for. “I think I want to do an album.”

It wasn’t that shocking, but somehow Rainbow was still shocked. “You mean like your own thing?”

“Mmm, I was thinking, maybe if you wanted to…” Fluttershy twiddled her fingers. “Maybe we could do it together? Just the two of us?”

“We don’t play drums, Shy.”

“Yeah… I was going to ask Lemon Zest to teach me, but we might have to program them. I’ve made a few drum beats on the computer.”

“I guess that’s true.”

Rainbow didn’t say anything else right away, so after a moment, Fluttershy said, “I mean, you don’t have to. I just… think I could be more open if you’re there with me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…” Rainbow scratched her neck. “I mean, we’ve got the next Bitchette album to do, right? And then we’ll be touring with that.”

“Oh, we don’t have to tour.” Fluttershy’s mouth worked through a couple different variations of a frown. “Actually, I think I’d rather not tour for it. I… don’t want to be on the stage. But I’d still like to do one.”

“So what were you thinking we’d each do for it?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “Just whatever needed to be done. We both play guitar, bass, and sing. I can play the keyboard a little. I was thinking we could write each song as a duet, no matter who wrote it.”

“Well… sure, why not?” Rainbow smiled as an idea occurred to her. “If we write some stuff on the tour, it won’t take away from the Bitchette writing sessions.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I have so much inside me, I think I could write for both albums easily.”

Rainbow laughed. “Yeah, well, if I’m on it, I wanna be able to write some of it too. You can do most of the lyrics if you want, that way it’s all your story. I’m happy just helping here and there and working on the music.”

“That sounds perfect.”

What sounded perfect to Rainbow was that if they started this project on the tour, then it would give Fluttershy something to focus on that wasn’t a bottle of alcohol. Maybe it would be just the thing she needed to get out of this funk she was in.

“Let’s get started then,” Rainbow said. “Here, hand me the guitar, I wanna play around with that melody.”

“Alright.” Fluttershy took off the guitar and handed it to Rainbow. She started playing the melody that Fluttershy had shown her and made little changes here and there. “What about something like this?”

They both got sucked into the songwriting session, and the two of them were up late into the night. That was a problem for Fluttershy these days, not sleeping enough. But for once, Rainbow wasn’t worried. This seemed like a healthy outlet for Fluttershy, and for once, Rainbow got to be involved with that in a way she was actually confident.

It may only be an intro, but Rainbow hoped this would lead into a brighter song for Fluttershy’s future. At the very least, it did give them something to smile about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People sometimes ask me what Bitchette sounds like, but what I really wanna know is what this side project sounds like. If I were a musician I’d probably make albums for all these artists, but definitely for this Rainbow-Fluttershy project lol


	17. Following the Lead

#### Chapter Seventeen

## Following the Lead

It was getting pathetic.

No, there was no sense in beating around the bush, it _was_ pathetic.

More to the point, Fluttershy was pathetic. How could she just sit there in her hotel room on today of all days? What the hell was wrong with her? She never used to be like this.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She hated who she saw. At least her hair had grown in enough for Gilda to even it out after her disastrous attempt to cut her own hair a few months back, so she wasn’t _as_ ugly. Still, even if she was the most beautiful girl in the world, she would still hate the person she saw looking back at her.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” she said aloud. She said that a lot these days. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Someone had to say it, since everyone else was also feeling sorry for her. As if that would somehow help her, as if her friends wasting their time caring about a useless excuse for a person was good for anyone.

It didn’t really matter what she told herself. She rarely listened.

She glanced towards the bathtub. It was dumb. It wasn’t even the same bathtub, but she hated it all the same. All hotel baths had become one to her, and all of them were ruined. She had thought that morning had meant something, and it had.

To herself, and to no one else.

That was what it was all about. That was why she was sitting alone in her hotel room on the one day she should drag her ass out more than any other.

_‘Stop lying to yourself, you were always a stupid fuck up bitch.’_

With a sigh, Fluttershy left the bathroom. She went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of scotch from the fridge and poured it into a disposable hotel glass. She estimated that she poured herself a double, but she knew it was probably a little more.

She knocked it back all the same. She thought about pouring another, but she put the bottle away. There would be plenty of time for that later.

This hotel actually had a little room for its kitchen, which she supposed was nice. It just meant more footsteps between where she was and the bed in practice. She stopped along the way to grab her guitar.

She frowned at the guitar and considered, not for the first time, smashing it into little pieces. Why the fuck did Sunset give her this stupid thing? Was it not enough for Sunset to leave her life forever? Did she really need to rub salt in the wound by giving her something to remember her by?

Fluttershy didn’t smash the guitar. She’d sooner die than let anything actually happen to it, not that those words meant much these days. She almost felt like she’d sooner die than live when it came down to it.

Instead, she just played one of the songs she and Rainbow had been working on. She didn’t like writing those songs without Rainbow, but she did play them on her own a lot. The songwriting sessions had become a regular part of their routine. After the shows, after the afterparty, Rainbow would come to Fluttershy’s room and the two of them would spend an hour or two playing around on their guitars and coming up with ideas.

It made her happy. And she was happy, really. She had a lot to be happy about these days, and she knew that. Which was why she was also an ingrate for sitting around feeling miserable when she had so much going for her, especially on today of all days.

She looked at the door. She could do it. She could just go to the concert venue. It wasn’t like anything was stopping her.

She played her song instead.

The minutes were fed by her inaction until they grew into hours, which weighed on her until she could do nothing but collapse onto the bed. She stared at the ceiling and, again, questioned what was wrong with her.

“No!” Fluttershy shot up and looked at the clock. It was almost eleven, which meant she still had time. Bitchette would finish their set around eleven, so she would miss the show, but she could be there for the afterparty.

Suddenly moving like it was the place she wanted to be most in the world, Fluttershy ordered a cab as quickly as she could and then dressed. She hadn’t showered in a week, but there wasn’t time to do anything about that. She grabbed her purse and ran out the door.

She was barely waiting around the hotel lobby by the time her cab arrived. The driver greeted her, but didn’t try to make conversation. Usually Fluttershy wondered if that was because of her punk appearance, but this time she didn’t stop to question it. The last thing she really wanted was to talk to someone anyway.

Which was why she had to swallow down a lump in her throat as she reached the venue. It would be filled with people, and some of them would want to talk to her. Even if she could get by without talking to any fans, the bands would be a different matter.

 _‘They’re your friends,’_ Fluttershy reminded herself, as if knowing she was a standoffish bitch these days made being so any better.

She thanked the driver and walked around to the back of the building. The back door was locked, so she texted Rainbow to let her in. Only when the text was sent did she lose her nerve, but then it was too late.

The door opened and Rainbow was looking at her in surprise. Slowly, she broke into a grin. “Shy, you came!”

Fluttershy walked forward and hugged Rainbow in the doorway. “Happy birthday, Dash.”

Rainbow hugged her back quickly, then stepped back inside. “You say that like we didn’t just see each other this morning.”

Fluttershy followed her in. “Yeah, but this is your party.”

“I’m glad you came.”

Fluttershy looked around, quickly spotting the rest of the band. Everyone seemed to be drinking, which was to be expected on Rainbow’s birthday. Someone must have run out to a liquor store, since they were drinking out of plastic red cups instead of beer bottles or cans.

“What are you drinking.”

Rainbow frowned, and Fluttershy hoped she wouldn’t get a lecture. “Champagne.”

Fluttershy laughed. Rainbow had never really gone in for wine. “Guess it’s a special occasion.”

“Yeah, well, someone bought it. Not really sure who, but it’s a party, right?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Is there any left?”

“Uh, I think so, let’s go check.”

Fluttershy followed Rainbow to a counter, which had a couple bottles of champagne. The first she grabbed was empty, but the second had some in it still. Rainbow poured Fluttershy a cup. “Cheers.”

Fluttershy bumped her cup against Rainbow’s. “Cheers.”

“Is that Fluttershy?” Lightning Dust came up from behind her and hugged her. “Shy! I’m like… really drunk.”

Fluttershy laughed and took a sip of her champagne. “You all didn’t leave me enough champagne to get drunk with you.”

Lightning laughed. “Oh, there’s more behind the counter. I think someone here owns a liquor store or something, he brought like, so so much when he heard it was Dash’s day.” She scrunched up her face at Rainbow, who was grimacing. “I don’t think Dash wanted me to tell you that.”

Rainbow facepalmed, but Fluttershy laughed. “Aww, come on, Dashie. I haven’t been drinking too much lately, you know that.”

Rainbow sighed. “Yeah, whatever. Just… watch yourself.”

“I will.” Fluttershy sipped her champagne.

“Hey, Flash!” Lightning Dust yelled. “Comere, Fluttershy’s here! What? No, I don’t care you’re talking to someone, get your ass over here and say hi!”

Fluttershy couldn’t decide between giggling and facepalming, so she did both. Within a moment, Flash obeyed. He brought Lemon Zest with him.

“Hey, stranger,” Flash said with a smile. Fluttershy bit back her guilt as best she could. “Glad to see you come out for a change.”

Lemon Zest elbowed him. “Hey, Shy can stay in the hotel if she wants. Still, it’s good to see you.”

Fluttershy felt bad for how little her friends saw her off the tour bus these days. She told herself that was still a few hours each day, but even then, she often hid in the back napping since she rarely slept in hotels anymore.

Next to notice her was Gilda, who brought Rolling Thunder. Fluttershy didn’t know Thunder all that well, but she still made a big deal about Fluttershy being there. Fluttershy had to refill her drink by the time they let go of her.

Windfall was the last to notice her. At least Short Fuse didn’t seem to care whether she was there or not, and Windfall was casual as always about it. Still, the added attention had her drinking again.

She soon lost track of how much she’d drunk. The glasses kept getting emptied just as they kept getting refilled. She told herself it was to help her loosen up and enjoy herself, but all it did was make her not want to be there.

Not that she wanted to be there anyway. She was there because it was Rainbow’s birthday, not because she was in the mood to hang out at a concert’s afterparty. She didn’t do that anymore. Not since she’d been rushed to the hospital.

“Fluttershy, come dance with me!” Lightning said unexpectedly.

“What?” Fluttershy took a step back. “Er, no. I’ve had a bit too much to dance.”

“That’s the best time to dance!” Lightning insisted. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I… I think I need to go sit down.”

Although Lightning looked a little disappointed, Fluttershy left and found herself a couch that was as out of the way as she could get. Before long, she found herself lying down, trying to keep the room from spinning so much.

Why was she here? This was a dumb idea, she didn’t like parties at the best of times, and it _hadn’t_ been the best of times for months. And really, it had been much longer than that. Part of her wondered what the best of times for her had actually been, but only a small part. The rest of her was just trying to keep grounded.

Eventually all those thoughts faded away. In their place, she found herself dancing with Lightning Dust. She was too drunk to dance, she knew that, but it didn’t seem to matter. Her feet moved on their own, and she was surprised to find she was actually enjoying herself.

“Told you you’d have fun,” Lightning said.

Fluttershy smiled. She didn’t do that enough these days. “Yeah, you were right. Thank you for talking me into dancing with you.”

“Hey, no sweat.” Lightning showed her a confident grin. “But I think someone else wants a turn.”

“Oh?” Fluttershy looked around, and her jaw dropped when she saw who Lightning Dust was referring to.

Sonata held out her hand apprehensively. “Can I have this dance?”

Fluttershy’s confusion passed, and she took Sonata’s hand. The music changed as she did. It had been a heavy yet danceable rock song, but now it morphed into a softer ballad. Sonata smiled at her and placed one hand on her waist.

It wasn’t that Fluttershy didn’t have questions. She did, of course. It was just that this was too perfect to let things like that get in the way. She smiled and leaned into Sonata, letting her worries melt away as she did.

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me,” Sonata said softly.

“I’m just glad you’re back,” Fluttershy answered.

They danced together in blissful unity, and Fluttershy could scarcely remember a time when she was happier. Everything else faded away, even the music seemed to feel distant. There was Fluttershy and there was Sonata, and that was all there needed to be.

At least, until she felt another hand curl around her waist, then moments later, another hand found its way to where she and Sonata were holding hands. “Mind if I cut in?”

Fluttershy didn’t have to look to see who her new dance partner was. She’d never forget that voice, although she never thought she’d hear it again. It was all she could do to keep from crying. “Sunny?”

Sunset spun her around, extending her arm but not letting go of Fluttershy, so that she was two arms’ lengths away from Sunset. Finally getting to look her in the face, Fluttershy did find tears welling up. Sunset was smiling, and she was so beautiful. Had Fluttershy ever really appreciated how beautiful Sunset was before?

“Hey, no crying while I’m here,” Sonata said. Sunset pulled Fluttershy back, and Sonata lifted her up and spun them both around before putting her down.

And Fluttershy smiled. She smiled so much.

Their dance had gone completely out of her control. Sonata and Sunset took the lead, and Fluttershy let them guide her along. One of them would spin her, and the other would catch her. Back and forth, the two of them in perfect sync as Fluttershy lost herself in the moment.

Fluttershy didn’t want it to end. It was all she could ask for, and she never wanted to stop. She could dance forever, as long as it was with Sunset and Sonata.

“Ready for the big finish?” Sunset asked. Fluttershy looked at her quizzically, unsure of what sort of finish she had in mind. She didn’t want to stop, but as with everything else in their dance, it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice.

Sunset and Sonata both lifted her by her midriff, high into the air over their heads. For one moment, Fluttershy felt like she was on top of the world. She was as delicate and graceful as a ballerina, as if nothing in the past few years had happened.

And then the hands let go of her. Both Sunset and Sonata let her go, and she knew they were gone.

She fell then, too shocked to scream. She was falling, and there would be no one to catch her. And worst of all, this was all her fault. No one would want to stay with someone like her. Why would they? Fluttershy was not delicate and graceful, she was a wreck.

And she fell. She fell for longer than she should have, she knew that. She wasn’t even sure if she was falling to the floor or to somewhere far lower. Perhaps she was going to fall all the way to Hell, where people like her deserved to be.

That was it. She was falling into Hell. It was the only place for her. She was a disgusting alcoholic who hurt the people she cared about, and then she had the audacity to blame them for it. She’d nearly drank herself to death once, and she’d thought about finishing the job every single day since then. There was nowhere else for her.

And then she’d never see Sky again.

Fluttershy rose with a start, finding herself sitting on a couch. She looked around and saw Gilda was sitting next to her, staring at her phone.

The party. Fluttershy was at Rainbow’s birthday party. She rubbed her eyes and squinted at her friend. “Gilda?”

“Hey, Shy. Party a bit too hard?”

Fluttershy groaned and shifted so that she was sitting properly, putting her feet down on the floor. “Was I asleep?”

“Snoring like a baby. Speaking of which, I had to come babysit your drunk ass to make sure nothing happened to you.”

Fluttershy bowed her head. Now she was ruining her friend’s night. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s cool. You’d do the same for me.”

Fluttershy would, sure. If she was sober enough to, that is. She was never sober enough to do anything useful these days. “Yeah, of course.”

Gilda’s face was expressionless, giving no hints to how she might feel. “How about we get you a taxi?”

“No, not yet. It’s Dash’s birthday.”

“Dash’s birthday ended like half an hour ago,” Gilda pointed out.

“I’ll leave when she does.”

Gilda sighed. “Whatever, I’m not your mom.”

Fluttershy winced. What would her mom say if she saw her now? She used to be such a good daughter… “I miss my mom.”

“Oh shit.” Gilda stood up and stretched. “Yeah, I’ll make sure no one tries shit with you, but if you’re gonna get weepy drunk? I’m finding Rainbow.”

“No, forget I said that.” Fluttershy held her head in her hands. Why couldn’t she just keep her stupid mouth shut? “I don’t want to bother Dash.”

“Yeah, no, I’m finding her. Wait here.”

Fluttershy watched as Gilda walked away. She held out her hand to try and stop her from going, but it did nothing.

Well, she didn’t need to be there when Rainbow arrived. Fluttershy got up herself and stumbled over to the bar. She remembered what Lightning said about the champagne behind the counter and found herself a bottle.

Afraid someone would tell her off for drinking, she poured her cup and sat down behind the counter, relatively out of sight. She sighed and wondered why she had bothered to come in the first place, then drowned that thought in bubbly alcohol.

She liked the bubbles, at least.

She tried to remember her dream, but the music was so loud that it blocked out her thoughts clearly. Sunset and Sonata were there, she remembered that, and they danced with her. But when she tried to remember things like how they danced, the specifics faded from her memory.

She drained the last of the champagne from her cup, then she refilled it. It was a stupid dream. Sunset was off living her perfect little life with her girlfriends, and Sonata was… doing whatever she was doing. They didn’t care about her.

Fluttershy drank.

No one disturbed her, but she did eventually get bored. She finished her second glass of champagne, decided she might throw up if she had another, and stood up with some difficulty.

It didn’t take long before she was noticed. Windfall saw her, and he called out to someone, “I got her!” then walked over.

“Hi,” Fluttershy said meekly.

Windfall didn’t say anything at first, just took the bottle of champagne that she didn’t realize she was still holding. He set it on the counter, then put a hand on her shoulder to guide her away. “How you feeling?”

“Pretty good,” Fluttershy said. “I’m not going to cry.”

Windfall scrunched up his face. “What?”

“I won’t be a weepy drunk, so I’m okay.”

Windfall shook his head. “I don’t care if you cry, I just don’t want you to pass out.”

“Oh. Well, I won’t do that either.”

Rainbow and Lemon Zest walked up to her together, and Rainbow took Fluttershy’s other side. “Come on, we’re getting you out of here.”

“No. I’m not leaving until you’re ready to go.”

“Well, I’m ready to go,” Rainbow said, but Fluttershy wasn’t drunk enough to miss how irritated she sounded. Fluttershy was being a burden again, like she always was.

“I’m sorry.” Fluttershy hugged Rainbow and couldn’t manage to keep all of her tears inside her. “I’m ruining your birthday.”

“You’re fine, I just want you to be safe.”

“I _am_ safe.” Fluttershy pulled away and wiped her eyes. “You need to enjoy yourself. I’ll… I’ll go back to the hotel, just stay here and have fun.”

“Shy…”

“I’ve got an idea,” Lemon Zest said. “How about we go for a walk, Shy? Just the two of us.”

“A walk?”

Lemon Zest nodded. “Yeah, that way you don’t have to worry about leaving before Dash and she doesn’t have to worry about where you are and what you’re up to.”

“I guess that’d be okay.” Fluttershy frowned as the implications sunk in. “Wait! That means you’ll miss the party!”

Lemon Zest laughed. “Hey, the party is wherever the fuck I say it is, and I say it’s with you.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Rainbow frowned, but she let go of Fluttershy. “Just… be safe, you two. Call us if you need us.”

“Yeah, of course,” Lemon Zest said. “Come on, Shy.”

Rainbow and Windfall saw them to the door, then Fluttershy and Lemon Zest walked into the warm summer night together.

“So where are we going?” Fluttershy asked.

“Wherever the hell we want!” Lemon Zest said defiantly. A moment later she lost her fire as she added, “Uh, where the hell do we wanna go?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “I don’t know this city.”

Lemon Zest pulled out her phone and looked up the area they were in. “There’s a park nearby. Wanna go there?”

“Sure.” Fluttershy smiled, and she followed Lemon Zest’s lead.

The night was warm, but not too hot. The mid-July days were too hot for Fluttershy’s liking, but at least she could walk in the night without melting into a puddle of Fluttershy. It was also comfortingly well lit, with plenty of streetlights in what Fluttershy assumed was the city’s downtown district.

They walked along clean sidewalks, and didn’t come across many other people. It was the middle of the night, after all.

Although that got Fluttershy thinking. “Is it safe to be out at night?”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “It is if I hold your hand.”

Fluttershy smiled. “That won’t do us much good if someone tries to mug us.”

“Maybe, but it would make you feel better.”

“Well… yes.”

Lemon Zest cupped her hand around Fluttershy’s, and both girls smiled at each other.

They walked for what felt like maybe five minutes before they reached the park, although Fluttershy was too drunk to judge time with any level of certainty. There was a lake in the middle with a path that extended around it, which they walked along.

“It’s nice out tonight,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, this is way better than that stuffy afterparty.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Did you really want to leave?”

“Of course I did.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, promise.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure if she believed Lemon Zest, but she smiled anyway. If it was a lie, it was a comforting one.

Fluttershy suddenly came to a stop. “Shit!”

Lemon Zest stared at her wide-eyed. “What’s wrong?”

Fluttershy facepalmed. “I left my purse at the venue.”

“Oh. Hold on, I’ll call Rainbow.” Lemon Zest thought for a moment. “Nah, I’ll call Windfall.”

She pulled out her phone and tapped on her screen a few times, then pressed it to her ear. “Hey. No everything’s cool, Shy just forgot her purse there.” She paused for a moment, then held the phone away from her mouth. “Do you know where you left it?”

“Uhm…” Fluttershy thought back to when she last had it, but she couldn’t think clearly. “Maybe behind the counter?”

“Check behind the bar.” They waited in silence for a few moments before Lemon Zest said. “No, it’s not there.”

“Shit. I’m so stupid…”

“Hey, none of that.” Lemon Zest sighed. “Can you just look around for it? Cool, let us know when you find it.”

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said.

“Shy says thank you. Yeah, just text me.”

Lemon Zest hung up her phone and put it in her pocket, then she took hold of Fluttershy’s hand again. Fluttershy didn’t feel like she deserved to hold Lemon Zest’s hand anymore, but she didn’t say anything.

Lemon Zest started walking again. “So, Shy…”

“Yeah?”

Lemon Zest frowned. “Are you okay?”

Fluttershy smiled. “I’m –”

“Fine, I know.” Lemon Zest squeezed her hand. “That’s what you always say. But, like… for real though. We’re here for you, you know?”

“I know, and I appreciate it.” Fluttershy was making her friends worry about her. Why did she have to be such a bother all the time?

“I know you know, but like, do you?” Lemon Zest frowned. “Because something’s not normal and you aren’t coming to talk to us about it.”

“I just… I have a lot on my mind lately.”

Lemon Zest sighed. “Ever since Sonata left.”

Fluttershy didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry. I really am, I know it’s painful to talk about it. But _not_ talking about it is making you miserable, we can all see it. You’re barely around, and when you are, you seem so out of it.”

“I’m… not sleeping well.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” Lemon Zest stopped them to turn Fluttershy to face her. She looked at Fluttershy for a moment then hugged her.

“Zest –”

“You’re _not_ fine. You _need_ to talk about what’s going on.”

“I just…” Fluttershy clenched her teeth to try and keep from crying. “I don’t like sleeping alone. And since I don’t go to shows anymore, I don’t ever meet girls to take back to my room with me…”

“Then I’ll sleep with you.” Lemon Zest laughed as soon as she said it. “Wait, you know what I mean.”

“Zest…”

“Hey, you did it for me, right? When I couldn’t sleep without my teddy bear.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Yeah, but…”

“But that was me and you’re you?” Lemon Zest lightly punched Fluttershy on the shoulder. “Come on, enough of the double standards. You’re like, one of my best friends. I’m totally down to cuddle you.”

Fluttershy didn’t know what to say, so she went back to walking. Lemon Zest quickly caught up to her and held her hand once again.

She wanted to agree. She definitely wanted to agree. She wanted to leave the park and go back to the hotel right there and then to finally get a good night’s sleep with someone to hold.

But… Lemon Zest was a friend. The last time Fluttershy had tried to blur the lines with a friend, well… she wound up hospitalizing herself then becoming a recluse.

“I wish I knew what I meant to Sonata,” Fluttershy said suddenly. “I wish I knew why she didn’t say goodbye. I replay that morning all the time, and I just… I wish I knew.”

“Yeah, I feel you there. That was way uncool of her.”

“I remember that she was going to come with us on the tour bus, but then Adagio said they needed her that day. So… maybe she didn’t know they were leaving?”

“Maybe.” Lemon Zest didn’t sound like she believed it, and it was easy to see why.

“But then she would’ve tried to leave a message for me with the roadies.” Fluttershy winced. “I know that too. I tell myself every day, if she really cared, even if she didn’t know she was leaving, she would’ve left me a message.”

“You were really hung up on her.”

Fluttershy shook her head. She saw a bench, so she led them to it and took a seat. Lemon Zest sat beside her, still holding her hand. “I didn’t love her. Not exactly. I loved… I did love _being_ with her. I maybe could have loved her, if she stuck around. But I think… I loved believing someone loved me.”

“I love you,” Lemon Zest said as if it was obvious.

Fluttershy looked at her in confusion, so she smiled. “Shy, like I said, you’re one of my best friends. Of course I love you. We all do.”

Oh, that’s what she meant. Of course it was. Fluttershy smiled and shook her head. “It’s not quite the same.”

“Well… why not?”

“What do you mean?”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “I mean, like, why isn’t it the same? Sure, it means we don’t do exactly the same thing together, but like, you have a lot of people who care about you. You saw how many people were happy when you showed up today.”

Fluttershy frowned. “I know. Everyone’s so nice to me, and I…”

“Don’t say something mean about yourself. I know you don’t like yourself much, but we all love you. Just… try to focus on that the same way you focused on Sonata.”

Fluttershy ran a hand through her hair. “It’s not just Sonata, even with Sunset, I – oh!”

Lemon Zest followed Fluttershy’s gaze to see two rabbits hopping by. They stopped and looked at the two girls.

Fluttershy beamed, it had been so long since she got to see a rabbit. She barely got to see any animals on tour, even cats and dogs. She had forgotten how much she loved them until she was face to face with a couple adorable bunnies.

They stared at the two girls for a minute, then they hopped along leisurely. Lemon Zest placed an arm around Fluttershy’s shoulder, and Fluttershy leaned into her.

“So, uh, what were you saying?”

Fluttershy shook her head, nuzzling against Lemon Zest in the process. “Can we just… stay like this for a bit?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Fluttershy smiled, feeling just a little better by her friend’s presence. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath and had to smile. “How do you even smell like lemons?”

“It’s just the shampoo I use.”

“I didn’t know they made lemon-scented shampoo.”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “I’m full of surprises.”

Fluttershy closed her eyes and let herself feel peace. “Yeah. You are.”


	18. Little Things

#### Chapter Eighteen

## Little Things

It was a little odd that someone who had once sprouted wings and flown on her own should still be so enamored by flying on an airplane, but Rainbow always loved it. She sat in the window seat and watched the clouds roll by beneath them.

“I swear, you’re such a kid sometimes,” Lightning Dust said as she watched Rainbow stare out the window.

Usually Rainbow and Fluttershy sat next to each other on planes, but Fluttershy had wanted to sit next to Lemon Zest this time. Rainbow was a little confused, but it was a chance to get some relatively one on one time with Lightning Dust.

At the moment, that meant telling her off. “What’s wrong with enjoying the scenery? How often do you get to be above the world like this?”

“I mean yeah, it’s cool, but how can you be interested in clouds and stuff for so long? You’ve been staring out of that window for pretty much the whole flight.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because there’s so much else to do.”

Lightning held up a book. “Catch up on some reading?”

It was true that Rainbow had picked up reading since being in a band. It wasn’t something she used to do a lot, but spending hours every day on a tour bus had expanded her interests as she continuously looked for new ways to pass the time. But still… “Come on, you can read any time. A view like _this_ doesn’t come every day.”

“No, just a couple of times a year. Honestly, doesn’t it lose its appeal after all the times we’ve flown back home?”

“No.” Rainbow turned back to the window. Maybe it was _because_ she had once been able to fly on her own that she enjoyed flying on a plane so much. Watching the clouds below her reminded her a little of what that had been like.

Lightning Dust just chuckled and shifted in her seat. “Well, I can’t wait until we get there. We’ve gotta be almost home now right?”

Rainbow reached into her pocket and pulled out her crumpled up ticket. She unfolded it and checked the time. “Yeah, ticket says we’ve only got another twenty minutes or so.”

“Sweet. I hate these cramped seats and not getting to move around. Give me a tour bus any day.”

Even with her love for the view, Rainbow didn’t disagree. Still, sometimes flying was the best option. “If it means more time relaxing at home, I don’t mind it. Driving would take up most of our week off.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The tour was currently stalled on the other side of the country with a week gap between shows. That happened from time to time, and when it did, the band liked to head home to visit with friends and family.

Well, most of them did. “I’m just gonna sleep all week,” Lightning said as she stretched out.

Rainbow smirked. “Yeah, your sister gonna let you do that?”

“Well… no, probably not.” Although Lightning and Indigo Zap were very different, they did spend a lot of time together. Lightning Dust was older, but she seemed to look up to her studious younger sister in a way. Between the two of them, Indigo had been good at things like school, landing a position in Crystal Prep while Lightning had gone to a public school.

“Speaking of family, how are things going with yours?” Lightning asked.

Rainbow shrugged. “Same as always. They come out to see us when we play Everton, but they don’t really get the whole thing, you know?”

“Yeah, I hear that. Same with my family.”

“Whatever.” Rainbow smiled. “I got Fluttershy. That’s all the family I need, you know?”

Lightning punched Rainbow’s arm. “Spoken like a true wimp.”

Rainbow laughed and pushed Lightning back. “Nothing wimpy about caring about your sister, you jerk.”

“Yeah yeah.” Lightning swatted away Rainbow’s arms. “Glad she’s making it to shows again.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow’s smile fell a bit. She was still worried about that. Fluttershy had definitely overdone it on Rainbow’s birthday a couple days before, but in the two shows they’d done since, Fluttershy had shown up and kept her drinking responsible. “So like, this is gonna sound weird, but I think Lemon Zest is keeping her in check somehow.”

“Why is that weird?” Lightning asked. “It’s pretty obvious something’s going on between them.”

“What?” Rainbow arched an eyebrow. “Pretty sure I’d know if they were dating.”

“I’m not saying they’re dating or whatever, just you know, something.” Lightning craned her neck to see Lemon Zest and Fluttershy a few rows in front of them. She and Rainbow could only see the back of their heads, but it looked like Fluttershy was laughing.

“I don’t know.” Rainbow shrugged. “I mean, yeah, they’ve always been weirdly close, you know. But that’s just how the two of them are. Besides, does Lemon Zest even like girls?”

“She fooled around with Indigo that one time,” Lightning said.

Rainbow had forgotten about that. It had only come up once back when they were talking about random hookups they’d each had, and Lemon Zest had admitted to making out with Indigo Zap. Obviously, Lightning Dust had more reason to remember that than Rainbow did.

“So what are you thinking?” Rainbow asked, suddenly taking a lot more interest in how much time Fluttershy and Lemon Zest had spent together over the past few days.

“I’m pretty sure I saw Zest going into Fluttershy’s room last night.” Lightning smirked. “And I didn’t see her come back out.”

“Oh damn. They’re sleeping together?”

Lightning shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I’m stalking her room, you know? Maybe Zest left and I just didn’t see. But you know, it could mean something.”

“They’ve been… cuddly on the tour bus.” That didn’t actually mean as much as it would have for anyone else. Fluttershy and Lemon Zest just did things like that together, even when Fluttershy was with Sonata. Still, at what point did all the little things start to add up?

“The question is, are you going to do anything about this?” Lightning asked.

Rainbow frowned. “Bad things happen when I get involved in Shy’s love life.”

“Yeah, but think about it.” Lightning leaned in. “Shy’s her manager. She’s like, her boss basically, right? She might be hiding this from us because she thinks we’re gonna have a problem with it.”

“That’s dumb,” Rainbow said. “Shy isn’t _really_ our boss. And they’ve been friends for years, you know? It’s no big deal.”

“I’m not saying it is, I’m saying Shy might feel like it is.” Lightning inclined her head towards Fluttershy. “Just talk to her about it. Tell her it’s cool. Bad things happen when you got in the _way_ of Fluttershy’s love life. You could just tell her you support her, you know.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Rainbow watched the back of Fluttershy’s and Lemon Zest’s heads, wishing she knew what they were talking about.

She decided it didn’t really matter. Lightning Dust was right, Rainbow just had to talk to Fluttershy about it. Hell, maybe she could even convince her to pursue a relationship if they weren’t already doing that. Fluttershy could certainly use something to be happy about.

“Attention passengers, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We’ll be beginning our descent into Everton International Airport momentarily.”

“Finally,” Lightning Dust said with a sigh of relief. “Can’t wait to stretch my legs.”

Rainbow muttered her agreement, but she wasn’t really thinking of that. All she could think about was Fluttershy and Lemon Zest, and hoping that whatever was going on with them, it would be good for Fluttershy.

She was spared from her thoughts when the plane actually started its descent. She loved watching the ground growing closer, and especially loved the touchdown. The whole airplane shook and roared, which may have made others uncomfortable, but which Rainbow thought was one of the coolest parts of the flight.

Then came one of the most boring parts of the flight – waiting for unloading. People stood and collected their things from the overhead bins, then waited around until they could actually leave. Lightning Dust jumped at the chance to stand up and collect her things, but Rainbow didn’t bother. No point until they could actually move.

Rainbow passed the time by checking her messages. She had a text from Pinkie sent fifteen minutes earlier, which said she was at the airport. Rainbow replied that they just landed and would be out as soon as they could.

After a few more minutes, they finally started moving. Rainbow got up and collected her bag and then followed Lightning Dust off the plane. Once they were in the terminal, they stopped and waited for everyone else. Between both bands and Fluttershy, they made for a large group – nine people in total.

“God, I hate airplanes,” Lemon Zest said once they were all together.

Fluttershy giggled. “She wouldn’t let go of my hand the whole time.”

“Shy…” Lemon Zest blushed.

Everyone laughed, but Rainbow just smiled. Fluttershy sounded happy about that, and that was all Rainbow wanted for her.

Once they were all gathered together, they made their way through the airport. At least they didn’t have to go to the baggage claim. Since they were all returning home and only for a week at that, all of them opted to save some money by travelling with only carry-on bags.

As soon as they were past the security checkpoint, Rainbow and Fluttershy were ambushed into a hug from Pinkie Pie, one of her arms around each of the others. “Dashie! Shy!”

“Hello, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Rainbow patted Pinkie on the back. “Hey, Pinks.”

Pinkie pulled away but kept her arms on each of them. She had tears in her eyes. “I’ve missed you both so much!”

This was the typical meeting with Pinkie, and usually it took a lot to get her past it. This time, however, Rainbow noticed something else that she thought might do the trick. “Pretty sure Gilda’s about to make a move on your sister.”

Pinkie wheeled around in time to see Gilda walking up to Limestone. It was hard to hear them, but it seemed like they both only exchanged simple one-word greetings and blushed. Neither of them would look at the other.

“Look how in love they are!” Pinkie said. She was practically vibrating with happiness at the sight of two awkward dorks.

After a moment, Gilda sighed and gave an awkward one-armed hug to the much shorter Limestone, who blushed even harder and did her best to look like she wasn’t enjoying herself. Then they stepped apart again, looked away from each other, and Pinkie squealed happily.

Meanwhile, other members of their group splintered off to meet with their various friends and family. Lightning Dust was talking with her sister and a woman that Rainbow assumed was their mom, Windfall was hugging his mom and dad in turn, and Short Fuse and Rolling Thunder were both meeting up with different groups of people that Rainbow didn’t recognize.

They said their goodbyes to their friends that were going separate ways, then Pinkie led the remaining group to her minivan. It was a large group, all things considered.

For her part, Rainbow _was_ meeting with her parents for dinner, but frankly, she wanted to spend time with her friends more. Fluttershy, meanwhile, didn’t have anyone else to visit besides her friends. And Gilda was only staying with them long enough for Pinkie to drop her and Limestone off at Gilda’s parents’ house.

The others were a bit unexpected, though. Lemon Zest and Flash both had family they could be seeing first, but they had both decided to spend the afternoon at Sweet Apple Acres.

Although now that she was seeing things in a new light, Rainbow thought she might understand why Lemon Zest had decided to go with Fluttershy. Just another little thing.

“I guess someone else can have the front seat,” Limestone said irritably once they reached the minivan.

“Aww, do you want to sit next to your girlfriend?” Pinkie asked.

“No!” Limestone said quickly. “I’m just being nice! Geez, Pinkie, don’t be weird about it!”

“I call shotgun!” Rainbow said, figuring Fluttershy and Lemon Zest might also want to sit next to each other. She climbed into the front seat while Gilda and Limestone sat in the middle. That left Flash, Lemon Zest, and Fluttershy to file into the back.

“First stop, Gilda’s house!” Pinkie announced as she started the engine. She shifted into reverse and pulled out of the parking spot, then started driving. “So how was the flight?”

“It was fine,” Rainbow said. She glanced into the rearview mirror to see what Fluttershy and Lemon Zest were up to, but they didn’t seem to be doing much of anything. Of course, they were sitting next to Flash, so it wasn’t like they were going to do much.

She did get to see Gilda being oblivious to the fact that Limestone left her hand in between them, ripe for Gilda to hold it. She even nudged Gilda with it once, but Gilda was either completely unwilling to hold her girlfriend’s hand around her friends or she somehow didn’t notice. Rainbow just snickered to herself.

Most of the conversation was the usual post-flight talk about how the flight was and how good it was to be back home. They talked a little about plans, and Flash revealed that he and his dad were heading out in the morning for some sort of antique car show that would take up most of the day, which was why he was going with the others. Lemon Zest just said she was seeing her grandparents that evening and left it at that.

Gilda gave Pinkie directions to her parents’ apartment, which was a decent drive away from the airport. The houses grew shabbier as they got close to it.

“As weird as it sounds, I’m gonna miss this hell hole,” Gilda said. “I mean, it’s pretty shitty, but it’s been home for so long, you know?”

“I know what you mean,” Fluttershy said.

“Oh yeah, you used to live around here,” Flash said.

“I did. It was the first place I ever really felt at home.” Fluttershy placed her hand against the window. “The first place I ever really felt safe.”

Rainbow frowned. She didn’t like to dwell on those days, but she supposed it was good that Fluttershy was able to think about them more fondly. It had been a complicated time for her, to say the least.

“Yeah, well, onto bigger and better things.” Gilda grinned. “I’m finally making enough money to help my parents move out of here. We’re gonna look for a new place for them this week.”

“A house with a yard?” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“Hell yeah,” Gilda agreed.

She led Pinkie to an old rundown apartment building. Pinkie pulled into a parking spot, then Gilda and Limestone got out. “Thanks for the ride,” Gilda said on the way out.

“Have fun, you two!” Pinkie said as she waved them off. They both blushed and turned to head into the building.

Flash took the chance to move into the middle seat, while Lemon Zest and Fluttershy stayed in the back. Rainbow tried to keep an eye on the two of them without being obvious, but she didn’t notice them doing anything other than Lemon Zest scooting so she wasn’t in the smaller middle seat.

“And now, on to the party!” Pinkie drove out of the parking lot and towards Sweet Apple Acres.

“So, Pinkie,” Flash said as they drove, “how have you been since CHS?”

“I’m good!” Pinkie said. “I’m a manager at Sugarcube Corner now.”

“Oh really? That’s perfect for you.”

Pinkie had worked part-time at Sugarcube Corner back in high school, which soon became full-time afterwards. They didn’t have many managers at the small sweet shop, but she managed a promotion shortly after Bitchette started touring.

Rainbow smirked. “Yeah, Pinkie gave up the rock and roll life for a respectable nine-to-five gig.”

“Uhm,” Fluttershy started to say something, then stopped. Rainbow turned to face her, but only saw that she was doing something on her phone.

A moment later, Rainbow got a text message. She checked it to see it was from Fluttershy. ‘Do you think we should ask Pinkie to drum on the album?’

Rainbow smiled and put away her phone. “You still play the drums at all, Pinks?”

“Here and there,” Pinkie said. “I still keep my drum kit set up in my room for whenever the mood strikes me.”

“Me and Fluttershy are working on an album together.” Rainbow turned to see Fluttershy, who was smiling. She turned back to Pinkie. “We were thinking, you know, neither of us play drums. Do you think maybe you would want to record with us? It’s just an album, not something we’re gonna be touring with.”

Before she could say anything, Lemon Zest spoke up. “What? Dude! They won’t even let _me_ hear those songs.”

“They’re, uhm, not ready yet…” Fluttershy said. It wasn’t really like them to be so secretive about the stuff they were doing, but Rainbow understood why. The lyrics Fluttershy had been writing were really personal and direct, more so than any of the stuff she wrote with Bitchette.

“I’d love to!” Pinkie said. “If Lemon Zest is okay with that.”

“Oh yeah, I didn’t mean it like that.” Lemon Zest put her arm around Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I just really wanna hear this new stuff they’ve been doing.”

“Uhm, maybe I could play some of it for you then.” Fluttershy blushed a little. “If Dash doesn’t mind.”

Rainbow shrugged. “It’s cool with me.”

What did it mean that Fluttershy offered to play some of their new songs for Lemon Zest? Was it just because she asked, or was there more to it? Then again, Fluttershy could have asked Lemon Zest to drum on the album, but she chose Pinkie…

Whatever. Rainbow would figure out what it all meant when she got the chance to talk to Fluttershy about it. Until then, it was just little things that may or may not add up to something else.

“I didn’t know you two were working on something together,” Flash said. “If you need any help, I’d be happy to lend you a hand.”

Fluttershy seemed less open to sharing it with Flash than with Pinkie or Lemon Zest. “It’s, uhm. Sort of a personal project.”

Rainbow smirked. “You know Shy could be like a one-woman band on her own, right?”

“Really? I knew you played guitar a little, and I know you sing of course.”

“Well, I don’t play drums…” Fluttershy said. “And I like writing music with Rainbow more than doing it on my own.”

“I haven’t heard you sing in, like, forever,” Lemon Zest said. “God, if I had your voice, I would never _stop_ singing.”

Fluttershy smiled a little, but she didn’t reply. Rainbow decided to pull some of the focus off of her, figuring it might be a little much for the reserved woman. “Yeah, well, she’s not me, but you know. She does alright.”

It didn’t seem to work, since Fluttershy herself seemed determined to put herself back in the conversation. “Your voice is nice,” she said to Lemon Zest. “I like listening to you sing.”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “I mean, I guess I’m okay. But not like you, Shy.”

“Your voice is _super_ pretty, Shy,” Pinkie added.

“You always sang harmony with The Rainbooms,” Flash pointed out. “I don’t know if I ever heard you sing lead.”

“Come on, give us a show!” Lemon Zest said.

Fluttershy blushed. “Uhm… maybe another time.”

“We could never convince Fluttershy to sing more than a line or two lead,” Pinkie explained. It was true. Even after Rainbow had stopped trying to dominate the band as the only lead singer, Fluttershy only ever sang backing vocals, or in the group vocal songs.

“Feels like forever ago that we were playing in the Rainbooms,” Rainbow said wistfully. “Those were good days.”

“I liked being in the Rainbooms,” Fluttershy agreed.

“Of course!” Pinkie said. “We had _so_ much fun back then!”

They passed the time by talking about their high school bands. Lemon Zest had never been in a band before Bitchette, but the others all had.

That conversation took them the rest of the way to Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie pulled up as Flash was giving an a cappella rendition of one of his old songs. It was definitely a little obvious that the lyrics were written by a teenager, but he sang it well.

He wrapped it up as Pinkie turned off the van. “Hey, you’re pretty good!”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” Flash said.

“Yeah, you and Lightning could sing together sometime,” Rainbow said as she undid her seatbelt. “Maybe after the tour is over, you could take over my vocals if we don’t start another tour together.”

Flash opened his door and got out, then turned to Rainbow with a grin. “Lead guitar and lead vocals? Not all of us are that egotistical you know.”

Rainbow got out of the van and shoved him playfully. “Yeah yeah.”

“Well, I think it’d sound nice,” Fluttershy said as she and Lemon Zest got out as well.

“Well look who it is!” Applejack called from the porch, putting an end to the duet conversation.

“Hey, AJ!” Rainbow called back. They each walked over to each other, meeting halfway. Applejack held out her arms, so she and Rainbow hugged each other roughly. “Good to see you.”

“Same to you.” Applejack pulled away and smiled. “Not often we get a big rockstar to grace our humble orchard.”

“Aww, come on, AJ.” Rainbow smiled and scratched the back of her head.

“Hello, Applejack,” Fluttershy said as she walked up to their friend. The two of them hugged as well, then Pinkie popped up to hug both of them at the same time. Rainbow took a few steps away for safety.

“Figured y’all might be a bit hungry after the flight, so I thought we could break out the grill.” Applejack gestured for the others to follow her and made the way to the back. “Stocked up on hotdogs, hamburgers, and veggie burgers.”

Fluttershy smiled at the last option. “Thank you.”

“Great, I’m starving,” Lemon Zest said.

“We kinda skipped breakfast to make the flight on time,” Flash added.

Applejack nodded and led them to the grill. “One of you wanna get this going while I get y’all some snacks to hold you over?”

“I can work the grill,” Flash said.

“I’ll help!” Pinkie said.

Fluttershy followed Applejack to the house. “I’ll help you get the snacks.”

Pinkie and Flash worked on getting the grill set up, which gave Rainbow an unexpected chance to talk to Lemon Zest. “So, uh… how’s Shy been doing?”

“She seems pretty good,” Lemon Zest said with a smile. “These past few days have been kinda nice, actually.”

“Cool.” Rainbow glanced around, but Flash and Pinkie were both busy stacking charcoal in the grill. “So… you think things are gonna continue between you two like this?”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “I guess. Why?”

“I just, you know. I want you two to be happy.” Rainbow smiled. “I’m just glad it’s working out.”

Lemon Zest smiled as well. “Thanks, Dash.”

Applejack and Fluttershy were quick to return with chips, dip, and sodas in hand, which the hungry musicians all gathered around. Pinkie and Flash managed to get the grill going as Applejack went back inside to get the rest of the food to cook.

They exchanged jokes and caught up with one another and how everyone was doing. Being the newbie to touring, Flash had the most to say about it. Conversation came easily to the group and everyone had plenty to eat.

After lunch, they went into the basement to continue hanging out without being in the hot summer sun. They made plans for what they’d do during the week, with Applejack deciding to take the majority of it off from work to spend time with her friends.

All in all, it was a great day. Nothing too special, just friends hanging out and having a good time. But then, it was the little things that were supposed to make life worth living.

And best of all, Fluttershy seemed to really enjoy herself. It was the happiest Rainbow had seen her since Sonata ditched them.

The only downside was that there wasn’t a lot of time. If Rainbow had her way, they’d be hanging out late into the night, but she and Lemon Zest both had family to see. Still, they kept finding reason to put it off.

“So uhm,” Fluttershy asked towards the end of the day, “how are things in Equestria?”

Rainbow bit her tongue as she always did when Equestria came up. She wished Fluttershy would just leave it alone; nothing good ever came from talking about that.

Applejack also looked uncomfortable, adjusting her hat as she often did when nervous. “Well, there’s actually some news…”

“Oh?” Fluttershy put on a smile that Rainbow suspected was forced. “Good news, I hope.”

“It’s great news,” Pinkie said, but she looked to Applejack uncertainly.

Applejack took a deep breath. “It is, but… I don’t know if it’s something you wanna hear.”

“Applejack, whatever it is, you can tell me.” Fluttershy rolled her eyes, and even Rainbow almost believed her. “I’m not still hung up on Sunset. That was three years ago.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Applejack kept her eyes fixed on Fluttershy’s. “She’s engaged. She’s gonna be gettin’ married to her world’s Twilight and Fluttershy.”

Rainbow’s mouth fell open and all she could do was stare at Fluttershy.

“Oh. I see.” Fluttershy somehow smiled. “How nice. I didn’t realize that three ponies could get married over there.”

“I don’t think it’s a legal marriage,” Applejack said. “They’re doin’ the ceremony and everything, but I don’t think they’ll be married like Twilight and Fluttershy are.”

“But they’re all super excited about it,” Pinkie said. She sounded excited as well, although she didn’t quite manage her usual pep, and she kept her eyes fixed on Fluttershy.

Fluttershy nodded. “Well, what really matters is that they will be to them.” She shifted her smile into a grin. “And I guess we all know who the maid of honor is gonna be.”

Applejack smirked and shifted her weight. “Yeah, that’d be me.”

“Do they have a date yet?”

“They do, but I don’t remember what it is offhand. A good few months away.”

“November sixteenth,” Pinkie said.

Applejack smiled at Pinkie. “Well, there ya have it.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I’m really happy for them.”

Rainbow could hardly believe how calm Fluttershy was doing when all she wanted to do was scream. How could Applejack tell Fluttershy about something like that?

“Wow, it’s so hard to imagine her settling down,” Flash said. He wasn’t smiling at least, although that could have just been out of shock.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said gruffly. “Imagine that.”

“I think it makes sense,” Pinkie said. “They all love each other so much. They’re going to be really happy together.”

Rainbow didn’t usually get angry with Pinkie, but this was proving to be an exception. She couldn’t keep all of the bile from her voice when she said, “I’m sure they will be.”

“Ya know…” Applejack’s tone grew uncertain, and Rainbow wished she would just shut up and not say whatever she was about to say. “She’d probably really like it if y’all showed up.”

“Uh, I think we’ll pass,” Rainbow said.

Fluttershy nodded. “Dash is right. We haven’t talked in years, and it could just make things awkward.”

Applejack looked like she was going to press it, but mercifully she didn’t. “Yeah, alright. I just had to offer.”

“And we appreciate it,” Fluttershy said, although Rainbow doubted that was true for either of them.

“You okay, Flash?” Lemon Zest asked.

Flash shook his head and smiled. “Yeah, it’s just… so wild to imagine how Sunset’s life has gone. Really happy for her though.”

“You know, she asked about you not that long ago,” Applejack said. “I’ll have to tell her ya stopped by.”

“Yeah, say hi for me.”

Although Rainbow had wanted this day to continue just minutes ago, now she desperately wanted it to end. “We should probably get heading out. Got dinner with my parents tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Lemon Zest said. “Looking forward to seeing my grandparents too.”

“Alright,” Applejack said. “Well, it was nice seeing you all. And we’ll have a blast this week when we get together.”

“Of course,” Fluttershy said.

They made their way out of the basement, back into the summer heat. Fluttershy took a step away from the others. “Uhm…”

Rainbow knew exactly what she was thinking. “Need a minute?”

Fluttershy nodded.

“Want some company?” Lemon Zest asked.

Fluttershy surprised Rainbow by smiling and saying, “Sure, that sounds nice.”

The two of them walked off in the direction of Sky’s grave. Rainbow was pretty sure that Lemon Zest didn’t know where they were going, or else she probably wouldn’t have asked about joining.

“Actually, can I talk to you for a minute?” Flash asked Rainbow. “Er, in private?”

Rainbow had to pry her eyes off of Fluttershy, but it was for the best. This was extremely personal to her, and she needed this time free of Rainbow nosing into her business. “Yeah, sure.”

She followed Flash away from the others and watched as he shifted in place nervously. “You pissed about Sunset as I am?”

“Hmm?” Oh, it’s not that.” Flash took a deep breath. “I was actually thinking – wait, why are you pissed about Sunset?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Because she just ditched Shy then goes off to get married to another version of her instead. Tell me that’s not messed up!”

Flash frowned. “I guess you have a point. I try not to think about it. The whole other dimension thing still throws me for a loop.”

Rainbow kicked at the ground. “Yeah, that’s pretty out there. Anyway, what was on your mind?”

“Well… I’m not sure if this is the best time to ask, but…” Flash swallowed. “You know, we’re in town for a while, and I was thinking it might be cool if we kinda… went out and did something together?”

“Did something?” Rainbow grinned. “Hold on, are you trying to ask me out?”

“Uhm. Maybe? Is it working?”

Rainbow laughed and punched his arm. “Geez, you’ve _got_ to work on your pickup game.”

“Is… that a no?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but while she did, she thought about his proposal. That was about all the time she needed before she said, “Sure, why not? We can go on a date.”

“Really?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Don’t make a big deal of it. But yeah. You’re a pretty cool guy, and we get along and stuff.”

Flash grinned. “Alright!”

“So what did you have in mind?”

“I dunno, I was thinking dinner and a movie?”

Rainbow laughed again. “God, you’re predictable. But yeah, okay. Dinner and a movie. It’ll be fun.”

“Cool.” Flash grinned, and it was easy to see the realization dawn on him that he hadn’t thought out the rest of the conversation. “So… I… guess we should go back to the others?”

“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow led the way back, and soon Fluttershy and Lemon Zest joined them. Rainbow couldn’t help but smile when she saw they were holding hands.

Truthfully, Fluttershy had crossed Rainbow’s mind when Flash asked her out. Not that she wasn’t looking forward to the date for its own merits, but a little extra reason didn’t hurt. Because if she had a date, Fluttershy couldn’t come with her. And if Fluttershy couldn’t come with her, then she’d have to spend the day doing something else. And Rainbow had a pretty good idea what she’d wind up wanting to do.

“You ready to go, Shy?” Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They followed Pinkie back to her minivan and climbed in. Rainbow debated giving up the front seat to sit next to Flash, but decided he could wait until their date for behavior like that. Besides, then Fluttershy might have wound up not sitting next to Lemon Zest, and Rainbow couldn’t have that.

Rainbow was looking forward to her date, but what she was looking forward to even more was the chance to talk to Fluttershy one on one and exchange the details about what was going on in their respective love lives. It felt like something was finally looking up again.

Because in the end, if Fluttershy was happy, that was all that really mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I started shipping FlashDash because someone who hates Flash once told me only homophobes ship Rainbow with a guy. Yay, spite ships!


	19. Two Dates

#### Chapter Nineteen

## Two Dates

Between the two of them, Fluttershy always seemed to be the one who was more excited about Rainbow’s dates. This time proved to be no exception, although she had learned to not make a big deal about it. That was something Rainbow always hated – people making a big deal about her going on dates.

So she just sat on Rainbow’s bed as Rainbow put on mascara. “Are you nervous at all?”

“Nah, it’s just Flash.” Rainbow finished one eye and moved onto the other. “What’s there to be nervous about?”

Well, maybe the fact that he was a friend and if it went poorly then things were going to get incredibly awkward. But Fluttershy didn’t want to put that thought into Rainbow’s head if it wasn’t already there, so instead she just said, “I don’t know, I think I’d be nervous.”

“Shy, you’re nervous when you have to answer the door.”

Fluttershy would have thrown a pillow at Rainbow if it wouldn’t have messed up her makeup. “I’m not as bad as I used to be.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Rainbow finished with the mascara and put it away. She smiled and turned to face Fluttershy. “How do I look?”

Although she normally dressed casually, Rainbow did like to get dressed up for special occasions. She was wearing a black dress with a short skirt, a red jacket, and a pair of boots she had dug out of her closet. She hadn’t bothered to style her hair at all, but she’d put on mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick.

Fluttershy smiled. “You look great. Flash is gonna love it.”

Rainbow walked over to the bed and sat beside Fluttershy. “Twenty bucks says he shows up in a fucking tux.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Give him more credit than that. You agreed on a casual date.”

“Yeah, but he’s Flash. He’s like, into cheesy stuff like that. Bet he shows up with flowers too.”

“Flowers are nice.”

“The hell am I gonna do with flowers if he brings them?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “There’s a vase in the kitchen. Anyway, I’m sure he won’t make a big deal of it.”

“I hope not.” Rainbow didn’t have a purse of her own, so she was borrowing Fluttershy’s. She pulled her phone out of it and checked the time. “Still got like half an hour to kill. You don’t think he’ll come early do you?”

“Does it matter? You’re ready to go.”

“Yeah, I’m just worried he’ll want to meet my parents to make a good impression on them.”

“Hmm…” Fluttershy tapped her lips in thought. “You know, _that_ actually does sound like Flash.”

Rainbow groaned and fell backwards on the bed. “If he does, shoot me.”

Fluttershy laughed. “What are you worried about? Your parents would love Flash. He’s polite, he’s sociable, he’s got similar interests to you.”

“Yeah, he’s the perfect guy for their daughter, I know.” Rainbow sighed and sat up. “That’s what I’m afraid of. If they talk to Flash, they’re gonna want us to be this whole thing, you know? They’ll be asking about him all the time, and imagine if things don’t wind up working out.”

“I’m sure you’re just worrying too much,” Fluttershy said. “They’ll understand if things don’t work out.”

“Ugh, I hope so…”

Fluttershy decided to shift the conversation away from her parents a bit. “But you do you think it’ll work, right?”

Rainbow shrugged. “I guess. I mean, I’ve never really thought of Flash as anything more than a friend, but he’s a cool guy.”

“I think all he needs is a chance.”

“Well, I’m happy to give him that.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I think you two will work out well together. So… should I expect you back home tonight?”

Rainbow grinned. “Geez, Shy, it’s a first date! I’ll definitely be back home tonight.”

“Hmm, back home _alone?_ ”

Rainbow laughed. “Yes, alone!”

Fluttershy laughed as well. “Oh, like you haven’t hooked up with guys before.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t a hookup. I can do dating properly.”

“Alright, if you say so.”

“I do.” Rainbow glanced away, but she was still smiling when she looked back. “So speaking of dating… What’s going on with you and Lemon Zest?”

Fluttershy blushed and turned away, which she realized was probably not the best way to respond. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rainbow elbowed Shy lightly. “Come on, you think I haven’t seen the way you two are together? Especially since my birthday.”

Fluttershy bowed her head. She actually didn’t remember much about that day, but she woke up hungover with Lemon Zest holding her in the morning and never really found the will to question it. And since then, Lemon Zest had been even more friendly than before, enough so that Fluttershy even started going out to shows just to see her.

Which… kind of proved Rainbow was on to something. “I guess… nothing really.”

“I don’t buy it.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I mean it. We’re not dating or anything, but… I think, uhm… I guess maybe I’d like to.”

Rainbow clapped her on the back. “There you go! Now you just gotta ask her!”

Fluttershy blushed. “It’s not that easy.”

Rainbow cocked her head to the side. “Sure it is, why wouldn’t it be? She’s obviously into you.”

Fluttershy sighed. “I know it seems like that, but we’ve been this way for years. Why would it be any different now?”

Rainbow shrugged and smiled. “That’s a good question to ask her after you ask her out. Seriously though, I don’t know why it’s different now, but it obviously is.”

“So… what do I do?” Fluttershy’s blush deepened. “I’ve never _exactly_ asked someone out. Not someone I care about, anyway. Sunset and Sonata just sort of… happened.”

“Just be like, hey, I really like hanging out with you, wanna try going out on a date?”

“You make it sound so easy…”

Rainbow shrugged. “Because it is, Shy. You can totally do this. You’re not the same shy girl you used to be, you’re a kickass band manager now. You got this.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Thanks, Dash.”

“And what better time than today? I’ll be out all day anyway, and I don’t think you want to hang out around here by yourself.”

“I was going to call Pinkie.”

“We hung out with Pinkie and AJ all day yesterday, and we’re going to the beach with them tomorrow.” Rainbow’s face lit up. “Hey, you can invite Zest there and make it a beach date!”

Fluttershy smiled. “That sounds kind of nice. Does that mean you’re inviting Flash?”

“Sure, if today goes well. We can make it a double date. Plus, you know, Pinkie and AJ.”

Fluttershy laughed. It sounded like it would be fun. She didn’t mind that her friends would be there on her first date – if anything, a day with _all_ the people she cared about would be even better.

There was a knock on the door, and Rainbow’s mom popped her head in. “Rainbow, your date is here.”

Rainbow stood up. “Thanks, Mom.”

Firefly smiled at her daughter. “He seems nice.”

Rainbow cast a desperate look to Fluttershy, who could only giggle. Rainbow sighed and shook her head, which seemed to confuse her mom, although she didn’t comment.

Rainbow turned to Fluttershy before leaving. “Text me if you need me, but really, just ask her. Everything will work out.”

“Alright. Have fun, Dashie.”

The two of them walked out of the room together, then Rainbow waved Fluttershy off and walked downstairs. Fluttershy instead walked into the guest room which was hers when she was in town, closing the door behind her.

First things first, if she was going to ask Lemon Zest out on a date, she was going to look her best. She had taken to dressing more punk while on tour, but her clothes that she’d left here were more in her old style.

Rather than be bummed out about it though, she looked forward to the style change. She could try her best to look pretty for Lemon Zest, for a change. She dug out a long blue skirt and paired it with a white tank top. It showed off her tattoos, which she didn’t always like to do, but she liked the outfit too much to want to change it. She clipped a butterfly clip into her short hair and smiled at herself in the mirror, happy with her outfit choice.

Next she moved onto her makeup. She didn’t bother to wear it much on tour, but she was still quite skilled with it. Besides, even Rainbow put on a bit before a date. So she put on a full round of makeup, starting with foundation and working her way through her whole kit from there. By the time she was finished, she was almost happy with how she looked.

It was as good as she was getting in any event, so Fluttershy pulled out her phone and dialed Lemon Zest. It rang twice, and then Lemon Zest answered. “Hey, Shy.”

“Hi, Zest,” Fluttershy said as her lips curled into a smile. God, all it took was to hear Lemon Zest saying her name to get her to smile. “I was wondering, uhm…”

Suddenly the words Rainbow had said seemed much harder to say. Fluttershy tried to get them out, but they clung to her throat and refused to leave.

“What’s up?”

To hell with it, just get together with her first. “Do you maybe wanna hang out today? Rainbow has a date.”

“She does? Oh man, why didn’t anyone tell me! I didn’t even get to tease her about it or anything!”

Fluttershy giggled. “You’ll get plenty of chances later. It’s, uhm, with Flash.”

“Oh ho ho! Love on the tour, eh?” Lemon Zest sighed wistfully. “Love songs between two bands, so romantic.”

Fluttershy giggled again, happy to just hear the way Lemon Zest talked about Rainbow. But still, it would be better to get back on track. “So, uhm, what do you say? About going, uhm, out with me today?”

“Yeah, sure! Sounds good to me!”

Oh God, did that count? Fluttershy said ‘going out with me’ and Lemon Zest said yes. But how did she take it? Fluttershy realized that even she had no idea what they were to each other when it came down to it.

“Great. Want me to head over to your house, or do you want to meet up somewhere?”

“I’m helping my grandparents with their internet connection right now, but if you wanna come over here that’s cool. Or if you wanna wait, we can meet up somewhere once I’m done.”

Fluttershy glanced in the mirror. She was already dressed and ready to head out, so she might as well. “I don’t mind waiting at your place while you do that. I, uhm, feel a little weird being at Rainbow’s house without her.”

Lemon Zest chuckled. “Yeah, sounds good. Come on over whenever, we can figure things out from there.”

“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Cool, see you then.”

Fluttershy hung up the phone and used it to order a cab from a ride-sharing app. Once that was done, she went to put it in her purse before realizing she leant it to Rainbow. She also didn’t have pockets, so she wound up grabbing a denim jacket that did.

She left the room and went downstairs, where she ran into Firefly again. The older woman smiled at her. “Hey, Fluttershy. You look like you’re getting ready for a date too.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Is it that obvious?”

“The makeup’s a bit of a giveaway. Heading out now?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I’ll probably be back tonight.”

“Well, have fun.”

It was only a small interaction, but it left Fluttershy smiling. Rainbow always felt awkward around her parents, who weren’t around much when she was growing up, but Fluttershy enjoyed exchanging pleasantries with them.

There was a difference between exchanging pleasantries and actually talking to them, of course. Fluttershy didn’t know what to say beyond that, so she just said a quick goodbye and walked outside. She could wait for the cab on the porch and not have to worry about making conversation with someone she didn’t know as well as she really should.

It was a warm day, but not bad for late July. Her jacket was a little too warm, but she figured they could just plan to do something inside. Frankly she didn’t care if they didn’t leave Lemon Zest’s house at all, what mattered was just spending time together and figuring out where they were going to go from there.

She wasn’t waiting too long before the cab arrived. From there, it was a fairly short ride to get to Lemon Zest’s house. She didn’t quite live in the same suburbs as Rainbow did, but her neighborhood was nearby.

Lemon Zest lived in an upscale neighborhood mostly inhabited by older people who had retired to the area and families where both parents had high salary jobs. The houses were big, and so were the lawns. Everything looked immaculate because it was the kind of place where people paid for lawn maintenance.

The cab reached her house and Fluttershy thanked the driver before getting out. She walked up to the driveway and knocked on the door. A few moments later, Lemon Zest opened it. “Hey, Shy. Wow, you look nice.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Thank you.” She couldn’t really return the compliment exactly; it wasn’t that Lemon Zest looked bad, but she was wearing pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt, so the compliment would come out a little awkward.

She stepped aside to let Fluttershy in and then closed the door after them. “I just finished fixing the internet, so if you give me a minute to get dressed we can head out.”

“Who was at the door?” an older lady asked.

“Fluttershy, Grandma,” Lemon Zest answered.

An older woman with yellow skin and green hair walked into the room. “Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” Fluttershy said.

“You and Fluttershy met once before,” Lemon Zest explained. “She stayed the night before we started touring.”

Lemon Zest’s grandma didn’t seem to recall Fluttershy, so she smiled. “It was a long time ago, and it was only the one time.”

“Yeah.” Lemon Zest walked over to the door that led to the basement, where her room was. “Anyway, I’m gonna get dressed then Fluttershy and I are gonna head out.”

“Alright, Zesty.” As Lemon Zest left the room, her grandma turned instead to Fluttershy. “Can I get you something to drink… Fluttershy, was it?”

“Yes, and that’d be lovely,” Fluttershy said.

The older woman went into the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of something, then she pulled out a cup. She filled it with a yellowish liquid, and then handed it to Fluttershy. Unsurprisingly, it turned out to be lemonade.

“Are you one of Zesty’s friends from her music group?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Fluttershy said as she sipped her lemonade. “I’m their manager.”

The older woman smiled. “Ah, so you’re the one taking care of my Zesty. She told me you always make sure they don’t have anything to worry about.”

Fluttershy smiled, happy that she had come up in conversation. “I do what I can.”

“We worry about our Zesty out there without any of her family. It’s nice to know she has a nice girl like you looking out for her.”

Fluttershy wondered what she’d say if she knew there may soon be something romantic between the two girls. Fluttershy was always worried about coming out to older people, but Lemon Zest was close with her grandparents so there was no way around it. At least her grandma seemed nice enough.

Lemon Zest wasn’t too long in coming back up. She hadn’t dressed up like Fluttershy had, but Fluttershy didn’t mind. She was wearing ripped jeans and a T-shirt with an unbuttoned long-sleeve plaid shirt.

“You’re going out like that when your friend looks so nice?” her grandma asked.

Lemon Zest smiled and shook her head. “Grandma, Fluttershy doesn’t care what I’m dressed like.”

“I think she looks nice.”

The older woman walked over to Fluttershy and placed a hand on her shoulder. “See if you can get her to wear something nice once in a while.”

Fluttershy giggled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

They said goodbye to Lemon Zest’s grandma, then walked back outside. “So where are we headed?” Lemon Zest asked.

“I don’t know. Is there anything you want to do.”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “We could just hit up downtown, see if any of the shops catch our interest.”

“Sounds good.” Fluttershy nodded and ordered another cab for them. They made light conversation while they waited, about how it was a nice day out and how Lemon Zest’s grandma was nice.

The whole time, Fluttershy wondered how to say what was on her mind. She wasn’t even sure when was a good time to bring it up. Now, so that they could factor it into their day? Later, after she had some time to feel out how things were going for them?

As she waited, the cab arrived. She wasn’t going to ask there, so she might as well put it out of her mind.

* * *

No trip downtown on a hot summer day would be complete without a stop by the ice cream shop. Fluttershy and Lemon Zest got a large hot fudge sundae to split between them, then decided to eat it inside to get away from the heat.

Fluttershy took a bite of the sundae, smiling at the sweet taste. “I had a lot of fun today. Thanks for coming out with me.”

Lemon Zest nudged Fluttershy. She had opted to sit next to the other girl instead of across from her, so they were pressed side to side. “You say that like I didn’t. I’m just as happy about today as you are.”

Fluttershy just took another bite of the ice cream. It had been a good day. They each had a bag of purchases from the various shops, and even if walking around downtown had been hot, they’d managed to stay inside most of the time.

More to the point, there were all the little things. Like Lemon Zest holding Fluttershy’s hand, complimenting her as she tried on clothes, and the way she was always just so close to Fluttershy. She’d still had some doubts even after she suggested hanging out together, but now she was sure: She was going to ask Lemon Zest out on a date by the end of the night.

All that was left to do was to figure out when. She didn’t want to do it in the ice cream shop, so she just enjoyed being next to Lemon Zest while they ate the sweet treat.

“Hey, Shy?” Lemon Zest said after taking a bite.

“Yeah?”

Lemon Zest swiped her finger across the whipped cream and poked Fluttershy’s nose with it. “Boop!”

Fluttershy giggled. “Hey!”

Lemon Zest just grinned while Fluttershy wiped off her nose. Fluttershy shook her head and put an arm around Lemon Zest’s shoulders.

 _‘She’s so much like Sonata_ _sometime_ _s,’_ Fluttershy thought, then felt guilty for the comparison. Lemon Zest didn’t deserve that. Not after Sonata had gone and abandoned Fluttershy while Lemon Zest had always been there for her.

Unaware of her thoughts, Lemon Zest scooped up another bite of ice cream and fed it to Fluttershy before getting a spoonful for herself. That chased away the bad thoughts, and Fluttershy found herself leaning her head against Lemon Zest’s shoulder.

“Why are you so good to me?” Fluttershy asked.

“Uh, ‘cause we’re friends?” Lemon Zest pulled away a little bit, so Fluttershy lifted her head. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

“I don’t know.” Fluttershy looked down at the ice cream and decided to use it to stall for time. What she really meant was if there was another reason other than just being friends, but what wound up coming out was, “It’s not like I’m anything special. Except maybe as a manager, I’m pretty good at that.”

“It’s definitely not because you’re our manager. It’s just like I said. You’re my friend. I like spending time with you, and… I don’t know.” Lemon Zest chuckled. “I’m not great at this sentimental thing, you know?”

“Sorry.” Fluttershy smiled. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”

“No worries.” Lemon Zest had another spoonful of ice cream. “But if you want any of this, you better get in on it. I’m ready to devour this thing over here.”

Fluttershy giggled and went back to savoring the moment as she ate more of their sundae. They managed to make it through the rest of the dessert without any more awkward questions from Fluttershy.

Once they finished, they left the shop and Fluttershy immediately reached for Lemon Zest’s hand. The other girl took the offer, intertwining their fingers together. Fluttershy smiled to herself as they walked.

“So what next?” Lemon Zest asked. “It’s getting pretty late, want to wrap things up?”

“Hmm… Not just yet.” Fluttershy wanted to find the way to talk about the two of them before they went their separate ways. Even if she went back to Lemon Zest’s house, they would have her grandparents around to make talking difficult.

Which brought the question of what to do back to mind. Fluttershy looked up at the sun, which would be setting soon. That gave her an idea. “We could walk out to the pier and watch the sun set over the water.”

“Good idea.” Lemon Zest shifted direction and led them to the pier.

“So what are your plans for tomorrow?” Fluttershy asked as they walked.

Lemon Zest grinned. “What, can’t get enough of me now?”

Fluttershy was tempted to ask if it would be such a bad thing if she said yes, but she wasn’t ready to be that forward – even if Lemon Zest wanted to try dating, that didn’t mean Fluttershy should insinuate that they’d spend all their time together. “We’re going to the beach tomorrow. I was thinking you might want to come.”

“That sounds like it would be a lot of fun,” Lemon Zest said. “But I made plans with my Crystal Prep friends already. Sorry.”

Fluttershy shook her head, only a little disappointed. “No need to be sorry. Go have fun with your friends. I’ll still have Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie to hang out with.”

“I’m sure it’ll be a blast.”

Fluttershy smiled. “So do you keep in touch with your Crystal Prep friends?”

Lemon Zest shrugged. “Not really. You know how bad we were at friendship back at Crystal Prep. We do try to get together at least once when I’m in town though.”

“What about Indigo Zap?” Fluttershy asked. She had a little more than casual interest in this answer. “I mean, you told us that one time you two… you know.”

Lemon Zest just laughed it off. “Yeah, and it was only that one time. I told you, it didn’t mean anything, and we’re not any closer than I am with any of my other old classmates. I’m a lot closer with Dust than her sister, honestly.”

Fluttershy nodded, pleased with that answer. “Come on, you weren’t even a little tempted to see if it meant something more to her?”

“I don’t know, not really. To tell you the truth, I never really stopped to think about what it might mean to Indigo.” Lemon Zest frowned. “I hope she was just messing around, because I can be _really_ dense sometimes.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but think that maybe Indigo did have a crush on Lemon Zest, but she didn’t want to bring her friend down. “I’m sure she would’ve said something if it meant anything to her.”

“I hope so.” Lemon Zest seemed down from the subject, and Fluttershy regretted pushing it. She had been hoping for some indication that while she never pursued things with Indigo Zap, Lemon Zest did like girls. And yet, all she’d done was bring her friend down…

Well, she was still holding Fluttershy’s hand. And she didn’t deny anything on the basis of being straight, which is probably what she would do if she _was_ straight… Maybe Fluttershy actually had all the answers she needed.

Which just left bringing Lemon Zest’s mood up as the only thing left to do. Fluttershy decided to alter the subject’s course a bit. “Well anyway, I bet you always have a lot of cool stories to tell when you see them. You’re a big rockstar now, after all.”

The subject change worked, as Lemon Zest smirked again. “I don’t know about ‘rockstar’. We’re like, moderately successful.”

“Still, you get to tour around the country and make a living playing music. That’s gotta give you something to talk about.”

“Yeah, it does. But I guess the same goes for you.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

They reached the pier and walked out over the water. It wasn’t too much, just a fairly short pier that people liked to fish off of sometimes. No one was there today, however, so they had the whole sunset to themselves.

They walked to the end, where there were some quarter operated binoculars and a bench for people to sit on. They ignored it, instead going right up to the guardrail and leaning against that.

“The sunset’s really nice,” Lemon Zest said.

“Yeah, it is.”

Lemon Zest put her arm around Fluttershy, who leaned against her. Sunsets usually reminded her too much of the past, but today, she found herself enjoying the view. Even more so, she enjoyed being with the woman she was watching it with.

She looked up at Lemon Zest and smiled. “Hey, Zesty?”

“Yeah, Shy?”

Lemon Zest turned to look at Fluttershy, and without overthinking it, Fluttershy kissed her. She smiled as she did, thinking of how perfect this moment was.

And then everything crumbled as Lemon Zest took a step back. Fluttershy’s heart dropped as Lemon Zest just looked at her with a slightly confused expression.

Lemon Zest bowed her head. “I’m… being really dense again, aren’t I?”

Fluttershy frowned and looked away from the setting sun, instead looking down at the water below them. She considered jumping in; with any luck, she might sink to the bottom and never come back up. “A little.”

“I’m sorry…” Lemon Zest sighed. “I’m… not good at seeing the line between what’s okay to do with friends and what isn’t.”

“So… everything lately has just been you thinking of us as friends? Holding hands, cuddling, sharing a bed, all of it?”

“When you say it like that, I feel really fucking stupid.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I’m the stupid one.”

“Shy…” Lemon Zest tried to put her hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder, but Fluttershy pulled away. Lemon Zest gave her a hurt expression, but she didn’t try to touch her again. “I’m… really sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on, I just thought…”

“What?” Fluttershy told herself she had no right to be angry, but it didn’t help. “What did you possibly think I would feel like after doing all that stuff?”

Lemon Zest winced. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t really think at all. I liked being so close with you, and I just… didn’t really think about it.”

“Then why not see where this goes?” Fluttershy forced a smile, hoping there was still some chance to make this work out. “I like being like that with you too, Zesty. I… I think we could work as a couple.”

“Because…” Lemon Zest squeezed her eyes shut tight. “Because I don’t want to be in a relationship. With anyone. Ever.”

Fluttershy bowed her head. “I know what that’s like. After Sunset, I didn’t want to be in a relationship either, you know? Not a real one. And then Sonata happened, and well… It really hurt, but it also made me realize how much I miss having someone that was always there for me. And… and I think we could be that, for each other. I think… I think I could make you really happy too, you know?”

Lemon Zest ran a hand through her hair. “Look, it’s not like it’s a you thing. You’re amazing, Shy. If I wanted to date someone, it would absolutely be someone like you.”

Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut. “Someone like me, but not me.”

“What, no! I didn’t…” Lemon Zest held her face in her hands and sighed. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

Fluttershy didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say. She’d ruined everything, just like she always did, and now all she could do was wait for Lemon Zest to try and make her feel better.

Lemon Zest looked out over the water, and she sounded kind of sad when she spoke. “I’ve never felt, you know, romantic with anyone. I don’t think I can.” She looked back at Fluttershy briefly, but then turned away again. “I just want friends, you know? Kissing, sex, all that romantic stuff? I’m just not interested.”

Fluttershy didn’t really understand, but it didn’t really matter. “I see…”

“So… I know everyone says this, but really, it’s not you, it’s me. And… I’m sorry.”

Fluttershy turned away. “I think we should head back.

Lemon Zest followed after Fluttershy, but she kept a little more distance between them. “So… scale of one to ten, how bad did I fuck things up.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I don’t know, Zesty… I think… I just need some time. Let’s… forget this ever happened.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Fluttershy pulled out her phone. “I’m going to get a cab.”

“Do you… want me to get my own?”

“I… think it would probably be for the best.”

“Alright.” Lemon Zest pulled out her phone as well.

The two of them found a bench to sit on and waited in silence. Fluttershy put her purchases from the day in between them to give them each some room.

At least being downtown meant the wait was short. Fluttershy’s cab arrived first, so she stood up and gathered her things. Lemon Zest stood up as well. “Shy, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Fluttershy said. “It never happened, remember?”

“Yeah. So I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Of course. We leave in four more days, after all.”

Lemon Zest sounded dejected when she spoke. “Yeah, guess we do.”

“Bye, Zesty.” Fluttershy opened the back door and got into the car, while Lemon Zest was left to sit on the bench alone.

She felt bad for leaving things where they were. She really did know she shouldn’t be mad at Lemon Zest, that she just saw relationships differently and that she had never intentionally did anything to make things hard for Fluttershy.

It didn’t really help, but Fluttershy at least knew she was wrong for being angry with her friend.

“Lovely weather we’ve been having,” the driver said.

Fluttershy frowned and didn’t look away from the window. “It is.”

“Doing a little shopping downtown, I see?”

“Yes.”

The driver seemed to write the conversation off as a loss and remained silent for the rest of the trip. That suited Fluttershy just fine. Frankly, she wasn’t interested in making conversation. All she wanted to do was get home and put this whole experience behind her.

It didn’t help that the whole way back, she could only think of the past few days with Lemon Zest. She had been so sure that Lemon Zest was just as interested as she was, but then…

No, no one would ever be interested in Fluttershy. They only wanted to be her friend, like Lemon Zest, or use her like Sonata. And if she did find someone who genuinely loved her and wanted to build a life with her? Fluttershy would just destroy it until the other person got sick of it and traded up for a better girlfriend or two.

The driver pulled up to Rainbow’s house and Fluttershy thanked her then got out of the car. She hung her head as she walked into the house. She didn’t see any sign of Rainbow’s parents, so she crept upstairs before they could notice she was home.

The first thing she did was go to the bathroom and pull out the makeup remover. She had been so stupid to get all dolled up, as if makeup could cover the fact that she was a pitiful excuse for a person.

Once her face was cleaned off, she went back to her bedroom. She took off her jacket and tossed it on the bed, then collapsed onto it with her feet dangling off. She just lay there for a minute before kicking off her shoes and crawling a little higher onto the bed.

She waited a while, but her thoughts wouldn’t move away from Lemon Zest. She decided to dig her phone out of her jacket in the hopes that it would give her a distraction.

It worked for a little while. She checked her personal social media accounts, then checked the band’s. She replied to a few fans, trying to hype them for the upcoming shows.

It stopped being a distraction before too long, though. But she didn’t have a lot to do, so she just kept on scrolling through various news feeds. She considered calling Pinkie after all, seeing if she was maybe up to going out for the night.

She didn’t, though. Some part of her knew she shouldn’t be alone, but she didn’t care. She didn’t really want to see anyone, didn’t really want to risk explaining anything about her day.

She wished she had brought her guitars. She could be working on one of the songs she was writing with Rainbow, it could even be an outlet for how she was feeling. Then she remembered Rainbow had left a guitar at her parents’ house, so she _could_ work on it if she wanted to. That killed her drive to work on music.

So she sat and she scrolled through social media on her phone, and she tried not to think about Lemon Zest and the day they’d had, and she thought of it anyway.

That was still what she was doing when Rainbow showed up. She knocked on the door and called through it, “Shy, you in there?”

“Yeah, come in,” Fluttershy called back.

Rainbow opened the door and immediately took a seat on the bed beside Fluttershy. “So that went about as well as I thought it would.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Uhm, is that good or bad?”

“It’s good. Flash is a cool guy, I figured it would be a good day.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I’m glad things are working out. So you think you’ll keep seeing him?”

“Yeah, I think so. He’s coming to the beach tomorrow.”

“Nice. So is it all official now? You two are dating?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Well, we didn’t ask each other all formally or anything, but we have tomorrow, right? I guess it’s official.”

“I’m happy for you. Knowing Flash, I’m sure he was a perfect gentleman.”

Rainbow smirked and leaned back on the bed, propping herself up with her arms behind her. “Maybe a little too perfect, you know? Like, dude, I make more money than you. I can cover half the bill, you know?”

Fluttershy giggled. “He just wants to be chivalrous. Did he agree to let you pay for some stuff eventually?”

“More like he couldn’t stop me. After he paid for everything at the movies, I paid for dinner. Think it hurt his pride a little.”

“I’m sure he’ll be okay.” Fluttershy leaned in closer and grinned. “So did he get a goodnight kiss?”

Rainbow smirked. “Maybe.”

Fluttershy giggled. “You didn’t wait for saying goodnight, did you?”

Rainbow laughed and nudged Fluttershy. “Yeah, so we weren’t paying that much attention to the movie. So what?”

Fluttershy laughed as well. “Nothing. I’m just glad you had a good time.”

“Yeah, I think I needed something like this. And with the tour, we don’t even have to worry about time apart and all that.”

Fluttershy grinned wickedly. “And just think of the money we’ll save by you two sharing a hotel room!”

“Alright alright, enough teasing me. Come on, I want my chance at revenge! Tell me how it went with Zest so I can tease you!”

Fluttershy turned to face forward and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I… decided not to ask her.”

“You what?” Rainbow’s cocky smile fell away.

“Yeah, I just thought, you know… it might be weird. Dating someone in the band, you know?”

“Bullshit.” Rainbow fixed her with a glare. “I’ve seen you two together. I don’t believe for a minute that there’s not something going on.”

“I’m not saying there aren’t any feelings there.” Fluttershy’s mouth twitched. “I’m saying I don’t want to date her after all. Just like I wouldn’t want to date Gilda.”

“Shy, this is perfect for you!”

“Dash, I can decide what I want.” Fluttershy forced a smile as she turned to face Rainbow. “And what I want is for my friend group to stay the same. This is better for me.”

Rainbow looked uncertain. “Shy… I don’t know what to say, but –”

“You don’t have to say anything, Dash.” Fluttershy frowned. “I don’t want to talk about dating Lemon Zest. I made my decision.”

Rainbow placed a hand on her shoulder. “I just want you to be happy. Lemon Zest makes you happy!”

“She does. And so do you, and Gilda, and Dust, and everyone else. I don’t need a lover, not as long as I have you all.”

Rainbow sighed. “You say that, but you haven’t been that happy lately.”

“I’ve just been in a funk since Sonata left, but I’m coming out of it now. You’ll see, I’ll be better soon.”

Rainbow stared at her for a minute, then bowed her head. “I just hope you’re right.”

“I am. You’ll see.”

Rainbow smiled a little and punched Fluttershy lightly on the arm. “You know I just care about you, right?”

Fluttershy smiled. “I know. Thanks for always looking out for me, Dash.”

“Yeah, of course.” Rainbow put an arm around Fluttershy’s shoulders and pulled her closer. “What are sisters for, right?”

Fluttershy smiled. She didn’t need a lover, she had her family. “Right.”


	20. Those Left Behind

#### Chapter Twenty

## Those Left Behind

All Fluttershy had to do was keep busy. If she kept busy, she could get through anything. That was a lesson she’d learned long ago, and it had held true for her entire life so far.

That was it. It wasn’t complicated. Hell, it didn’t even matter much what she was doing.

So why couldn’t she just find something to do? There were usually various jobs around a show that she could throw herself in, but at every turn, she kept finding that things were already taken care of.

“Need any help?” Fluttershy asked Short Fuse while he tweaked his drumkit.

“Unless you wanna sit in on the soundcheck for me, no, I’m good.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Okay.”

She walked backstage and made for the dressing room to see if anyone was waiting in there that needed her help. She had to do _something_. She felt useless just drifting around like this.

She found Gilda putting on eyeshadow. She smiled as she walked in. “Do you think people can even tell you’re wearing that once you’re on stage?”

Gilda shrugged. “Might show up in photos. Besides, I like it.”

“Want a hand applying it?”

“Nah, I got it.” Gilda finished up one eye then focused on the other.

“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy frowned and took a seat.

She didn’t say anything while Gilda worked on her makeup, not wanting to cause her to mess up because of any distractions. Gilda was quiet as well, at least until she finished up, then she turned to Fluttershy and asked, “What’s up?”

Fluttershy shifted in her seat as she realized she didn’t have an answer. “I just… wondered if you had anything you wanted any help with?”

Gilda gave her a confused look. “Shy, we have roadies for that. Seriously, you’ve got to learn to relax.”

“I’m too relaxed, that’s the problem.”

“Not doing something is _not_ the same as relaxing.” Gilda folded her arms. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Why?”

“Just answer the question. Did you sleep last night?”

Fluttershy pursed her lips. “Yes, I did.”

Gilda inclined her head slightly. “Did you sleep _enough?_ ”

Fluttershy sighed. “I never sleep enough. You know that.”

“Thought so.” Gilda stood up and jerked her head for Fluttershy to do the same. “Come on, I’m gonna wait on the tour bus. Come with me and take a nap.”

Fluttershy smiled a little. “I’ll come with you, but I’m not taking a nap.”

“Nothing wrong with getting a little shut-eye.”

“I know, but I’m not tired.”

Gilda shook her head, but she didn’t try to convince Fluttershy anymore. She did lead them out towards the tour bus, though. They left through the back door and walked across the parking lot to where the tour bus was waiting for them.

Then Fluttershy saw the back of Lemon Zest’s head through a window, and she stopped in place. “Uhm, I think I’d rather head back inside.”

Gilda stopped walking and turned to look at her. “What, afraid I’m going to force you into bed?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I just realized I don’t want to sit still right now. The tour bus is a little cramped.”

Gilda seemed perplexed. “What are you going to do back in the venue?”

Fluttershy just smiled. “I’ll figure something out. Go relax, you’ve got a show starting soon. I’ll be fine.”

Apparently satisfied, Gilda just shrugged. “Whatever. You know where to find me.”

Fluttershy turned and went back into the building. Spending time with Gilda might have taken her mind off everything, but being around Lemon Zest definitely wouldn’t.

Everything centered around Lemon Zest. No, that wasn’t fair. She wasn’t the center, she was the catalyst. All her relationships failed, not just Lemon Zest. Fluttershy was the only one at the center of this shit storm.

It didn’t help that Lemon Zest was every bit as friendly as ever. Sure, she was a little more physically distant than before, but not as much as Fluttershy would have expected. She really took the decision to pretend nothing happened to heart.

Fluttershy shut the door behind her and leaned against it. She had no idea what she was going to do. Although she had only seen Lemon Zest in the tour bus, she knew someone else had to be in there – Lemon Zest never waited in the tour bus alone. Since The Washouts were currently doing their soundcheck, it had to be Rainbow or Windfall. Probably both, since the odds either of them would hang out in the venue by themselves weren’t great.

So all her friends were either in the tour bus or they were busy with the soundcheck. Great.

With a sigh, Fluttershy ducked into the open bar. It was really supposed to be for the afterparty, but no one was around to stop her. She grabbed a can of beer and started drinking.

While she drank, she listened to The Washouts perform. They’d been perfecting their sound on stage every night, and it showed. They were sounding better and better as time went on, and they were getting the hang of soundchecks as well.

Fluttershy decided if she was going to drink, she might as well go to the front – better to have tap beer instead of depleting the stock of cans in the back. She’d have to convince someone to open the bar early, which meant paying for it, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford it.

She wound up walking into the front part of the building right as the band was finishing their soundcheck, so she didn’t get to watch at all. Though that meant that they would be performing soon, which meant she could always watch the concert itself if she wanted to.

She still figured she might as well see if she could get the bar open. She wasn’t doing anything else, after all. Unfortunately, she didn’t see anyone, so she sat at the bar to wait for an employee to come around.

Someone did come find her, but it wasn’t an employee. “Hey, Shy,” Flash said as he sat next to her. “What’re you up to?”

“Wondering if anyone would yell at me for slipping back and helping myself to a beer.”

Flash chuckled. “Probably best not to risk it.”

Fluttershy had been leaning towards going for it, but she just shrugged and decided he was right. She turned to face him. “The Washouts are sounding really good lately.”

“Thanks,” Flash said with a grin. “I think we’ve come a long way since we started this tour.”

“I think so too.”

“So, uhm…” Flash swivelled a bit on his seat. “I was wondering if we could talk about something.”

Fluttershy smiled. “What do you want to know about her?”

“Huh?”

Fluttershy turned to face Flash properly. “You want to know something about Rainbow, right?”

Flash grinned. “Well… if you have any insider info…”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. “Rainbow pretends that she hates cutesy cartoons, but she loves them. Convince her you want to watch them and she’ll pretend like she doesn’t want to and is only doing it for you, but she’ll wind up having a great time.”

“Interesting.” Flash wore a little grin as he thought over the information. “I’ll have to keep that in mind. Thanks, Shy.”

“No problem.” At least that was one thing that was going well. Looking at it as an outsider, it hardly looked like Rainbow and Flash were a couple, but Fluttershy could see it. They both just seemed that extra little bit happier since they started dating.

“Although that wasn’t what I really wanted to talk to you about,” Flash said with a frown. “It’s actually about Sunset.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy frowned as well. She didn’t really care to talk about Sunset.

“It’s just… I can’t believe she’s getting married!” Flash leaned against the bar. “I know they’ve been together a while, so I guess it makes sense, but just… it’s so wild to think about.”

Fluttershy preferred not to think about it at all. “I guess it is.”

“And it just… I guess I’m kind of upset about the whole thing.”

“You are?” Fluttershy forced a smile. “Come on, you’re not going to tell me you’re still caught up on Twilight.”

Flash sighed. “Why does everyone always think that? It was a dance, like, five years ago.”

“I’m just teasing. Besides, if that was what was going on, I don’t think you’d be here talking to me about it. I mean, considering you and Rainbow are together now.”

Flash nodded. “Yeah, that might be awkward. I just… you were close to Sunset, obviously, so I thought maybe you’d see where I’m coming from better than Rainbow can.” Flash looked down at the floor. “It just kind of sucks that she didn’t invite me.”

“It would be hard to make it work with the tour,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“She doesn’t even know I’m in a band. She doesn’t know anything about me these past few years, because she doesn’t ever talk to me anymore!”

“Oh.” Fluttershy placed her hand on Flash’s shoulder. “She abandoned you too, huh?”

“Yeah, she basically did. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy things are working out for her, but it’s just like… what the hell about those of us she left behind?”

“I know what you mean.”

“She’s a whole world away, but the portal opens up into CHS. How hard would it be to drop me a line when she’s in town sometime? Hell, I know about Equestria, she could invite me there like she did with Applejack and Pinkie Pie.”

“She invited me once, for her birthday, but I didn’t go. Everything was still so fresh back then.”

Flash nodded. “I want to say that’s so unlike her. The Sunset I know wouldn’t give up on you, she would give you the time you needed then try again. But then… maybe the Sunset I knew wasn’t really who she was.”

Fluttershy bowed her head. “It was Applejack who invited me this time. I guess it would be kind of nice to know Sunset wanted to patch things up after all this time. I… don’t know if I really want to though.”

“But just knowing she’d be willing to make the attempt would say a lot, right?”

Fluttershy winced and clung to the fabric of her skirt a little tightly. “I guess it would.”

“It would for me, anyway.” Flash sighed. “I don’t know. I just keep thinking about who she was back in high school, you know? And not just when she was CHS’s number one bully, but before then. I’ve seen so many sides of Sunset Shimmer, that I don’t even know who she is anymore.”

“I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it?” Fluttershy looked Flash in the eyes. “She was just someone who was part of our lives for a little while, and now she’s not.”

“Heh. Like your song about her?”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’s how I think of her, anyway. Just… someone who never really belonged here, who was just clinging to us for a little while before going back to where she really belonged.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Of course I’m not okay with that.” Fluttershy hardened her expression. “I wanted it to be _me_ she would marry, not some other version of me in another world. I loved her. I loved her so much it hurt, and it’s never stopped hurting since. But it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it, because that’s who she _is_. She drifts through life because she doesn’t really belong anywhere.” Fluttershy shook her head. “Well, maybe she found somewhere she belongs now.”

“I guess… I wouldn’t mind if she wasn’t still close with Applejack and Pinkie Pie. I mean I’m sure it would still sting, but I could accept if she was just done with this world. I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, but I kind of always thought with all of our history, the two of us had something going for us.”

Fluttershy laughed a little. “You thought you two might get back together, you mean?”

“No, nothing romantic. Just like, I thought if she reached out to anyone, it would be me.”

Fluttershy felt a little bad for Flash, but she couldn’t understand how anyone who knew Sunset and Applejack would’ve thought that anyone else could compete with what they had. And, of course, that included Fluttershy herself as well. “I guess we both overestimated what she thought of us.”

“I guess we did.” Flash sighed and smiled. “Anyway, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I figured if anyone would understand, it would be you.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do anything to help you feel better.”

Flash shook his head. “No, I feel a little better just talking about it. I guess… it helps to know I’m not the only one who feels like this.”

Fluttershy smiled a little. “If you want to feel like you’re not the only one angry at Sunset, just talk to Rainbow sometimes.”

“No thanks. No matter how upset with her I am, I’m not ‘talk with Rainbow about her’ levels of upset.”

Fluttershy covered her mouth and laughed again. “Yeah, Rainbow really is in a league of her own there.”

“Anyway, I should probably head backstage. We’ll be going on soon.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I think I’ll wait out here a little longer. Go on ahead without me.”

“Alright. Later, Shy.”

“Bye.”

Flash stood up and waved Fluttershy off as he walked away. Then he was gone, and Fluttershy was alone.

Alone. Fluttershy felt alone so often, even if she was always surrounded by friends. She had a bigger support group than ever on this tour, and she still felt so damn alone all the time.

All she needed to do was keep busy, but there was nothing left for her to do.

So all she was left with were her thoughts. Lemon Zest not wanting a relationship, Sonata leaving her without saying goodbye, and Sunset. Always Sunset. Everything came back to her eventually, no matter how much time passed.

Fluttershy pressed her hand against her shoulder, feeling the place where she knew there was a red and yellow sun tattooed onto her skin. A permanent reminder of just how stupid she could be.

Sunset was never hers, she never even belonged in this world. Fluttershy had known that, and yet she had dared to hope that somehow _she_ could be enough to make Sunset want to stick around.

Of course Sunset left her. Fluttershy had seen to it personally. But even if she hadn’t, could it have ever really worked? Maybe Sunset would’ve wanted to go home after all…

“Can I get you something?” a woman asked.

Fluttershy looked up to see someone was finally behind the counter. And judging by the extra people around, the doors must have opened while Fluttershy was lost in her thoughts.

Which mattered less than the fact someone was willing to serve her alcohol. Fluttershy smiled and placed an order.

* * *

The show was good, but the afterparty was what Fluttershy was really interested in. It was time to finally stop worrying about the day and have some fun.

Fluttershy was sitting on a barstool by herself for the moment, but she had no intention of letting things stay that way. She already had her eye on a cute red-haired girl. She sipped her drink and thought over her approach.

But before she could act on it, she heard a voice. “Hey, Fluttershy, can we talk?”

Fluttershy did not want to talk, she wanted to flirt. She especially didn’t want to talk with the woman who was standing beside her. Still, she forced a smile and turned to Lemon Zest. “Of course. What’s up?”

Lemon Zest bounced on her feet a little. “I actually wanted to ask you that. You seem really distant lately, and I just wanted to make sure we’re, you know, still cool.”

Fluttershy couldn’t keep looking Lemon Zest in the eyes, so she turned away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was being distant.”

“I’m just, you know…” Lemon Zest sighed and took a seat beside Fluttershy. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just tell me. I want things to be normal between us again, you know?”

“I want the same thing, Zest.” Fluttershy frowned through her lies. “I hadn’t noticed I was being distant. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no, I get it. It’s just, you know, I don’t want this to be one of those things that only ever gets worse because we never talk about it.”

“Well…” Fluttershy took a drink of her beer, wishing she had more of it. She’d been drinking all day, but still, she wasn’t drunk enough for this conversation. “We did agree to pretend it didn’t happen. Pretty sure that means not speaking about it.”

Lemon Zest stared at Fluttershy. “You can’t really want that.”

“I can.” Fluttershy looked at Lemon Zest. “I do.”

Lemon Zest sighed and looked down. “So what? We just let it fester?”

“I’m not letting anything fester,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “I’m going to go flirt with a cute girl right now, in fact. See, I’m not wallowing in misery or anything, I’m still getting the most out of life.”

“Oh, okay.” Lemon Zest shook her head, then smiled. “Well, as long as you’re happy. And hey, maybe we can hang out tomorrow some.”

“Of course.” Fluttershy finished her drink. “We always have the tour bus.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

To be fair, Fluttershy knew she had been distant from Lemon Zest even on the tour bus. She would just have to fake it a little harder.

But first, the night was young and Fluttershy wasn’t looking to spend it alone. And if she found someone else to take back to the hotel, that meant another night of having an excuse to _not_ spend it with Lemon Zest. “Now then, I think it’s time for me to make my move.”

“Okay. Good luck!”

Fluttershy smiled. “Thanks.” She stood up and walked over to the red-haired woman, ignoring the way that the room seemed to sway a little bit.

“Hello,” Fluttershy said to her. “Enjoying yourself?”

The red-haired woman smiled. “Yeah, this is great. I’m such a huge fan of The Washouts.”

Fluttershy blinked. That was new. “Really? I’ll have to tell Dust you’re here for her band, she’ll be over the moon.”

“You know Lightning Dust?”

“Yeah, I’m the tour manager. I did some production work with The Washouts too, and co-wrote one of their songs.”

“Oh, sweet!” The woman stuck out her hand. “My name’s Ginger Snap. It’s nice to meet you…?”

“Fluttershy.” She smiled as she shook Ginger Snap’s hand. “Do you want to meet the band?”

“I’d love to! I’ve been a little nervous about just walking up and talking to them…”

Fluttershy giggled. “They’re really nice. Come on, let’s go say hi.”

Fluttershy took the other girl by the hand and led her over to Lightning Dust, who was talking to some other fans with Rolling Thunder. She was used to this situation, so she immediately jumped in to sing Fluttershy’s praises like the perfect wingman.

That impressed Ginger Snap, who soon caught on to Fluttershy’s flirting. She wasted no time in giving as good as she got, and they talked about what Fluttershy did for the bands. Unsurprisingly, Ginger wound up being a Bitchette fan as well, and Fluttershy wowed her with having written Broken Mirror.

They shared a few drinks, and the evening passed by in a sort of blur. She later wouldn’t remember who kissed whom first, but it wasn’t long before they were both getting into it. It took even less time for them to agree to go back to Fluttershy’s hotel room.

They laughed giddily the whole way, exchanging kisses freely. Thankfully their cab driver was a young man who seemed all too happy to have a couple of lesbians making out in the back of his car, so he didn’t say anything against it. By the time they got to the hotel, they were stumbling through the hallway to Fluttershy’s room.

Fluttershy paused at her door to kiss Ginger Snap, pulling their bodies close together. It wasn’t real. Even then, Fluttershy knew that. But it didn’t matter, because she wasn’t alone.

“Wow, nice room,” Ginger said once they made it through the door.

Fluttershy giggled. “It’s okay. Good enough for us.” She shut the door behind her and walked across the room. “Good enough for tonight.”

Ginger Snap grinned and held out her arms, so Fluttershy fell into them. They tumbled towards the bed, laughing and kissing all the way. Soon clothes went flying all over the room, and Fluttershy clicked the bedside table light off.

* * *

It was right at sunset. The world was coated in shades of amber, red, and yellow. It was beautiful, but it was painful.

Fluttershy hardly noticed. She was digging. She didn’t know why she was digging, but she kept at it. “Stop,” they told her. She didn’t.

Each shovelful of dirt brought her a little bit lower into the ground. She wasn’t sure why, but she couldn’t stop. Everyone wanted her to, but she didn’t listen to them.

Fluttershy was digging.

Then _she_ arrived. Sunset Shimmer stepped down into the hole. “Come with me,” she said. “Let me help you.”

Fluttershy kept digging.

“I’m still here for you. I know things have been bad between us, but I still care about you.”

Fluttershy didn’t look up. “No, you don’t.”

Sunset frowned. Fluttershy didn’t look up, but she knew Sunset was frowning. “Then you’ll be lost. You can’t do this without me.”

“I can’t,” Fluttershy agreed. She had known that, some part of her had always known, but she never said so. “But I’m going to try.”

And Sunset Shimmer faded, taking the sunset with her.

The world grew darker. First to twilight, then to dusk. Blue and purple replaced the colors around her. Fluttershy kept digging.

Someone’s arms curled around her, threatening to stop her once more. “Shy, come on! Let’s get out of here and have some fun!”

Fluttershy kept digging, even with Sonata Dusk’s arms around her. “You never loved me. You never could.”

“I’m not human, Shy. I’m not going to be the way you want me to be.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said, and she did. She couldn’t expect anything out of Sonata.

“But we had fun, right?”

“We did.”

Fluttershy kept digging, even as Sonata left without warning.

There was no telling how much time passed by. All light faded until Fluttershy was left digging in the blackness. Was that from the night sky or from the hole she’d dug for herself? She wasn’t sure. She dug.

“Fluttershy, come up from there!”

Lemon Zest didn’t come down like the others did, but she did call down into the hole.

Fluttershy ignored her.

“Shy, we’re all here for you.”

Lemon Zest wasn’t alone. Rainbow Dash, Windfall, Gilda, Lightning Dust, Flash Sentry, they were all there and they were all waiting for her.

Fluttershy dug deeper.

“None of you even need me anymore. You can find someone to replace me, I’m not important.”

Another truth. No one needed her, not really. They needed someone in her position, but it never had to be her.

Fluttershy kept digging until she couldn’t hear their voices anymore. She kept digging until she felt something against her shovel that wasn’t dirt or rock. She tapped again to make sure, but there was no denying.

She’d struck wood.

She bent down and brushed away the dirt. Her hands were never clean anymore anyway. She brushed away the dirt, and she pulled out a small wooden coffin.

It was all she wanted. The only one who would never have left her.

Fluttershy ran her hands across the ends, and she never once questioned what she was doing.

She opened it.

* * *

Fluttershy didn’t jolt awake. Nothing so dramatic. She merely opened her eyes and realized it had all been a nightmare.

It hadn’t been the kind that scared her, which was something, but she almost wished it was. She reached her hand to her face and found it was wet. From tears. From sweat. She closed her eyes and forced herself to swallow.

She didn’t have nightmares as often when she slept with someone else, but it still happened. Still, there was a comfort to be found in having someone else in her bed when she woke up from a dream like that. She reached out her hand, feeling for Ginger Snap’s body.

There was no one beside her. Fluttershy sat up and blinked, then turned on the light. She looked around the room, but she didn’t see anyone. The bathroom door was wide open and she could see there was no light on inside it.

Ginger Snap had left already, disappearing into the night. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Fluttershy bowed her head and held it in her hands. She was alone. As always. She was all alone.


	21. An Intervention

#### Chapter Twenty-One

## An Intervention

Days off while on tour were strange things. They weren’t any more rare than any other job; it would take an act of God to be able to perfectly align a tour schedule with the various venues’ schedules to manage a show every single night. But every day off was spent in a different city.

As such, there was a lot of uncertainty about how to spend any given day off. There were always sights to see and things to do, but no one ever really knew what they were exactly.

Which was how Rainbow and Gilda found themselves wandering around a bunch of shops that neither of them was really interested in. Their hotel was in the city’s downtown district, so they figured they could just walk around and find something cool. So far, they’d been mistaken.

“Wanna just head back to the hotel?” Rainbow asked.

Gilda sighed. “Yeah, maybe we can hit up some of the others and find something worth doing.”

As the two of them started walking back, Rainbow pulled out her phone to check the time. She saw she had a text message from Lemon Zest asking her to call before coming back to the hotel, so she did.

“Hey, Dash.”

“What’s up, Zest?”

There was a moment’s pause before Lemon Zest answered. “I think we need to talk about Fluttershy.”

Rainbow frowned. “Did something happen?”

“Nothing new, just… she isn’t doing so well. I know she’s trying to hide it, but I can still see it. I’m sure you can too.”

“She’s going through a rough patch right now.”

“She’s _living_ in a rough patch, Dash. This has been going on for years, and I… I think I made it worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not supposed to talk about this, but… Shy kissed me.”

“She what?” Fluttershy had lied to Rainbow? “She told me she decided _not_ to try anything with you because you’re in the band.”

“Yeah, we kind of agreed to pretend it never happened.”

“But wait, are you telling me you actually weren’t interested? After everything you two do together?”

“Look, I feel like shit enough. I gave her the wrong idea because I’m an idiot who didn’t know what the words asexual and aromantic meant until a couple days ago.”

“Wait, what _do_ those mean?”

“It means I’m not wired for relationships.” Lemon Zest sighed. “Look, this isn’t about me though. I’m just worried about Shy. Every single night since then, she’s gotten drunk and gone back to the hotel with a different girl. I just… I don’t think she’s picking a healthy coping mechanism.”

There was some truth to that, as much as Rainbow hated to admit it. “Okay. So what do we do?”

“I think we should get everyone together to talk about that. We can all go out to dinner or something and then we can figure something out together.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that won’t be suspicious. ‘Hey, Shy. We’re all going out to eat, but you can’t come.’ ”

“Don’t sweat it, I have a foolproof plan,” Lemon Zest said confidently. “I’ll just ask her to come.”

Rainbow furrowed her brow. “What?”

“She’s avoiding me, so if _I_ ask her to come, she’ll make an excuse and stay at the hotel.”

Rainbow wanted to stick up for Fluttershy, but if Fluttershy had really kissed Lemon Zest, she probably _would_ be trying to avoid her. “I guess worst case scenario is she accepts and spends some time with friends. It’d probably be good for her either way.”

“Yeah, true. You’re with Gilda, right? Can you bring it up with her?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Cool. I’ll call the others.”

Rainbow took a deep breath. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”

“See you later then.”

“See ya.”

Rainbow hung up the phone and kept staring at it for a moment. Eventually she shook her head and looked at Gilda. “Hey, what do you think of Shy lately? You think she’s doing okay?”

Gilda stared forward and put her hands behind her head. “I mean, I only got to know Shy like a year ago. But even I can tell things are getting worse. We doing an intervention?”

“No one said anything about that, we’re just getting together to talk about what we can do for her.”

Gilda shrugged. “Probably an intervention. She drinks, like, way too much.”

“You’re not exactly one to talk.”

“Yeah, but I’m not getting wasted every night.”

Rainbow winced, thinking of how Lemon Zest had said the same thing. There really was no way around it – Fluttershy had developed a drinking problem. In retrospect, it was pretty easy to see that it had been going on for quite some time.

The idea sunk into Rainbow’s brain and left her unable to make conversation on the rest of the way back to the hotel. How could she let this happen? She was supposed to be the one looking out for Fluttershy.

However it had happened, it had happened. All Rainbow could do now was react to it. “Whatever’s going on with Shy, we’ll help her through it.”

Gilda nodded. “Yeah, she’s got a lot of people looking out for her. She’ll be alright.”

They made their way back to the hotel, quickly heading up to their floor. Before going to see Fluttershy, they stopped by Lemon Zest’s room.

She was just getting off the phone with someone when she answered the door. “That was Dust, she’s on board.”

Rainbow nodded and walked into the room and took a seat on one of the chairs in the kitchen area. “So is that everyone then.”

“Still have to ask Flash, but I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

“I’ll ask him,” Rainbow said. “Anyone know if he’s in his room?”

“He’s your boyfriend…” Gilda mumbled.

“He said he was heading down to the pool earlier. Dunno if he’s still there.”

Rainbow stood up. “I’ll go look for him. Text me when it’s time to go.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll give you two some alone time first,” Gilda said.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but before she could reply, Lemon Zest asked, “Should we invite Short Fuse and Rolling Thunder?”

Rainbow shrugged. “I dunno, Shy isn’t really close to them. I think just the band, Dust, and Flash works out.”

Lemon Zest nodded, so Rainbow stood up and walked out of the room. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Flash asking him to meet up. Figuring that if he was at the pool, he probably wouldn’t have his phone on him, Rainbow still made her way to the elevator to go down and look for him.

It only took a couple minutes to reach the pool, then only a few moments to find Flash. He was doing laps in the pool, but he stopped when he saw Rainbow approaching. He swam up to the edge of the pool and pulled himself out.

“Hey, Flash. Need to talk to you about something.”

Flash frowned. “Is this a good talk?”

Rainbow smiled and rolled her eyes. “Relax, it isn’t even about us.”

Flash seemed relieved by that one, and he followed Rainbow to the chairs. He grabbed a towel as Rainbow sat down, then took a seat beside her. “So what’s going on?”

“It’s about Fluttershy,” Rainbow said as Flash vigorously dried off his head. “We think she hasn’t been doing too well lately, and we were all gonna get together tonight to talk about what we can do to help her.”

“Okay, where are we meeting up?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Somewhere for dinner, I think Zest and Gilda are figuring that out.”

“I think that sounds good. Fluttershy’s been a lot more… out of it than she used to be.”

Rainbow sighed. “You mean drunk every night.”

“Well, I was trying not to say it…”

“No point in beating around the bush. Shy isn’t doing well, and the alcohol is the place to start.”

Flash ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess that’s true…”

Rainbow sighed, and Flash gave her a contemplative look. After a moment, he asked, “Wanna head back to one of our rooms?”

“Yeah, sure.” Rainbow stood up, so Flash did the same. He draped the towel over his shoulders and followed Rainbow into the building, then into the elevator.

Since Flash still needed to change into regular clothes, they chose his room. Rainbow sat down on his bed while he got changed.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” he said once he was done. He sat down beside her.

“I just… wish I could’ve done something before it got this bad.”

“What matters is that we’re going to do something now.” Flash put an arm around Rainbow, so she leaned into him. His skin was still cool from being in the water.

“I feel so useless.”

“Come on, it’s because of you that Fluttershy held herself together as well as she did, you know.”

“Maybe…”

“Definitely.” Flash smiled at her and squeezed her gently. “You do so much for her. I’m sure it’s way more than you even realize.”

Rather than answer, Rainbow kicked off her shoes and pushed herself further onto the bed. Flash followed suit, and Rainbow lay with her head against his chest.

“So how long do we have before we all head out?” Flash asked.

“Dunno. Until dinner time, I guess.”

Flash shifted to reach the remote, then returned so Rainbow could lay against him some more. He turned on the TV and started flipping through channels, then stopped on an animated movie.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Really?”

“What? I figured you could use something to get your mind off it, and this is a classic.”

“You’re so lame.”

“Want me to change it?”

“Nah, this is fine.” Rainbow shifted so she could see the TV a little better, and let the movie and Flash distract her from her thoughts.

* * *

They chose a casual chain restaurant to meet up in, everyone deciding they’d rather go somewhere they all knew instead of trying a local place. It probably also helped make Fluttershy feel like she wasn’t missing out on anything special.

Just as Lemon Zest had expected, Fluttershy had said she was too tired to head out. Everyone was pretty sure she’d spent the entire day alone in her hotel room, and Lemon Zest reported seeing a bottle of some sort when she asked, although she wasn’t sure what it was.

Still, they didn’t talk about Fluttershy at first. No one seemed to be sure how to broach the topic, so they talked about the food they were getting instead. After they ordered, they sat around awkwardly until Gilda finally bit the bullet. “So, can we all agree Fluttershy has a problem?”

There were murmurs of agreement. Even now, Rainbow still wanted to deny it. It felt so wrong to not blindly stick up for Fluttershy. She had to remind herself this _was_ sticking up for Fluttershy, even if the person she needed to be protected from this time was herself.

“She drinks too much,” Rainbow said. “We all kind of do, but she takes it to another level.”

“I guess she kind of does,” Lightning Dust said. “I always kind of thought, you know, she’s young! Let her enjoy life a little bit. But, you know…”

Lemon Zest sighed. “But she’s not enjoying life. We can all see she’s miserable.”

“So, what?” Windfall asked. “We do an intervention?”

“That’s what I thought,” Gilda said.

“Didn’t she try to get sober with Sunset?” Flash asked.

Everyone looked to Rainbow, who sighed. “No. Back then, Sunset was the one with the drinking problem, so she tried to get sober. But Shy just… I mean, she didn’t drink like she does now back then, you know?”

“And Sunset never got sober either…” Flash frowned. “Wonder if Shy had anything to do with that.”

Rainbow glared at Flash. He may be her boyfriend, but there were certain lines he needed to know not to ever cross. “That wasn’t Fluttershy’s fault.”

“I’m not saying it was,” Flash answered quickly. “Sunset had a lot going on back then. But just… it’s gotta be hard getting sober when the people around you keep drinking, right?”

“Hold on,” Lightning Dust said. “Are we saying she needs to get sober or just cut back some? Jesus, she’s what, twenty-four?”

“Twenty-three,” Rainbow said.

Lightning Dust shook her head. “Isn’t she a little young to be, you know, going clean?”

“I don’t think it’s about how old she is,” Windfall said. “I think it’s just about the fact she has a problem. My dad tried to cut back on smoking for years, and he only broke away when he completely quit. Limiting can be even harder than quitting, you know?”

“Especially once you start drinking,” Gilda said. “I think she’d be better off quitting completely, at least until her life is more stable again. And I think we should all do our part to have no alcohol backstage.”

“Wait, what?” Lightning Dust frowned.

“It’s not like _we’re_ giving up drinking,” Lemon Zest said. “Just not when Shy’s around. Come on, Dust, she’s our friend. We all have to do our part, yeah?”

Lightning sighed. “Fine. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I… I don’t know…” Rainbow frowned. There was something else that no one was saying, so she might as well say it. “Do you think maybe a tour environment isn’t even that good for her right now?”

“What are you suggesting?” Flash asked.

Rainbow leaned back in her seat and looked down at the table. “I’m saying… maybe she should go back to Everton. Get clean with AJ and Pinkie, find a fucking girlfriend who isn’t going to leave her. Get _better_ , then maybe she can figure out if she… if she wants to come back.”

Flash put his hand on Rainbow’s shoulder and didn’t say anything, but one look at his face and Rainbow could tell that he understood how hard this was for her.

Before anyone could reply, their food came. Rainbow suspected that none of them were thrilled to pause the conversation to eat, but they also weren’t going to talk when their waitress was passing out meals.

Rainbow twirled the pasta around her chicken alfredo, barely bothering to eat it. She found she was less hungry than she’d been moments ago.

Eventually, Windfall spoke up. “None of us are happy with that suggestion, but… I think it makes sense.”

“She… does also have a problem with sex,” Lemon Zest said. “I know no one really wants to talk about that either, but it’s not healthy the way she’s been sleeping with a different girl every night. Does anyone know if she’s even, er… being safe?”

Rainbow twirled her pasta. “I’ve never asked.”

Lemon Zest nodded. “Going back to Everton gets her out of that environment and into one where she can actually find someone. I think we can all agree that’d be good for her.”

No one agreed, but no one disagreed either. Eventually Lightning Dust spoke up. “This fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, it does,” Windfall said. Everyone else added their own agreements as well.

“So… when do we talk to Fluttershy?” Flash asked. “Tonight?”

“She’s alone tonight,” Gilda said in between bites of her meal. “So it might be a good time.”

“This will be fun…” Lemon Zest said.

They had a lackluster dinner, which no one seemed to be that interested in anymore. There was no fun conversation, no joking around, no bravado as Rainbow and Lightning compared their bands. Just a miserable meal that no one really wanted anymore.

Rainbow only ate about half her meal, deciding to give the other half to Fluttershy if she wanted it. It was a poor peace offering when they were essentially kicking her off the tour, but at least Rainbow would know she ate something.

She wasn’t the only one who didn’t finish their meal. Almost their whole group wound up needing to-go boxes. They wrapped up their meals, boxed up what was left, paid the bill, and were soon calling for a couple taxis to get back to the hotel.

Rainbow crammed into the back of a taxi with Flash and Lightning, while the other three took another. They barely talked on the way back to the hotel, and Rainbow felt like she was going to be sick. Flash kept his arm around her the whole time, which helped a little.

They reached the hotel first, so they stood around waiting a few minutes for the others. Rainbow finally spoke up as they waited. “God, I just want this to be over.”

“I hear that,” Flash said. “I’m dreading it and I’m not even as close as you two are. Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah… I just hope she doesn’t take it too bad.”

Lightning Dust cleared her throat. “So… what do we say when she refuses to go?”

Rainbow didn’t need to ask why it was ‘when’, there was no way Fluttershy would go easy. She folded her arms and frowned at the ground. “I don’t think we should force her.”

“I agree, that wouldn’t go over well,” Flash said. “All we can do is try to convince her that we all think this is the best thing for her.”

Rainbow kicked at the ground. She didn’t like any part of this, but she knew they needed to do something.

The other taxi arrived soon, and they all went up together as one large group. Rainbow worried that might prove to be a little too much for Fluttershy, but she knew it was how interventions usually worked.

They paused outside of Fluttershy’s door, everyone looking at each other uncertainly. Gilda eventually sighed and stepped forward to be the one to knock on it.

A moment later, Fluttershy opened it cautiously. She furrowed her brow and looked around when she saw how many people were gathered around her room. “Is everything okay?”

Gilda was the first one to speak. “We just want to talk. Can we come in?”

“Uhm, sure, I guess.” Fluttershy stepped away from the door, letting the others in. Gilda and Lightning Dust took seats on the only chairs in the room, Rainbow and Flash sat on the bed, while Windfall, Lemon Zest, and Fluttershy all remained standing.

“What’s this all about?” Fluttershy asked.

She looked so small to Rainbow, surrounded by everyone else like that. It was uncharacteristic of her, but Rainbow stood back up and walked over to Fluttershy to hug her. Fluttershy hugged her back, and Rainbow led her to the bed.

Figuring it would be best to hear it from her rather than Gilda, Rainbow spoke up as they took a seat. “We’re all worried about you, Shy.”

Fluttershy frowned. “What? But I’m fine. I’ve even been going to shows again and everything.”

“Yeah, and drinking every night,” Windfall said. “A lot.”

“I don’t drink that much,” Fluttershy said.

Rainbow looked down at her hands folded in her lap. It hurt to not back up Fluttershy’s word, but she forced herself to be honest. Her voice was soft when it came out. “Yeah, you do. You get drunk, like, every night.”

“Shy, this bottle of bourbon is almost empty…” Lemon Zest said, holding up a bottle.

Fluttershy pursed her lips and looked away from all the others, staring at a bedside table. “So I drank a little today. I was just relaxing on my day off.”

Rainbow took Fluttershy’s hands. “You drink _every_ day, Shy.”

Fluttershy took her hands back. “We all do, it’s not just me.”

“We know our limits, though,” Lightning said.

Gilda cleared her throat. “What Lightning means is that we could all stand to drink a little less. And no one’s gonna say it, but we’re worried about all the groupies you sleep with too.”

Fluttershy’s face grew red, and she didn’t say anything.

“We’re not trying to attack you, Shy,” Windfall said. “We’re just worried for you is all.” He took a deep breath. “And we’re not sure touring is really good for you right now.”

Fluttershy whipped her head in his direction. Her gaze was fierce, but her voice came out frail. “What are you saying?”

“We’re saying…” Rainbow looked to the others, but she saw no one else wanted to break the news either. “We’re saying that we think you should go back to Everton. At least until you’re better.”

“Until I’m better?” Fluttershy stood up. “I’ve given everything for this band, I don’t have any more to give!”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that!” Rainbow grimaced.

“You’ve given too much, Shy,” Lightning said, also rising to her feet. “That’s what we’re saying. You’ve just… you’ve given too much…”

Lemon Zest bounced in place. “Shy… none of us _want_ you to leave, but we’re scared. We need you. You’re our friend, and our badass manager. You’re just as much a part of Bitchette as me, or Rainbow, or anyone is. We don’t want to risk losing you.”

“No, you just want me to be back in Everton, where I can’t do anything for you!”

Rainbow shook her head. “Shy, it’s not like that…”

“No one’s saying forever,” Flash said, speaking up for the first time. “Take some time off, you deserve it. Then you can come back on the next tour.”

“Yeah, it’s like a vacation!” Lemon Zest said.

“And what if you decide I’m not better by the time the next tour starts?” Fluttershy asked, her voice growing desperate. “What if you still don’t want me? What if I’m still not good enough? What if I’m… what if I…”

Fluttershy’s words trailed off and she stared at the floor. It took a second for it to register because of how quiet it was, but Rainbow soon noticed she was crying.

A moment later, and she was on her feet hugging Fluttershy. Lemon Zest was quick to join in, then the others. One by one, they all crowded around Fluttershy to hug her, or at least be close by for the group hug.

“Fluttershy, we just want you to work on feeling better.” Rainbow pulled away enough to smile at Fluttershy. “Go relax, take some time to hang out with AJ and Pinkie, get a girlfriend, just… relax, okay?”

Fluttershy nodded weakly. “Okay…”

“So you’ll do it?”

Fluttershy nodded a little more. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll go back to Everton.”

“Hey, the tour isn’t for that much longer,” Windfall said. “Then we’ve got the album to do. We can record it in Everton so you can be there for it.”

Rainbow grinned. “Yeah, and we’ve got our album to do too.”

“Oh… We won’t be together to write songs though…”

Gilda shrugged the problem off. “So tell the label we need a little more time off to work on the album this time. They can give us an extra month or whatever so you two can have time to finish your album.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Okay. Uhm…” She looked around at everyone. “I think… I need a little time to myself. I have a lot to think about.”

Rainbow frowned. “Alright, but any of us are here if you need us.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I know.”

Everyone was already standing, so they just had to awkwardly file over to the door. As everyone else stepped out, Rainbow gave Fluttershy one last hug. “It’ll all be okay, Shy. This will be good for you.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.” Rainbow flashed a thumbs up. “Call or text me if you need me.”

“I will.”

Rainbow stepped out with the others, and Fluttershy closed the door behind her. She looked around at everyone else, seeing that no one really seemed to know what to do from there.

Eventually, Lightning Dust spoke up. “Right, well… Guess I’ll head off to bed then.”

“Yeah, me too,” Gilda said. “Night, dweebs.”

There were murmurs from the others, and they all made their way to their rooms. All of them except for Flash, whom Rainbow stopped with a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, uhm… wanna watch a movie or something?”

Flash smiled at her, and Rainbow knew it must be pretty obvious that she just didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t draw attention to it, though. “Sure. Your room or mine?”

“I don’t care,” Rainbow said, so she wound up following Flash to his room.

They both took a seat on his bed and he flipped through TV channels while Rainbow curled up next to him and tried not to think about a tour without Fluttershy.

* * *

Rainbow had difficulty sleeping, and not just because she was used to having the bed for herself. She’d stayed the night in Flash’s room, thinking it’d be better than sleeping alone.

At least one of them slept well. Flash was snoring away, and didn’t even notice Rainbow leaving the room. She hated to wake anyone up, but she knew Fluttershy always woke up freakishly early anyway.

And in truth, she was looking forward to a little one on one time with her sister. It had been good to have all their friends there for support, and of course they’d all be there on the tour bus, but some things were just easier to talk about in private.

Rainbow knocked on her door and called through it. “Fluttershy, it’s me. Can we talk?”

Rainbow waited for an answer and checked the time on her phone. It was still pretty early, barely after seven. What time did Fluttershy wake up anyway? “Hey, Shy? You asleep?”

Rainbow tried the door and found it unlocked. She frowned and entered the room as quietly as she could.

She looked at the bed and saw Fluttershy wasn’t there. “Uh, Shy?” She checked the bathroom next, but it was empty.

It was only when she turned around that she saw Fluttershy on the other side of the bed, lying face down in a puddle of vomit. “Shy!”

Rainbow ran to her and tried to shake her, but she didn’t respond. “Shy, get up! Someone, help!”

Rainbow kept yelling for help as she pulled Fluttershy’s motionless body up onto her own. She was warm, and Rainbow could see she was breathing.

Looking around wildly, Rainbow’s eyes fell onto a bottle of pills beside the bed. She had never seen it before, and she knew Fluttershy wasn’t on any medications.

“Help, someone!”

“Rainbow?” Lemon Zest said from behind her. “What’s going – oh my God!”

“Zest, Shy… I don’t know what happened!”

Lemon Zest stepped back. “Hold on, I’m going to call for someone!”

Her phone! Rainbow had her phone! She reached into her pocket and pulled it out, dialing 911. She held it to her ear with one hand, cradling Fluttershy in the other.

“Please be okay, Shy, please be okay.” It was all she could do to repeat it over and over.

“Please be okay.”


	22. Sky Shimmer

#### Chapter Twenty-Two

## Sky Shimmer

There was nothing else quite like the way Fluttershy felt right now. She and Sunset walked into the kitchen, carrying their daughter in tow. They each had hold of one of her hands, and they lifted her together to place her into a chair. She laughed as they dropped her into the seat, the way six-year-olds often did when adults carried them around.

“You sit down too,” Sunset said to Fluttershy. “I’ll serve breakfast.”

“You already made it,” Fluttershy pointed out. “You don’t have to do that.”

“No, I want to.”

Fluttershy smiled to herself and shook her head, but she sat down next to her daughter all the same. She leaned in close to the young girl and whispered loudly enough for Sunset to hear her, “Tell me the truth, you really made these yourself, didn’t you?”

Sky Shimmer laughed. Fluttershy always loved Sky’s laugh. It was the most musical sound in the world to her. “No, Mom helped too. Really!”

“Hmm…” Fluttershy tapped her chin in mock contemplation. “Mom helping in the kitchen? I don’t know about that…”

“Unfortunately for you, I did help make them.” Sunset set down a plate of pancakes on the table, then got out three plates for them, as well as butter and syrup. She served Sky while Fluttershy helped herself. “I don’t promise they’ll be edible, though.”

Fluttershy giggled. “They look great, dear.”

After cutting Sky’s into bites for her, Sunset took a seat and pulled the last of the pancakes onto her own plate.

It was Mother’s Day, and her wife and daughter had decided to surprise Fluttershy with a homemade breakfast. It was a simple treat – they didn’t have the money to do extravagant things, anyway – but it meant the world to Fluttershy.

She looked at her daughter, who had already managed to get syrup all over her pretty little baby blue face. Fluttershy didn’t mind though; she wanted to let her daughter be a kid. The fact that Sunset _also_ had syrup on her face already though…

Oh, who was she kidding? Fluttershy felt nothing but love for both of them. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you two.”

“Yeah, you basically won the lottery,” Sunset said through a bite of pancake. She swallowed and smiled. “Even if you have to put up with me to get Sky.”

Sky nudged Fluttershy. “Mama, she did it again.”

Fluttershy nodded and gave Sunset a stern look. “That’s right, remember you’re not supposed to say bad things about yourself.”

“Yeah,” Sky said equally sternly. “You’re s’posed to be the example.”

Sunset laughed. “Okay okay, you got me. I guess I’m pretty good too.”

“That’s more like it,” Fluttershy said. She looked at Sky and they nodded at each other in agreement.

Sunset took another bite of her pancake. “Nothing gets past you two.”

Fluttershy reached out and stroked a yellow strand in Sky’s yellow and pink streaked hair. “Nope. Not with our little princess watching you like a hawk.”

Sky beamed at her moms, her face shining with sticky maple syrup. It wasn’t true, but Sunset always told people that Sky Shimmer was named for the way her face shone when she smiled, just like a morning sunrise.

Sunset finished her pancakes and looked at the clock. “I guess I better get ready.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Too bad you couldn’t get the day off for Mother’s Day.”

Sunset shrugged and stood up. “Yeah, but you know. A security guard’s work is never done.”

Fluttershy looked up as Sunset went by, and the two of them exchanged a quick kiss. Fluttershy couldn’t resist smiling as they pulled away. “You’ve got syrup on your face.”

“I do?” Sunset tried to lick it off, failed, then shrugged and made her way to the bathroom.

Fluttershy leaned in closer to her daughter. “So it’s just us today, sweetie. What do you feel like doing?”

“Hmm… can we go visit Auntie Pinkie?”

“We can probably do that. I’ll call her in a bit.”

“Yay!”

Fluttershy stood up and grabbed a paper towel. She wet it in the sink then washed off Sky’s face. “There, nice and clean. Can I have a kiss?”

Sky leaned in and kissed Fluttershy with a loud ‘mwah’ sound, which caused her to giggle. “I love you, Sky.”

Sky beamed again, and once more the room was filled with light. “I love you too, Mama!”

* * *

“I don’t want to go…”

Fluttershy laughed a little. “Sorry, Sky, but you have to go to school.”

It was the first day of second grade, and both Fluttershy and Sunset had come to drop their daughter off. Sunset parked their car and they all got out.

Some kids didn’t like their parents going into school with them. Sky was just the opposite; she had to practically be dragged away from her moms when they brought her into class, and she always walked in holding each of their hands.

They brought her into the building and Sunset checked the information they were given to find the right room. They had both met with her teacher during the open house, but they weren’t used to the new room just yet.

Still, much to Sky’s probable dismay, they found the room soon enough. “Here it is, princess,” Sunset said as she opened the door. “Ready to meet your teacher?”

“No,” Sky said, sounding like she might cry. “I wanna go home with you.”

“We have to work, sweetie,” Fluttershy reminded her. She brushed her hand through Sky’s hair, which they had recently gotten cut shorter per her request. “Besides, I’m sure you’ll be happy here. Oh look, there’s Flurry Heart!”

Sky gasped. “Flurry! Can we go say hi?”

Sunset chuckled. “You go ahead, we’re gonna say hi to your teacher.”

“Okay. But don’t leave without saying goodbye!”

“We won’t,” Fluttershy promised. That was a mistake they weren’t going to make again.

While Sky ran off to see her friend, Sunset and Fluttershy spoke with her teacher. She was a nice woman, and they had no doubts that Sky would come to love her soon enough. They weren’t the only parents there though, so they didn’t take up too much of her time.

Thankfully, by the time they went back to check on Sky, she was already playing happily with Flurry. “We’re gonna get going, princess,” Sunset said.

Sky still pouted a little. “Okay…”

“Hey, none of that.” Sunset pinched her cheek. “We love you.”

“I love you too.”

Sunset held out her arms, so Sky ran into them. After she hugged one mom, she quickly hugged the other. “Mom will be back to get you before you know it,” Fluttershy said. “And I’ll be home by dinner time.”

“Okay.”

They stood up and waved to their daughter, who was soon back to playing with Flurry Heart. Seeing it was safe to do so, they left the room.

“At least she has a friend in her class,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, she’ll be alright.” Sunset was staring at the ground as she walked with her hands in her pocket.

Fluttershy smiled knowingly. “Hmm, you’re worried about her though.”

Sunset shrugged. “A little. You know how she is when she’s on her own.”

Fluttershy nudged Sunset. “You mean I know how _you_ are when she’s on her own.”

Sunset turned to face her and smiled. “Yeah, maybe.”

Fluttershy stopped Sunset and took her hands. “She’s with a friend, and her teacher is a nice lady. She’s not you, Sunny. She does well in school and makes friends easily.”

Sunset smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just worried over nothing. Now come on, let’s get you to work.”

Fluttershy resumed walking, but kept hold of one of Sunset’s hands. “How did we ever go so right as parents?”

“Honestly? Your guess is as good as mine.”

Fluttershy laughed. “Love you, Sunny.”

“Love you too, Shy.”

* * *

Sunset and Fluttershy were sitting at the kitchen table, and they didn’t need to speak to know they had the same thing on their minds. They were both wondering if they had done something wrong.

Neither of them ever heard their daughter raise her voice like that, certainly not directed _at_ them. Usually Sky was the perfect daughter, even if she was thirteen now.

If only she had asked anything else, it would have been fine. It wasn’t like it was the first time that she had brought it up either. She was clearly tired of the same old excuses…

There were footsteps behind them, and when they turned to look, Sky was standing there looking down at the ground. Fluttershy and Sunset exchanged looks. “Hey, Sky,” Sunset said.

Moments later, Sky was across the room hugging both of her moms. “I’m sorry,” she said in between sobs.

They both hugged her back, and Fluttershy stroked her hair. “Shh, it’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to yell at you, I just…”

“I understand,” Sunset said. “Wanna know a secret? I yelled at everyone when I was your age.”

“I just…” Sky looked between her parents. “I wish you’d just tell me about him.”

Fluttershy pursed her lips and Sunset looked to her. Eventually she sighed. “Pull up a chair.”

Sky obeyed, and Sunset took hold of Fluttershy’s hand.

It was inevitable that this would come up someday, Fluttershy knew that. Her daughter was thirteen, they had put it off for long enough. “You need to know that none of this has anything to do with you,” Fluttershy said. She brushed her hand along Sky’s cheek. “You’re our darling princess, and you always will be.”

“I know,” Sky said.

“Well…” Fluttershy looked to Sunset, who squeezed her hand, then turned back to their daughter. “The truth is your father was a very bad man…”

* * *

“Is everyone ready?” Twilight asked.

“As we’ll ever be,” Sunset said with a frown.

Twilight nodded and stepped forward, disappearing into the portal.

Fluttershy looked at Sky, who was staring wide-eyed at the spot where Twilight had been. “She really disappeared! Mama, she disappeared!”

Fluttershy laughed. “She did. We told you.”

Sunset looked back at her daughter and smirked. “Come on, you knew where Twilight and Fluttershy come from.”

Sky blushed a little, and Fluttershy got the impression she may have never been quite sure her parents weren’t pulling her leg about where their pony friends came from.

“You ready to go after her?” Fluttershy asked.

“I… I guess…”

“It’ll be fine. Here, I’ll go first.” Sunset stepped forward into the statue, disappearing through the portal.

Sky’s mouth was hanging open, and she just stared at the statue. “Wow… And we’ll be ponies on the other side.”

“So Mom says. I’ve never been either.”

Fluttershy had always wanted to go and see Sunset’s childhood home, but they hadn’t wanted her to go through when she was pregnant with Sky, and then they had a baby to raise. Little by little, time went by and they just never got around to it.

Then Sunset and Twilight had finally decided to change that when Sky mentioned one day that she didn’t believe in Equestria anymore. So they made plans, and then Sunset had gone ahead a few days before to make sure everything would be fine.

Now the day was upon them. “Want to go through together?” Fluttershy asked.

Sky only nodded.

Holding her daughter’s hand, Fluttershy stepped forward until the world around her disappeared.

She wasn’t ready for the sensation, but then, how could she ever be? It was like nothing else in the world, like being pulled apart and pressed together at the same time. It was sickening, and she was sure when everything stopped she was going to throw up.

But then it did stop, and all that happened was her world gradually stopped spinning. As it did, she realized that she had fallen on top of her daughter on the way in. She pushed herself up, feeling awkward as she did in every possible way.

“Remember, you have four legs here,” Twilight said.

Fluttershy blinked and realized she was right. She got up on shaky legs and looked around. The first thing she noticed was Sky. She was now a pony, just like everyone around her was, and she had wings. Sunset had told her that they weren’t sure what type of pony she would be, but wings meant she must be a pegasus.

“I’m… I’m a pony!” Sky said. “It’s all real! Holy shit!”

“Sky!” Sunset snapped.

“Sorry!” Sky said. “It’s just… wow!”

Sunset helped them out of their no-longer-fitting clothes, and Twilight gave them all new outfits to dress in. Twilight herself wore nothing. Fluttershy blushed as she realized Twilight wasn’t going to be dressing herself, but she said nothing; Sunset had warned them that ponies didn’t wear clothes, although she’d had the idea to have clothes made for the three of them.

“Is it safe to come in?” a voice Fluttershy barely recognized said. She knew this was a pony she’d never met, although she had once heard her human counterpart every day during morning announcements in high school.

“It’s safe,” Sunset said. She looked nervous, so Fluttershy ambled over to her to press her body against her wife’s.

A large white pony came into the room. She had wings and a horn, which Fluttershy knew meant she was an alicorn, and a prismatic mane.

Sky stepped behind Fluttershy a little bit, and the pony smiled. “Hello, Sky. My name is Celestia.”

“Princess Celestia,” Twilight said.

“Just Celestia is fine, I think,” Celestia said. She stepped forward and bent down to look at Sky better. “Sunset has told me all about you.”

“Come on, Sky, say hi,” Sunset said.

Sky stepped out from behind Fluttershy and looked up at the large pony. “Uhm, hi… My mom told me about you, too.”

Celestia smiled. “I’m very glad to hear that. Your mom is very important to me.”

“So, uhm…” Sky kicked at the ground. “Are you my grandma?”

Sunset’s mouth fell open and Fluttershy almost thought she might faint. They maybe could have been more clear on what Sunset’s relationship with Celestia had been…

Celestia blinked and her mouth curved into an O momentarily. She looked at Sunset, who had squeezed her eyes shut tight as if that could stop the situation from happening. “I’m sorry. Sky’s, she’s not –”

“Would you like me to be your grandma?” Celestia asked before Sunset could finish.

“I’ve… never had a grandparent,” Sky said. “I think I’d like that.”

Celestia smiled brightly. “In that case, yes. I don’t see why not.”

Sunset was now looking up at Celestia as well, and it was hard to tell whether she or her daughter were more awe-struck.

Celestia stepped forward and extended a wing. “So then, would it perhaps be too bold of me to ask my granddaughter for a hug?”

Sky looked down at her forelegs. “I don’t know how to hug as a pony.”

Celestia chuckled. “I think I can manage.” She stepped forward and draped a wing across Sky, who leaned against her.

“I-I’m sorry, Princess, I…” Sunset was left shaking her head, until Fluttershy bumped her closer to Celestia.

Celestia extended her other wing to cover Sunset, and her face flashed to a strange expression that was simultaneously heartbreaking and joyful. “Oh, Sunset… I’ve missed you so much.”

Fluttershy beamed at the sight, while Twilight walked over to her. “Uhm, what’s happening?”

Fluttershy just giggled. “Something that should have happened a long time ago.”

* * *

“Smile!”

Sky Shimmer and her date both smiled as a light flashed. Sunset held out her phone for herself and Fluttershy to see the picture. “Perfect.”

It was prom night, and Sky was on the arm of a charming young lady named Fantasia. Sky was in a white dress, while Fantasia was in a suave tuxedo.

“You kids should probably get going,” Fluttershy said.

Sunset nodded. “And you better not bring her back too late.”

“Come on, Mrs. Shimmer,” Fantasia said with a confident grin. “You know me better than that by now.”

Sunset looked disgruntled, so Fluttershy kissed her cheek. “Don’t mind Sunny, she just worries a little too much. You two have fun.”

“We will, Mama,” Sky said, then she turned to Fantasia. “Ready to go?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

They all said goodbye, Sunset threw in another vague threat, then they were off.

As soon as the door was closed, Sunset folded her arms.

Fluttershy used that as an excuse to hang off her wife’s arm and put on a pouty face. “Aww, is somebody grumpy that her little girl is growing up?”

“I just don’t like prom night. I know what happens at these things.”

Fluttershy grinned. “I promise no one is going to turn into a demon and try to mind control the school.”

Sunset sighed. “Yeah, I know I know… Sky’s not me…”

“Hmm, she is a lot like you.” Fluttershy put her arms behind Sunset’s head. “The best parts of you.”

Sunset finally cracked a smile. “Nah, she’s way more like you. Which is why I shouldn’t be so worried…”

“Besides, Fantasia is a nice girl.”

“Yeah, she is,” Sunset admitted begrudgingly.

Fluttershy finally pried apart Sunset’s arms so she could take her by the hand. “Come on, let’s go cuddle on the couch.”

“Alright. Gotta do something while we wait up for them to get back.”

“Oh stop.” Fluttershy grinned and slapped Sunset gently on the arm. “You’re awful.”

“And yet you love me.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Yeah, I do.”

They sat on the couch, and Fluttershy curled around Sunset. “You know,” Sunset said as she looked through movie options, “we did pretty well as parents.”

Fluttershy just smiled and snuggled closer to her wife. “Yeah, we did.”

* * *

Sky was crying on her bed, with Fluttershy and Sunset on either side of her. Fluttershy was patting her gently, while Sunset mostly fumed to herself.

“I just… I thought things were going so well,” Sky said, not for the first time.

“I know, sweetie,” Fluttershy said as she rubbed Sky’s back.

“Just who does she think she is?” Sunset asked. “This is her loss.”

“Sunny…” Fluttershy said gently, and Sunset’s features softened.

With a sigh, Sunset unwound enough to grab the box of tissues from the bedside table and hand them to Sky. She blew her nose and left the used tissue on the bed.

“I love her, Mom…”

Sunset frowned and stroked Sky’s hair. “I know, princess.”

Considering they had only dated for a month, it wasn’t really likely that Sky _really_ loved Fantasia. She was a teenager, and she was positive that her first romance was her one true love.

But even if there was no doubt that she’d eventually move on and find someone else that made her happy, right now, she was hurting. And whether they were in love or not, they’d definitely had a strong connection.

And now that connection had been severed. Not for any particular reason, at least none that they were given – Fantasia just wasn’t as into the relationship as Sky was.

Which was no one’s fault, no matter how angry Sunset was about it. These things happened all the time, _especially_ with high school romance. But it was hard to tell a seventeen-year-old that things would be better, that heartache didn’t last forever.

Still, they had to try. It was all they could do. And maybe, in its own way, that would be enough. “It’s okay, sweetie,” Fluttershy said as she held her daughter. “Let it out, it’s okay.”

* * *

The house felt so quiet these days, and Fluttershy hated it. She knew other parents that seemed to do okay with this, but for her, this was the most difficult adjustment of her life. And although she handled it a little better, Fluttershy could tell that Sunset felt the same way.

Her phone rang, and she lit up as she saw who was calling. She answered quickly. “Hi, sweetie.”

“Hi, Mama,” Sky said. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No, nothing at all. How’s school going?”

“It’s going well. I don’t like one of my professors though.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Tell me about it.”

And she did, and for a while, things felt normal again. They talked about Sky’s classes, about her campus, and to Fluttershy’s delight, about the nice guy she met that she had a date with over the weekend. They agreed to wait until after they saw how the date went to tell Sunset about that one.

Then they got to the hard part. “I miss you, Mama. And Mom too, of course.”

“I know. We miss you too.”

Sky sighed. “It’s just… it’s so hard being out here all alone.”

“It’ll get easier. You always were really good at making friends.”

“I know, but it’s not the same. I want my old friends. I want you two, and grandma, and all my aunts.”

Fluttershy could only smile sadly. “Things will get easier, little by little.”

“I know studying abroad was what I wanted, but maybe I made a mistake. I didn’t think I’d miss everyone this much.”

It was harder on Fluttershy than she’d expected as well, but she wasn’t going to say that. “It wasn’t a mistake. You made it into a great college, and we’re all so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mama.” It sounded like Sky was crying, and that made Fluttershy have to blink away tears as well. “I guess I just wanted to say I love you and I miss you.”

“I love you too, sweetie. And I can’t wait to see you over the holidays.”

“Yeah.” Okay, now Sky was definitely crying. “I just never thought it would be this hard.”

“I know, sweetie. It’ll be okay though.” Fluttershy wasn’t sure if she was talking more to Sky or to herself. “It’ll all be okay…”

* * *

Fluttershy couldn’t stop crying. How could she? It was the happiest day of her life.

At least Sunset was always nearby with tissues. “You gonna be able to hold it together for the big moment?”

“No,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “And don’t think I haven’t seen you blinking away tears too.”

“Yeah, well… maybe a little.” Sunset chuckled. “But come on! Our baby girl is getting married, I’m supposed to cry.”

Sky met her husband-to-be at college, and they had been inseparable ever since. He was outgoing enough to win over Sunset, which was a feat unto itself, and Fluttershy absolutely adored him. They were both delighted to add him to their family.

And today was the big day. Any moment would be the big moment. They were in their seats, the groom was bouncing nervously on his feet in front of them, and they were just waiting for their beautiful daughter to walk down the aisle.

“Aww, come on now,” Applejack said warmly from Sunset’s other side. “It’s just some fancy words and then a kiss. He was already part of the family before this.”

“Yeah, AJ’s right for once,” Rainbow said with a grin. She was seated beside Fluttershy. “I don’t see the big deal.”

“Easy for you two to say,” Rarity said. This was a big day for her as well, having designed not only the bride’s dress, but practically every significant outfit of the wedding. “Neither of you ever married.”

“Well I did,” Pinkie pointed out. “But I agree with Applejack. Marriage doesn’t change anything. They’ve always been _super_ in love!”

“Besides, marriage is a beautiful custom,” Twilight added. “And I’m sure the moms over here agree.”

“Definitely,” Sunset said, her hand finding Fluttershy’s. “My marriage changed my life.”

Fluttershy felt more tears coming on, so she dabbed at her eyes with the tissue. “Mine too.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the music started playing and the door behind them opened. All eyes turned to watch Sky Shimmer walk down the aisle, and Fluttershy was no longer the only one crying.

* * *

Sunset popped a champagne bottle and everyone cheered. She filled glasses, but just a small one for herself and for Fluttershy. Neither of them was as young as they used to be, after all.

One by one, everyone gathered to give the couple their congratulations. Most of their friends couldn’t believe that the couple had been together for fifty years, and everyone wanted to know their secret.

One person didn’t need to ask, though. “Congratulations, Mom, Mama.”

Fluttershy smiled at her daughter. “Thanks, sweetie.”

“Don’t look now, princess, but that means your fiftieth birthday is around the corner.”

Some things never changed, even after fifty years. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I want to hold onto being in my forties a little bit longer.”

Fluttershy and Sunset both laughed. Neither of them was seeing their forties ever again, or their fifties for that matter.

“Before you know it, you’ll be the one in our place,” Fluttershy said.

Sky smiled and looked back at her husband, who was chatting with Rainbow Dash about her glory days as a rockstar. “I hope it’s not too fast. I want to enjoy this ride while it lasts.”

“You will,” Sunset said. “I did.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Me too.”

* * *

Fluttershy blinked. She wasn’t sure what was going on. A moment ago, she had been at her fiftieth anniversary-party, and now she was in a field near Sweet Apple Acres. She knew this place was important, but for the moment, she couldn’t remember how come.

She still got around okay, even at sixty-nine years old, so she started walking. Maybe it would come to her the more she went. It was a pleasant place for a walk, anyway. There were flowers growing all around her.

As she walked, several strange things happened. Old aches that had been around for so long she scarcely noticed them started to go away. She slowly realized she was seeing better, and she stood straighter. When she looked down at her hands, they were no longer wrinkled with the signs of her age.

By all accounts, she grew younger the more she walked. She certainly felt younger. As well, she didn’t seem to actually be going anywhere, remaining consistently within the field of flowers.

She kept walking, and slowly she realized that things weren’t right. She wasn’t that old, she was only twenty-three. She hadn’t ever married Sunset, and certainly not for fifty years. And her daughter…

Fluttershy broke into a run. She needed to get to Sky. She needed to find her daughter. She couldn’t be gone, she couldn’t be…

“Hi, Mama.”

Fluttershy stopped in place and wheeled around to look at where the voice had come from. Among the flowers was a tiny headstone, and Fluttershy knew that buried beneath it was an even smaller coffin.

But standing on top of it was a young girl. She had sky blue skin with freckles, bright golden eyes, and her hair was streaked yellow and pink.

“Sky!” Fluttershy ran over to her and fell to her knees on the grave. She held out her hands, afraid that Sky would disappear if she touched her.

But Sky took the extra step forward and put her arms around Fluttershy. She could feel her daughter’s little arms on her, and she clung to her desperately, terrified of losing her again.

“Did you get what you needed, Mama?”

“What?” Fluttershy shook her head, nuzzling against Sky in the process. “I don’t understand, sweetie.”

“It’s what you always wanted, right?” Sky asked. “To know what could’ve been.”

“Shh, don’t say that. Don’t say it like it’s over.”

“It is. But it doesn’t have to be.”

Fluttershy blinked rapidly as tears started coming. “I never want this to be over.”

“You need to think about that. I’ll always love you, Mama, but there are other people who still need you.”

“You need me. You’re my daughter, and you need me to be here for you.”

“You know that’s not true.” Sky put her hands to Fluttershy’s ears, and she could hear someone calling out her name. Was it… Rainbow Dash?

“You have a choice,” Sky said as she pulled her hands away, returning them to Fluttershy’s shoulders as she hugged her mom. “You _can_ stay here with me, but that means leaving everyone else behind. Or you can go back to the people who need you now, and you can turn your life into one worth living.”

Fluttershy shook her head and tears fell. She remembered. Rainbow needed her, and so did Lemon Zest, and Windfall, and Gilda, and Lightning Dust, and Flash… They all needed her. “Don’t make me choose.”

“I’m sorry.” Sky looked up into Fluttershy’s eyes. “But you have to.”

Fluttershy couldn’t imagine ever letting go of her daughter, not after having lived without her for so long. She needed this. This couldn’t just be over.

“Close your eyes,” Sky said, and Fluttershy did. “Now open them.”

Fluttershy opened her eyes, but her daughter wasn’t in front of her. She saw Rainbow leaning over her, begging her to wake up. She was crying. Rainbow never cried, but that’s what Fluttershy saw.

And then as soon as she blinked, it was gone. She was back in the field of flowers, and Sky was in her arms.

“You have to choose,” Sky said. “And then you have to always remember that it was your choice.”

Fluttershy bowed her head, clinging to her daughter for as long as she could. “Can I… just hold you a little longer.”

“Of course, Mama.”

Fluttershy kept her arms around her daughter and stood up, keeping her held against her chest. She held her tightly with one arm and stroked her yellow and pink hair with the other.

She wanted to sing. She used to sing lullabies for Sky, back when she was still inside of her. She remembered thinking Sunset would poke fun at her since Sky couldn’t really hear them, but she had joined in instead.

Fluttershy wanted so badly to sing now, but her voice wouldn’t come out. Instead, she hummed. She hummed a tuneless melody that came from somewhere inside of her, something so private to her and Sky that no one else could ever hear it. It felt like it had always been there, she just never found the right person to share it with.

“I love you, Sky.”

“I love you too, Mama.”

“I need to know that you’ll be okay.”

Sky smiled at her. It was a beautiful smile, one that shone like the morning sun. “I’m fine, Mama. I’m always with you, and with Mom.”

“Even now?”

“Even now.”

“Even… even after all the things I’ve done?”

“Yes, Mama. Always.”

Fluttershy couldn’t speak, so she just nodded her head.

“Are you ready now?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.” Fluttershy shook her head. “But I know I can’t stay. Other people still need me.”

Sky nodded. “That’s right. Thank you for protecting me for so long.”

“The two of us will be together someday, right?”

“We’ll always be together, Mama.”

Fluttershy held Sky tightly and closed her eyes. And when she opened them, everything was different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How lucky I ever was to see  
> The way that you smile at me  
> Your little moon face shining bright for me  
> One day there'll be nothing left of you and me
> 
> Two coffins for sleep...  
> Two coffins for sleep...
> 
> [~ Against Me! – Two Coffins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbyzN2l-yh8)


	23. Choices Made

#### Chapter Twenty-Three

## Choices Made

When she was in high school, Rainbow’s grandfather had died. She had always liked him, but he lived in another town and so they usually only saw each other on holidays. She remembered the last time she had seen him, on Thanksgiving. They laughed about how they’d see each other again for Christmas, and then in between, he’d had a heart attack.

Rainbow had gone to the hospital with her parents afterwards, and she had seen his body. It had given her a lot to think about. About her grandfather, about her relationship with him, about mortality, about seeing her dad crying so openly, about the bonds of family.

Then she moved on with her life. A little sadder than before. Holidays felt a little emptier. But she was a teenager, and he had never been in the best of health. She had always heard about the five stages of grief, but she couldn’t relate at all. For Rainbow, her grandfather’s passing was always something she accepted, from the moment her mom told her about it.

But even as her life continued, she thought about that day. Not all the time. But sometimes at night, she’d lie in bed and think about the last time she’d seen her grandfather. It was the first and last time she had seen a dead body, and it had given her a lot to think about.

Another thing she’d always heard was people looked like they could be sleeping when they were dead. It made sense. She’d seen people sleeping, and sometimes they could be really still.

But she didn’t think that about her grandfather. He didn’t look like he was sleeping, he looked like he was dead. Maybe it was just because she knew he was, but there was no feeling that he might get up at any moment, no thought that he might roll over. There was a stillness to him that was beyond sleep.

Fluttershy looked like that now. There was a recurring beep that informed Rainbow and everyone else in the room that she was still alive, but that was it. To Rainbow, she looked so much like her grandfather had. A stillness beyond sleep.

There were some things that were just impossible to get used to. It was the third time that Rainbow was standing over Fluttershy while she was unconscious on a hospital bed, and it was even more horrifying than the first two.

The first time, she had been in shock. But even when it took Fluttershy a week to wake up, Rainbow had never lost faith. Fluttershy would wake up. The world would not take her best friend from her. That just wasn’t how things worked.

The second time had been the easiest. It had been terrifying, of course, but Fluttershy was only out for twenty minutes. And that time, she really had looked just like she was sleeping.

This time, everything felt different.

“Shy, please…” Rainbow wiped away her tears. “I can’t do this without you…”

She had said it so much, and she wasn’t even sure why. It wasn’t like Fluttershy could hear her. But if she said nothing, if she _did_ nothing, then she was just sitting by while Fluttershy lay there, looking still beyond sleep.

So she pleaded. Time and again, she asked Fluttershy to come back to her. Even if her words fell on deaf ears, even if there was nothing she could do to help, she pleaded as if that would be what brought Fluttershy back to her.

No one else said anything. Maybe they knew Rainbow needed to try. Maybe they were desperate enough to hope it could work. Maybe they just didn’t have the words to tell her it was pointless. The others were there, and they did nothing to stop her.

“Wake up, Shy. Come back to me…”

The door behind them opened up, but Rainbow didn’t look. Not when she heard the footsteps, not when she heard the voice. “We’ll need some of you to wait in the waiting room.”

“What?” Rainbow said meekly. It took another moment for the words to sink in, then she finally turned away from Fluttershy.

“I’ll go,” Flash said. “Everyone else here is probably closer to Shy.”

“I’ll go too,” Gilda said. “Dash should stay.”

“How many people can wait in here with her?” Windfall asked.

“No,” Rainbow said. “No! Shy needs _all_ of us! We’re her family!”

Everyone looked at Rainbow, but it was Lighting who walked up to her. She put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder, then changed her mind and pulled her into a hug. “Dash, Shy needs to rest… We’re all worried about her, but… we’re not doing her any favors, you know?”

“No.” Rainbow shook her head and felt tears welling up again. “No, we can’t just leave her, she’s going to wake up and we all need to be here when she does.”

“Dash…” Lemon Zest gave her a pitying look. “You’re the one who needs us… How about me and Dust stay with you?”

Rainbow shook her head. “But Shy…”

There was a noise from behind Rainbow, and all eyes turned to look. Just a little murmur, but Rainbow filled with hope.

She took hold of Fluttershy’s hand and bent over the bed to be as close to her as she could. “Fluttershy? Can you hear me?”

“Rain…bow…?”

Rainbow couldn’t help but let out a sob in relief, her tears falling on her hands clutching Fluttershy’s. “Shy… you’re awake…”

“Mmm…” Fluttershy blinked a few times, and her eyes pointed in Rainbow’s direction without seeming to focus.

The doctor walked through the crowded room to get to Fluttershy. He spoke directly and clearly. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes…”

The doctor asked questions that Fluttershy answered to the best of her ability. Even if she was conscious again, she still sounded very out of sorts. They established things like her ability to move all her limbs and how her vitals were.

“I’ll give you all some time together,” the doctor said as he finished. “But we really don’t want to crowd Miss Fluttershy right now.”

He left, and everyone immediately made their way to Fluttershy’s side. They all must have had the same questions, but no one spoke at first.

Eventually it was Lemon Zest that broke the silence. “So… how are you feeling?”

“Shitty,” Fluttershy grumbled, then she smiled at everyone. “But I’m glad you’re all here.”

“You know, we’re all here if there’s anything you need to talk about,” Windfall said.

“I know.” Fluttershy closed her eyes. “I’m just glad to be here right now though.”

“Let’s lay off the heavy discussion for now,” Rainbow suggested. “Right now, all that matters is that Shy’s safe.”

“And that nothing like this happens again,” Lightning said. “So what do we need to do, Shy? Just say the word, and we’ll fix it.”

Fluttershy’s eyes were half-lidded and she looked like she might fall back asleep at any moment. “I… I need to be on the tour.” Fluttershy’s eyes shot open. “The tour! You shouldn’t be here.”

Rainbow bowed her head, knowing that Fluttershy wouldn’t like what she had to say.

With a sigh, Gilda broke the news. “We cancelled the show. Figured we could add a stop in this city on the end of the tour to make up for it.”

Fluttershy groaned. “You shouldn’t have done that…”

Rainbow bowed her head. “How do you expect us to play when you’re in here? Just think about how we would feel if you died while we were playing a show!”

Fluttershy reached out to brush her hand against Rainbow’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s not give her a hard time tonight,” Lemon Zest said softly.

Of course, Lemon Zest was right. Rainbow knew that. But now that Fluttershy was awake, Rainbow couldn’t help it. She was angry. She didn’t want to be, she knew Fluttershy didn’t need that right now, but she was. She shook her head and looked up with tears in her eyes, holding back the anger as much as she could. “This was on purpose, wasn’t it?”

Fluttershy pulled her hand back, but she didn’t answer.

“I saw the pill bottle. What were they, Shy?”

Fluttershy closed her eyes. “Sleeping pills.”

Lightning put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Dash.”

Rainbow just brushed it off. “Did you even think about us? About _me?_ About what we would feel like when we found you?”

“Yes…” Fluttershy muttered. “I just… I wanted to stop hurting. I’m tired, Dashie. I’m so tired…”

“Let her rest for now, Dash,” Gilda said harshly.

Fluttershy looked up at Rainbow. “I regretted it, though. As soon as I took all those pills, before I passed out. I thought about you and everyone, and…” Fluttershy blinked a couple times as tears formed in her eyes. “I wanted to stay with you.”

Rainbow took hold of Fluttershy’s hands. “Just… don’t do that again…”

Fluttershy gave a few short sharp nods.

The door behind them opened, and a nurse stepped in. “We’re gonna need to ask you all to clear the room. Now that the patient’s awake, we have some tests we’d like to run.”

“They can’t stay?” Fluttershy asked meekly.

“Afraid not. At least not everyone.”

The group talked amongst themselves and decided that Rainbow and Lemon Zest would wait behind while everyone else cleared out. They didn’t go back to the hotel, though; they waited in the waiting room, deciding to take turns with Fluttershy.

Everyone filed out, including the nurse. He said he’d be back with the doctor, so it was briefly just the three of them.

Rainbow pulled up a chair to sit beside Fluttershy, but Lemon Zest remained standing. She shifted nervously on her feet, before finally asking, “Uhm, is this my fault?”

“Oh, Zesty, no…” Fluttershy gave a weak smile. “This had nothing to do with you.”

Lemon Zest looked unsure. “Then why now…?”

Fluttershy turned away. “I was… afraid. Of going back to Everton, of not being needed by anyone anymore.”

“Shy, we still need you,” Rainbow said. “You’re our friend. You’re my _sister._ How could you ever think we’d be okay without you?”

“It just felt like you didn’t want me around.” Fluttershy stared at the ceiling. “Like I was just a burden to everyone these days.”

“That’s not true,” Lemon Zest said. “We really thought taking some time off would be good for you.”

“Maybe it would be, but…” Fluttershy shook her head. “I just can’t. I need to be doing something, I… I need to be with you all.”

Rainbow searched for something to say, but the doors opened and the doctor and nurse came back in. Not wanting to talk about sensitive topics in front of them, she and Lemon Zest just moved out of their way.

Rainbow watched, thinking of how frail Fluttershy looked. Thinking of how close they had come to losing her. She was alive, but if things had happened just a little bit differently… They told her if she had landed on her back when she fell, then she might have wound up drowning in her own vomit when her body rejected the pills she took.

And there was part of Rainbow who couldn’t help but keep remembering the way her grandfather looked. The way Fluttershy had looked. Sure, she was moving around now, but it was hard to shake that memory of how still she had been, hard to feel confident that she’d be okay after something like that.

She felt a hand wrap around hers and looked over at Lemon Zest. One look was all it took to tell that she wasn’t the only one with those thoughts. Fluttershy was her sister, but she wasn’t the only one who felt like that these days. The band was their family, and that family had been shaken.

Rainbow cupped her hand around Lemon Zest’s and hoped that somehow things could someday be normal again.

* * *

“How’s it feel to be back?” Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy leaned on Rainbow as they walked, still feeling ill even a day later. But somehow, she still smiled. “It feels good. I’m glad to be back.”

They walked through the backstage area. The hospital had been reluctant to let her go, but they had been adamant – the band wasn’t leaving without her, and they couldn’t miss another show.

Rainbow helped Fluttershy to a chair, which she sat down in. She seemed exhausted, but she still smiled. She was always smiling, ever since she got out of the hospital.

Rainbow sat down beside her, and Fluttershy gave her a strange look. “You have a soundcheck to do.”

“In a minute,” Rainbow said. Something told her to stay by Fluttershy’s side right now, although she wasn’t sure what. The others were all getting ready for the soundcheck, so it was just the two of them.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “I’ve made my choice.”

“What do you mean?”

“To live,” Fluttershy said. “To stay with you. I chose this.”

Rainbow wasn’t exactly sure that was true, but she liked the fact that Fluttershy was feeling dedicated to fighting. “We’re going to need to change things.”

“Yes,” Fluttershy said. “We are, aren’t we?”

“I talked to the band. We all agreed no more alcohol backstage.”

Fluttershy nodded slowly. “I think… I think that sounds good.”

“And… Well, Short Fuse suggested it, and we all agreed… When we get back to Everton after the tour, maybe you should use that time to try some therapy.”

Fluttershy turned away, then sighed. “Yeah. You’re probably right. After the tour, I’ll look into it.”

Rainbow shifted uncomfortably. “It’s just, you know, none of us are experts.”

Fluttershy nudged Rainbow lightly. “I said I’ll do it, Dashie. But I understand.”

Rainbow smiled, happy that at least _some_ good might come from this. “Hey, Shy?”

“Yeah?”

“You know we all love you, right?”

Fluttershy leaned against Rainbow. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me.”

Rainbow laughed, then put her arm around Fluttershy. “Just for you.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath and sighed, though she didn’t seem unhappy. “I love you too. All of you.”

“So what do we do from here?”

“Well, you go do your soundcheck, and I call around to try and schedule a replacement concert for the one you all cancelled.”

Rainbow shook her head. “Not just that. Like… how do we, you know, pick up the pieces?”

Fluttershy was quiet for a moment, then she said, “With help from each other.”

Rainbow nodded, then stood up. “Guess we better get to work.”

Fluttershy was already pulling out her phone. “Yeah.”

Rainbow took a step away, then stopped. She turned back to Fluttershy. “Hey, Shy… you’ll tell me if you feel like doing something like that again, right?”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dashie.”

“I’m serious!”

“So am I.” Fluttershy pushed herself up, even though she looked unsure on her feet. She stumbled just a bit as she took a step towards Rainbow. “I’ll talk about it more.”

“I just want you to be happy again.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “You know I haven’t been happy for a long time, right?”

“I know.” Rainbow bowed her head, then lifted it with a smile. “But hey, if anyone’s awesome enough to make you happy again, it’s me, right?”

Fluttershy giggled. “Definitely. Until then, it’s just one day at a time. Just like it’s always been.”

Rainbow really wanted Fluttershy to live life more than one day at a time, but she realized that she couldn’t expect that for some time. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

Fluttershy hugged Rainbow, and when she spoke, her voice was filled with uncertainty. “Uhm, can we talk later? About… Sunset, and Sky, and just… everything I’ve been feeling?”

It was always a short conversation when Sunset came up, and Sky _never_ came up. Rainbow hugged Fluttershy tightly, knowing she wouldn’t speak about them lightly. “Of course we can.”

Fluttershy nodded and pulled away. “Thanks, Dashie. Now go get to work.”

Rainbow grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

She took a step away, but she was stopped by Fluttershy’s voice. “Love you, Dash.”

Rainbow had never been comfortable telling anyone she loved them, even her parents. But if this experience had taught her anything, it was that she needed to get comfortable with things like that. “Love you too, Shy.”

Fluttershy waved her off and returned to her seat, where she focused on her phone. Rainbow turned to head out to the others, but she was stopped once again by Fluttershy.

“Uhm…” Fluttershy stood up again and put away her phone, following after Rainbow. “I think the calls can wait a little. I’d rather watch your soundcheck. You know, like we used to do when you were first starting out.”

Rainbow grinned, remembering that first tour. Fluttershy had insisted she be there for every single soundcheck. “Sounds good.”

She helped Fluttershy as far as the stage, where the others all lit up when they saw her. “Hey, Shy!” Windfall said with a grin. “Good to see you up and about.”

Lemon Zest hopped off her seat and made her way out from behind the drum set to run up to Fluttershy. “Should you be here, though? I mean, I’m happy to see you, but shouldn’t you be resting?”

Gilda nudged Lemon Zest out of the way to put her arm around Fluttershy. “Nah, Shy’s tough!”

Fluttershy giggled. “I just want to watch.”

“Shy!” Lightning Dust called from the crowd. She was standing there with Flash. “Get your ass over here already so they can fucking start!”

Fluttershy beamed and waved at them. Flash made his way to the stage and gave her an arm to lean on as she made her way into the crowd.

Rainbow looked around at her band. “So we ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Windfall said. He passed Rainbow her guitar, and she slung it over her shoulder.

Gilda played a few notes on her bass, then Rainbow took her spot between her and Windfall as Lemon Zest ran back behind her drum set. “We all ready?”

Rainbow flashed her a thumbs up, so Lemon Zest tapped her drumsticks together to count them in. Rainbow looked out at the crowd and saw Fluttershy was sitting in between Flash and Lightning Dust. They both seemed more interested in Fluttershy than the band.

But Fluttershy? She was beaming directly at Rainbow. Their first fan, their manager, their friend, and their sister. Fluttershy’s voice would never be the loudest when she cheered them on, but she would always be the most important.

Rainbow grinned, stepped up to the microphone, and she started to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends Thicker Than Water! Well, mostly. There's an epilogue, so don't forget to read that. I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride as much as I have. If you’ve read through this whole story, all I ask in return is your thoughts on it. Consider dropping a comment below to let me know how you feel! I genuinely have no idea if anyone on this site is still reading my words, so like, please consider dropping a comment so I know it's worth it to keep posting here ^^'
> 
> I also have a [Discord server](https://discord.gg/MzptPj4), if you feel like coming in and hanging out ^^
> 
> And before you go, if you care about this sort of thing, here’s my choice for end credit music:  
> [Against Me! – Ache With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIj4d5evZT0)


	24. Epilogue

There was a flaw in the way the sirens tracked the Equestrian magic source – they could only detect it when it flared up. Whoever was using the magic, they weren’t using it constantly.

That made the search a very long one. Every time they caught up to wherever the magic was the last time it was used, it had moved to somewhere else. Years had passed since they started their search, and all three sirens were considering giving up on it.

“Oh, hey!” Sonata said as she noticed a poster. “There’s a Bitchette concert tonight!”

“Ugh, who cares.” Aria tore down the poster and threw it over her shoulder. “Travelling with them was so annoying.”

“It wasn’t _that_ bad,” Sonata said with a frown. It had been a very long time since the three of them had toured with Bitchette, but Sonata had fond memories of that time.

“Aria’s right,” Adagio said. “We need to focus. The magic source was around here just earlier today. We need to keep our eyes open for it.”

Sonata pouted, but she didn’t say anything. There was no sense in arguing when both Adagio and Aria agreed on something.

They were in a seedy part of town, which was where the magic had flared up most recently. It had been hours, though, and there was no way to tell if whoever used it was still around. True, they kept getting slightly closer, but they hadn’t had a real lead in ages.

“Adagio, I’m tired of this,” Aria said. “I just want to go back to our bar.”

“We don’t even know if our bar is still there,” Adagio pointed out. “We haven’t been back in years, Aria. We’ve given too much for this search to give up now.”

“Yeah, but –”

“ _Enough,_ Aria.” Adagio turned to face her testily. “We’re close this time, I’m sure of it. And then everything will be worth it.”

“Hey, isn’t that…” Sonata said squinted at a woman walking by. She had her hood up on her jacket, but something about her looked familiar.

“Not now, Sonata!” Aria shot at her.

“But –”

“Enough squabbling!” Adagio shot at the two of them. “Come on, I want to check that way.”

Adagio and Aria started walking off, but Sonata stayed in place. The woman she was looking at walked past her without sparing her a glance.

“Sonata!” Adagio called.

“Wait!” Sonata said to the woman, who did not. Sonata ran after her and grabbed onto her hood, pulling it off.

“Hey, what gives!?” The woman said as she turned around. Her red and yellow hair fell past her shoulder, and she had amber-colored skin and cyan eyes.

“Well well well,” Adagio ignored Sonata’s role in unearthing her identity in favor of walking up to the woman. “This is a surprise.”

“Who the hell do you think you are? I’m warning you, I’m _not_ the bitch you want to fuck with.”

“Do you think she has something to do with the magic?” Aria asked, walking up to the woman’s other side.

“Magic?” The other woman blinked a few times. “What do you know about magic?”

“Uhm, I don’t think this is the same person…” Sonata said. “She doesn’t know who we are.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Adagio said with a grin. “You’re not the same. But you _are_ Sunset Shimmer, aren’t you?”

“How do you know my name?” Sunset asked. “And what was that about magic?”

Adagio laughed. “I think you might be _just_ who we’ve been looking for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonata’s cutie mark in the header was made by [Sugar-Loop](https://www.deviantart.com/sugar-loop/art/Sonata-Dusk-Cutie-Mark-Vector-504003513).


End file.
